₦airaland Forum

Juliusmomoh:
You only had sex with her once. And the next she did was telling u that she's pregnant after several weeks... Is anyone thinking what am thing?



No mind am.. The guy get mind Bleep for theologian school.

Sleyk:
You didn't keep to your promise...
this story is LONG and not short.

Priceless007:
Hello Nairalanders,

It's a long story, but I'll try to keep it short and to the vital points. Please endure the length.

There's a girl i met at a theological college in where I was studying to become a clergyman and also learning a skill under the civil engineering department of the college. She was my junior in the course, as I was a year away from graduating from my first course, while she was just a fresher. She was always having issues getting through her courses and projects and would always ask for my assistance since I was the course rep in that department. It was forbidden to have any intimate relationship with your course mate or anyone in the college for that matter, the penalty would be expulsion. But unfortunately for me, out of sheer lust and seduction on her part, and gross indiscipline and lack of self control on my part, I got intimate with her and we ended up committing fornication during one of our semester vacations. And it just happened once, of which out of deep regret and remorse I confessed the matter to the college Admin when the next semester resumed. We were panelled, after which I was suspended, while she was expelled.

During this time I was learning a skill sponsored by the college, of which I use to get paid some weekly stipend. After I was suspended I was also stopped from continuing my apprenticeship, because I was not to associate with any of the students or lecturers in the school while my suspension lasted. So I was without a job and without a source of income since I wasn't yet mastered on the skill. The condition that was given to me to resume my studies and apprenticeship was that I should go and get married before I could come back to college, so as not to be tempted to repeat my error. But I wasn't ready for marriage whether financially or any other wise for that matter. So while I was contemplating my next move, this girl came to me that she was pregnant, that she needed us to go and see her parents. I told her I had no money neither was I ready to father a child at this point in my life. I pleaded she should give me time to think about what next to do. Two weeks passed, and I called her to enquire about her welfare but her number wasn't reachable, I decided to go to her place, but I was told she had travelled a week ago to go see her family. A week later, I received a call from a woman telling me she was the girl's mother, that her daughter came home with a pregnancy, and she asked me if I was responsible for the pregnancy, I answered her in the affirmative. She then asked when I was coming to see her family. I told her I wasn't sure about coming to see them that I needed to speak to the girl first. She said okay, then later that day the girl called me, and I told her to come back for us to talk deliberate on the way forward. When she came she told me her parents (who are by the way divorced) will not accept her nor the pregnancy without me coming to see them for marriage arrangements.

I explained to her I wasn't ready for any such thing, that I have a calling to answer and a course to finish, that what happened between us was just a stupid and careless mistake that has been as a setback for me to achieve my goal, and that I was ready to overcome the trials and get back on track, and I explained to her that before then I had neither dated nor been intimate with anyone for over seven years, and so any kind of relationship or marriage was not even in my nearest future plans, and besides, I didn't even have a job, not to mention having enough money to embark on a marriage plan. She said she would never accept such excuse, that I should look for whatever means to make sure I come see her parents before her pregnancy becomes obvious. She also said that she needed money to move her belongings back to Imo state where her family resides. I agreed to raise some money for her. I went to do some menial jobs and raised some money, about ₦20k, which I gave to her and she traveled back to Owerri. From then on her parents kept calling and pressuring me to come and see them for marriage arrangements. I told them I was going to come, but just to introduce myself to them as the person responsible for their daughter's pregnancy not for any marriage arrangements. But they disagreed, that if I wasn't ready to come for marriage that I shouldn't bother coming. I pleaded with them to give me enough time to look for money to come and see them, but they instead started threatening me with court cases and arrests, at one time they brought the girl and some soldiers to my family house and harassed my family members including my mother.

So I later traveled to Benin city to go look for money. After one week of my arrival in Benin, I lost my phone and I couldn't retrieve my number. I lost connection with them until I got back to Uyo where I got her phone number from a friend of hers. At this time, I was told that they came to my house several times with police officers claiming I raped their daughter and impregnated her then absconded. At this, I established contact with the girl again and she told me that I should not bother her that she wasn't in the mood to talk to me, I kept calling her but she often ended up abusing me or we often times ended up in quarrels, so I left her alone for sometime.

