₦airaland Forum

ademidedavid:
My gratitude

WE DON'T MEAN EVIL TO WOMEN BUT WE NEED TO CURTAIL THEIR THREAT

dontai:
hope you sabi say men naa beast, so dey fit punch you anytime.
Hope you also sabi men naa scum, they are free to duck their maid.
Lastly, hope you sabi say men naa polygamus in nature, so be expecting small wife.
They said song no good, you claim someone sabi it's palace song.
Do to others what you will let them do onto you.
Sleep well.

Hahahhah, what is he waiting for ? I tell u i dont love u anymore, u waka. Women do the same oga and u know it. He should be a man and either stop wailing or he should go find love elsewhere. Las las, we never hear from the other party. What makes u think the man is innocent? This one the woman expressed herself he started running to social media to wail. He should be a man and take a decison.

Franzinni:
Bros nah normal levels ... women are emotional they say anything to win the confrontation that is how they are built

But I think there is more to the outburst but it profits nobody but the devil for me to start putting ideas in your head.

Just handle it in the most logical way... don't let emotions cloud your mind ... that is a. Woman's department.

Thanks cupfully brother man for these wise comment,you have healed a brother's unsaid pains.
Now We Move to the 'battle fields' (marriage) to fix any leaking roof!
.........
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Home driving training and mentoring
Offices in lagos mainland areas of Bariga and environs, Anthony and environs

Your wife is a drama queen and she needs some tough love.

OP, I feel sad for you, I went through your post and even more pity I feel for you. You're a conscientious and loving person, unfortunately, when people know they are loved they tend to misbehave and because of the love you have for them, you find it difficult to chastise them or feel terrible when you do.

However, if you love people you need to chastise them sometimes. Your wife has taken advantage of your love for her and is now calling every shot, if you do nothing about it the situation would deteriorate even more.

- She controls who comes visiting
- She's told you she hates you and regrets marrying you
- She's told you she's ready to become a single mom
- She's willing to fight and makes issues for something as little as 1k

Anyways, have a conversation with her about everything frustrating you, both this and others and follow up actionably too.

I also see you're processing Canadian visa or so and I feel even more for you.

Hopefully things work in your favour.

Someone told you her real mind,being the simp you are ,you are still contemplating..only God knows that a mere girlfriend cannot even say such to me not to talk about a wife.DEATH TO SIMPS

ademidedavid:
My greetings nairalanders,
I am married for 10years now and blessed woth 3 wonderful kids but my woman is a bit difficult.

To cut the long story short, i went out with a colleague on friday and due to the fact that the kids are on holiday, i took my wife along because she was already raising the roof bout my outing ( NOTE: I have never ever gone out without my family to avoid wife's palava).

On getting there, she complained i was looking at some ladies lustfully which was not at all.......just trying to figure out some important things in my head. After which she complained that i was drunk.....lo and behold i wasnt because i dont take beer, i only take red wine, bullet and spinnorf......which i took a red wine and bullet before leaving the house and also took 3 bottles of spinnorff ( I was never drunk with all of those)

Fast forward to today, i am very open with my finances guess one of my mistakes.........she noticed that a thousand naira (#1000) was missing in my wallet and all means to explain to her proved abortive even though i give her money for things she love like body cream, cloths and others but after all nagging, i was vexed and went to the kids room which i politely asked her to let me be at the moment because i cant withstand her nagging over a thousand naira but she persisted and i have to shut the door against her but she opened it and told me she hates me and regret marrying me.....sounded like the rapture sound initially but later realised it actually came from my woman, my mother of my kids!!!!

i still cant place those words.....could it be out of anger or she actually mean the words for real?

Please help a heartbroken brother.

Simps consoling themselves

ogbenimax007:
sir cool your mind they are all the same... My wife always tell me she regret marrying me whenever we had misunderstanding but she never 4 once think abt we going our separate ways

Old woman ,thankyou

Xilsbridalhouse:
You are thanking those young guys who are probably jambites for giving you wrong advice ? Okay o!


