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Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by 4tomandchi: 10:11am On Sep 26, 2021
The mind is a very powerful tool if you allow it's illusion to manipulate you you can even commit suicide with no one chasing you but your mind.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Engrr(m): 10:11am On Sep 26, 2021
Fiction!........ I really enjoyed the story thiugh!

The only sure thing could have been to concentrate on her memorizing the passage. When has it become a punishable offence on the teacher if the student fails in an exam?

Meanwhile, OP you failed to tell us what u did in the ozer room too or was it just chatting and laughing
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by onomeabuja: 10:11am On Sep 26, 2021
tjfulloption:


Let me help him conclude the story since you can't phantom that the writter had already eaten his own piece of wedding cake.

....so after eating the cake, he was invited to witness their honeymoon on how to give birth to the fourth child.
that mean him b de mamà d officer wife nah

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by NOETHNICITY(m): 10:14am On Sep 26, 2021
Lindner:


This is absolutely no fiction. Thank God the interviewers didn't feel this way. They had my CV and saw where I served. I later went on to do my masters at the University of Ibadan. Anyway, I have no control over what you choose to believe. Just my little frightening experience.
If ur story isn't fiction, if I was the major I would rather employ a female teacher, corper or not.
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by yusluvad(m): 10:17am On Sep 26, 2021
delzbaba:
Nice write up, try writing short stories for profit.
Do you know/have any platform that pay for such sir
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Gandollar(f): 10:18am On Sep 26, 2021
Lindner:


This is absolutely no fiction. Thank God the interviewers didn't feel this way. They had my CV and saw where I served. I later went on to do my masters at the University of Ibadan. Anyway, I have no control over what you choose to believe. Just my little frightening experience.
It's no fiction brother. I believe and enjoyed reading your story.

I have lived in the barracks myself for a while.

Secondly, I have been asked in an interview with British America Tobacco Company, a similar question.

My answer had to do with the death of a family member. After my story, these guys had no choice than to give me the job!

Lastly they asked; do you smoke?

Me: Nope!

What's your opinion about smoking?

Me; if you decide to smoke, go for the best tobacco money can buy!

Dem choke! grin

23 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by otokx(m): 10:19am On Sep 26, 2021
Nice story
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by haslaw(m): 10:20am On Sep 26, 2021
CamusMidas:
The story get as e be, why didn't the Major just come clean to the church and tell them the truth of his wife inability to read before the wedding? The pastor/rev would easily know a way to officiate the wedding without any issues.

That part even made the story looked unbelievable.

The officiating priests are very experienced at handling such things


The story na lie.
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Tobiloba24072: 10:21am On Sep 26, 2021
Lindner:


This is absolutely no fiction. Thank God the interviewers didn't feel this way. They had my CV and saw where I served. I later went on to do my masters at the University of Ibadan. Anyway, I have no control over what you choose to believe. Just my little frightening experience.


What made me believe this story is true, is your statement that the officers quarters been very quiet and the other ranks been very active.
You can come out in an officers quarters during the day, and not see a single soul outside.

4 Likes

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Gandollar(f): 10:26am On Sep 26, 2021
Lindner:


This is absolutely no fiction. Thank God the interviewers didn't feel this way. They had my CV and saw where I served. I later went on to do my masters at the University of Ibadan. Anyway, I have no control over what you choose to believe. Just my little frightening experience.
But, did you shine her Congo? lipsrsealed

..or press something?
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Graciafun(m): 10:31am On Sep 26, 2021
Lindner:
Long story!!

In an interview, I was asked to narrate a really tensed sitiation and how I navigated it.

I remembered my NYSC days, I lived inside Letmauck Cantonement, Mokola Barracks, Ibadan. Year was 2008.

The wife of an Army Officer( a Major) hired me to tutor their three young kids after school. Unknown to me, it was the woman that needed tutoring on how to read English(she couldn't read nor write). She spoke only pidgin.

