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My Swiss Woman. - Romance - Nairaland

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Swiss Lady Bullied For Being ‘Ugly’ Spends Big On Plastic Surgery To Feel Happy (2) (3) (4)

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My Swiss Woman. by Anymoment: 10:20am On Jun 19, 2021
Hello fam, I’m quite popular here so I have to create this account to remain anonymous. My issue is this, I have been in an online romantics relationship for the past two years with a Swiss lady, after trying to come to naija for about one year now she will be in naija in two weeks time. It’s my dream to have her in Nigeria but as the date draws nearer I must confess I am getting furiously anxious, I am working on my health, hygiene in order to avoid any mess up, she is a sex maniac as she had made me to understand, I am currently drinking a herbal tea introduced to me here on Nairaland to maximize my sexual prowess but I still have plans to sneak in enhancement drugs into our hotel room when she arrives, we will be staying in Lagos for two weeks, please family, what are your suggestions for me as to where she will stay, I am thinking she stays close to the airport, she intends spending all her time with me in the room and doesn’t have plans of going out to maybe beaches, eateries etc but I know we would definitely go out few times, where is a nice place we can hangout in Lagos that will make her stay memorable, I think of beach but I think beach will be too rowdy, I have plans to visit art gallery, fashion shops because she’s very into Nigeria fashion and want to get some for herself when she is leaving, I don’t know if she would love clubbing but in case, what club is nice in Lagos, my number one fear is her safety, given the current security situation in naija I just pray she is safe, please guys I need tips on safety measures, I am sure we will be using Uber for movements but I have a friend that drives a taxi in Lagos I don’t know if it will be safer to use his service instead of Uber, please guys, have you ever been in this situation, please I need tips for safety, places to visit, people to meet, what to do in Lagos etc to make her stay memorable for the two weeks duration. Thanks for your inputs .

1 Like

Re: My Swiss Woman. by Anymoment: 10:21am On Jun 19, 2021
Help fam

1 Like

Re: My Swiss Woman. by MarketDispatch: 10:34am On Jun 19, 2021
Get an Airbnb in Lekki phase 1.

Drink more water to flush toxins out of your system.

Buy plenty yoghurt and milk for replenishing energy ...

You don't need sex enhancement drugs. Just reduce or eliminate Carbohydrate foods (Eba, rice, fufu, etc) prior and during the period


Lastly, whatever you do, know you are representing the whole of Nigerian men grin

23 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Swiss Woman. by DaddyRochie1642: 10:35am On Jun 19, 2021
I read where you said you plan on "sneaking in sex enhancement drugs into your Hotel room".... That's how it starts, If care is not taken, I'll be here to read your news on Nairaland Frontpage titled

"Man Dies ontop of his Swiss Lover in a Hotel in Lagos" grin grin

26 Likes

Re: My Swiss Woman. by Anymoment: 10:40am On Jun 19, 2021
Thanks very much for your input, I really appreciate, do you have ideal of activities we can engage in to make her stay memorable?or places we can visit ?
MarketDispatch:
Get an Airbnb in Lekki phase 1.

Drink more water to flush toxins out of your system.

Buy plenty yoghurt and milk for replenishing energy ...

You don't need sex enhancement drugs. Just reduce or eliminate Carbohydrate foods (Eba, rice, fufu, etc) prior and during the period



Re: My Swiss Woman. by begoniaa: 11:04am On Jun 19, 2021
Yup. Ideas:
-Visit the Osun-Osogbo sacred grooves
-Go to see a masquerade performance
-Visit the most localest Mama put
-Bath in rivers
-Buy ropes to visit the most dense forest and engage in some fun acrobatic skills
-Go to watch a football program or movies at all these viewing centers, especially at those ones that put tellevisons outside and the street kids gather to watch
-Go to a Saheed Osupa Live Concert
-Go zoo-watching
-Get in your car, drive to a traffic stronghold, park in the middle of the road as there's bound to be a grid-lock, use ese to sa the whole of Lagos 'til your shoes are chopped, coated in dust and you're literally white and disheveled and sweaty and then take a korope back to where you parked your car at night. The wizards would have left the road by now.
-Then you retire to your room for a limb wars. I'll recommend kolaq alagbo services for maximum impact and gorontulas

