Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

what of your dad?

Insult her back.

You no force yourself come into her house. Na she born you.

You need to be madder than her to cure her madness.

Waiting to hear mum's side of the story.

All boils down to Money... Ego ... Mula ... Kudi,.. Owo

That's typical Nigerians for you with few exceptions

It's only in Nigeria you are broke and walk up to a family gathering and for smiling or laughing, everyone feels offended.. yet your rich cousin or brother cracks a dry joke and everyone laughs so hard and look at you madly for not laughing or getting the dry joke



Move out with your fiancee, start your own life from somewhere


.

Matthew 10:36 - A man's enemies will be the members of his own household.

No stay let her be realigning your destiny with curses, Family is not defined by blood; it is simply anyone that always shows up to fight for you through thick and thin NOT someone that looks for any venue to put you down; that person is your enemy, plain and simple.

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

Moving out is the only way out. But don’t hold it against her. Just remain disciplined and CONSISTENT. You’ll succeed

Move out but before you go, sit down with your mum and make peace. Make sure you’ve got her peace before leaving.

I took the same position in the year 2011 and I have every reason to thank God. Though mine was not with my mum but my big bro wife.

God bless your plan.

There is no peace any where in the world....only you can give yourself peace my dear

Dissap:
Nigerian women are all WHORES!

Including ur mom?

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

I will only comment on business side of you.
Put up whatever you made on social media and start from there

Its possible there is something or someone she don't approve of. Find out what it is and tell yourself the truth without sentiments

Kobojunkie:
Hold on a second!

Not everyone is born with what you call am emotional connection with their parents units. For some it is a lifelong struggle, for others, life does not make sense without it. So, don't worry yourself too much about it. I didn't have an abusive parent and I still didn't have what many tag an emotional bond to mine. I only started developing it in my adult years... it comes and goes really.

You stated you have a store and have yet to even get customers. Why don't you wait until your have customers and have saved up enough to keep going for at least 3 months before you move out. Surely you can tune your mum and her issues out a little longer

Channel your frustrations into being the best seamstress you can be and prove her worries and insults wrong that way instead.

I'm concerned about the part where you said you don't have abusive parents, yet the emotional bond has not been there but u started developing it in ur adult years.I'm kinda wondering why.

Juliusdaughter:

Thank you. We are doing a registry marriage before the end of the year

Ma dear don't rush into marriage cos of ya mom... So u don't end up like her someday...

Fact ur mom sees u home everyday being idle n eating all her foods coupled with d fact something must have led to ur birth is d reason she's like that towards u... At this juncture i can't advise u sit n talk with her... Rather I'd advise thus;

Since u have d finance to rent a room n parlour.. I'll suggest u look for a low-cost store to rent, then find a 2nd hand manual sewing machine to buy, get an iron n table then commence ur fashion job.. like someone said earlier, charge a lil less but be sure u are good at d art of fashion... As a starter ur jobs done will sell u...

If i may, wetin ur fiancé dey talk about the whole issue?

Are you asking for solution or taking the solution. You should know that, you are do to move... As far as you have money to rent a house, go on and do to start your life else where

Finally, tell your guy to do the needful as to build a family if he is really ok to build family with you... That is what your mum needed

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

Still Reading

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

My dear
Would you listen to the word of elders?


Do not move out, your mum is being hard on you cux she felt where you are isn't where you should be, improve yourself in what you do and try place value in your handwork, also try to keep up with the cooking at home, all of this aren't going to kill, in fact, it will build you for your home.


Moving out isn't an option you should consider, don't let her words get to you, she's also pained n doesn't know how best to approach the situation, but don't see it as hatred towards you, just focus on how to improve yourself in what you do and your mum will realise what she's doing to you as time goes on...

Juliusdaughter:

Thank you. We are doing a registry marriage before the end of the year

Are you getting married because you truly want to, or because you're trying to escape her?

Don't push yourself into something worse if you're trying to escape her.

She isn't accepting you two being together because he will have money later, as much as you would like it to be her reason. She is having other conflicting feelings which you may not understand because you don't know her past.

In whatever decision you make, choose not to hate and have revenge. Because that will not solve anything.

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

Just what you do when you move out make sure you succeed... Falling back home will mean suicide.

Please move out
Your mental health is really important and she’s obviously suffocating you
I moved out of my parents house a couple of months ago ,I’m barely 24 but I was done with all the insults and condescending remarks from my mother but now I’m in my space,I’m not going to say it’s been uhuru because honestly these past months has been crazy financially but I’m glad I’m on my own now
I can succeed and fail in peace
I came visiting this week since I moved out nd once I sense any drama
I’m carrying my back nd going back to my self con
I’ve never been happier tbh

Help2020:

I'm concerned about the part where you said you don't have abusive parents, yet the emotional bond has not been there but u started developing it in ur adult years.I'm kinda wondering why.

Those who struggle with mental illness can also struggle with forming some of the typical bonds the average person out there considers Normal.

Kobojunkie:
Hold on a second!

Not everyone is born with what you call am emotional connection with their parents units. For some it is a lifelong struggle, for others, life does not make sense without it. So, don't worry yourself too much about it. I didn't have an abusive parent and I still didn't have what many tag an emotional bond to mine. I only started developing it in my adult years... it comes and goes really.