We agreed the fees (weekly), and I started. She would later open up to me that she needed tutoring as well. For a relatively long time, I didnt meet the Major himself. I would have left before he returned from work. I was a teacher at St Luis Grammar school just behind the barracks.

Long story short, I started teaching the woman too after she increased my weekly fee. But I noticed the woman would rather gist with me than learn. Being a student of emotional intelligence myself, I reckoned she needed someone to gist with in that ghostly environment like the Officer's Quaters. A full time house wife and in that environment. The other end of the barrack where soldiers ans corpers live was more fun and populated . As long as I was paid, we would gist all afternoon. We soon became friends. I even stopped teaching the kids. They were super sharp, intelligent, restless and troublesome. But every Friday, she never missed my payment.

One faithful Friday afternoon, the Major came home early, that was the first time I ever saw his face. I rightly assumed all the money I was being handsomely paid came from him since the wife was a full house wife.

I stood up to greet him but I couldn't tell if he was angry, sad or just being his military self. He didn't bother to respond, he just went upstairs. His wife followed him immediately.

After about 15 minutes, he came back to join me. He asked how much I was being paid, I told him. He asked if his wife mentioned why she needed to learn how to read, I told him I assumed it was for self improvement. Meanwhile, I had been collecting money weekly for several weeks and this woman could not read jack. We would rather chat, gist and laugh.

The Major went to the TV area and gave me a card, it was their wedding invitation card in 2 weeks time. He mentioned that they never got married before the kids. In short, at the wedding, the woman would be required to read a long vow or something like that. It was a Methodist or Anglican church along Bodija.

He said, given his status both in the church and in the army, he must not be embarrassed by his wife's inability to read. That was the whole reason for the lesson that we turned into chatting sessions. He said it was mandatory that I attended to witness the result of my tutoring. The whole conversion lasted for about 10 minutes and it sounded more like subtle threats and one man trying to dominate another man.

How did the woman not mention her wedding and the real reason she was learning how to read? How could I make her read in two weeks? Should we just memorize the whole text of the program? My mind started racing. I lived at the other end of the barracks, the Major knows where I worked as well. No way I could escape. I had collected a lot of money already and I was 100% certain he would be embarrassed on that day.

I did what I could in two weeks. Attending the wedding for me was like a cow going to the slaughter. My heart was pounding and was literally in my mouth. I knew the woman could not still read even after practicing the texts many times.

It was a beautiful military wedding. I sat at the back, then two guys came and said something like "O boy, oga say make we sit beside you". Which oga? They said "Major". I knew I was in deep shit. Prior to that time, a corper colleague had to be locked up in the guard room for dating a soldier's sister. Ordinary soldier. This was a Major about to be embarrassed in front of his friends, colleagues, juniors and church members. Of course, he wouldn't beat his wife, I figured I would carry all the blame and possibly return every penny I collected.

Sitting through the wedding was the most tensed period of my entire adult life. Gruelling 3 hours!. Second was waiting for my HIV test result. Of course, she fumbled, woefully at that. It was a disaster. That moment you want to hide under the seat. The officiating minster had to take charge of the situation to save face. I'm sure he wasn't aware.

As they where matching out of the church through the guards or what do they call them. Those guys that carry sticks and couples pass under them. I was seriously looking at the Major's face. His facial expression would inform me of my likely fate. His face was always expressionless but today, it was important to read those expressions so as to know my next line of action. Either to pick the next available bus back to my state and never return or something like that. But again, there's the problem of the soldiers beside me[b]

Conclusion.

The Major didn't have my time on that day, I guess he was occupied with the guests and all. I got lost in the crowd but never returned home directly. I slept at a colleagues room like 10 blocks away from ours. I could remember, ours was block 36 Engineering block. The soldiers sent to sit next to me also probably didn't know the reason and we all dispersed. My room mate and other corper colleagues that knew the background were waiting for the full gist of what happened. That night, I was waiting for that "gulf 3" visit. Gulf car was reigning at the time. They used gulf to pick you up to treat unofficial f**k ups.

