₦airaland Forum

Seems this one could not endure. Mtchewww. What happened to “For Better, For Worse”?

So what do you have to say about op predicament? Or is it his fault that his ex wife womb is weak? You can as well blame him for that Besides that is not the sole reason why he chooses to divorce her

dominique:
Nairalanders always happy whenever they get the opportunity to throw stones at single mothers. Even those that have impregnated girls and abandoned them to raise the kids all alone will still come online to insult single mums. Single mums are bad o but the irresponsible deadbeat men that left their responsibility for her to carry are the poor innocent victims.

Btw, which test does one carry out to reveal that a womb is weak? What is the medical terminology? Asking for a friend o

Pecoleee345:
Previous thread https://www.nairaland.com/6653469/another-marriage-crash

So over last weekend.... I called family meeting my mum, elder brother and I went to my wife parents house... her family members were present.

They wanted to resolve things between us but no one gave a Bleep about me....they asked her to speak and she said alot of things both truth and lies.

I was lambasted from both sides and I let them finished properly before dropping the bomb......I looked into her eyes straight up and told her am divorcing you.

They were all stunned.... they were now interested in my side of the story.

I decided not to say anything.....am not the type that bad mouth people to score points or look good (my ex-wife is very good at that)....I just told her family to demand the truth from her.

My advice to young men.

1. Make sure u know the background of the lady u wanna get involved with....the way of life etc.

The mistake I made was not evaluating her background...... We came from completely different backgrounds....eg where she comes from people talking crazy and shouting at one another isn't a big deal but me it was a Taboo infact in my parents' house u can't talk with high tones for normal discussions.

2. See forget love and looks...... Make sure you know the main reason she wants to marry you.

I know she loves me but she had another motive which is am meant to give her everything she wants in Life.... She had that mind set of her responsibilities is totally dependent on me.

She told me she can only spare or borrow me money towards doing anything in the house but it is my duty to provide anything she wants even the riddicules ones.

3. For your peace of mind stay away from most ladies raised by single mothers because most her poison to hate men right from teens by their mother.

They are mostly insecure....they believe all men cheat and can never trust.
Comes with mad jealousy

They mostly have anger issue.... they will tell you I don't take shit... trying to show they are strong and can't take what their mother took despite you not doing any shit.....they want to have say in everything just to show you are equal.

They are always quick to be on the defensive
Just to mention a few

I once told my wife am not like your father when I couldn't take the policing, sneaking and threat anymore.

See as a man no one gives a shit about you..... people are sympathetic towards the female and expect you to take whatever she throws at you but you need your peace of mind.
The society has made it possible for women to get away with lot of things.

If you found a woman you want to marry please put love aside and get to really know her background well......cohabit with her for 6month......lastly even if you don't have money, please borrow and go for comprehensive medical check up with her.... (check your sperm count and the state of her womb) please.

Obob this is deep!!!

Ishilove:
Op, nobody is perfect. Let he who is without sin be the first to cast the stone.

abeg go sit down for one corner jare

As a responsible man you have to hold on to the ancient belief that everything a woman needs under your roof is your responsibility. Note this and no woman will override your position. If you get into another marriage with the feminist oriented woman the situation may be worst that the first... My opinion though....

ubola:
Op, did the Doctor tell you that her weak womb is as a result of the abortion she had in school? Or you are just assuming because she told you about her past. Men like you are the reason some women will take some secrets to the grave. She doesn't deserve this banter, if you've divorced her, go your way and get madam perfect. Stop using damaging words on her. Another man will do very well with that lady and appreciate her more. The fact is that you went into marriage not realizing that you are the man. Just two years and you started burrowing from her, meaning you also had alterior motives b4 marrying. Av always adviced men to be financially independent b4 marriage. That same lady who ask for refund after burrowing from her can still pay for your and children fees if you know how to manage her well,as the going says "every mad woman get lover". Be matured and independent b4 you get involved in the next one, else it won't get better. Men goes into marriage not boys, okay!

She is single now.....I can forward you her number... seems you know the best way to handle her and how things should be done.

CharisEleos:
Twp Captains cannot be in one boat.
The problem lies with both of you.
She cannot take shit. You cannot take shit. So, who will now take the shit? Pride.

Pride goes before a fall. That is what has befallen your marriage.
When you learn to get off your high horses, you both will be cohabitable.

The problem with many couples is that they place themselves higher than the other. Now you talked about her trying to measure up to you ( equality). What made you see her as trying to do that if you yourself have not placed yourself so high.? Even before God, we all are equal. So why think you are higher than someone else? Your better half for that matter.