Two weeks ago I related the matter to one of my distant uncles, who advised me to gather some money and go see her, I called her and told her I wanted to come and see her before she puts to bed, which is expected to be sometime next month (August). But she told me that she still stands by what her parents had said, if it's not for the marriage issue that I should not come, that I should rather send her the money I would use in coming so she can use it to buy the baby clothing and buy some hospital requirements before she puts to bed. I called her parents and they told me the same thing, and said if I don't come for the marriage agreement before she puts to bed, that after she's delivered of the baby I should forget ever coming, and should never mention that I have a child anywhere not to mention coming to claim it ever in the future. And that I should just forget about her and the child.

The issue now is this, I am a bit frustrated because I seem to have lost everything at the moment because of this issue; my calling, the skill I was learning is gone, I have no job aside the menial jobs I do at construction sites which isn't available regularly. Now the little I have saved so far, I am contemplating on whether to use the money to pay for my skills training and continue with it and start my life afresh and forget about her, the child, and her parents, or use the money to support her in her hospital requirements for her delivery. Because I don't want to be seen as abandoning her when she is in this condition, and I also don't want to give up on the child, though I'm not capable of taking care of the girl and the baby right now, and probably, I might end up getting married but not under my present circumstances. I know I've made a grave mistake and this is the consequences for not being true to myself and my calling, and I deeply regret it, and I've suffered for it in any way I can possibly imagine, but I also need to put my life back in order, because right now I'm so devastated that I'm contemplating terrible alternatives to survive the storm, I'm at a very critical moment of my life and I just feel like giving up on life altogether. Please I need your help and advice on this issue. Thanks.

PS. Please if anyone is willing to teach me any skill, I would be very grateful and willing to learn.

CharisEleos:
Hm see how devil just used 5mins madness to destroy your peace and career...
Like why can't you people just be like Joseph in terms of self discipline...

Even the girl. Your parents sent you to school and the very first year, you're already sleeping with a man. Without protection for that matter..

If she's someone that has sense, should sex be the first thing she should go and be pursuing immediately she got to school or her career? SMH..

You see, that time you were about to engage in the act was when you should have done what youre doing here now. That is, reason and ask yourself some of the questions you're now posing to us. It is then you should have reasoned you didn't have a job yet and not ready to father a child or get married.

The bible that says flee every appearance of evil is correct after all.

You better go and see the family because the didn't force their daughter on you in the first place. So, now you don buy market, go and carry your goods.

Everytime Sex sex sex.. sex that doesn't give you a happy ending, is that one sex?

When I tell people I've been celibate for many years, they think it's because I'm trying to form super girl. It's because of all these nonsense super story that you men come up with once there's any little mistake plus the fact that my body is the temple of Holy Spirit and not for any coconut head man who's just looking for anywhere to ease himself.
Mtcheeeeewwwwwww.

CharisEleos:
Hm see how devil just used 5mins madness to destroy your peace and career...
Like why can't you people just be like Joseph in terms of self discipline...

Even the girl. Your parents sent you to school and the very first year, you're already sleeping with a man. Without protection for that matter..

If she's someone that has sense, should sex be the first thing she should go and be pursuing immediately she got to school or her career? SMH..

You see, that time you were about to engage in the act was when you should have done what youre doing here now. That is, reason and ask yourself some of the questions you're now posing to us. It is then you should have reasoned you didn't have a job yet and not ready to father a child or get married.

The bible that says flee every appearance of evil is correct after all.

You better go and see the family because the didn't force their daughter on you in the first place. So, now you don buy market, go and carry your goods.

Everytime Sex sex sex.. sex that doesn't give you a happy ending, is that one sex?

When I tell people I've been celibate for many years, they think it's because I'm trying to form super girl. It's because of all these nonsense super story that you men come up with once there's any little mistake plus the fact that my body is the temple of Holy Spirit and not for any coconut head man who's just looking for anywhere to ease himself.
Mtcheeeeewwwwwww.

AuroraB:
Mr Badluck
I blame the 'coconut headed girl'
See downward spiral for her since she crossed paths with you
Which kain parents be this wey wan tie their daughter in marriage to an uncle Toby

mrblessed:
A lot of people who claim to have never had sex without protection are sanctimoniously throwing shade at the op and his baby mammy. What pains me the most is that multiple abortionists are castigating the lady because she refused to become murderers like them. Bloody hypocrites!

