₦airaland Forum

Orientedenergy:
Am living in my own house , built by my self, and the girl I love so much is still using me to play about marriage. She never ask for money make I say e no dey, yet she won't even allow me meet her people. I dont even know how to dump her. Wetin I fit do o, my people. Make una advice me

Maybe she doesn't like you like that, only need your support financially...like her atm
Another one, it maybe that she's not yet ready.

I don't advise a man or woman in love because, they won't consider your opinion finally. So, I'll say you should follow your heart.

Above all
Prayer and money

Hmmm am indeed shot or words.at first, may God bless the writer.you see, some people have made some costly,neive and damaging decision which has not only affected their marital life but also the upcoming generations by believing and succombing to idea or preasure that when you marry things will change for good for you without you preparing for the worst that always come along with marriage.my brother, without you having some quarlities as listed by the writer,with this present age, marriage will be undoubtedly a curse instead of blessing.

Thanks bro. I also thought of that. How can a 25 year old not be ready for marriage. I ll put her to a test, will stop all financial assistance for now

smiliyB:
Maybe she doesn't like you like that, only need your support financially...like her atm
Another one, it maybe that she's not yet ready.

I don't advise a man or woman in love because, they won't consider your opinion finally. So, I'll say you should follow your heart.

Larrysung:
Marriage is a phase in a man’s life that comes with a lot of responsibilities and commitment. According to research and recommendations from relationship experts and psychologists, it was revealed that before a man becomes married; it's a necessity that he, first possess certain traits and materials which are essential for the success and continuity of the relationship.

Regarding this article; we shall be examining some of those traits or things a man is supposed to have before considering marriage. Below are some of them.

1. Emotional and mental maturity.

Mental and emotional maturity is a necessary prerequisite that is needed for the smooth running of the union. As a man who intends to get married, you should first ask yourself; if you are capable and ready for the challenges and hurdles marriage brings. As you might know – marriage goes beyond love and mutual feelings, it embraces the whole idea of adjusting to your partner’s terms and exhibiting the desired virtues that will make your relationship a smooth one.

2. A job or steady source of income.

Yes, I know you love her and you are sincere about it; but do you have a job? The continuity of any marriage is not only rooted in love and romance, it involves the availability of financial resources which are needed in settling some challenges.
As a man who desires to get married to probably the woman of his dreams; it then becomes important to know that your love can only be effective when there is money. I am not talking about millions of naira – at least something that can settle food bills, clothing, domestic bills and health care.

3. An apartment.

Most men have reportedly married their wives into their family home which isn’t completely bad – but it is better to have your own apartment before getting married. The reason for this can be traced to the idea of maintaining your self-respect and that of your wife’s, and also to accord yourself some marital privacy.

4. Vision and prospect for the marriage.

It might interest you to know that marriage isn’t an end – rather, it is a means to an end. Marrying your partner for the sole purpose of satisfying your sexual urge or pleasure isn’t completely a good reason to marry. As a man who desires to get married, it becomes important you bear in mind that you are bringing somebody’s daughter into your house, as such; you should have a well-drafted and solid plan for her and the marriage as well. In the absence of no vision before marriage - the relationship might perish.

Number 1 is very important and alot of people over look it.

U be correct guy. I son achieve pass make one babe dey use me play. I ll sit her down and give her ultimatum to introduce me to her people. If she no meet up, na to enter the flexing world again. Local man don't stop carry carry of babes since 2019 o.

radna2:
Chances are, she has another person in line. So she dey indecisive. Either you or the other guy is a backup plan. Is left for you to be patient and win her over. But if she's not talking about marriage or doesn't seem interested. No waste your time o. Move on...there's no particular girl for any man. Just select your gbese and move on. But still know that this relationship thing requires a lot of patience. If you can endure, patiently wait. But I no get patience cos there's nothing I hate more than wasting my time with someone. I can't be waiting for return of the Messiah and be waiting for one girl.

How to dump her.
Just tell am say you need space to think because you don't know where the relationship is heading. And you need the space because of your mental health and you are drained emotionally. Limit communication.
Lamark law of use and disuse will set in. Cut financial, emotional supply. She go leave you. It won't take long

1. Emotional and mental maturity.

2. A job or steady source of income.

3. An apartment.

4. Vision and prospect for the marriage.

After having the above, I also went ahead to make my own yardsticks and I can tell you that the only part I didn't want was number 3 as my then fiancée (now my wife) was still staying in her father's house at that time .

My advice to guys is to never marry a liability.

pansophist:
Good point. But the most important of all, that will make a man strife to achieve the op point, is knowing how to love a woman. Lots of men don't know how to love a woman. They love wrongly, and when she is not responding well, it just mess up things. So first of all, go learn how to love a lady.