Do these and come back to sow seed to me on your testimony. If she no get memorable experience after all these, my name no be Beggi. smiley smiley

3 Likes

Re: My Swiss Woman. by Anymoment: 11:34am On Jun 19, 2021
Haha, thanks man, but some of these places you mentioned are not in Lagos, I.e the grove. Thanks very much, do you have any safety tips or measures I should take ?
begoniaa:
Yup. Ideas:
-Visit the Osun-Osogbo sacred grooves
-Go to see a masquerade performance
-Visit the most localest Mama put
-Bath in rivers
-Buy ropes to visit the most dense forest and engage in some fun acrobatic skills
-Go to watch a football program or movies at all these viewing centers, especially at those ones that put tellevisons outside and the street kids gather to watch
-Go to a Saheed Osupa Live Concert
-Go zoo-watching
-Get in your car, drive to a traffic stronghold, park in the middle of the road as there's bound to be a grid-lock, use ese to sa the whole of Lagos 'til your shoes are chopped, coated in dust and you're literally white and disheveled and sweaty and then take a korope back to where you parked your car at night. The wizards would have left the road by now.
-Then you retire to your room for a limb wars. I'll recommend kolaq alagbo services for maximum impact and gorontulas

Do these and come back to sow seed to me on your testimony. If she no get memorable experience after all these, my name no be Beggi. smiley smiley


Re: My Swiss Woman. by Anymoment: 11:38am On Jun 19, 2021
More tips peeps, see Gbege sef o, she thinks I’m a very good dancer because she said over there they think ALL blacks can dance, she’s really looking forward to seeing me dance for her but me I no Sabi dance at all, I can only move my head to rhythm. Wetin man go do now sef, can I learn a dance step within a week ?

2 Likes

Re: My Swiss Woman. by Lamanii22(f): 12:01pm On Jun 19, 2021
Please don't kill yourself cause you want to satisfy a woman... Reduce the drug enhancer intake... Don't die before your time...

15 Likes

Re: My Swiss Woman. by Xxx123xxx(m): 12:05pm On Jun 19, 2021
Anymoment:
More tips peeps, see Gbege sef o, she thinks I’m a very good dancer because she said over there they think ALL blacks can dance, she’s really looking forward to seeing me dance for her but me I no Sabi dance at all, I can only move my head to rhythm. Wetin man go do now sef, can I learn a dance step within a week ?
..Since most oyinbos no too sabi dance just learn how to whine waist to a couple of naija songs pole dancer style just to mesmerize her
Re: My Swiss Woman. by evil1: 12:15pm On Jun 19, 2021
Congratulations ooo

I'm on sex leave till maybe next year when I say I do.

Shaa don't kill yourself for woman oo

God forbid say man die untop woman

5 Likes

Re: My Swiss Woman. by Mrscarter(f): 12:47pm On Jun 19, 2021
MarketDispatch:
Get an Airbnb in Lekki phase 1.

Drink more water to flush toxins out of your system.

Buy plenty yoghurt and milk for replenishing energy ...

You don't need sex enhancement drugs. Just reduce or eliminate Carbohydrate foods (Eba, rice, fufu, etc) prior and during the period


Lastly, whatever you do, know you are representing the whole of Nigerian men grin

Lol
Re: My Swiss Woman. by Mrscarter(f): 12:50pm On Jun 19, 2021
Anymoment:
More tips peeps, see Gbege sef o, she thinks I’m a very good dancer because she said over there they think ALL blacks can dance, she’s really looking forward to seeing me dance for her but me I no Sabi dance at all, I can only move my head to rhythm. Wetin man go do now sef, can I learn a dance step within a week ?

Dont b nervous just be yourself. If she didnt already like you she wouldnt be flying all the way to naija to see you.
Lol u dnt need sex enhancements. Just b natural

3 Likes

Re: My Swiss Woman. by Anymoment: 1:03pm On Jun 19, 2021
Thank you very much, I will have a rethink of me sneaking in enhancers, please are you in Lagos, do you have any security tips for me or places we should visit ?
Lamanii22:
Please don't kill yourself cause you want to satisfy a woman... Reduce the drug enhancer intake... Don't die before your time...

