Tjra:
LONG STORY ALERT!!!


Good afternoon Nairaland.

God has been so good to my family this year and a particular blessing has been giving us sleepless night.

I work with a big organisation here in Lagos and currently earn about N600k. I used to work in the branch since my entry level days 6 years ago until I was able to runz the head office movement.

Ever since I join the HQ two years, my life has been at ease. No weekend duties, no sickening pressures from customers. I have been able to develop my self, complete the professional courses I abandoned and can rest well on weekends/public holidays.

The worklife balance now isn't only the advantage of working at the HQ. The career progression and rapid promotion crowns it all.

My spouse earns a little above N400k and we manage ourselves well. Our combined income isn't that much but we've been able to achieve a lot due to our mutual cooperation. She commits her resources 100% into our home. Some people see me as a "big man" outside, no knowing I am actually enjoying the reward of marrying a good wife.

My wife recently got a job very lucrative job. Salary is about N1.5M monthly. She was on the process for close to a year. You can imagine our joy when she was eventually given an offer. This job is a huge one for us as a family and will make life more sweet.

My pain now is the job is based at Abuja and that means she has to relocate there with our kids. Abuja is not where I can drive to considering the security situation of Nigeria. Also, it won't be wise to fly down every week (I also have hidden phobia for heights ) because of costs and other attendant risks.

I actually want us to live together as a family most especially because of our kids. Some Kids tend to be spoilt when raised almost alone their mothers. As a father, I want to jointly raise them with their mother and also instill discipline in them appropriately.

The only solution on sight is to ask my company for redeployment to a branch at Abuja. This I fear might return me back to "Egypt". I.e days of stunted growth, no promotions. In summary, I am scared of killing my career by myself.

My wife is okay with us visiting each other every month but I am vehemently against it.

Someone please help

Tjra:
It's actually a tough one. Most especially because the kids are pre-schoolers. The eldest is 4 years.

They are a bit stubborn/mischievous and need some iron hand occasionally. Their mum is the soft type

Things seem easy a bit now because we splits bills for house rents, fuel, home maintenance etc.. now we have to run two two homes (I could get a self contained though).

Monthly return flight ticket cost a fortune though

ecolime:

Wish I could help bro. I'm just an employee. My coy post entry level/experienced hire jobs online from time to time. Nothing like personal recommendation or referrals. At least not at my own level.

Karleb:
How much is flight from Lagos to Abuja again?

Bros, it's better you arrange with your wife and arrange some 300k for your flight to Abuja every weekend or you talk to your boss about the new developments. There is a saying that you miss 100 percent of the shot you don't take.

I admire this your family sha.

Tjra:
Also, note that it will take a big deal of effort on my part to convince my current supervisors that I want to leave them for Abuja.

They actually would be heartbroken because they almost always recommend me for promotion over the other guys I met in the new department.

Makes me feel like I am about to betray them but the truth for me is Family first over job/career for me.

Klass99:


Lol , you see yourselves?

So, you all are willing to give up certainty/a bird in hand (like the 3M Naija job) for uncertainty so long as, it is ogbodo-onyibo and someone else is picking up the tab for relocation, abi?

What happened to the usual rhetoric of Naija women change once they land abroad, don't make that mistake of relocating with a Naija woman, she will show you shege once she reaches there.

What happens to the usual fear men nurse about starting over in their latter years or doing menial jobs for survival, knowing they'll be giving up good jobs here like your bosses did?

By the way, if I may ask how are they faring since quitting to relocate? I know one guy who used to be with Forte Oil, earning really well. He relocated with his family but now is back looking for work, he relocated them on his own dime not company money.

This grass is not always greener on the other side, even Tjra who is saying if that was the case (company paid relocation to abroad) he would go, do menial jobs while seeking a better job, may find out sooner or later in such a scenario that he was better off with his 600k job and relocating to Abuja instead.

I'm still curious about your bosses who left. How's that working out for them? I hope they are not speaking this same narrative you spoke in your first post or experiencing the pains of Naija women abroad


O'boy, you have succeeded in sending shivers down my spine.
I am about moving my family overseas.
My home rakes about #800k monthly( both salaries and businesses).
Wify is a banker and earns about #300k monthly.
Recently, she got a lecturing job at a federal university,but the salary is half her present salary. At the same time, she got an offer from
another bank with a pay of #500k.
Now, she doesn't know which to pick.
I presented her with the idea of relocating overseas and have commence preparations.
The question that got out of her mouth was " hope we won't regret relocating"?
I have not replied her up to now.
That was why your write up git me thinking so hard.

boldx:
Bro, take a short leave and see your wife and family off to Abuja. Help them get a house, a school and let them settle down. Lesson: Women can blame you later for limiting their career path if something goes wrong.

Then go back to Lagos to your job. Trust God for a way out with all your heart. As time goes on, you and your wife can make adjustments but please do NOT resign from your job for now. With time, this issue will be sorted out.