Same with me. At a point, I started finking is anything wrong with me? But refused to walk with guilt because I know I'm just fine with my parent (dad), Mum is late. I may not call him for days and be comfortable knowing fully well he's doing fyn. Then later force myself to call just to check on him.

This emotional attachment to parents stuff u just said relieved me more ooo...
Thanks

Just as you said it's time to move out.

Moving out is the best option now.

Hmmm

Angels are being birthed into demonic families

The OP is not alone in this problem, just that many of those reading her story are too ashamed to share theirs, and find it needless to create new usernames to share their woes.

Most introvert are very loud in their thoughts hence the energy generated by their loud thought actuates brainwaves that interacts with the field around them and trigger the brains of demons around them, hence the squabbles.


What you must do:

STEP 1:
Do you know how to sing? Do you have a favorite song? May be a religious song? Sing it while she quarrels with you and ensure that you commit to the song and in such a manner that your rendition takes you over and your voice quietens your thoughts. Stay on the song until you feel a sudden shift in your mind/brain signal.

If you do not have a favorite song or can not sing............................
Then chanting the any of the vowels is okay, simply chant.... either of a, e, i, o u, just anyone of the vowels in such a way that your thoughts are enveloped, continue singing until you are overwhelmed and you feel a shift in your mind/brain faculty.

The point of the above is to shift the amygdala in your brain and tune to a different channel. Life we see or perceive are multi-channels broadcasting based on your choosen bandwidth. When you change the channel, the brain of your mum will no longer vibrate in harmony with yours.

The frequency harmonics that runs both your and her brain are in sync and when you do that simple exercise you are not just changing your channel, you are no longer in her threshold of thought, hence you will find peace even when she squabbles and without any trigger, she will realize she has no more effects on you.

Angels must always know how to escape the demonic frequencies.

STEP 2:
End your Relationship with your fiance:


If your background is poor, do not date based on love alone, take charge of your mind and focus on the very wealthy. Do not date a poor man for love, because you are also planning to become like your mother in future. Love alone is not enough to make marriages work. Love expires, love fades, it is energy and is always converted when poverty sets in.

If your bobo had money, he would have rescued you. So, if you do not find a wealthy person, please stay single, you can not be lamenting right now if you had someone who isnt depending on slave job of a failed government. Find a business minded fellow and grow together. I know you wont take this, and many will fight this fact. That is the reason many suffer. Majority is always wrong.

STEP3:
Meditate Daily and find your mission
Meditate daily to the ONE who built you. You are a designed being and you have a Designer. In your prayer use the word 'You, who made me'. You are going to see changes rapidly if you do these.

You know you need money, so whatever you can do to make money, whether you adjudge it to be right or wrong is not yours to judge. Do it.

Survival is the name of this game.

Aboy die it, stop whining, sail out and find your island, pin your flag and pilot your own ship, sufferings are lessons

In this kind of issue, you have to be very strong indeed. Learn to develop a thick skin to her insults, what she says does not make you, she only speaks from her feelings.
Go to God in fervent prayers, get more serious with your work and also with your relationship. You can limit your fiancee's coming to your house to avoid embarrassments.
Play good music, sing songs, dance, go to the mirror and speak positive to yourself each day. Bless yourself with positive words. Do everything to make yourself happy, then work towards moving out of the house, and live a happy life. Don't allow your mum to destroy your life, she is your mum, not your God. I wish you all the best.

My brother leave your mama house before she go finish you with insults... i was once like you many years ago....

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

I was once in your shoes and I knew I'd probably end up killing myself or doing what I'd regret so I simply moved out for my own mental health. It even got to a point that she slapped my eye for no good reason and that gave me solid stand to move out.

Your happiness and peace of mind is important

Juliusdaughter:
Let me just start somewhere
Growing up as an introvert was difficult cos I guess my mum didn't understand my quite personality, she talks about how I am not 'sharp' how I am not fashionable and whatever else she cannot really relate to. I am in my mid 20s now and she still insults me when she is in the mood.
It's funny how I am the only child she insults so much, I am her first born. I left my former work place due to Corona last year and I've been home since. I have trained as a tailor tho I don't have a shop or customer base yet.

She insulted me tonight again for cooking dinner late, she said why should I finish cooking dinner by past 7? Called me names and all that. Its been over a year that she went to the market last because I now do that, I make breakfast and dinner, I don't keep late night, I barely go out, yet she finds reason to talk me down.

She has started to insult my fiancé now too, she says he is poor and cannot take care of me, what has he achieved for himself? And the reason she isn't much against us is because she doesn't know if he will have money tomorrow. He isn't even jobless, it's just unfortunate that government don't pay their workers on time.

I don't have a single emotional connection with her, I have tried and I have failed. I think it's time to move out of the house and start my tailoring business. I don't have the finance to rent a shop and a house separately, so I want to rent a room and parlor and make it both my living and work space. Is this a good move? I cannot function properly in this house anymore.
How do I build my customer base from working in the house?

I think your mum is frustrated about something that you are unable to decode yet. She is taking it out on you because there's no one to pick on. Some parents are unable to even understand how much they damage their kids self esteem and this is really sad, in your case.
My advice for you is to see these insults as a challenge or motivation to be a better person because it will not really stop anytime soon.

I feel your pain dear. I have seen mothers that have frustrated their children lives as if the mothers na witches. It was so bad that one of the ladies was telling me about suicide. Please if you can move out, do it o. But keep on praying for her.