1 Like

Re: My Swiss Woman. by Anymoment: 1:05pm On Jun 19, 2021
Thanks baba, that’s very true, do you know places we can visit ? In Lagos and what do you think about the security situation because I don’t want to risk persons life in naija
Mrscarter:


Dont b nervous just be yourself. If she didnt already like you she wouldnt be flying all the way to naija to see you.
Lol u dnt need sex enhancements. Just b natural
Re: My Swiss Woman. by Anymoment: 1:08pm On Jun 19, 2021
Any suggestions for movies? We would be cuddling and watching movies together, please what are good movies we should be seeing ? I have few ones in mind already though she already knows I’m not into movies but I still want to look like I’m in touch with time
Re: My Swiss Woman. by dederocs(m): 1:13pm On Jun 19, 2021
Oga you be jigalo??

No kill yourself, na poor man dey die for sex matter grin

Just kidding bruv, but avoid the sex enhancement, it has side effects in future.
Re: My Swiss Woman. by Anymoment: 1:20pm On Jun 19, 2021
Thanks man
dederocs:
Oga you be jigalo??

No kill yourself, na poor man dey die for sex matter grin

Just kidding bruv, but avoid the sex enhancement, it has side effects in future.
Re: My Swiss Woman. by Anymoment: 1:21pm On Jun 19, 2021
Any advise on security situation in Lagos ?
Re: My Swiss Woman. by RichBossman: 1:33pm On Jun 19, 2021
Anymoment:
Any suggestions for movies? We would be cuddling and watching movies together, please what are good movies we should be seeing ? I have few ones in mind already though she already knows I’m not into movies but I still want to look like I’m in touch with time
boss..I have been in your shoes...first thing that would happen to her is airport guys..they would try and trick her to convert her dollars to naira and just try to chop her..zenith atm they allow foreign atm card(my woman was from USA)..just that na only 30k per withdraw and 1k fee for each transaction..so tell her not to talk to any body in airport..she should keep money phone and little things in her personal bag..(I know say you done tell her to buy iPhone 13.. carry come.lol)..your second wahala na Uber..my woman was the one who downloaded the Uber app and na she dey call them..those guys saved her number and them dey gist her o..very rough guys na dey Lagos..they were sending text and telling her to leave me say I be small boy say them to handle her well..she was showing me the texts.. when we go bank ..bank securities just dey hail us..as she pass door go inside one of the elderly security guy call me..he say make I nor dull myself o..say make I go tie her sharply make I chop her well..they all hailed me..old man o..Nigeria na very anyhow place..then hotel..mine was priskens hotel..normally hotel fee they join flight money..if she hasn’t book down just get any gated hotel around ikeja or the airport side..make sure it’s a room and parlor hotel o..make parlor dey then room inside one..never leave her alone oo..boys go snatch her..don’t use a lot of Uber( use only one or if you can drive hire car)..don’t tell anybody here hotel you go use..buy condom and just buy weed..carry her enter ikeja mall the evening she go come..just go mall buy food and water..then back to hotel(nor too waka first day) ask her about journey and how amazed you here she came.she go just dey smile..then find bakery..then like baked bread and all those things..also take her to fela shrine...look her in her eyes when you see her..hug and kiss her forehead and then hug her some more..they are usually very short in person..so you suppose tall and big pass her..be bold..once in a while shout for hotel attendant and Uber drivers..them dey fućkup welwel so opportunity go always they to scold them.nor go over do all sha..just once in a while make she see your masculinity and know say you fit protect her..if you Dey shame welwel abeg buy shade o..because Nigerians go use eye look you then judge you oo..very anyhow people na dey that Lagos..just get weed dealer..mine smoked weed and she was 62 then..lastly bros..if you get ring already abeg propose to her ooo..after like 1 week go on your kneels for hotel and just propose to her..my ring when I carry go that year na wash wash..lol..diamond(FAKE) was around it when I first buy am..e dey shine when I give her she happy very well..she adores the ring..but as she travel back she start to complain say the diamonds they fall off o..lol..she na just metal I give her..lol..normally you go say Nigeria na carats place say them dupe you(them go they find real diamond hiss)