It's normal for two people to have a misunderstanding. But you should learn to to let go immediately and also try to avoid anything that will cause any further misunderstanding. If you see it coming, quickly turn it to a joke. Is she sees it coming, let her do same. but no. Rather you'll feel, "Why should I be the one to backdown" let him /her go to hell!!!!!!. Ego.

If you can't manage your first marriage then you'll not be able to manage the next. mind you the other woman will be coming with a baggage of her own character flaws.

No one is perfect.

thanks

Visocrate:
Are you okay is everyone the same your girl is different and you may not get another one like her if you break up because of what you are reading here, every one has his own problem you want to spoil a relationship you cultivated over time because of one post

no even talk rubish....he can't get anoda one like her(na gold she be)make Ena stop dis over hyping on pussy!

Pecoleee345:
Previous thread https://www.nairaland.com/6653469/another-marriage-crash

So over last weekend.... I called family meeting my mum, elder brother and I went to my wife parents house... her family members were present.

They wanted to resolve things between us but no one gave a Bleep about me....they asked her to speak and she said alot of things both truth and lies.

I was lambasted from both sides and I let them finished properly before dropping the bomb......I looked into her eyes straight up and told her am divorcing you.

They were all stunned.... they were now interested in my side of the story.

I decided not to say anything.....am not the type that bad mouth people to score points or look good (my ex-wife is very good at that)....I just told her family to demand the truth from her.

My advice to young men.

1. Make sure u know the background of the lady u wanna get involved with....the way of life etc.

The mistake I made was not evaluating her background...... We came from completely different backgrounds....eg where she comes from people talking crazy and shouting at one another isn't a big deal but me it was a Taboo infact in my parents' house u can't talk with high tones for normal discussions.

2. See forget love and looks...... Make sure you know the main reason she wants to marry you.

I know she loves me but she had another motive which is am meant to give her everything she wants in Life.... She had that mind set of her responsibilities is totally dependent on me.

She told me she can only spare or borrow me money towards doing anything in the house but it is my duty to provide anything she wants even the riddicules ones.

3. For your peace of mind stay away from most ladies raised by single mothers because most her poison to hate men right from teens by their mother.

They are mostly insecure....they believe all men cheat and can never trust.
Comes with mad jealousy

They mostly have anger issue.... they will tell you I don't take shit... trying to show they are strong and can't take what their mother took despite you not doing any shit.....they want to have say in everything just to show you are equal.

They are always quick to be on the defensive
Just to mention a few

I once told my wife am not like your father when I couldn't take the policing, sneaking and threat anymore.

See as a man no one gives a shit about you..... people are sympathetic towards the female and expect you to take whatever she throws at you but you need your peace of mind.
The society has made it possible for women to get away with lot of things.

If you found a woman you want to marry please put love aside and get to really know her background well......cohabit with her for 6month......lastly even if you don't have money, please borrow and go for comprehensive medical check up with her.... (check your sperm count and the state of her womb) please.

I don't know about your wife and I don't know about you. There are only two things that will make your wife act this way.

1. Either you're cheating or have cheated before.
2. She's also enduring your character.

Sorry but I can't support you or her because I haven't heard her side of the story and I don't stay with the both of you. I have seen people who act like victims when they are not. Before you end your relationship, seat down and ask yourself if you can marry someone with your type of lifestyle. Ask people around what they think of you. Cheers.... Remember, no one on the internet will tell you the truth.

Pecoleee345:
Previous thread https://www.nairaland.com/6653469/another-marriage-crash

So over last weekend.... I called family meeting my mum, elder brother and I went to my wife parents house... her family members were present.

They wanted to resolve things between us but no one gave a Bleep about me....they asked her to speak and she said alot of things both truth and lies.

I was lambasted from both sides and I let them finished properly before dropping the bomb......I looked into her eyes straight up and told her am divorcing you.

They were all stunned.... they were now interested in my side of the story.

I decided not to say anything.....am not the type that bad mouth people to score points or look good (my ex-wife is very good at that)....I just told her family to demand the truth from her.

My advice to young men.

1. Make sure u know the background of the lady u wanna get involved with....the way of life etc.

The mistake I made was not evaluating her background...... We came from completely different backgrounds....eg where she comes from people talking crazy and shouting at one another isn't a big deal but me it was a Taboo infact in my parents' house u can't talk with high tones for normal discussions.

