₦airaland Forum

Pecoleee345:
Previous thread https://www.nairaland.com/6653469/another-marriage-crash

So over last weekend.... I called family meeting my mum, elder brother and I went to my wife parents house... her family members were present.

They wanted to resolve things between us but no one gave a Bleep about me....they asked her to speak and she said alot of things both truth and lies.

I was lambasted from both sides and I let them finished properly before dropping the bomb......I looked into her eyes straight up and told her am divorcing you.

They were all stunned.... they were now interested in my side of the story.

I decided not to say anything.....am not the type that bad mouth people to score points or look good (my ex-wife is very good at that)....I just told her family to demand the truth from her.

My advice to young men.

1. Make sure u know the background of the lady u wanna get involved with....the way of life etc.

The mistake I made was not evaluating her background...... We came from completely different backgrounds....eg where she comes from people talking crazy and shouting at one another isn't a big deal but me it was a Taboo infact in my parents' house u can't talk with high tones for normal discussions.

2. See forget love and looks...... Make sure you know the main reason she wants to marry you.

I know she loves me but she had another motive which is am meant to give her everything she wants in Life.... She had that mind set of her responsibilities is totally dependent on me.

She told me she can only spare or borrow me money towards doing anything in the house but it is my duty to provide anything she wants even the riddicules ones.

3. For your peace of mind stay away from most ladies raised by single mothers because most her poison to hate men right from teens by their mother.

They are mostly insecure....they believe all men cheat and can never trust.
Comes with mad jealousy

They mostly have anger issue.... they will tell you I don't take shit... trying to show they are strong and can't take what their mother took despite you not doing any shit.....they want to have say in everything just to show you are equal.

They are always quick to be on the defensive
Just to mention a few

I once told my wife am not like your father when I couldn't take the policing, sneaking and threat anymore.

See as a man no one gives a shit about you..... people are sympathetic towards the female and expect you to take whatever she throws at you but you need your peace of mind.
The society has made it possible for women to get away with lot of things.

If you found a woman you want to marry please put love aside and get to really know her background well......cohabit with her for 6month......lastly even if you don't have money, please borrow and go for comprehensive medical check up with her.... (check your sperm count and the state of her womb) please.

NoToPile:
I did get your drift.

I don't see how different this is from what I posted, what you are saying is still 'Its the fault of the females we are not providing solely There's a contrast between "share in the providing responsibility" & "be the sole providers". The former is my stand, as far as this back-and-forth is concerned. , they cant insist on gender equality and avoid equal responsibility' The females are taking the blame.

You mentioned equal responsibility across board severally and I will ask directly now If both spouses provide do you agree both spouses should do the caregiving.

Yes or No answer pls.
YES!

Mairice125:
If you want to get married to a woman , practice celibacy (continence) for minimum of one year.Celibacy is a powerful tool to get to k know the woman you want to marry , without it you can never get the right woman .While being celibate make sure you chase your goals so keenly never loose sight on your goals ,make money and be financial bouyant.When you finally get married make sure you are very good in bed ,I mean very very very good in bed Believe this or not great sex is the only way you can submit yourself and your wife to God .When you chase your goals ,great sex , holding firm to your morals and values that way any woman would surrender and submit are whole being to you .Dm me I will advice you more

TarOrfeeek:
My current GF is from a single mother home.

Immediately I finished reading this topic. I will break up with her mentally.

Nancee4love:
May God deliver my brothers from ur type
Ur mindset is disgusting very bad a d crude, you are not matured for marriage and a disaster to any man who gets engaged to u with this kind of mindset
Better Don't marry please before you jeopardize the life of another man's son
What is marriage? Covenant partnership. A Partner is a supporter in their partnership, they may not have equal share but each partner had a share of responsibility to the agreement of partnership. Guyz run from a lady who does not see marriage from the angle and perspective of partnership that lady is not your wife. A woman who truly loves you supports you. My dad went dead broke and it was my mum who helped raised him back to life with no insult but still gave him his maximum respect during the darkest moment of his life, she made home comfortable and marriage easy for him till he bounced back. My father is late but all his properties after he bounced back was willed to my mum and us the children.
Goossh you are a disgrace to us women responsible women. Please go fix yourself before marriage. Guyz shine your eyes please we still have good women or ladies out their. I will never marry a man I can't support. It's not about it's my choice to support him or not it's my responsibility to support him. 2 have become one. You see this kind of mindset this lady has is toxic. As an adult do u know it's your responsibility to take care of yourself, keep waiting for a man to do that. May God not allow my brothers to encounter ur type.
Op pick up urself and move you met and plunged the wrong flower.