10 Likes

Re: My Swiss Woman. by dederocs(m): 1:39pm On Jun 19, 2021
Anymoment:
Thanks man
All the best, stay safe with your baby.
Re: My Swiss Woman. by Qasimak1: 1:50pm On Jun 19, 2021
Another batch of PENIS ENLARGEMENT, making it STRONGER, BIGGER and LONG LASTING in bed without side effects, it was tested and confirm to work actively.
Price range from #10k to #4k
No more excuse for you on top of your lady
Re: My Swiss Woman. by Feelinso(m): 2:15pm On Jun 19, 2021
Rent an apartment for 2weeks at Ikeja GRA
Gods touch Apartment preferably,
Do a dinner at Radisson blu hotel
ICM u most go
Suya joint
You guys should cook and do everything together
Buy a new phone n new sim because na this time ut village people go wan Bleep u up
nobody should know she is around until the day she is leaving at the Airport
don't post any pics online
Movies to watch via Netflix
Friends with benefits
wedding party 1n2
namaste wahala
Fifty shades 1to 5
365 days
add urs to the list

4 Likes

Re: My Swiss Woman. by peppermint7(m): 2:20pm On Jun 19, 2021
MarketDispatch:
Get an Airbnb in Lekki phase 1.

Drink more water to flush toxins out of your system.

Buy plenty yoghurt and milk for replenishing energy ...

You don't need sex enhancement drugs. Just reduce or eliminate Carbohydrate foods (Eba, rice, fufu, etc) prior and during the period


Lastly, whatever you do, know you are representing the whole of Nigerian men grin
Make e no go disgrace all of us
Re: My Swiss Woman. by meobizy(f): 4:31pm On Jun 19, 2021
I have been in an online romantics relationship for the past two years with a Swiss lady, after trying to come to naija for about one year now she will be in naija in two weeks time.
This is word for word a story I’ve read five times in this forum since 2013. Let those who have time advice you. I call fake on this.
Re: My Swiss Woman. by Nobody: 4:50pm On Jun 19, 2021
RichBossman:
boss..I have been in your shoes...first thing that would happen to her is airport guys..they would try and trick her to convert her dollars to naira and just try to chop her..zenith atm they allow foreign atm card(my woman was from USA)..just that na only 30k per withdraw and 1k fee for each transaction..so tell her not to talk to any body in airport..she should keep money phone and little things in her personal bag..(I know say you done tell her to buy iPhone 13.. carry come.lol)..your second wahala na Uber..my woman was the one who downloaded the Uber app and na she dey call them..those guys saved her number and them dey gist her o..very rough guys na dey Lagos..they were sending text and telling her to leave me say I be small boy say them to handle her well..she was showing me the texts.. when we go bank ..bank securities just dey hail us..as she pass door go inside one of the elderly security guy call me..he say make I nor dull myself o..say make I go tie her sharply make I chop her well..they all hailed me..old man o..Nigeria na very anyhow place..then hotel..mine was priskens hotel..normally hotel fee they join flight money..if she hasn’t book down just get any gated hotel around ikeja or the airport side..make sure it’s a room and parlor hotel o..make parlor dey then room inside one..never leave her alone oo..boys go snatch her..don’t use a lot of Uber( use only one or if you can drive hire car)..don’t tell anybody here hotel you go use..buy condom and just buy weed..carry her enter ikeja mall the evening she go come..just go mall buy food and water..then back to hotel(nor too waka first day) ask her about journey and how amazed you here she came.she go just dey smile..then find bakery..then like baked bread and all those things..also take her to fela shrine...look her in her eyes when you see her..hug and kiss her forehead and then hug her some more..they are usually very short in person..so you suppose tall and big pass her..be bold..once in a while shout for hotel attendant and Uber drivers..them dey fućkup welwel so opportunity go always they to scold them.nor go over do all sha..just once in a while make she see your masculinity and know say you fit protect her..if you Dey shame welwel abeg buy shade o..because Nigerians go use eye look you then judge you oo..very anyhow people na dey that Lagos..just get weed dealer..mine smoked weed and she was 62 then..lastly bros..if you get ring already abeg propose to her ooo..after like 1 week go on your kneels for hotel and just propose to her..my ring when I carry go that year na wash wash..lol..diamond(FAKE) was around it when I first buy am..e dey shine when I give her she happy very well..she adores the ring..but as she travel back she start to complain say the diamonds they fall off o..lol..she na just metal I give her..lol..normally you go say Nigeria na carats place say them dupe you(them go they find real diamond hiss)
Una be experts for this game o.