Kingpin1000:
When you were bending her, did you call us?
When she was screaming harder harder did you tell us?
When you decided to go unprotected and release your condense milk inside her honey pot, were you expecting a car or plama TV as the end the end product?
Oga this your shalaye too long, carry your alone cross to your golgotha.

rosalieene:
I really don't understand the advice you seek.
Do you want us to tell you that the pregnancy should be aborted?
Or you want us to put the blame on her?
What exactly?

Juliusmomoh:
You only had sex with her once. And the next she did was telling u that she's pregnant after several weeks... Is anyone thinking what am thing?

I thought same thing too.
(1) Why are the parents so insistent on him marrying the girl?
(2) How come the girl was so quick to tell her mother?(normal girl when I know can't be so bold,except its a plan)
(3) After the Guy's pleas of his financial incapabilities, they're still insistent on marriage? What are the not tell him?
Poster make an attempt to see them with an elder or 2 from your family,if they refuse u audience, lock up and face your life,then continually reach out to the girl from afar, if truly the child is yours, he or she will definitely search for the father.

No mind am.. The guy get mind Bleep for theologian school.

CharisEleos:
So how has my hissing to the OPs predicament become a criteria to judge my Christian faith? Or does he deserve a pat on the back for destroying a young girls career the poor parents suffered to send to school, bringing shame on them? And did you not see where I advised him to go and do the needful?

I'm not surprised you're holding brief for him.

Continue.

mrblessed:
How are you sure that the pregnancy belongs to you, considering what you have narrated? Come on, it is possible it isn't yours, and she has cleverly pinned it on you knowing you are a bit naive about relationship in particular and women in general.

Even after you accepted the pregnancy without due diligence, why didn't you visit the family and ignore the talk of marriage that was their term of reference? No reputable family would be happy to see their daughter put in a family by a man who seemed distance, disrespectful, and "irresponsible." So I will urge to go see the family and explain your financial situation to them, especially now she is weeks away from giving birth. You didn't commit murder!

My take on this issue, going by your disposition, is that you don't really love this lady enough to marry her. The claim of not having money now is a mere subterfuge. In any case, her family wants you to show commitment, make a promise that you are going to accept her as your wife. I would advice you make such pronouncement without much ado, because it will be beneficial to your career progress.

mrblessed:
How are you sure that the pregnancy belongs to you, considering what you have narrated? Come on, it is possible it isn't yours, and she has cleverly pinned it on you knowing you are a bit naive about relationship in particular and women in general.

Even after you accepted the pregnancy without due diligence, why didn't you visit the family and ignore the talk of marriage that was their term of reference? No reputable family would be happy to see their daughter put in a family by a man who seemed distance, disrespectful, and "irresponsible." So I will urge to go see the family and explain your financial situation to them, especially now she is weeks away from giving birth. You didn't commit murder!

My take on this issue, going by your disposition, is that you don't really love this lady enough to marry her. The claim of not having money now is a mere subterfuge. In any case, her family wants you to show commitment, make a promise that you are going to accept her as your wife. I would advice you make such pronouncement without much ado, because it will be beneficial to your career progress.

halogate:
Pls kindly enlighten us as to how the op has destroyed the "young" girl's career?. Did he ever mention that he forced or raped her?. Or did you not read where the op mentioned what he has lost as well. They both agreed to have consensual sex without protection.. let the blame be shared equally.
Let us learn to judge matters devoid of sentiments.
I assume you wont be accusing the Op of "destroying her career" if he said he would be sponsoring to school.
What has happened has happened.. none is less guilty that the other.

ImaIma1:
See all the serious wahala only few minutes of pleasure has caused you. You said you have a calling to answer. Yet you did not answer that calling when you both were having sex?

Are you sure you should be a pastor? Because you are not even done with your training and you have already impregnated someone that was looking up to you. What will happen when you have a church full of women looking up to you?

I think this was a test for you.

Priceless007:
Hello Nairalanders,

It's a long story, but I'll try to keep it short and to the vital points. Please endure the length.