The next day, I received a call from the Major's wife to come down to the Officer's Quarters. She didn't thank me for attending the wedding or for my tutoring or say anything that I could draw conclusions on about the mood of the situation. I was too paralysed to even congratulate her. Why would she be the one to call me given what happened at the wedding? I had heard all sorts of stories about what happens in the guard room, true or untrue, I never wanted to experience any of it. I put myself in the Major's shoes. No man should experience what he passed though in those few minutes at the altar. The Church became very quiet. Some people could not even look up.

Approaching the building, I saw the Major and one of the soldiers from yesterday and behold, the Gulf car!!.

I went straight down on my knees and then on my chest, flat on the floor in public view. My colleague had told me that was the only way I could lessen my punishment. But the Officer's Quaters was too quiet and lonely to gain any public pity and possibly help. The Major looked confused. I started apologizing and promised to even refund him. His kids (2 boys, 1 girl) started laughing.

The wife came out laughing as well, but in her hands was what I would later find out to be cake wrapped in those aluminium foils for me. The Major and the soldier just looked at me as if I was less of a man, rolling on the floor without even being accused of anything yet. Apparently, the Gulf car belonged to the soldier. The poor man was not even angry at me. I died multiple times throughout the night thinking about what evil was about to befall me. But all was just in my mind.

The wife would later tell me that she warned her husband before the Wedding not to waste his money on tutoring her. She felt she was hopeless at education.





I could not help but laughed at you die so many times before your death.
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by AfroKnight: 10:31am On Sep 26, 2021
I enjoyed reading this cheesy

I’m just a little disappointed in the woman’s attitude to learning. She gave up on herself.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by tonyson010(m): 10:32am On Sep 26, 2021
Lindner:


This is absolutely no fiction. Thank God the interviewers didn't feel this way. They had my CV and saw where I served. I later went on to do my masters at the University of Ibadan. Anyway, I have no control over what you choose to believe. Just my little frightening experience.

In the army environment, they will bend u with fear. However, they love bold n disciplined people.
They(non commissioned officers) fear those that they hardly read their mind. Interaction is ok.
Perhaps because my experience is coming from where I work military hospital.
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by AfroKnight: 10:33am On Sep 26, 2021
Gandollar:
It's no fiction brother. I believe and enjoyed reading your story.

I have lived in the barracks myself for a while.

Secondly, I have been asked in an interview with British America Tobacco Company, a similar question.

My answer had to do with the death of a family member. After my story, these guys had no choice than to give me the job!

Lastly they asked; do you smoke?

Me: Nope!

What's your opinion about smoking?

Me; if you decide to smoke, go for the best tobacco money can buy!

Dem choke! grin

Smooth!

4 Likes

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by careytommy37(m): 10:38am On Sep 26, 2021
Beautiful fiction. You have a very imaginative mind.
However, no major would marry an illiterate. I mean, it's not like we are in the 50s when women couldn't attend school. Most ordinary soldiers now are even married to graduates talk less of an officer. You can say she's not smart, but that she can't read? Definitely fiction.
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by BarrElChapo(m): 10:39am On Sep 26, 2021
grin grin
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by DonOms(m): 10:39am On Sep 26, 2021
Now, OP, you will surely be blessed for making me laugh so hard this morning. Fiction or not, that was one piece of a believable funny story!

1 Like

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by jubrilELsudan: 10:42am On Sep 26, 2021
YOU ARE MOST STUPID FOR NOT FVCKING HER.

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Gandollar(f): 10:44am On Sep 26, 2021
AfroKnight:


Smooth!
I swear!
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Gandollar(f): 10:45am On Sep 26, 2021
jubrilELsudan:
YOU ARE MOST STUPID FOR NOT FVCKING HER.
Pheeew!

I believe OP is hiding something.
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Bignuell(m): 10:48am On Sep 26, 2021
Gandollar:
It's no fiction brother. I believe and enjoyed reading your story.

I have lived in the barracks myself for a while.