Pecoleee345:
Previous thread https://www.nairaland.com/6653469/another-marriage-crash

So over last weekend.... I called family meeting my mum, elder brother and I went to my wife parents house... her family members were present.

They wanted to resolve things between us but no one gave a Bleep about me....they asked her to speak and she said alot of things both truth and lies.

I was lambasted from both sides and I let them finished properly before dropping the bomb......I looked into her eyes straight up and told her am divorcing you.

They were all stunned.... they were now interested in my side of the story.

I decided not to say anything.....am not the type that bad mouth people to score points or look good (my ex-wife is very good at that)....I just told her family to demand the truth from her.

My advice to young men.

1. Make sure u know the background of the lady u wanna get involved with....the way of life etc.

The mistake I made was not evaluating her background...... We came from completely different backgrounds....eg where she comes from people talking crazy and shouting at one another isn't a big deal but me it was a Taboo infact in my parents' house u can't talk with high tones for normal discussions.

2. See forget love and looks...... Make sure you know the main reason she wants to marry you.

I know she loves me but she had another motive which is am meant to give her everything she wants in Life.... She had that mind set of her responsibilities is totally dependent on me.

She told me she can only spare or borrow me money towards doing anything in the house but it is my duty to provide anything she wants even the riddicules ones.

3. For your peace of mind stay away from most ladies raised by single mothers because most her poison to hate men right from teens by their mother.

They are mostly insecure....they believe all men cheat and can never trust.
Comes with mad jealousy

They mostly have anger issue.... they will tell you I don't take shit... trying to show they are strong and can't take what their mother took despite you not doing any shit.....they want to have say in everything just to show you are equal.

They are always quick to be on the defensive
Just to mention a few

I once told my wife am not like your father when I couldn't take the policing, sneaking and threat anymore.

See as a man no one gives a shit about you..... people are sympathetic towards the female and expect you to take whatever she throws at you but you need your peace of mind.
The society has made it possible for women to get away with lot of things.

If you found a woman you want to marry please put love aside and get to really know her background well......cohabit with her for 6month......lastly even if you don't have money, please borrow and go for comprehensive medical check up with her.... (check your sperm count and the state of her womb) please.

ObaKlaz:
There's a contrast between "share in the providing responsibility" & "be the sole providers". The former is my stand as far as this back-and-forth is concerned.


YES!

Pecoleee345:
Is she exhibiting those characters I mentioned
Not all of them are like that oo.

IamGreen1:
I love this but kindly share with us what your father did that make him to deserve all what your mother did for him so that all these men here can also learn from your dad like some ladies here like me I've learnt from your mum.

SimplyFacts:
For compatibility, a lady once told me that she needed to get confirmation from her two Pastors & her mom's?

3 Pastors Mo ya look away. Before she gave a feedback, I told her my Pastor said (na lie o) he saw death ahead of us .

I can't lay the foundation of my marriage or live my life on the beliefs of other people she called Pastors.

Afodot0022:
Hmmm am just speechless with OP experience. Seems like we both are going through the same issues mentioned by you. Infact it looks like your wife is related to my own wife in some certain ways cos she exhibit same trait your wife display. You have said all and a word is enough for the wise. Single guys should open their eyes and pray real hard before settling down with any lady expecially those that were raised by single ladies and those that came out of polygamous home. They are really toxic and unbearable. My wife mom abandone them to their father when they were young and it was their step mom that raised them. The father had many wives and also her mum married multiple husband before she married their father and still left him to marry another again. So you can imagine how messed up their background was. I knew all this when i was still dating her but let me say i was carried away with love or probably lust and didnt make me consider those things.
The issue am facing now with my woman, when i maried her, i only did traditional marriage and didnt do any registry. After the traditional, madam show me hell o that i was even looking for a way out cos of peace of mind. Now after some years, my father inlaw just called me recently that we should go and do our registry which is court wedding. He mentioned that he gave me a week to get this done and if i dont have enough funds , he is willing to assist financially. Now my question is with the way my wife has behave in the past, should i still go ahead and do the court wedding now after 5 years we did our traditional. Pls i need answers and advice from matured married men out there cos if left to me, i am not doing any court wedding cos the way i look at it, i dont think our marriage will last with the way my wife had behaved. If its you, will you proceed to do the court marriage.

