Yes as the aforementioned says, some partners boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife have the nonchalant attitude towards cleaning up for example leaving soap scum all over the bathroom door, wall and even floor, not flushing the water closets properly after defecating, not rinsing the washing hand sink or mirror after splashing from teeth brushing, allowing food droplets or crumbs on the floor when eating. If you are the kind of person that can't over look a mess no matter how small it is, how do you cope? Because constantly reminding them is like you nagging.

Say the truth with joke.

mardis:
Yes as the aforementioned says, some partners boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife have the nonchalant attitude towards cleaning up for example leaving soap scum all over the bathroom door, wall and even floor, not flushing the water closets properly after defecating, not rinsing the washing hand sink or mirror after splashing from teeth brushing, allowing food droplets or crumbs on the floor when eating. If you are the kind of person that can't over look a mess no matter how small it is, how do you cope? Because constantly reminding them is like you nagging.

Its very simple, do it if your spouse is lazy and learn to look out for each other

Say it the way it is, nothing like sugarcoating it atal. When you do these a number of times and your partner sees it as nagging without changing or improving then that should tell you that he/she is naturally dirty. It's now left for you decide if you can cope with such attitude on the long run.

Not my jurisdiction. Let the marriageists, aka, 'been there, done that, therefore I have the advantage of hexpeeriense over you singu pringles' coman contribute.

Gosh, this is a serious one

What happened to communication?
Is it that hard in marriages?
Are couples afraid of each other or what?

This got nothing to do with marriage.. even flat mates does things like that...

I remembered sharing common spaces while in Uni, the Chinese landlord that rented the student accommodation wrote in the kitchen " your mother is not here, Please clean after yourself.

You need to tell them the reason why they have to stop in an appealing way

Hmmmm....I feel you. One of the issues I have with sharing my space with anyone is how they leave the toilet. I always always tell whoever upfront that that's about the only thing I'm fussy about. If it's me, I will read them the riot act in a huge way....no small talk. I will create a raucous big enough to bring the roof down so we can address it once and for all....its really a no no for me. I just become troublesome when the toilet is left untidy.

Richy4:
This got nothing to do with marriage.. even flat mates does things like that...

I remembered sharing common spaces while in Uni, the Chinese landlord that rented the student accommodation wrote in the kitchen " your mother is not here, Please clean after yourself.

@OP:

1. Keeping nagging till they change;
2. Do something they don't like to drive the impact;
3. Join them in leaving it dirty till big cleaning day;
4. Always nag while cleaning it;
5. Put measures in place to mitigate about repetition;
6. Clean it in peace

Choose either one or all six as you like

You are spoilt for choice

As a neat freak, I don't tolerate grossness or yuckyness. Unless they're incapacitated, every adult should know how to clean up after themselves.

Just tell them in a reasonable way, show them what to do and do it without complain. They should pick the message over time.

Richy4:
This got nothing to do with marriage.. even flat mates does things like that...

I remembered sharing common spaces while in Uni, the Chinese landlord that rented the student accommodation wrote in the kitchen " your mother is not here, Please clean after yourself.

Funny @ the last statement.

Gosh this one is ADULT sitting not "baby".

sisisioge:
Hmmmm....I feel you. One of the issues I have with sharing my space with anyone is how they leave the toilet. I always always tell whoever upfront that that's about the only thing I'm fussy about. If it's me, I will read them the riot act in a huge way....no small talk. I will create a raucous big enough to bring the roof down so we can address it once and for all....its really a no no for me. I just become troublesome when the toilet is left untidy.

I swear this gansta approach is ok, it irritates the hell out of me, i can nag on it, keep monitoring their usage, like jump into the mess and nag while cleaning it. Well, correction will be taken, give it a day or two they're back at it. It goes on and on. I wish everybody can have his/her own facilities.

Richy4:
This got nothing to do with marriage.. even flat mates does things like that...