Secondly, I have been asked in an interview with British America Tobacco Company, a similar question.

My answer had to do with the death of a family member. After my story, these guys had no choice than to give me the job!

Lastly they asked; do you smoke?

Me: Nope!

What's your opinion about smoking?

[/b]Me; if you decide to smoke, go for the best tobacco money can buy![b]

Dem choke! grin

This is lit grin cheesy

5 Likes

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by tuboi: 10:48am On Sep 26, 2021
Lindner:
Long story!!

In an interview, I was asked to narrate a really tensed sitiation and how I navigated it.

I remembered my NYSC days, I lived inside Letmauck Cantonement, Mokola Barracks, Ibadan. Year was 2008.

The wife of an Army Officer( a Major) hired me to tutor their three young kids after school. Unknown to me, it was the woman that needed tutoring on how to read English(she couldn't read nor write). She spoke only pidgin.

We agreed the fees (weekly), and I started. She would later open up to me that she needed tutoring as well. For a relatively long time, I didnt meet the Major himself. I would have left before he returned from work. I was a teacher at St Luis Grammar school just behind the barracks.

Long story short, I started teaching the woman too after she increased my weekly fee. But I noticed the woman would rather gist with me than learn. Being a student of emotional intelligence myself, I reckoned she needed someone to gist with in that ghostly environment like the Officer's Quaters. A full time house wife and in that environment. The other end of the barrack where soldiers ans corpers live was more fun and populated . As long as I was paid, we would gist all afternoon. We soon became friends. I even stopped teaching the kids. They were super sharp, intelligent, restless and troublesome. But every Friday, she never missed my payment.

One faithful Friday afternoon, the Major came home early, that was the first time I ever saw his face. I rightly assumed all the money I was being handsomely paid came from him since the wife was a full house wife.

I stood up to greet him but I couldn't tell if he was angry, sad or just being his military self. He didn't bother to respond, he just went upstairs. His wife followed him immediately.

After about 15 minutes, he came back to join me. He asked how much I was being paid, I told him. He asked if his wife mentioned why she needed to learn how to read, I told him I assumed it was for self improvement. Meanwhile, I had been collecting money weekly for several weeks and this woman could not read jack. We would rather chat, gist and laugh.

The Major went to the TV area and gave me a card, it was their wedding invitation card in 2 weeks time. He mentioned that they never got married before the kids. In short, at the wedding, the woman would be required to read a long vow or something like that. It was a Methodist or Anglican church along Bodija.

He said, given his status both in the church and in the army, he must not be embarrassed by his wife's inability to read. That was the whole reason for the lesson that we turned into chatting sessions. He said it was mandatory that I attended to witness the result of my tutoring. The whole conversion lasted for about 10 minutes and it sounded more like subtle threats and one man trying to dominate another man.

How did the woman not mention her wedding and the real reason she was learning how to read? How could I make her read in two weeks? Should we just memorize the whole text of the program? My mind started racing. I lived at the other end of the barracks, the Major knows where I worked as well. No way I could escape. I had collected a lot of money already and I was 100% certain he would be embarrassed on that day.

I did what I could in two weeks. Attending the wedding for me was like a cow going to the slaughter. My heart was pounding and was literally in my mouth. I knew the woman could not still read even after practicing the texts many times.

It was a beautiful military wedding. I sat at the back, then two guys came and said something like "O boy, oga say make we sit beside you". Which oga? They said "Major". I knew I was in deep shit. Prior to that time, a corper colleague had to be locked up in the guard room for dating a soldier's sister. Ordinary soldier. This was a Major about to be embarrassed in front of his friends, colleagues, juniors and church members. Of course, he wouldn't beat his wife, I figured I would carry all the blame and possibly return every penny I collected.

Sitting through the wedding was the most tensed period of my entire adult life. Gruelling 3 hours!. Second was waiting for my HIV test result. Of course, she fumbled, woefully at that. It was a disaster. That moment you want to hide under the seat. The officiating minster had to take charge of the situation to save face. I'm sure he wasn't aware.