Kontinue!

Too many simps in this thread for my liking WOW

ademidedavid:
My greetings nairalanders,
I am married for 10years now and blessed woth 3 wonderful kids but my woman is a bit difficult.

To cut the long story short, i went out with a colleague on friday and due to the fact that the kids are on holiday, i took my wife along because she was already raising the roof bout my outing ( NOTE: I have never ever gone out without my family to avoid wife's palava).

On getting there, she complained i was looking at some ladies lustfully which was not at all.......just trying to figure out some important things in my head. After which she complained that i was drunk.....lo and behold i wasnt because i dont take beer, i only take red wine, bullet and spinnorf......which i took a red wine and bullet before leaving the house and also took 3 bottles of spinnorff ( I was never drunk with all of those)

Fast forward to today, i am very open with my finances guess one of my mistakes.........she noticed that a thousand naira (#1000) was missing in my wallet and all means to explain to her proved abortive even though i give her money for things she love like body cream, cloths and others but after all nagging, i was vexed and went to the kids room which i politely asked her to let me be at the moment because i cant withstand her nagging over a thousand naira but she persisted and i have to shut the door against her but she opened it and told me she hates me and regret marrying me.....sounded like the rapture sound initially but later realised it actually came from my woman, my mother of my kids!!!!

i still cant place those words.....could it be out of anger or she actually mean the words for real?

Please help a heartbroken brother.

Kandeed:
This is hitting you hard because you've been too weak....take it or leave it being to weak on women is a suicide mission.

Read some folks up there saying go to her, pet her bla bla. unfortunately for you OP that's not the language a woman understands. if she said all that, the next thing you should do is not go to her or ask why (you'd only ensure something worse than that is said to you again) let her come herself begging .

Tbh I still don't understand how men find it hard to put women in their place and act manly like true House Heads.

You never jam crazy woman

reddingtonblack:
@ademidedavid, wow you've being married for ten years nd you still take the words of a nagging wife to heart ..ALOL ! bro haba naw you should know women better by now there is nothing they can't say when angry, a man must learn to take there words with pinch of salt.
Naturally, women are secretive when it comes to expressing there true feelings hence why i see them as sarcastic being, there is no way to know if a woman loves you or not other than her commitment. Bro i am even surprise you're just hearing 'i hate you" after 10yrs your wife must have being very discipline TBH its nothings let her moves count

As in ehn!!!! you just aired entirely my opinions on this matter

GabrielJ214:
You never jam crazy woman

And crazy woman never jam me

The

ademidedavid:
My greetings nairalanders,
I am married for 10years now and blessed woth 3 wonderful kids but my woman is a bit difficult.

...
i still cant place those words.....could it be out of anger or she actually mean the words for real?

Please help a heartbroken brother.

She meant everything she said and she has been holding it for years. Go and do a paternity test on all the 3 children. If you're lucky one of the 3 kids may be yours.

And going forward, just know you are living next to a snake, she can strike at you at any time. You can't change her. You are at risk.

RightToReject:
No matter how you might try hard to gloss over the fact that you're not happy with your position in the union, and by extension, do not have the kind of liberty and peace of mind you desire, the fact remains glaring to me. Unfortunately, your condition will get worse if you embrace the idea of infantilizing her petty attitudes and trivializing her cruel words and acts like most have suggested to you - treat her as a grown-up woman and always expect her to act as one. The more you enable these vices, the more they fester, thereby draining and ruining you. Take your mental, psychological, and emotional health seriously for your good; stop jeopardizing them. So far, you have been using servility to sustain your relationship with her. I do not envy you. Servility is as bad as cruelty; neither condone them nor expect and accept them from others.

