Botking:
Retired man , 4 kid already, 9 year of marriage

Retired in peace

Fucus in other things in life

Sex is not food

That's how the body of women become after many kids,

Sex will be sweet to her again when she gets to her 50th

kmcutez:
Most Nigerian men don’t know how to make love. The day I was kissed by a French man, I saw stars.

ayomilore:
Bro. Don't spoil your marriage because of what you can fix. I heard there are some recipes that improve libido, try it, you can watch some adult films together too, try serious romance prior to your lovemaking, I believe there should be improvement...
But your wife will be good for all these abroad hustlers ooo that are scared of all these local predators..

Gobdddd:
Strickly for the married

Good evening tweeps, my marriage is jerking. Needs a quick solution.

We married 9years ago.
She was a virgin in my Church. I am a pastor too.
Though we were not in the same state.
She was the first woman I had sex with after our marriage.
But I noticed that she has no interest in anything called sex.
She will not deny me sex, but I do not enjoy it because she's not enthused to it.

I have tried all I could to make her love sex, but all to no avail.
If you do not demand for sex, she'll not show any interest, even if you stay one year without talking about it.
And I am 100% sure that she's not seeing any man anywhere.

I took my time to educate her from the little research I made, but she wouldn't pay any serious attention.

I querried myself as to wether I do not satisfy her, on another point, sometimes, I'd last for 10-15 mins which, according to research is not bad.

Last night, I got angry at her attitude towards it. To me, she just try to open legs for me to satisfy myself and get down.

This has affected my psyche towards her.
But apart from her low libido, she is a very wonderful and good woman to be with.

So, last night, I opened up to her once again and told her she's making me to think twice and that am not happy at her actions.

Since today, our relationship has dwindled.

Alot of things have been going through my mind.

I don't know what to do. Am confused.
I can't go to another woman and leave such a good woman that have given me 4 kids.

Pls is there any known solution?

I need help.

cooooooks:
The 'fear of engaging in the act' is pervasive.
It stops people from even talking about intimacy. It can and had been linked to vaginismus.

This OP's issue sounds like sexual apathy/asexualism though.

A life partner is not (just) a prayer partner (for those who pray). You must be able to discuss money, plans, family, and intimacy with your life partner. The partnership does not start the day you get married. It starts the day you two mutually agree to be 'working towards marriage'.

Ahmed0336:
Oga manage her like that. Naso we too dey manage our own

Gobdddd:
Strickly for the married

Good evening tweeps, my marriage is jerking. Needs a quick solution.

We married 9years ago.
She was a virgin in my Church. I am a pastor too.
Though we were not in the same state.
She was the first woman I had sex with after our marriage.
But I noticed that she has no interest in anything called sex.
She will not deny me sex, but I do not enjoy it because she's not enthused to it.

I have tried all I could to make her love sex, but all to no avail.
If you do not demand for sex, she'll not show any interest, even if you stay one year without talking about it.
And I am 100% sure that she's not seeing any man anywhere.

I took my time to educate her from the little research I made, but she wouldn't pay any serious attention.

I querried myself as to wether I do not satisfy her, on another point, sometimes, I'd last for 10-15 mins which, according to research is not bad.

Last night, I got angry at her attitude towards it. To me, she just try to open legs for me to satisfy myself and get down.

This has affected my psyche towards her.
But apart from her low libido, she is a very wonderful and good woman to be with.

So, last night, I opened up to her once again and told her she's making me to think twice and that am not happy at her actions.

Since today, our relationship has dwindled.

Alot of things have been going through my mind.

I don't know what to do. Am confused.
I can't go to another woman and leave such a good woman that have given me 4 kids.

Pls is there any known solution?

I need help.

Gobdddd:
Strickly for the married

Good evening tweeps, my marriage is jerking. Needs a quick solution.

We married 9years ago.

She was a virgin in my Church. I am a pastor too.

She was the first woman I had sex with after our marriage.

But I noticed that she has no interest in anything called sex.
She will not deny me sex, but I do not enjoy it because she's not enthused to it.

I have tried all I could to make her love sex, but all to no avail.

If you do not demand for sex, she'll not show any interest, even if you stay one year without talking about it.

And I am 100% sure that she's not seeing any man anywhere.

I took my time to educate her from the little research I made, but she wouldn't pay any serious attention.

I querried myself as to wether I do not satisfy her, on another point, sometimes, I'd last for 10-15 mins which, according to research is not bad.

Last night, I got angry at her attitude towards it. To me, she just try to open legs for me to satisfy myself and get down.

This has affected my psyche towards her.
But apart from her low libido, she is a very wonderful and good woman to be with.

So, last night, I opened up to her once again and told her she's making me to think twice and that am not happy at her actions.

Since today, our relationship has dwindled.

Alot of things have been going through my mind.

I don't know what to do. Am confused.
I can't go to another woman and leave such a good woman that have given me 4 kids.