There's a girl i met at a theological college in where I was studying to become a clergyman and also learning a skill under the civil engineering department of the college. She was my junior in the course, as I was a year away from graduating from my first course, while she was just a fresher. She was always having issues getting through her courses and projects and would always ask for my assistance since I was the course rep in that department. It was forbidden to have any intimate relationship with your course mate or anyone in the college for that matter, the penalty would be expulsion. But unfortunately for me, out of sheer lust and seduction on her part, and gross indiscipline and lack of self control on my part, I got intimate with her and we ended up committing fornication during one of our semester vacations. And it just happened once, of which out of deep regret and remorse I confessed the matter to the college Admin when the next semester resumed. We were panelled, after which I was suspended, while she was expelled.

During this time I was learning a skill sponsored by the college, of which I use to get paid some weekly stipend. After I was suspended I was also stopped from continuing my apprenticeship, because I was not to associate with any of the students or lecturers in the school while my suspension lasted. So I was without a job and without a source of income since I wasn't yet mastered on the skill. The condition that was given to me to resume my studies and apprenticeship was that I should go and get married before I could come back to college, so as not to be tempted to repeat my error. But I wasn't ready for marriage whether financially or any other wise for that matter. So while I was contemplating my next move, this girl came to me that she was pregnant, that she needed us to go and see her parents. I told her I had no money neither was I ready to father a child at this point in my life. I pleaded she should give me time to think about what next to do. Two weeks passed, and I called her to enquire about her welfare but her number wasn't reachable, I decided to go to her place, but I was told she had travelled a week ago to go see her family. A week later, I received a call from a woman telling me she was the girl's mother, that her daughter came home with a pregnancy, and she asked me if I was responsible for the pregnancy, I answered her in the affirmative. She then asked when I was coming to see her family. I told her I wasn't sure about coming to see them that I needed to speak to the girl first. She said okay, then later that day the girl called me, and I told her to come back for us to talk deliberate on the way forward. When she came she told me her parents (who are by the way divorced) will not accept her nor the pregnancy without me coming to see them for marriage arrangements.

I explained to her I wasn't ready for any such thing, that I have a calling to answer and a course to finish, that what happened between us was just a stupid and careless mistake that has been as a setback for me to achieve my goal, and that I was ready to overcome the trials and get back on track, and I explained to her that before then I had neither dated nor been intimate with anyone for over seven years, and so any kind of relationship or marriage was not even in my nearest future plans, and besides, I didn't even have a job, not to mention having enough money to embark on a marriage plan. She said she would never accept such excuse, that I should look for whatever means to make sure I come see her parents before her pregnancy becomes obvious. She also said that she needed money to move her belongings back to Imo state where her family resides. I agreed to raise some money for her. I went to do some menial jobs and raised some money, about ₦20k, which I gave to her and she traveled back to Owerri. From then on her parents kept calling and pressuring me to come and see them for marriage arrangements. I told them I was going to come, but just to introduce myself to them as the person responsible for their daughter's pregnancy not for any marriage arrangements. But they disagreed, that if I wasn't ready to come for marriage that I shouldn't bother coming. I pleaded with them to give me enough time to look for money to come and see them, but they instead started threatening me with court cases and arrests, at one time they brought the girl and some soldiers to my family house and harassed my family members including my mother.

So I later traveled to Benin city to go look for money. After one week of my arrival in Benin, I lost my phone and I couldn't retrieve my number. I lost connection with them until I got back to Uyo where I got her phone number from a friend of hers. At this time, I was told that they came to my house several times with police officers claiming I raped their daughter and impregnated her then absconded. At this, I established contact with the girl again and she told me that I should not bother her that she wasn't in the mood to talk to me, I kept calling her but she often ended up abusing me or we often times ended up in quarrels, so I left her alone for sometime.

Two weeks ago I related the matter to one of my distant uncles, who advised me to gather some money and go see her, I called her and told her I wanted to come and see her before she puts to bed, which is expected to be sometime next month (August). But she told me that she still stands by what her parents had said, if it's not for the marriage issue that I should not come, that I should rather send her the money I would use in coming so she can use it to buy the baby clothing and buy some hospital requirements before she puts to bed. I called her parents and they told me the same thing, and said if I don't come for the marriage agreement before she puts to bed, that after she's delivered of the baby I should forget ever coming, and should never mention that I have a child anywhere not to mention coming to claim it ever in the future. And that I should just forget about her and the child.