As they where matching out of the church through the guards or what do they call them. Those guys that carry sticks and couples pass under them. I was seriously looking at the Major's face. His facial expression would inform me of my likely fate. His face was always expressionless but today, it was important to read those expressions so as to know my next line of action. Either to pick the next available bus back to my state and never return or something like that. But again, there's the problem of the soldiers beside me.

Conclusion.

The Major didn't have my time on that day, I guess he was occupied with the guests and all. I got lost in the crowd but never returned home directly. I slept at a colleagues room like 10 blocks away from ours. I could remember, ours was block 36 Engineering block. The soldiers sent to sit next to me also probably didn't know the reason and we all dispersed. My room mate and other corper colleagues that knew the background were waiting for the full gist of what happened. That night, I was waiting for that "gulf 3" visit. Gulf car was reigning at the time. They used gulf to pick you up to treat unofficial f**k ups.

The next day, I received a call from the Major's wife to come down to the Officer's Quarters. She didn't thank me for attending the wedding or for my tutoring or say anything that I could draw conclusions on about the mood of the situation. I was too paralysed to even congratulate her. Why would she be the one to call me given what happened at the wedding? I had heard all sorts of stories about what happens in the guard room, true or untrue, I never wanted to experience any of it. I put myself in the Major's shoes. No man should experience what he passed though in those few minutes at the altar. The Church became very quiet. Some people could not even look up.

Approaching the building, I saw the Major and one of the soldiers from yesterday and behold, the Gulf car!!.

I went straight down on my knees and then on my chest, flat on the floor in public view. My colleague had told me that was the only way I could lessen my punishment. But the Officer's Quaters was too quiet and lonely to gain any public pity and possibly help. The Major looked confused. I started apologizing and promised to even refund him. His kids (2 boys, 1 girl) started laughing.

The wife came out laughing as well, but in her hands was what I would later find out to be cake wrapped in those aluminium foils for me. The Major and the soldier just looked at me as if I was less of a man, rolling on the floor without even being accused of anything yet. Apparently, the Gulf car belonged to the soldier. The poor man was not even angry at me. I died multiple times throughout the night thinking about what evil was about to befall me. But all was just in my mind.

The wife would later tell me that she warned her husband before the Wedding not to waste his money on tutoring her. She felt she was hopeless at education.







This cracked my ribs……I was laughing publicly

1 Like

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Jopemj: 10:50am On Sep 26, 2021
I love your story. I can imagine the fear you went through

1 Like

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by princeSammyz: 10:53am On Sep 26, 2021
Lindner:


This is absolutely no fiction. Thank God the interviewers didn't feel this way. They had my CV and saw where I served. I later went on to do my masters at the University of Ibadan. Anyway, I have no control over what you choose to believe. Just my little frightening experience.

Cofa, so you carry this story enter nairaland? I go tell major. You go enter golf and you go enter guard room. Wolahi

2 Likes

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by faithfull18(f): 10:53am On Sep 26, 2021
Interesting read.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by profMANNY: 10:54am On Sep 26, 2021
The fact that you mentioned the Gulf car made me believe your story. It was the reigning thing around 2007 to 2009 among army officers. I was in the barracks then as well.

4 Likes

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Missionaire: 10:54am On Sep 26, 2021
SarkinYarki:


Nobody will give any major a duplex in any barrack ...na here you lie

The current Vicar of Protestant Church in Mogadishu Cantonment Abuja is a Major and lives in a duplex.
It depends on some factors. The former acting Director of Armed Forces Radio was living in a one bedroom flat. He is a Colonel and was under Defence. Now that he is under Army, he is living in a duplex.
There are accommodations for the 3 Military Services and then accommodation for those under Defence.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by SarkinYarki: 10:57am On Sep 26, 2021
Missionaire:


The current Vicar of Protestant Church in Mogadishu Cantonment Abuja is a Major and lives in a duplex.
It depends on some factors. The former acting Director of Armed Forces Radio was living in a one bedroom flat. He is a Colonel and was under Defence. Now that he is under Army, he is living in a duplex.
There are accommodations for the 3 Military Services and then accommodation for those under Defence.