Love your wife, but don't pander to her whims and caprices. Pandering to her whims and caprices is not love/maturity/civility. Enact an ethical philosophy that will be binding to everyone; let it be both a standard and a bond that will hold the two of you. So far, you have neither been in the driving seat of your home nor your dominion. You've been subjugated. To take your rightful position in the union, squash your subsisting emotional connection with her which was based on the lust you have for her from the inception of your contact with her, and which is the reason why she has been meting out abuses, not just having authority over you. You've been a slave to your lust all this while. Let any new emotional connection you will have with her stem from the quality of her soul (submission/fairness) rather than her physical beauty/material possessions. That is the difference between loving your wife and falling in love with your wife. This will entail you giving up lust/greed and saying good-bye to feeble-mindedness. You can get this done fast if you have some knowledge about mental/psychological transmutation.

So, you must be scrupulous and gumptious; else, you cannot make an effective change or lead fairly. When you succeed, it will be a win-win situation for you, her, the children, and the family at large, with everyone in a healthy state of mental, emotional, and psychological health. If she truly hates you, however, or has never had an altruistic interest in you or has always had ruinous intent towards you, she'll resist every attempt you will make to institutionalize fairness for all as the order of the day and would rather wish to opt out of the union. So, if you will be afraid to lose her in principle, then remain subjugable to her. If she rejects love/fairness, and if you don't want her to wittingly or unwittingly opt-out of the union, give her an overdose of her medicine so that she will become a slave to you instead.

One of the highest and most fulfilling points of living is reaching the height of not minding losing anyone/anything in principle and staying conscientious.

]I have been with my wife for 20years, married for 10years. This is the most complete comment I have read here, most of the previous comments are one sided, @OP take this advice, use dictionary if u have to, if not at 70 years u will realised u stop living the day u got married

Wrong advice..until he dies?

sola12:
U are lucky boss... She is still crazily in luv with u. She is only trying to protect n preserve her territory. Draw her close n give her better piping. Moreso women could be funny at times wen they are angry. Learn to forgive and forget!!!

Oga if you don't start correcting your mistakes now you might end up dead..how can you be taking your family along with you every time you are going out(every time is bad)those people you hang po it with do they come with their families too?you can take them along some times but not always..how can you be explaining missing 1,000? women do too much..when they have a good man they would want to take advantage of him.. imagine having to explain how 1,000 got missing and it even became a very big problem..I can't imagine how many times you explain things in that how and how much you do to avoid problems..
If I were you I would change.. sit her down and give her a serious warning..that she needs to stop nagging and picking faults thereby making the house uncomfortable for you,that any other day she tries it you wouldn't take it lightly with her and if she dares any rubbish again just leave the house for days and come back when you like..when you come back do not explain anything even if you make peace with her..be ready for the malic that will come with this correction you are about to make..if she decides not to talk to you for days just let her have her time and any time she decides she is done with her malic then you start your own until she begs and promises to change..you are weak and she knows this that's why she is treating you like a child.

ademidedavid:
My greetings nairalanders,
I am married for 10years now and blessed woth 3 wonderful kids but my woman is a bit difficult.

To cut the long story short, i went out with a colleague on friday and due to the fact that the kids are on holiday, i took my wife along because she was already raising the roof bout my outing ( NOTE: I have never ever gone out without my family to avoid wife's palava).

On getting there, she complained i was looking at some ladies lustfully which was not at all.......just trying to figure out some important things in my head. After which she complained that i was drunk.....lo and behold i wasnt because i dont take beer, i only take red wine, bullet and spinnorf......which i took a red wine and bullet before leaving the house and also took 3 bottles of spinnorff ( I was never drunk with all of those)

Fast forward to today, i am very open with my finances guess one of my mistakes.........she noticed that a thousand naira (#1000) was missing in my wallet and all means to explain to her proved abortive even though i give her money for things she love like body cream, cloths and others but after all nagging, i was vexed and went to the kids room which i politely asked her to let me be at the moment because i cant withstand her nagging over a thousand naira but she persisted and i have to shut the door against her but she opened it and told me she hates me and regret marrying me.....sounded like the rapture sound initially but later realised it actually came from my woman, my mother of my kids!!!!

i still cant place those words.....could it be out of anger or she actually mean the words for real?