The issue now is this, I am a bit frustrated because I seem to have lost everything at the moment because of this issue; my calling, the skill I was learning is gone, I have no job aside the menial jobs I do at construction sites which isn't available regularly. Now the little I have saved so far, I am contemplating on whether to use the money to pay for my skills training and continue with it and start my life afresh and forget about her, the child, and her parents, or use the money to support her in her hospital requirements for her delivery. Because I don't want to be seen as abandoning her when she is in this condition, and I also don't want to give up on the child, though I'm not capable of taking care of the girl and the baby right now, and probably, I might end up getting married but not under my present circumstances. I know I've made a grave mistake and this is the consequences for not being true to myself and my calling, and I deeply regret it, and I've suffered for it in any way I can possibly imagine, but I also need to put my life back in order, because right now I'm so devastated that I'm contemplating terrible alternatives to survive the storm, I'm at a very critical moment of my life and I just feel like giving up on life altogether. Please I need your help and advice on this issue. Thanks.

PS. Please if anyone is willing to teach me any skill, I would be very grateful and willing to learn.

Priceless007:
Hello Nairalanders,

It's a long story, but I'll try to keep it short and to the vital points. Please endure the length.

There's a girl i met at a theological college in where I was studying to become a clergyman and also learning a skill under the civil engineering department of the college. She was my junior in the course, as I was a year away from graduating from my first course, while she was just a fresher. She was always having issues getting through her courses and projects and would always ask for my assistance since I was the course rep in that department. It was forbidden to have any intimate relationship with your course mate or anyone in the college for that matter, the penalty would be expulsion. But unfortunately for me, out of sheer lust and seduction on her part, and gross indiscipline and lack of self control on my part, I got intimate with her and we ended up committing fornication during one of our semester vacations. And it just happened once, of which out of deep regret and remorse I confessed the matter to the college Admin when the next semester resumed. We were panelled, after which I was suspended, while she was expelled.

During this time I was learning a skill sponsored by the college, of which I use to get paid some weekly stipend. After I was suspended I was also stopped from continuing my apprenticeship, because I was not to associate with any of the students or lecturers in the school while my suspension lasted. So I was without a job and without a source of income since I wasn't yet mastered on the skill. The condition that was given to me to resume my studies and apprenticeship was that I should go and get married before I could come back to college, so as not to be tempted to repeat my error. But I wasn't ready for marriage whether financially or any other wise for that matter. So while I was contemplating my next move, this girl came to me that she was pregnant, that she needed us to go and see her parents. I told her I had no money neither was I ready to father a child at this point in my life. I pleaded she should give me time to think about what next to do. Two weeks passed, and I called her to enquire about her welfare but her number wasn't reachable, I decided to go to her place, but I was told she had travelled a week ago to go see her family. A week later, I received a call from a woman telling me she was the girl's mother, that her daughter came home with a pregnancy, and she asked me if I was responsible for the pregnancy, I answered her in the affirmative. She then asked when I was coming to see her family. I told her I wasn't sure about coming to see them that I needed to speak to the girl first. She said okay, then later that day the girl called me, and I told her to come back for us to talk deliberate on the way forward. When she came she told me her parents (who are by the way divorced) will not accept her nor the pregnancy without me coming to see them for marriage arrangements.

I explained to her I wasn't ready for any such thing, that I have a calling to answer and a course to finish, that what happened between us was just a stupid and careless mistake that has been as a setback for me to achieve my goal, and that I was ready to overcome the trials and get back on track, and I explained to her that before then I had neither dated nor been intimate with anyone for over seven years, and so any kind of relationship or marriage was not even in my nearest future plans, and besides, I didn't even have a job, not to mention having enough money to embark on a marriage plan. She said she would never accept such excuse, that I should look for whatever means to make sure I come see her parents before her pregnancy becomes obvious. She also said that she needed money to move her belongings back to Imo state where her family resides. I agreed to raise some money for her. I went to do some menial jobs and raised some money, about ₦20k, which I gave to her and she traveled back to Owerri. From then on her parents kept calling and pressuring me to come and see them for marriage arrangements. I told them I was going to come, but just to introduce myself to them as the person responsible for their daughter's pregnancy not for any marriage arrangements. But they disagreed, that if I wasn't ready to come for marriage that I shouldn't bother coming. I pleaded with them to give me enough time to look for money to come and see them, but they instead started threatening me with court cases and arrests, at one time they brought the girl and some soldiers to my family house and harassed my family members including my mother.