2. See forget love and looks...... Make sure you know the main reason she wants to marry you.

I know she loves me but she had another motive which is am meant to give her everything she wants in Life.... She had that mind set of her responsibilities is totally dependent on me.

She told me she can only spare or borrow me money towards doing anything in the house but it is my duty to provide anything she wants even the riddicules ones.

3. For your peace of mind stay away from most ladies raised by single mothers because most her poison to hate men right from teens by their mother.

They are mostly insecure....they believe all men cheat and can never trust.
Comes with mad jealousy

They mostly have anger issue.... they will tell you I don't take shit... trying to show they are strong and can't take what their mother took despite you not doing any shit.....they want to have say in everything just to show you are equal.

They are always quick to be on the defensive
Just to mention a few

I once told my wife am not like your father when I couldn't take the policing, sneaking and threat anymore.

See as a man no one gives a shit about you..... people are sympathetic towards the female and expect you to take whatever she throws at you but you need your peace of mind.
The society has made it possible for women to get away with lot of things.

If you found a woman you want to marry please put love aside and get to really know her background well......cohabit with her for 6month......lastly even if you don't have money, please borrow and go for comprehensive medical check up with her.... (check your sperm count and the state of her womb) please.

For your mind you don know us wella

rosalieene:
I was so surprised when I saw that number 2.
Nigerian men don't realise that women respect men that are providers more. Those kind of men don't even scream submission, it comes to them automatically because they have proven to be the HEAD.

You are crazy!

You attend the same school with men, eat the same food, drink the same water, fight for the same jobs, treat the same malaria and typhoid, and you want a man to provide for you while you do nothing? Of what use is your education?

What if your husband dies while working extra hard to provide for you?

You need sense and you need it urgently.

CharisEleos:
If you can't manage your first marriage then you'll not be able to manage the next. mind you the other woman will be coming with a baggage of her own character flaws.

No one is perfect.

Though know one is perfect like you said but I have seen where those that were unable to manage their first marriage were able to manage the next.

Pecoleee345:
No.....she had miscarriage twice
It was two year into marriage I got to know she had an abortion while in school.

She has a weak womb according to test results.

My brother you don mk us day fear ooo because almost every naija girl has done abortion(s)......which kind Life b this sef!

kmcutez:
Seems this one could not endure. Mtchewww. What happened to “For Better, For Worse”?

lol

TheWolfen:
Put that kinda mindset in a trash can

What do you know?

Michelle55:
Honestly, I try as much as possible to avoid your post because it reeks of bitterness and frustration. Where is it stipulated that the man should bear the brunt alone just because he married you?

Don't you know the meaning of helpmate? You had better change this disgusting mentality before marriage if truly you want to settle down.

Walai, I'm not sure the knots in your head is complete, please check well.
Aaarrghh!

I swear my brother the matter tire me!!

Visocrate:
Are you okay is everyone the same your girl is different and you may not get another one like her if you break up because of what you are reading here, every one has his own problem you want to spoil a relationship you cultivated over time because of one post

oga no con de talk rubish here....he might not get anoda one like her,what is special about her(she be gold)just face ur front if u no get better thing too talk....no de over hyped pussy 4 here!

Folorunsho15:
I feel you bro, currently in this kind of relationship but whenever I think about marriage omo I'm just sacred and I've been looking for a way to step out man. The OP has finished it, it's like they are wired to take the revenge for their fathers actions on you when you haven't done anything wrong but to love and care for them. Ladies raised by toxic single moms or from a toxic family with an abusive father is a risk not worth taking imo. I just hope this one will not go and commit suicide cuz she always threatens that

Loveeeee your comment. It is now our duty as future father's to make conscious efforts not to be abusive to our wife's to prevent damaging our children.

CharisEleos:
Twp Captains cannot be in one boat.
The problem lies with both of you.
She cannot take shit. You cannot take shit. So, who will now take the shit? Pride.

Pride goes before a fall. That is what has befallen your marriage.
When you learn to get off your high horses, you both will be cohabitable.

The problem with many couples is that they place themselves higher than the other. Now you talked about her trying to measure up to you ( equality). What made you see her as trying to do that if you yourself have not placed yourself so high.? Even before God, we all are equal. So why think you are higher than someone else? Your better half for that matter.

It's normal for two people to have a misunderstanding. But you should learn to to let go immediately and also try to avoid anything that will cause any further misunderstanding. If you see it coming, quickly turn it to a joke. Is she sees it coming, let her do same. but no. Rather you'll feel, "Why should I be the one to backdown" let him /her go to hell!!!!!!. Ego.