Please help a heartbroken brother.

Kandeed:
This is hitting you hard because you've been too weak....take it or leave it being to weak on women is a suicide mission.

Read some folks up there saying go to her, pet her bla bla. unfortunately for you OP that's not the language a woman understands. if she said all that, the next thing you should do is not go to her or ask why (you'd only ensure something worse than that is said to you again) let her come herself begging .

Tbh I still don't understand how men find it hard to put women in their place and act manly like true House Heads.

Exactly. A lot of men roaming around nowadays not acting like real men anoymore.
its like fathers failed to teach men how to be real men.

OP If she opened her mouth to tell you she regrets marrying you then you should never take that likely. In anger people say what is truly in their hearts forget apologies. Even if they apologize it has already come out of their mouth.
Especially if it comes from a woman that is always nagging, closemarking you up and down and accusing you of cheating, then tells you such a thing during that period Watch her carefully she might jut have started cheating or about to start cheating and she is conditioning her mind to justify to herself what she is about to do.
first pray to God about it and make sure you ditance yourself from her for at least 2 weeks. Dont show her any affection or reassurance that you used to. You have to make her chase you again by acting first before she messes up outside.
kill that possible attention shes being distracted by outside by distancing yourself so she wonders if she is about losing her home.

If he asks whats wrong ignore her totally. Be a man and let her come begging and chasing you. If she truly hates you that is when you will know because she wont beg for forgiveness. Then you know yo need to moveon with your life and kids.

simple.

I have no right to comment here as a single guy but based on experience from neighbors and immediate family around I'll advice you to bring that new attitude to a halt. They always try to see how you react the first time they try it, if it sells they continue using it but if it doesn't they refrain from it.
God help you Sir

ademidedavid:
Do you live with him and his wife?

All marriages are happy outside except the truth be told.

Dont be deceived bro......If you see my marrige on a norms you will never ever suspect their are internal issues.

Bro, it will pay you more to focus on yourself and how to please your wife to forgive you for hurting you. Polygamists are known to live happier, healthier and longer than monogamists. Leave Ned Nwoko Alone and work on yourself. Just try your best to apologies to your wife, buy her more gifts and hand over all of your salaries to her so she can decides how much you need for your upkeep. You need to completely submit to your wife so that peace can reign.

1kinggy:
She meant everything she said and she has been holding it for years. Go and do a paternity test on all the 3 children. If you're lucky one of the 3 kids may be yours.

And going forward, just know you are living next to a snake, she can strike at you at any time. You can't change her. You are at risk.

This came to my mind. I wonder why no one else even thought to that angle.
Well sha, all man to himself oo.

AsianTotal:
Bro, it will pay you more to focus on yourself and how to please your wife to forgive you for hurting you. Polygamists are known to live happier, healthier and longer than monogamists. Leave Ned Nwoko Alone and work on yourself. Just try your best to apologies to your wife, buy her more gifts and hand over all of your salaries to her so she can decides how much you need for your upkeep. You need to completely submit to your wife so that peace can reign.

Okay, i understand you........thanks so much.

sandra50:
Oga if you don't start correcting your mistakes now you might end up dead..how can you be taking your family along with you every time you are going out(every time is bad)those people you hang po it with do they come with their families too?you can take them along some times but not always..how can you be explaining missing 1,000? women do too much..when they have a good man they would want to take advantage of him.. imagine having to explain how 1,000 got missing and it even became a very big problem..I can't imagine how many times you explain things in that how and how much you do to avoid problems..
If I were you I would change.. sit her down and give her a serious warning..that she needs to stop nagging and picking faults thereby making the house uncomfortable for you,that any other day she tries it you wouldn't take it lightly with her and if she dares any rubbish again just leave the house for days and come back when you like..when you come back do not explain anything even if you make peace with her..be ready for the malic that will come with this correction you are about to make..if she decides not to talk to you for days just let her have her time and any time she decides she is done with her malic then you start your own until she begs and promises to change..you are weak and she knows this that's why she is treating you like a child.

