shawante:
Pastor nobody is perfect.. You of all people should know that.

If low libido is her only problem then I think you can at least bear with her on that cuz am sure you have your own shortcomings which she overlookes.

At least thank God she is not cheating on you

suffering:
From what I’ve read, God is doing you a favour out of a bad situation.

That’s a long enough time. What are you searching for in her body again? Marriages these days are long relationships. Pat yourself on the back for staying this long.
Lucky you.
Good for you and your faith.
Somebody taught all her life that sex is a bad thing unless when in marriage won’t automatically look forward to it because God gave her a partner. If anything she’ll default to her normal upbringing after a while. The church broke her, it’s not her fault.

Most menial labour is a thing of the mind. If one’s mind is not there, the body follows. She has to train herself out of old ways. You are helpless in this situation.
This is a lie or exaggeration. The truth is likely three to four months. Why aren’t you hitting the gym to look attractive to begin with? It’s obvious you’re not doing anything to make yourself desirable to her or other women.
You’re likely correct here. Her mindset is the major issue.

Her fault again not yours.

Not bad at all. Copulation is not a come-and-die situation. Sleep outside if you can because that’s the only way to penetrate her mental fortress.

Marriages become this eventually. Thank God yours took this long to devolve.

God blessed you with a good wife and friend.

Women don’t take well to such. She’ll change for a short while before reverting to default setting.

Expiry date loading.

All because of sex. Lol. I blame the church. If sex wasn’t such a taboo topic then people will become more open regarding it and many problems solved.

If you sleep around, you’ll leave her slowly. If you break off the marriage it’ll happen a lot faster. You’re between a rock and a hard place. Honestly, so far you handle the children’s bills while with another person and see them from time to time, I don’t count the actions as failing. There’s also the option to wait until the children are legal adults before leaving. Eighteen years is the blink of an eye for adult humans.

Couples therapy. I doubt it’ll change the inevitable. It will only slow things down.

eddynaira125:
Guy your wife Parent circumcize your wife, so that part when they produce that urge don cut off

So forget about sex enjoyment

Fiscus105:
The fact remains not everybody crazy about sex

Ask urself, if we have people who are crazy about sex, definitely we must have people who would not crazy. In as much she is giving u anytime you want ,i think u too should adjust.

Juicy001:
I'm not married but I gats talk something, based on my small experience
Its good you're telling her you like sex,as in,well well, but I think its coming late,
It's not science rocket or something, you've been married for 9 yrs and you're only telling her how you feel about your bedroom sport?
Well,instead of making it look like it's her fault, why not spoil her a lil bit,take her out for shopping (women love to spend money that's not theirs) once in a while, and before bedmatics get her enough chocolate, it triggers their hormones ( so I heard) and when in the act, be whispering all the fantasies in your head to her, e no get how she no go listen...just try am...
E fit work for you :)

GalaticHorde:
different women react differently to sex, some scream high heavens, some trash and wriggle about, some open their mouth breathlessly without a sound, some take pee breaks every two minutes, some convulse, some moan silently, some are stoic and soundless and you only notice their enthrallment In the way they're gasping for breath, I think your wife is the last type, know this and know peace, know that not all women react the same to enjoying sex, also know many a woman prefer penetration less that topical stimulation of their clitoral region, study your wife again, I believe your answer is in my post. And know this, you have a wonderful marriage, don't sacrifice it for mundane pleasures

MrBrownJay1:
have you ever taken the time to ask her what she desires/likes in the bedroom?! did you guys dated before marriage? how was the sexual part then? was she ever enthusiastic about sex or was it always like that?

if you could manage for 9yrs then..... hang in there bro!

whatever goes through your mind, unless you wanna divorce the babe or get a second wife, anythging else isnt worthy!

pimpchi:


Bro, I don't deal drugs plz. I only deal on adult sexual stuffs. Thanks

Gobdddd:
Strickly for the married

Good evening tweeps, my marriage is jerking. Needs a quick solution.

We married 9years ago.
She was a virgin in my Church. I am a pastor too.
Though we were not in the same state.
She was the first woman I had sex with after our marriage.
But I noticed that she has no interest in anything called sex.
She will not deny me sex, but I do not enjoy it because she's not enthused to it.

I have tried all I could to make her love sex, but all to no avail.
If you do not demand for sex, she'll not show any interest, even if you stay one year without talking about it.
And I am 100% sure that she's not seeing any man anywhere.

I took my time to educate her from the little research I made, but she wouldn't pay any serious attention.

I querried myself as to wether I do not satisfy her, on another point, sometimes, I'd last for 10-15 mins which, according to research is not bad.

Last night, I got angry at her attitude towards it. To me, she just try to open legs for me to satisfy myself and get down.

This has affected my psyche towards her.
But apart from her low libido, she is a very wonderful and good woman to be with.

So, last night, I opened up to her once again and told her she's making me to think twice and that am not happy at her actions.

Since today, our relationship has dwindled.

Alot of things have been going through my mind.

I don't know what to do. Am confused.
I can't go to another woman and leave such a good woman that have given me 4 kids.

Pls is there any known solution?

I need help.

Kobojunkiee:
In his case, he also ought to Google "No sex drive"... it does exist and there is nothing wrong with those who have that too.

Not everyone loves sex or are enthused about it.