Vicar is from chaplaincy. ..it's different ..nobody will give a regular major any duplex inside Barrack
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Missionaire: 11:03am On Sep 26, 2021
SarkinYarki:


Vicar is from chaplaincy. ..it's different ..nobody will give a regular major any duplex inside Barrack

Sir, I repeat, it depends on some factors which includes department and appointment.
I have Majors who live in duplexs and Generals who live in one bedroom flat.
Pay a visit to Muhammadu Buhari Quarters, Military Officers Quarters (MOQ), and Petrini Officers Quarters opposite Dike park in Mogadishu Cantonment and confirm yourself.
If you have someone in the Cantonment, you can ask.

5 Likes

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Scamburster(m): 11:05am On Sep 26, 2021
NOETHNICITY:
If ur story isn't fiction, if I was the major I would rather employ a female teacher, corper or not.
Exactly even without mentioning hidden cctv cameras.

1 Like

Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by SarkinYarki: 11:06am On Sep 26, 2021
Missionaire:


Sir, I repeat, it depends on some factors which includes department and appointment.
I have Majors who live in duplexs and Generals who live in one bedroom flat.
Pay a visit to Muhammadu Buhari Quarters, Military Officers Quarters (MOQ), and Petrini Officers Quarters opposite Dike park in Mogadishu Cantonment and confirm yourself.
If you have someone in the Cantonment, you can ask.

I grew up in the barrack the OP mentioned and I can tell you he is lying ..Nobody will give major Duplex in Mokola Barracks ...Even when my dad moved to Duplex , it was to a duplex in Eleyele estate owned by govt and because of his role in the state security council at the time and that time my papa na full colonel ooo
Re: My Experience With The Wife Of A Major In The Nigerian Army by Kalubolt(m): 11:15am On Sep 26, 2021
Lindner:
Long story!!

In an interview, I was asked to narrate a really tensed sitiation and how I navigated it.

I remembered my NYSC days, I lived inside Letmauck Cantonement, Mokola Barracks, Ibadan. Year was 2008.

The wife of an Army Officer( a Major) hired me to tutor their three young kids after school. Unknown to me, it was the woman that needed tutoring on how to read English(she couldn't read nor write). She spoke only pidgin.

We agreed the fees (weekly), and I started. She would later open up to me that she needed tutoring as well. For a relatively long time, I didnt meet the Major himself. I would have left before he returned from work. I was a teacher at St Luis Grammar school just behind the barracks.

Long story short, I started teaching the woman too after she increased my weekly fee. But I noticed the woman would rather gist with me than learn. Being a student of emotional intelligence myself, I reckoned she needed someone to gist with in that ghostly environment like the Officer's Quaters. A full time house wife and in that environment. The other end of the barrack where soldiers ans corpers live was more fun and populated . As long as I was paid, we would gist all afternoon. We soon became friends. I even stopped teaching the kids. They were super sharp, intelligent, restless and troublesome. But every Friday, she never missed my payment.

One faithful Friday afternoon, the Major came home early, that was the first time I ever saw his face. I rightly assumed all the money I was being handsomely paid came from him since the wife was a full house wife.

I stood up to greet him but I couldn't tell if he was angry, sad or just being his military self. He didn't bother to respond, he just went upstairs. His wife followed him immediately.

After about 15 minutes, he came back to join me. He asked how much I was being paid, I told him. He asked if his wife mentioned why she needed to learn how to read, I told him I assumed it was for self improvement. Meanwhile, I had been collecting money weekly for several weeks and this woman could not read jack. We would rather chat, gist and laugh.

The Major went to the TV area and gave me a card, it was their wedding invitation card in 2 weeks time. He mentioned that they never got married before the kids. In short, at the wedding, the woman would be required to read a long vow or something like that. It was a Methodist or Anglican church along Bodija.