Brother, as if you are with me....this is exactly what i have been and it really pays off now and keeping her calm.....anything she believes i do not owe her explanations and i really have peace of mind.

Hmmn! Thank God for the type of woman you. Marry...some of us ain't lucky....if my woman tell me that kind thing...e no go even move me..we dun hear the one wey pass that.

1kinggy:
She meant everything she said and she has been holding it for years. Go and do a paternity test on all the 3 children. If you're lucky one of the 3 kids may be yours.

And going forward, just know you are living next to a snake, she can strike at you at any time. You can't change her. You are at risk.

Ah, i dont want to think towards this angle at all.....altgough the 3 kids look so so much like me, they are the kind that cannot be denied.


Thanks so much

GabrielJ214:
As in ehn!!!! you just aired entirely my opinions on this matter

But those words can be fustrating at times......any ways, thanks

Mgtow8:
Too many simps in this thread for my liking WOW

Not been a simp but just giving enough room to fight a good fight when the time comes

Mgtow8:
Someone told you her real mind,being the simp you are ,you are still contemplating..only God knows that a mere girlfriend cannot even say such to me not to talk about a wife.DEATH TO SIMPS

Please, be patient with ladies before you commit murder.

Akuruoulo:
WE DON'T MEAN EVIL TO WOMEN BUT WE NEED TO CURTAIL THEIR THREAT

But we shouldn't curtail with threats to our own detriment......

Akuruoulo:
Bro it's very good u save ur home from any form of scene, and I bet u don't have intimate female friends would want to visit your home.

As a Married man it's only ur female relatives who should visit you, and if she is not ok with them visiting, then she has a big problem.

BRO U ARE THE BOSS , AND DON'T FORGET IT.
WOMEN CAN NEVER GO AGAINST THEIR GENDER NOR MATTER WHAT SHE DID , AND THAT TELL ALOT ABOUT HOW THEY WANT TO INSTALL THEIR SUPERIOR FEMINISTS AGENDA WEDA BY KNOWN OR UNKNOWN

She only accommodates just one of my cousin because she helps with house chores.....

Thanks so much for this brother....

Peterosky:
.I have read through few of your replies, and all I can say is that you are a good husband. Do not mind the silly advice from some children on this platform. Or better still, learn never to take your marital issues to any third party. Odikwa very risky. Your wife maybe overreacting, but those words she spilled mean nothing. Again, learn never to bring your marital issues to nairaland,Facebook or even to your friend or any other person, it's very risky. Forgive her and move on,she truly love's you.And that's the reason for the jealousy,just that she's being over protective.Wish you the best in your marriage.

Thanks so much, i truely appreciate

God bless you and yours

solelymade:
Bros, you have no problem ooo... You need to switch you love language to words of affirmation. It has to be a deliberate thing, not an afterthought.

Start telling your wife how beautiful she looks and incomparable to any woman out there. Compliment every appearance, every look, every purchase, engage her with programs too. Buy gifts too, hang out more with her. Travel if possible within and outside Nigeria. But talk more about her and how much you still love and how great she looks.

She's feeling old and thinking in her mind you don't fancy her that much anymore apart from being your kids mother. Women as they age begin to feel less appreciated and threatened, their body means a lot to them, they see younger ladies and other women as a threat because you are an endangered species and the considerations in you is so great. You can see from her actions she's consciously trying to protect you because in her imagination she's at war with other women. She is only overreacting to her fears. Tell her she has nothing to fear, let your sane friends subtly tell her how lucky she is to have you.

God will give you wisdom ooo.

The truth be told, i no longer compliment her becuase she does not do same to me and does not like my job, doesnt treat me as a wife should do when the husband gets back from work...........the more reason i also stopped