Evaloyal2J:
Some people can be so selfish. You have a good woman with whom you have 4kids. She doesn't give you wahala just that she isn't a lion on the bed. And so your insatiable desires is driving you crazy. You want a perfect woman, hope you are also perfect.

pooozeee:
Part of her clitz has been cut off when she was a child and this is as a result of female genital mutilation the FGN and whole world has been warning about, she will feel no drive for sex due to this effect. Probably her clitz are no more there, a female clitz is supposed to trigger arousal.
People with untempared clitz usually have a huge drive for sex and you may not be able to control your wife when this happen.

anyilalaz:
Haba, the pastor no try...did he complained all through the nine yrs and four kids No is the answer, my dirty mind d tell me another slay queen don show pastor style and he want to upgrade ...
The stress and aspiration of a mother to see her kids do well and take care of them is enough turn off...

Lollittaa:
Don't let anyone shame you for wanting to be pleasured by your wife. It's your due. But have you prayed about it? I know you're a pastor, you pray about many things. How about praying specifically for this one? I hear GORON TULA fruit helps.
Sincerely, I wish you well. But please, don't give space to the devil.

Fantazy:
This is one of the disadvantages of doing church boy and girl before marriage.

Experience is the best teacher for goodness sake.

NB: I'm not encouraging pre marital sex o. Just reason am yourself

xamuel17:
If her libido becomes high, can you satisfy her
there are drugs out there that enhances female libido,
but rather talk to her about it, y'all can go to hospitals / certified pharmacist & don't do anything without her permission

cooooooks:
Talk is cheap.

The way the issue of sex is broached has led to this irrational fear in many Christians.

You're not the only Christian in the world.

There are Christian articles and research papers on this issue.

aluyapreston:
1. why do you talk like this. you have been making it sound as if he is wrong to want his wife to reciprocate his feelings. just because you are a woman does not mean you have to sound unintelligent. that is not an excuse. God Does not hate sex and it is not carnal for a pastor to want sex everyday except he wants to pray and finally nobody enjoy sex when the other does not reciprocate.

2. no vex o but you always don't know how to address issue at all. you miss point up. pls post your certificate let me check something. it is not a proof of wisdom which you obliviously lack but at least it is somewhere to start from. there are people that are married for over 20 years and the sex is still great. and dont give me the virgin crap for being the reason. Hell, everyone was once a virgin

HellVictorinho:



A person that was XYZ during courtship can become 123 after courtship.

moneyissweet:
Na you dey talk nonsense.

There are so many ways to know if a woman will like sex or not.

Examples:

1.When you kissed her for 10 $econds she will be wet down there or even orgasm.
2. When you touched her breast nipples she will be vibrating like Tecno phone
3. When you romanced her for 10 minutes she will either orgasm, get wet or drag you to slot in your cucumber.
4. When You traveled for few days and returned back,she will be the one to meet you in the other room.
5. When she finished watching BBN jacuzzi party or Saturday house party,she will come to bed naked.

In fact, e reach 50 ways.

Of what use is marriage without sweet sex?

Gobdddd:
Strickly for the married

Good evening tweeps, my marriage is jerking. Needs a quick solution.

We married 9years ago.
She was a virgin in my Church. I am a pastor too.
Though we were not in the same state.
She was the first woman I had sex with after our marriage.
But I noticed that she has no interest in anything called sex.
She will not deny me sex, but I do not enjoy it because she's not enthused to it.

I have tried all I could to make her love sex, but all to no avail.
If you do not demand for sex, she'll not show any interest, even if you stay one year without talking about it.
And I am 100% sure that she's not seeing any man anywhere.

I took my time to educate her from the little research I made, but she wouldn't pay any serious attention.

I querried myself as to wether I do not satisfy her, on another point, sometimes, I'd last for 10-15 mins which, according to research is not bad.

Last night, I got angry at her attitude towards it. To me, she just try to open legs for me to satisfy myself and get down.

This has affected my psyche towards her.
But apart from her low libido, she is a very wonderful and good woman to be with.

So, last night, I opened up to her once again and told her she's making me to think twice and that am not happy at her actions.

Since today, our relationship has dwindled.

Alot of things have been going through my mind.

I don't know what to do. Am confused.
I can't go to another woman and leave such a good woman that have given me 4 kids.

Pls is there any known solution?

I need help.

Richy4:


You are very funny and endearing in your ignorance...There's nothing wrong with someone with no sex drive?
Anyways, this might interest you..https://www.mentalhelp.net/advice/no-sex-drive-ever/

Q: Is it normal to have no interest in sex? Is it different for everyone? I’m just never interested in having sex and I don’t really enjoy it when I do have it. How can I increase my libido or make it more pleasurable?
The short answer? It’s 100 percent normal not to be interested in sexual activity.

There are an infinite number of reasons why someone may not be interested in sexual activity, whether this has always been the case or is a new development.

https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/i-dont-want-sex#1

Mydazz:
I wish Oga Pastor's wife can come and say her part of the story in all these,..... things are not adding up.
I am sure your wife is not frigid, you probably didn't allow her discover herself sexually, since you are here one and only experience.
Age is also a factor you refused to mention which is important.
Apart from sex do you have other ways of having fun,..... abi na work, work work, konji, and Knack?

Kobojunkiee:
1. Who said anything about God hating sex? He created it didn't He? He also created those who love sex and those who don't care for sex at all. So your point is what exactly?

2. Learn to read comments with your head screwed on well so you can see past your personal delusions.

The OP quarreled with his wife over her not being enthused about sex as if to suggest she is the problem. Did you bother carefully reading the OP before reading my response to him?

Kobojunkiee:
I don't believe she is frigid either and yes, he never did mention age or even the age gap between the two.