Pls is there any known solution?

I need help.

longetivity:
Me fight over sex this era of pussy God forbid

Lollittaa:

Christians understand that God made sex and romance for us, to be fully enjoyed WITHIN the confines of marriage. It doesn't stop intending parties from discussing about it. And if you have the Spirit of God, there are things about the other person, even things they hide, He'll reveal.

MrBrownJay1:
have you ever taken the time to ask her what she desires/likes in the bedroom?! did you guys dated before marriage? how was the sexual part then? was she ever enthusiastic about sex or was it always like that?

if you could manage for 9yrs then..... hang in there bro!

whatever goes through your mind, unless you wanna divorce the babe or get a second wife, anythging else isnt worthy!

Polynek:
A real man will b able to know what His fiance is capable of doing with ur experience during counting, courtship is a period of examination of ur partner consciously and unconsciously

Slizzords:
Mumuuu man

edego2up:
Most of the comments here shows that they are either not real, not enjoying sex, don't know the way out or do not understand partnership means.
My guy let me shock you, the answer to your problem is not farfetched, love is give me i give you, now if it comes to be that you alone labouring on the bed, very soon you are going to get tired and wouldn't like it and that is likely going to affect the mind
The what you can do is just some simple Technic, and she will come out of her closet you will be surprised.
I am not taking about teaching or training or leading her to watch a movie but, you need to touch some where in her body.. discover it.or you want me to tell you??
Many people are suffering in silence beause they think that the sex therapist have answers for them . but some do while others may not.

AdeniyiA:
There are two things I could think of... 1) she was sexually abused while younger: and/or
2) female sexual mutilation was done on her

Deep seated hurt could make her see sex as nothing, did you try to know about her past life? I can bet it she has not totally open up to you about her past

Expresswriter:
Nairaland is the worst place to seek for advice of this nature.

The last time I tried it, I saw shege.

Reading through some of the comments above, I am appalled.

See how majority of people are using condescending words on the OP.

Dear Pastor, I think your wife may be suffering from frigidity.

I may not be correct. I reiterate, I May Not Be Correct.

Google frigidity and find out more.

I will advise you consult a therapist. He or she will conduct a thorough series of tests and questionings to arrive at a perfect diagnosis.

She needs an independent counselor, apart from you her husband.

Her familiarity with you may hamper the effectiveness of your advice and explanations to her from the books you've read as you said.

I understand all you wrote.

You're concerned about love-making. It is proper for you to be.

Love-making ought to be mutual. When one of the partner doesn't respond properly it affects the performance and most importantly the psyche/esteem of the active partner.

Passivity in sex is frowned at.

Nobody would want to make love to a log-of-wood partner.

Your concerns are very much valid.

Don't allow some of the people commenting to make you second-guess yourself.

In summary, consult a therapist.

I am not one. If you need one, I can recommend for you.

God bless you.

Gobdddd:
Strickly for the married

Good evening tweeps, my marriage is jerking. Needs a quick solution.

We married 9years ago.
She was a virgin in my Church. I am a pastor too.
Though we were not in the same state.
She was the first woman I had sex with after our marriage.
But I noticed that she has no interest in anything called sex.
She will not deny me sex, but I do not enjoy it because she's not enthused to it.

I have tried all I could to make her love sex, but all to no avail.
If you do not demand for sex, she'll not show any interest, even if you stay one year without talking about it.
And I am 100% sure that she's not seeing any man anywhere.

I took my time to educate her from the little research I made, but she wouldn't pay any serious attention.

I querried myself as to wether I do not satisfy her, on another point, sometimes, I'd last for 10-15 mins which, according to research is not bad.

Last night, I got angry at her attitude towards it. To me, she just try to open legs for me to satisfy myself and get down.

This has affected my psyche towards her.
But apart from her low libido, she is a very wonderful and good woman to be with.

So, last night, I opened up to her once again and told her she's making me to think twice and that am not happy at her actions.

Since today, our relationship has dwindled.

Alot of things have been going through my mind.

I don't know what to do. Am confused.
I can't go to another woman and leave such a good woman that have given me 4 kids.

Pls is there any known solution?

I need help.

Gobdddd:
Time without number.
She doesn't even know what she desires or likes about sex.

If found out that there's pre marital sex, my Church will cancel the marriage and make it look very dishonorable.
So,I can't risk that.

From the first day, she was afraid of it.

Never showed any interest afterwards, despite spending our honeymoon at Obudu cattle ranch.

Our last babe is 2. We have closed childbearing.

We are supposed to be catching fun.

Richy4:
Oga this is just a simple matter... There's nothing in this world that got no solutions.. go to Google.. type in 'Low sex drive in women".. there, u will find symptoms, causes and treatment or how to manage it... You will even read so many thing about it

Stay away from Nairaland on this topic because a lot of people will not understand to avoid vexation of the spirit