OP, better collect this well detailed advice. grin

2 Likes

Re: My Swiss Woman. by Mohzus: 5:32pm On Jun 19, 2021
MarketDispatch:



Lastly, whatever you do, know you are representing the whole of Nigerian men grin

Oboy , please don't forget this
Re: My Swiss Woman. by Anymoment: 7:41pm On Jun 19, 2021
RichBossman:
boss..I have been in your shoes...first thing that would happen to her is airport guys..they would try and trick her to convert her dollars to naira and just try to chop her..zenith atm they allow foreign atm card(my woman was from USA)..just that na only 30k per withdraw and 1k fee for each transaction..so tell her not to talk to any body in airport..she should keep money phone and little things in her personal bag..(I know say you done tell her to buy iPhone 13.. carry come.lol)..your second wahala na Uber..my woman was the one who downloaded the Uber app and na she dey call them..those guys saved her number and them dey gist her o..very rough guys na dey Lagos..they were sending text and telling her to leave me say I be small boy say them to handle her well..she was showing me the texts.. when we go bank ..bank securities just dey hail us..as she pass door go inside one of the elderly security guy call me..he say make I nor dull myself o..say make I go tie her sharply make I chop her well..they all hailed me..old man o..Nigeria na very anyhow place..then hotel..mine was priskens hotel..normally hotel fee they join flight money..if she hasn’t book down just get any gated hotel around ikeja or the airport side..make sure it’s a room and parlor hotel o..make parlor dey then room inside one..never leave her alone oo..boys go snatch her..don’t use a lot of Uber( use only one or if you can drive hire car)..don’t tell anybody here hotel you go use..buy condom and just buy weed..carry her enter ikeja mall the evening she go come..just go mall buy food and water..then back to hotel(nor too waka first day) ask her about journey and how amazed you here she came.she go just dey smile..then find bakery..then like baked bread and all those things..also take her to fela shrine...look her in her eyes when you see her..hug and kiss her forehead and then hug her some more..they are usually very short in person..so you suppose tall and big pass her..be bold..once in a while shout for hotel attendant and Uber drivers..them dey fućkup welwel so opportunity go always they to scold them.nor go over do all sha..just once in a while make she see your masculinity and know say you fit protect her..if you Dey shame welwel abeg buy shade o..because Nigerians go use eye look you then judge you oo..very anyhow people na dey that Lagos..just get weed dealer..mine smoked weed and she was 62 then..lastly bros..if you get ring already abeg propose to her ooo..after like 1 week go on your kneels for hotel and just propose to her..my ring when I carry go that year na wash wash..lol..diamond(FAKE) was around it when I first buy am..e dey shine when I give her she happy very well..she adores the ring..but as she travel back she start to complain say the diamonds they fall off o..lol..she na just metal I give her..lol..normally you go say Nigeria na carats place say them dupe you(them go they find real diamond hiss)
chai, baba you finish me, I swear if you no contest for president I no go vote for UAR again till I get old papa hair. When she is coming I intend telling her to send the money she will need at the airport to me so I can use my card at her arrival and even possibly during all her stay here, to make transactions more easier, I was even thinking Uber will be safer because it’s almost impossible to use same cab multiple times, boss do you think it’s better to tell my friend that drives to pick us up at the airport and be our personal driver for the time she will Be around, dude is a day one but I don’t really know how trusted he can be now given how many times I have been betrayed by close ones, do you think I involve him ? And baba is it ok I invite one or two of my guys to say hi to her one of this days ? Is Lagos safe enough to walk with her on evenings? I am mostly really concerned about her security, because I have had a not nice experience on the street on Lagos for just few nights I spent there, it was a terrible experience sha. I am more free when I’m outside Nigeria than in Lagos and even Abj kpakpa, thanks man, I go Dey give you steady update
Re: My Swiss Woman. by Anymoment: 7:47pm On Jun 19, 2021
Boss, these things happens everyday, men are arriving people from around the world everyday, for most people its always their first time so it’s normal people will come here to seek knowledge, Shey you see am? I have been outside Nigeria many times but this is the first time I am arriving someone, a Caucasian for that matter it’s normal I seek for knowledge from experienced people. No be say I owe you explanation oh but so that you sef go learn.
meobizy:

This is word for word a story I’ve read five times in this forum since 2013. Let those who have time advice you. I call fake on this.
Re: My Swiss Woman. by Anymoment: 7:48pm On Jun 19, 2021
I DON’T want it on front page o.
Re: My Swiss Woman. by Anymoment: 7:50pm On Jun 19, 2021
Thanks very much, she has watched most of these films sef, she’s very into naija. Thanks you very much, I will check this namaste wahala, how safe are these apartments sir?i am mostly concerned about her safety .
Feelinso:
Rent an apartment for 2weeks at Ikeja GRA
Gods touch Apartment preferably,
Do a dinner at Radisson blu hotel
ICM u most go
Suya joint
You guys should cook and do everything together
Buy a new phone n new sim because na this time ut village people go wan Bleep u up
nobody should know she is around until the day she is leaving at the Airport
don't post any pics online
Movies to watch via Netflix
Friends with benefits
wedding party 1n2
namaste wahala
Fifty shades 1to 5
365 days
add urs to the list



Re: My Swiss Woman. by Babara1994(m): 7:58pm On Jun 19, 2021
RichBossman:
boss..I have been in your shoes...first thing that would happen to her is airport guys..they would try and trick her to convert her dollars to naira and just try to chop her..zenith atm they allow foreign atm card(my woman was from USA)..just that na only 30k per withdraw and 1k fee for each transaction..so tell her not to talk to any body in airport..she should keep money phone and little things in her personal bag..(I know say you done tell her to buy iPhone 13.. carry come.lol)..your second wahala na Uber..my woman was the one who downloaded the Uber app and na she dey call them..those guys saved her number and them dey gist her o..very rough guys na dey Lagos..they were sending text and telling her to leave me say I be small boy say them to handle her well..she was showing me the texts.. when we go bank ..bank securities just dey hail us..as she pass door go inside one of the elderly security guy call me..he say make I nor dull myself o..say make I go tie her sharply make I chop her well..they all hailed me..old man o..Nigeria na very anyhow place..then hotel..mine was priskens hotel..normally hotel fee they join flight money..if she hasn’t book down just get any gated hotel around ikeja or the airport side..make sure it’s a room and parlor hotel o..make parlor dey then room inside one..never leave her alone oo..boys go snatch her..don’t use a lot of Uber( use only one or if you can drive hire car)..don’t tell anybody here hotel you go use..buy condom and just buy weed..carry her enter ikeja mall the evening she go come..just go mall buy food and water..then back to hotel(nor too waka first day) ask her about journey and how amazed you here she came.she go just dey smile..then find bakery..then like baked bread and all those things..also take her to fela shrine...look her in her eyes when you see her..hug and kiss her forehead and then hug her some more..they are usually very short in person..so you suppose tall and big pass her..be bold..once in a while shout for hotel attendant and Uber drivers..them dey fućkup welwel so opportunity go always they to scold them.nor go over do all sha..just once in a while make she see your masculinity and know say you fit protect her..if you Dey shame welwel abeg buy shade o..because Nigerians go use eye look you then judge you oo..very anyhow people na dey that Lagos..just get weed dealer..mine smoked weed and she was 62 then..lastly bros..if you get ring already abeg propose to her ooo..after like 1 week go on your kneels for hotel and just propose to her..my ring when I carry go that year na wash wash..lol..diamond(FAKE) was around it when I first buy am..e dey shine when I give her she happy very well..she adores the ring..but as she travel back she start to complain say the diamonds they fall off o..lol..she na just metal I give her..lol..normally you go say Nigeria na carats place say them dupe you(them go they find real diamond hiss)
How much she send you?

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