So I later traveled to Benin city to go look for money. After one week of my arrival in Benin, I lost my phone and I couldn't retrieve my number. I lost connection with them until I got back to Uyo where I got her phone number from a friend of hers. At this time, I was told that they came to my house several times with police officers claiming I raped their daughter and impregnated her then absconded. At this, I established contact with the girl again and she told me that I should not bother her that she wasn't in the mood to talk to me, I kept calling her but she often ended up abusing me or we often times ended up in quarrels, so I left her alone for sometime.

Two weeks ago I related the matter to one of my distant uncles, who advised me to gather some money and go see her, I called her and told her I wanted to come and see her before she puts to bed, which is expected to be sometime next month (August). But she told me that she still stands by what her parents had said, if it's not for the marriage issue that I should not come, that I should rather send her the money I would use in coming so she can use it to buy the baby clothing and buy some hospital requirements before she puts to bed. I called her parents and they told me the same thing, and said if I don't come for the marriage agreement before she puts to bed, that after she's delivered of the baby I should forget ever coming, and should never mention that I have a child anywhere not to mention coming to claim it ever in the future. And that I should just forget about her and the child.

The issue now is this, I am a bit frustrated because I seem to have lost everything at the moment because of this issue; my calling, the skill I was learning is gone, I have no job aside the menial jobs I do at construction sites which isn't available regularly. Now the little I have saved so far, I am contemplating on whether to use the money to pay for my skills training and continue with it and start my life afresh and forget about her, the child, and her parents, or use the money to support her in her hospital requirements for her delivery. Because I don't want to be seen as abandoning her when she is in this condition, and I also don't want to give up on the child, though I'm not capable of taking care of the girl and the baby right now, and probably, I might end up getting married but not under my present circumstances. I know I've made a grave mistake and this is the consequences for not being true to myself and my calling, and I deeply regret it, and I've suffered for it in any way I can possibly imagine, but I also need to put my life back in order, because right now I'm so devastated that I'm contemplating terrible alternatives to survive the storm, I'm at a very critical moment of my life and I just feel like giving up on life altogether. Please I need your help and advice on this issue. Thanks.

PS. Please if anyone is willing to teach me any skill, I would be very grateful and willing to learn.

mrblessed:
A lot of people who claim to have never had sex without protection are sanctimoniously throwing shade at the op and his baby mammy. What pains me the most is that multiple abortionists are castigating the lady because she refused to become murderers like them. Bloody hypocrites!

Priceless007:
Hello Nairalanders,

It's a long story, but I'll try to keep it short and to the vital points. Please endure the length.

There's a girl i met at a theological college in where I was studying to become a clergyman and also learning a skill under the civil engineering department of the college. She was my junior in the course, as I was a year away from graduating from my first course, while she was just a fresher. She was always having issues getting through her courses and projects and would always ask for my assistance since I was the course rep in that department. It was forbidden to have any intimate relationship with your course mate or anyone in the college for that matter, the penalty would be expulsion. But unfortunately for me, out of sheer lust and seduction on her part, and gross indiscipline and lack of self control on my part, I got intimate with her and we ended up committing fornication during one of our semester vacations. And it just happened once, of which out of deep regret and remorse I confessed the matter to the college Admin when the next semester resumed. We were panelled, after which I was suspended, while she was expelled.