If you can't manage your first marriage then you'll not be able to manage the next. mind you the other woman will be coming with a baggage of her own character flaws.

No one is perfect.

Good morning, I would have overlook your comment but immediately I saw "...before God all are equal" I taught it appropriate to say this:

(1) A husband and a wife is not equal before God. Use your Bible or Koran to confirm this.

(2) From this thread, he provides for the family so the wife should have done her part which is to respect him.

Lastly, most of the ladies who always shout that they don't take "shit" are taking it somewhere else, I said this from experience, thank you.

ubola:
Op, did the Doctor tell you that her weak womb is as a result of the abortion she had in school? Or you are just assuming because she told you about her past. Men like you are the reason some women will take some secrets to the grave. She doesn't deserve this banter, if you've divorced her, go your way and get madam perfect. Stop using damaging words on her. Another man will do very well with that lady and appreciate her more. The fact is that you went into marriage not realizing that you are the man. Just two years and you started burrowing from her, meaning you also had alterior motives b4 marrying. Av always adviced men to be financially independent b4 marriage. That same lady who ask for refund after burrowing from her can still pay for your and children fees if you know how to manage her well,as the going says "every mad woman get lover". Be matured and independent b4 you get involved in the next one, else it won't get better. Men goes into marriage not boys, okay!

The OP is acting like my ex-bf that wanted me to be paying for all his bills despite knowing that I was still struggling in school. He had an entitlement mentality. He wasn't disturbing his parents for money, but whenever I don't have, he'll be aggressive. The OP has issues just like his wife. Period.

Op you can hate my statement. You also have issues. Work on yourself

LutanFyah:
You're advising a young man to waste his time and resources going for multiple tests and endless prayer houses because of a barren woman?

OP was not there when she was fvcking around and having abortions.


God forbid!!!

No a simple procedure called cervical cerclage will prevent mid trimester abortion.
Pregnancy isn't the problem here but maintaining it to term.
How are you sure the abortions weren't for the husband ?

donbachi:
No perfect woman.but,make we no meet the ones wey go kill us.

Sokwe

Pecoleee345:
No.....she had miscarriage twice
It was two year into marriage I got to know she had an abortion while in school.

She has a weak womb according to test results.

Igbanda

Ishilove:
We oftentimes don't know what we have until we lose it.

Not in all cases!
Sometimes we feel happy losing some people & start regretting why we had to wait that long to lose them. Especially when u see how meaningful your life has become without them.

OP I do not believe you.
And you advice men not to marry women from single mothers. I think this should go both ways. After all, it's same "single mothers"

udemzyudex:
My ex is a single mum,I broke up with her recently,in fact she didn't see it coming but I have been thinking about it and even had sleepless night over it because I've never broke up with a lady before,and didn't want to hurt her but I just had to do it.

She's self centered, hot tempered, always quick to anger. She cares about herself alone.
I have a lot to say but I'm not the type that love jumping from one lady to another,and I don't want a situation whereby people will be asking me in future if I didn't notice any of these signs before marrying her.

Though she love me but there's more to it than just the love because whenyou can't tolerate all these things again,the love will die a natural death.

Single mum need to always go for counselling,they need a therapist .

Most of them are extremely bitter, selfish and unstable. One minute, they love you, the next minute, they run back to the baby daddy.

Pecoleee345:
So she suffering from cervical incompetence is my fault.....or she not telling before about the abortion is my fault......I just don't understand.

She has a problem she caused herself but I should be one running around to solve it for her??

FYI i was ready to pay for medical solutions but she insisted it is spiritual attack from her side......so what am I supposed to do tie a rope to her neck and drag her to the hospital??

My brother incompetent cervix have nothing to do abortion sometimes, i know virgins who suffer same fate.It is nature just like we have hermaphrodites,people whose organs are not well developed are bound in nature(humans and animals).
With a cerclage she can keep the baby till term.Please my brother if she has other good qualities, try reconsider her and give her your conditions in the marriage.
Many women suffer from it these days.It can happen to any woman who had full term baby in the next pregnancy.
How old (weeks) were her last pregnancies?

Please educate yourself on this topic
https://www.nairaland.com/889053/pregnancy-pregnant-going-through-high/6188#103236799

greatbrian:
I think there is a stereotype about single mother stuff here.