Pecoleee345:
Previous thread https://www.nairaland.com/6653469/another-marriage-crash

So over last weekend.... I called family meeting my mum, elder brother and I went to my wife parents house... her family members were present.

They wanted to resolve things between us but no one gave a Bleep about me....they asked her to speak and she said alot of things both truth and lies.

I was lambasted from both sides and I let them finished properly before dropping the bomb......I looked into her eyes straight up and told her am divorcing you.

They were all stunned.... they were now interested in my side of the story.

I decided not to say anything.....am not the type that bad mouth people to score points or look good (my ex-wife is very good at that)....I just told her family to demand the truth from her.

My advice to young men.

1. Make sure u know the background of the lady u wanna get involved with....the way of life etc.

The mistake I made was not evaluating her background...... We came from completely different backgrounds....eg where she comes from people talking crazy and shouting at one another isn't a big deal but me it was a Taboo infact in my parents' house u can't talk with high tones for normal discussions.

2. See forget love and looks...... Make sure you know the main reason she wants to marry you.

I know she loves me but she had another motive which is am meant to give her everything she wants in Life.... She had that mind set of her responsibilities is totally dependent on me.

She told me she can only spare or borrow me money towards doing anything in the house but it is my duty to provide anything she wants even the riddicules ones.

3. For your peace of mind stay away from most ladies raised by single mothers because most her poison to hate men right from teens by their mother.

They are mostly insecure....they believe all men cheat and can never trust.
Comes with mad jealousy

They mostly have anger issue.... they will tell you I don't take shit... trying to show they are strong and can't take what their mother took despite you not doing any shit.....they want to have say in everything just to show you are equal.

They are always quick to be on the defensive
Just to mention a few

I once told my wife am not like your father when I couldn't take the policing, sneaking and threat anymore.

See as a man no one gives a shit about you..... people are sympathetic towards the female and expect you to take whatever she throws at you but you need your peace of mind.
The society has made it possible for women to get away with lot of things.

If you found a woman you want to marry please put love aside and get to really know her background well......cohabit with her for 6month......lastly even if you don't have money, please borrow and go for comprehensive medical check up with her.... (check your sperm count and the state of her womb) please.

donbachi:
No perfect woman.but,make we no meet the ones wey go kill us.

Pecoleee345:
l
Yea.....i messed up in that aspect..... Especially the background check and way of life.

The worst one was the medical check it was two years into marriage I found out she had weak womb due to abortion....

TarOrfeeek:
My current GF is from a single mother home.

Immediately I finished reading this topic. I will break up with her mentally.

Nancee4love:
May God deliver my brothers from ur type
Ur mindset is disgusting very bad a d crude, you are not matured for marriage and a disaster to any man who gets engaged to u with this kind of mindset
Better Don't marry please before you jeopardize the life of another man's son
What is marriage? Covenant partnership. A Partner is a supporter in their partnership, they may not have equal share but each partner had a share of responsibility to the agreement of partnership. Guyz run from a lady who does not see marriage from the angle and perspective of partnership that lady is not your wife. A woman who truly loves you supports you. My dad went dead broke and it was my mum who helped raised him back to life with no insult but still gave him his maximum respect during the darkest moment of his life, she made home comfortable and marriage easy for him till he bounced back. My father is late but all his properties after he bounced back was willed to my mum and us the children.
Goossh you are a disgrace to us women responsible women. Please go fix yourself before marriage. Guyz shine your eyes please we still have good women or ladies out their. I will never marry a man I can't support. It's not about it's my choice to support him or not it's my responsibility to support him. 2 have become one. You see this kind of mindset this lady has is toxic. As an adult do u know it's your responsibility to take care of yourself, keep waiting for a man to do that. May God not allow my brothers to encounter ur type.
Op pick up urself and move you met and plunged the wrong flower.