During this time I was learning a skill sponsored by the college, of which I use to get paid some weekly stipend. After I was suspended I was also stopped from continuing my apprenticeship, because I was not to associate with any of the students or lecturers in the school while my suspension lasted. So I was without a job and without a source of income since I wasn't yet mastered on the skill. The condition that was given to me to resume my studies and apprenticeship was that I should go and get married before I could come back to college, so as not to be tempted to repeat my error. But I wasn't ready for marriage whether financially or any other wise for that matter. So while I was contemplating my next move, this girl came to me that she was pregnant, that she needed us to go and see her parents. I told her I had no money neither was I ready to father a child at this point in my life. I pleaded she should give me time to think about what next to do. Two weeks passed, and I called her to enquire about her welfare but her number wasn't reachable, I decided to go to her place, but I was told she had travelled a week ago to go see her family. A week later, I received a call from a woman telling me she was the girl's mother, that her daughter came home with a pregnancy, and she asked me if I was responsible for the pregnancy, I answered her in the affirmative. She then asked when I was coming to see her family. I told her I wasn't sure about coming to see them that I needed to speak to the girl first. She said okay, then later that day the girl called me, and I told her to come back for us to talk deliberate on the way forward. When she came she told me her parents (who are by the way divorced) will not accept her nor the pregnancy without me coming to see them for marriage arrangements.

I explained to her I wasn't ready for any such thing, that I have a calling to answer and a course to finish, that what happened between us was just a stupid and careless mistake that has been as a setback for me to achieve my goal, and that I was ready to overcome the trials and get back on track, and I explained to her that before then I had neither dated nor been intimate with anyone for over seven years, and so any kind of relationship or marriage was not even in my nearest future plans, and besides, I didn't even have a job, not to mention having enough money to embark on a marriage plan. She said she would never accept such excuse, that I should look for whatever means to make sure I come see her parents before her pregnancy becomes obvious. She also said that she needed money to move her belongings back to Imo state where her family resides. I agreed to raise some money for her. I went to do some menial jobs and raised some money, about ₦20k, which I gave to her and she traveled back to Owerri. From then on her parents kept calling and pressuring me to come and see them for marriage arrangements. I told them I was going to come, but just to introduce myself to them as the person responsible for their daughter's pregnancy not for any marriage arrangements. But they disagreed, that if I wasn't ready to come for marriage that I shouldn't bother coming. I pleaded with them to give me enough time to look for money to come and see them, but they instead started threatening me with court cases and arrests, at one time they brought the girl and some soldiers to my family house and harassed my family members including my mother.

So I later traveled to Benin city to go look for money. After one week of my arrival in Benin, I lost my phone and I couldn't retrieve my number. I lost connection with them until I got back to Uyo where I got her phone number from a friend of hers. At this time, I was told that they came to my house several times with police officers claiming I raped their daughter and impregnated her then absconded. At this, I established contact with the girl again and she told me that I should not bother her that she wasn't in the mood to talk to me, I kept calling her but she often ended up abusing me or we often times ended up in quarrels, so I left her alone for sometime.

Two weeks ago I related the matter to one of my distant uncles, who advised me to gather some money and go see her, I called her and told her I wanted to come and see her before she puts to bed, which is expected to be sometime next month (August). But she told me that she still stands by what her parents had said, if it's not for the marriage issue that I should not come, that I should rather send her the money I would use in coming so she can use it to buy the baby clothing and buy some hospital requirements before she puts to bed. I called her parents and they told me the same thing, and said if I don't come for the marriage agreement before she puts to bed, that after she's delivered of the baby I should forget ever coming, and should never mention that I have a child anywhere not to mention coming to claim it ever in the future. And that I should just forget about her and the child.

The issue now is this, I am a bit frustrated because I seem to have lost everything at the moment because of this issue; my calling, the skill I was learning is gone, I have no job aside the menial jobs I do at construction sites which isn't available regularly. Now the little I have saved so far, I am contemplating on whether to use the money to pay for my skills training and continue with it and start my life afresh and forget about her, the child, and her parents, or use the money to support her in her hospital requirements for her delivery. Because I don't want to be seen as abandoning her when she is in this condition, and I also don't want to give up on the child, though I'm not capable of taking care of the girl and the baby right now, and probably, I might end up getting married but not under my present circumstances. I know I've made a grave mistake and this is the consequences for not being true to myself and my calling, and I deeply regret it, and I've suffered for it in any way I can possibly imagine, but I also need to put my life back in order, because right now I'm so devastated that I'm contemplating terrible alternatives to survive the storm, I'm at a very critical moment of my life and I just feel like giving up on life altogether. Please I need your help and advice on this issue. Thanks.

PS. Please if anyone is willing to teach me any skill, I would be very grateful and willing to learn.