He said, given his status both in the church and in the army, he must not be embarrassed by his wife's inability to read. That was the whole reason for the lesson that we turned into chatting sessions. He said it was mandatory that I attended to witness the result of my tutoring. The whole conversion lasted for about 10 minutes and it sounded more like subtle threats and one man trying to dominate another man.

How did the woman not mention her wedding and the real reason she was learning how to read? How could I make her read in two weeks? Should we just memorize the whole text of the program? My mind started racing. I lived at the other end of the barracks, the Major knows where I worked as well. No way I could escape. I had collected a lot of money already and I was 100% certain he would be embarrassed on that day.

I did what I could in two weeks. Attending the wedding for me was like a cow going to the slaughter. My heart was pounding and was literally in my mouth. I knew the woman could not still read even after practicing the texts many times.

It was a beautiful military wedding. I sat at the back, then two guys came and said something like "O boy, oga say make we sit beside you". Which oga? They said "Major". I knew I was in deep shit. Prior to that time, a corper colleague had to be locked up in the guard room for dating a soldier's sister. Ordinary soldier. This was a Major about to be embarrassed in front of his friends, colleagues, juniors and church members. Of course, he wouldn't beat his wife, I figured I would carry all the blame and possibly return every penny I collected.

Sitting through the wedding was the most tensed period of my entire adult life. Gruelling 3 hours!. Second was waiting for my HIV test result. Of course, she fumbled, woefully at that. It was a disaster. That moment you want to hide under the seat. The officiating minster had to take charge of the situation to save face. I'm sure he wasn't aware.

As they where matching out of the church through the guards or what do they call them. Those guys that carry sticks and couples pass under them. I was seriously looking at the Major's face. His facial expression would inform me of my likely fate. His face was always expressionless but today, it was important to read those expressions so as to know my next line of action. Either to pick the next available bus back to my state and never return or something like that. But again, there's the problem of the soldiers beside me.

Conclusion.

The Major didn't have my time on that day, I guess he was occupied with the guests and all. I got lost in the crowd but never returned home directly. I slept at a colleagues room like 10 blocks away from ours. I could remember, ours was block 36 Engineering block. The soldiers sent to sit next to me also probably didn't know the reason and we all dispersed. My room mate and other corper colleagues that knew the background were waiting for the full gist of what happened. That night, I was waiting for that "gulf 3" visit. Gulf car was reigning at the time. They used gulf to pick you up to treat unofficial f**k ups.

The next day, I received a call from the Major's wife to come down to the Officer's Quarters. She didn't thank me for attending the wedding or for my tutoring or say anything that I could draw conclusions on about the mood of the situation. I was too paralysed to even congratulate her. Why would she be the one to call me given what happened at the wedding? I had heard all sorts of stories about what happens in the guard room, true or untrue, I never wanted to experience any of it. I put myself in the Major's shoes. No man should experience what he passed though in those few minutes at the altar. The Church became very quiet. Some people could not even look up.

Approaching the building, I saw the Major and one of the soldiers from yesterday and behold, the Gulf car!!.

I went straight down on my knees and then on my chest, flat on the floor in public view. My colleague had told me that was the only way I could lessen my punishment. But the Officer's Quaters was too quiet and lonely to gain any public pity and possibly help. The Major looked confused. I started apologizing and promised to even refund him. His kids (2 boys, 1 girl) started laughing.

The wife came out laughing as well, but in her hands was what I would later find out to be cake wrapped in those aluminium foils for me. The Major and the soldier just looked at me as if I was less of a man, rolling on the floor without even being accused of anything yet. Apparently, the Gulf car belonged to the soldier. The poor man was not even angry at me. I died multiple times throughout the night thinking about what evil was about to befall me. But all was just in my mind.

The wife would later tell me that she warned her husband before the Wedding not to waste his money on tutoring her. She felt she was hopeless at education.





Nice story Op, pls how do one make a post on this platform cus I have some hilarious personal stories?

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