I remembered sharing common spaces while in Uni, the Chinese landlord that rented the student accommodation wrote in the kitchen " your mother is not here, Please clean after yourself.

i am that landlord.

bukatyne:
@OP:

1. Keeping nagging till they change;
2. Do something they don't like to drive the impact;
3. Join them in leaving it dirty till big cleaning day;
4. Always nag while cleaning it;
5. Put measures in place to mitigate about repetition;
6. Clean it in peace

Choose either one or all six as you like

You are spoilt for choice

I can do all this except no. 3, i won't even know when i am cleaning it. As in i can't just over look, it will just be chuking my eyes

GboyegaD:
Just tell them in a reasonable way, show them what to do and do it without complain. They should pick the message over time.

InTheCloudySky:
As a neat freak, I don't tolerate grossness or yuckyness. Unless they're incapacitated, every adult should know how to clean up after themselves.

Not every adult o, some don't care.

mardis:


I can do all this except no. 3, i won't even know when i am cleaning it. As in i can't just over look, it will just be chuking my eyes

That's why you are a good fit

E pele

Tokskob2008:
Say it the way it is, nothing like sugarcoating it atal. When you do these a number of times and your partner sees it as nagging without changing or improving then that should tell you that he/she is naturally dirty. It's now left for you decide if you can cope with such attitude on the long run.

These things kill romance in marriage; when you start learning about each other and don’t handle it right. My advise is say it to them politely “baby you know I love you, but I don’t like the way you don’t clean up after yourself”

That way she won’t think you’re trying to shame or humiliate her. If they continue doing it, it’s time to get more serious when you remind them, tell them how important it is to you that they clean up.

If they don’t change, it shows they don’t care and you have to decide whether it’s something worth reconsidering your relationship with them or something you can live with by doing it yourself. Maybe if your kids are grown you can have them do it. Marriage is wonderful

Spouses can be stubborn, I think intentionally too. Maybe the change you’re asking is too much for them, maybe even make them unhappy (not in this case though), so they intentionally keep doing it so they can beg later hoping you get used to it with time lol

faithfull18:

Funny @ the last statement.

It might look really funny now but that time, I didn't see it amusing as an international student whose mother was far far away... It was also embarrassing when someone visits and goes to the kitchen area
U will see them grinning and asking u who wrote that..

mardis:


i am that landlord.

Keep reminding them continuously because silence or doing it for him/her what they ought to do themselves is like enabling them.

Parents should infuse into their children the strong need of cleaning after themselves and let the father and mother be living examples of cleaning after themselves, thereby becoming models to their children who will become adults tomorrow and will feel at ease cleaning after themselves.

There are homes where they don't clean after themselves and is a non-issue as they have normalized it. Getting married to a person from such family is.....so help me God!

mardis:
Yes as the aforementioned says, some partners boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife have the nonchalant attitude towards cleaning up for example leaving soap scum all over the bathroom door, wall and even floor, not flushing the water closets properly after defecating, not rinsing the washing hand sink or mirror after splashing from teeth brushing, allowing food droplets or crumbs on the floor when eating. If you are the kind of person that can't over look a mess no matter how small it is, how do you cope? Because constantly reminding them is like you nagging.

Sis, didn't you see all these before marrying him?

Hian!

This is among the prerequisite for dating.
Mbok, what are we doing together in the first place?

socialmediaman:


These things kill romance in marriage; when you start learning about each other and don’t handle it right. My advise is say it to them politely “baby you know I love you, but I don’t like the way you don’t clean up after yourself”

That way she won’t think you’re trying to shame or humiliate her. If they continue doing it, it’s time to get more serious when you remind them, tell them how important it is to you that they clean up.

If they don’t change, it shows they don’t care and you have to decide whether it’s something worth reconsidering your relationship with them or something you can live with by doing it yourself. Maybe if your kids are grown you can have them do it. Marriage is wonderful

Spouses can be stubborn, I think intentionally too. Maybe the change you’re asking is too much for them, maybe even make them unhappy (not in this case though), so they intentionally keep doing it so they can beg later hoping you get used to it with time lol

You can't change an adult's encoded behaviour eg smoking, nagging and this.

Once you notice it, japa.
That's the beginning of resentment and anger. It builds up and other things will follow. Then you will forget its simply cleaning after oneself that's the culprit.

Richy4:
This got nothing to do with marriage.. even flat mates does things like that...

I remembered sharing common spaces while in Uni, the Chinese landlord that rented the student accommodation wrote in the kitchen " your mother is not here, Please clean after yourself.

I love the man