Truth is if you are crazy, you are crazy. If you are bad you are bad forget single mum ish. Lots of mofos out there who came out from a perfectly good family but are much more bitter and I'll mannered than whatever you say. And for the records, I was raised by a single mum alongside 2 elder sisters and not for once have my sisters exhibit those traits you dare not even raise your voice in my house even with all I think I am mum still slapped me few months ago and just last week my woman sent my mum money and she tagged it for raising him right.


So stop condemning the parent who choose to stay condemn the one who can't take up responsibilities but choose to die or walk away.

Understand the difference between a single mum and a woman left to raise her kids all alone.

Yours is different from the stereotypical single mum OP is talking about.

Pecoleee345:
Previous thread https://www.nairaland.com/6653469/another-marriage-crash

So over last weekend.... I called family meeting my mum, elder brother and I went to my wife parents house... her family members were present.

They wanted to resolve things between us but no one gave a Bleep about me....they asked her to speak and she said alot of things both truth and lies.

I was lambasted from both sides and I let them finished properly before dropping the bomb......I looked into her eyes straight up and told her am divorcing you.

They were all stunned.... they were now interested in my side of the story.

I decided not to say anything.....am not the type that bad mouth people to score points or look good (my ex-wife is very good at that)....I just told her family to demand the truth from her.

My advice to young men.

1. Make sure u know the background of the lady u wanna get involved with....the way of life etc.

The mistake I made was not evaluating her background...... We came from completely different backgrounds....eg where she comes from people talking crazy and shouting at one another isn't a big deal but me it was a Taboo infact in my parents' house u can't talk with high tones for normal discussions.

2. See forget love and looks...... Make sure you know the main reason she wants to marry you.

I know she loves me but she had another motive which is am meant to give her everything she wants in Life.... She had that mind set of her responsibilities is totally dependent on me.

She told me she can only spare or borrow me money towards doing anything in the house but it is my duty to provide anything she wants even the riddicules ones.

3. For your peace of mind stay away from most ladies raised by single mothers because most her poison to hate men right from teens by their mother.

They are mostly insecure....they believe all men cheat and can never trust.
Comes with mad jealousy

They mostly have anger issue.... they will tell you I don't take shit... trying to show they are strong and can't take what their mother took despite you not doing any shit.....they want to have say in everything just to show you are equal.

They are always quick to be on the defensive
Just to mention a few

I once told my wife am not like your father when I couldn't take the policing, sneaking and threat anymore.

See as a man no one gives a shit about you..... people are sympathetic towards the female and expect you to take whatever she throws at you but you need your peace of mind.
The society has made it possible for women to get away with lot of things.

If you found a woman you want to marry please put love aside and get to really know her background well......cohabit with her for 6month......lastly even if you don't have money, please borrow and go for comprehensive medical check up with her.... (check your sperm count and the state of her womb) please.

I really do appreciate this man

Pecoleee345:
No.....she had miscarriage twice
It was two year into marriage I got to know she had an abortion while in school.

She has a weak womb according to test results.

She has a weak cervix which is the opening of the womb.

[s]

CharisEleos:
Twp Captains cannot be in one boat.
The problem lies with both of you.
She cannot take shit. You cannot take shit. So, who will now take the shit? Pride.

Pride goes before a fall. That is what has befallen your marriage.
When you learn to get off your high horses, you both will be cohabitable.

The problem with many couples is that they place themselves higher than the other. Now you talked about her trying to measure up to you ( equality). What made you see her as trying to do that if you yourself have not placed yourself so high.? Even before God, we all are equal. So why think you are higher than someone else? Your better half for that matter.

It's normal for two people to have a misunderstanding. But you should learn to to let go immediately and also try to avoid anything that will cause any further misunderstanding. If you see it coming, quickly turn it to a joke. Is she sees it coming, let her do same. but no. Rather you'll feel, "Why should I be the one to backdown" let him /her go to hell!!!!!!. Ego.

If you can't manage your first marriage then you'll not be able to manage the next. mind you the other woman will be coming with a baggage of her own character flaws.

No one is perfect.

[/s] Trash!

Mogadishuu:
The op is now an elder because he just shared an experience of his for we the single guys. Background check isn't just about her WhatsApp or Facebook... Go to her area, ask about her.
In the olden days, that's what our parents did. They made research into the family they intend having a union with

And as a woman/man if you were raised by a single parent endeavor to go for counceling before wedding

U see my brother, ever since we left our culture and welcomed oyibo culture, marriages are no longer interested