MALIGNANTGuest:
I took my time to read through write ups here but yours is exceptional.
From your statement it goes to show that the MEN are battle ready.
The BATTLE LINE is drawn already.
LADIES misused every opportunity they were given. This GENERATION of Ladies have really disrespected men that even our Mothers are afraid of giving out their sons in marriage.

When I was getting married, my MOM wept.
I met her to know y, she said dis could b d last time she may b having unrestricted access 2me.
LADIES of nowadays were raised by fairly Good mothers but they were displaced from the norms governing marriage by social media feminism and many other influencers.
FUNNY THING is dat our aged Mothers respect we the men of d house more dan our imported wives. Most wives do not know dat dey are still visitors in dia husband's family.
Most wives do not know that they share no genetic similarities with their husbands..

TODAY, a man can't get at least PEACE OF MIND in the same he pays rent.
When you call your wife to talk out things with her, she becomes a TIGRESS.

MOST ladies are no longer interested in marriage too. So, marriage should be left for Ladies who are duly interested in it.

As a Lady, if you are not ready to take SHIT from Men, please I beg you in the name of Amadioha and Almighty God to desist from making Marital plans. Take your Time, Enjoy your singlehood, and more so, club well.
After all you are not under anyone.

But whenever you resolve to marry a MAN, please cross examine yourself again b4 entering.
For No single Lady ever suffers DIVORCE.

BiggyB242:
Very important, I know two brothers lets say A and B. A is chesting the whole bills because his wife isn't working even if he receives higher than the other brother B who is married to a professional.

Brother A salary is no match compare to the combined salary of B and his wife. Looking at them B is doing so so so well compare to A. I was advised, if I'm getting married I should make such she is working not because you want her money but it will ease you some financial stress. Me sef na doctor I wan marry their head they house, I dey try build myself to that financial level where I fit marry doctor.

BiggyB242:
I don't want talk too much.

Belafonte:
I'll tell you what her father did right to get that kind of treatment from his wife in his darkest days. He married a good, virtuous woman. That's it. That's what he did.

You're welcome

Ishilove:
And where in my post did I give credence to bad habits?

FYI, civility is part of good social etiquette and has nothing to do with gender. Stop defending your lack of civility. If we were face to face, will you ask me if I'm drunk? Will you not pass your points across like a civilized human being? Why do people abandon decorum once they login to the internet?

EndRape2:
U are a stupid man, you do not love her, you divorce her because of the weak womb, nothing more nothing less,

You are stupid, she should go and thank God you left her, because in marriage we need people that truly love us, and willing to go an extra mile for us , you can not put love aside in marriage , love is the only thing that can make you see strength in your partner's weekness

It is the weak womb, and abortion that made you see other weaknesses,

A weak womb does not mean she can not give birth, ivf is there , surrogacy is there
As long as there is no domestic violence , both partners can sit and resolve issues that comes with marriage, you think divorce is a thing to celebrate , you are a mumu ,people praising you here have their own marital challenge , and they are solving it gradually.



Let her dust her self and be happy, that you left, because every woman needs a man that genuinely love her because at old age she will need care and love, not a man that will dump her at old age and follow young girls .


Give me her number let me celebrate with her.

sparko1:
The quote itself gives an impression that, it's fine to have bad character, because we all do (or what explanation do you want give for the quote as related to this topic)

And for your information, If we are talking face to face, whether you are a lady or not, if you say something that warrant the question, I will ask.

Civility is not stupidity!

Number1benue:
My phone just fall from my hand after reading this.....you go need repair my phone screen Abeg.
And I being think say I get strong conscience ooo. This one loud

Stupidquestions:
One last point....be careful with women with big yansh....cos most times..the yansh dey geh insurance for outside unknowing to the man.

Christie171:
CONGRATULATIONS

elay44:
Bro I only read stuff as a guest. this your post made me register on nairaland. I am in this same boat the, threats, jealousy, anger, no support financially,( I earn very well to take care of the family but it can be exhausting sometimes) etc. but we have Kids . I salute your courage bro. you need to be in this shoes to understand what this bro went through. you can comment and call names but you just can't understand. I feel you and I am very happy for you. thanks for speaking up and being an encouragement. a lot of men are going through shit all in the name of love. forget redplliers. we are not built to be violent, we geniuely care for people, that just how we are wired. but we are taken for granted and our nature taken for weakness.