Hmmm oga abeg state how to love woman,is it by simping or what, This your comments funny

FalseProphet1:
No matter how rude or uneducated a man is, as long as he has money whether it's legal money or illegal Money, girls will stick on you like ants on honey, she'll even be the one defending you before her friends that education is scam and she's ready to marry an illiterate as long as he can take care of her.

This I have seen.

Don't be deceived... Education or no education. Money rules the world

You have said the truth man

radna2:
Mechionu dia. No dey abuse F-wod. There are people happily married without infidelity. That it didn't work for you does not make it evil.

Non worry we dey wait for your own story that touch here soon "Nairalanders please help me, i came back from work and caught my wife with my best friend in bed'' that time your mind go dey, na me be the leader of single but not searching BARCHELORS mtn data even last pass marriages these days

smiliyB:
Hahahaha how's this explanation Sexual Maturity... This should be sexual immaturity, not knowing when to pause, only kids do so

I don tell you my own....no near marriage

femi4:
I don tell you my own....no near marriage

Hahahahahhahahaha Me I don tell you my own oo

The only thing a man will ever need to possess in this life is his "self". Reunite with your true self and be in the right with that one...... and everything else will be added unto you, this is the glorious promise.

-Lloyd

Larrysung:
Marriage is a phase in a man’s life that comes with a lot of responsibilities and commitment. According to research and recommendations from relationship experts and psychologists, it was revealed that before a man becomes married; it's a necessity that he, first possess certain traits and materials which are essential for the success and continuity of the relationship.

Regarding this article; we shall be examining some of those traits or things a man is supposed to have before considering marriage. Below are some of them.

1. Emotional and mental maturity.

Mental and emotional maturity is a necessary prerequisite that is needed for the smooth running of the union. As a man who intends to get married, you should first ask yourself; if you are capable and ready for the challenges and hurdles marriage brings. As you might know – marriage goes beyond love and mutual feelings, it embraces the whole idea of adjusting to your partner’s terms and exhibiting the desired virtues that will make your relationship a smooth one.

2. A job or steady source of income.

Yes, I know you love her and you are sincere about it; but do you have a job? The continuity of any marriage is not only rooted in love and romance, it involves the availability of financial resources which are needed in settling some challenges.
As a man who desires to get married to probably the woman of his dreams; it then becomes important to know that your love can only be effective when there is money. I am not talking about millions of naira – at least something that can settle food bills, clothing, domestic bills and health care.

3. An apartment.

Most men have reportedly married their wives into their family home which isn’t completely bad – but it is better to have your own apartment before getting married. The reason for this can be traced to the idea of maintaining your self-respect and that of your wife’s, and also to accord yourself some marital privacy.

4. Vision and prospect for the marriage.

It might interest you to know that marriage isn’t an end – rather, it is a means to an end. Marrying your partner for the sole purpose of satisfying your sexual urge or pleasure isn’t completely a good reason to marry. As a man who desires to get married, it becomes important you bear in mind that you are bringing somebody’s daughter into your house, as such; you should have a well-drafted and solid plan for her and the marriage as well. In the absence of no vision before marriage - the relationship might perish.

Men and brethren. Be not deceived. If as a man your intended wife does not contribute to your progress, does not play a key role in your mental and spiritual maturity, did not play any role towards your financial security and has no bearing in the formation of your vision and future run oh...run like a mad man ohh. A wife is a helper and if she cannot help you when you are in need she cannot help you when you have a job, income, an apartment and all-round maturity...the best time to know your wife is when you are struggling because if she is indeed your wife she will be there to help you get on your feet if life beats you to the ground...so I say, if she cannot help you at the time of need, she is not your wife!

Modified: if I don't say this my counsel will be lopsided. Women if a man cannot love you with little he cannot love you at all. Quit looking for a ready made man. A ready made man is the product of factors outside of your control. A ready made man will easily see you as property because he realizes you have little or no bearing in his success. However if you find your match of a man and participate in building him, you will know it by his interest in your wellbeing, his desire to see you succeed, his prioritization of your pleasure above his, his desire to share what little he has with you and his undying loyalty to you. If your man does not love you with the little resources he has he will not love you when he becomes made.

Larrysung:
Marriage is a phase in a man’s life that comes with a lot of responsibilities and commitment. According to research and recommendations from relationship experts and psychologists, it was revealed that before a man becomes married; it's a necessity that he, first possess certain traits and materials which are essential for the success and continuity of the relationship.

Regarding this article; we shall be examining some of those traits or things a man is supposed to have before considering marriage. Below are some of them.

1. Emotional and mental maturity.

Mental and emotional maturity is a necessary prerequisite that is needed for the smooth running of the union. As a man who intends to get married, you should first ask yourself; if you are capable and ready for the challenges and hurdles marriage brings. As you might know – marriage goes beyond love and mutual feelings, it embraces the whole idea of adjusting to your partner’s terms and exhibiting the desired virtues that will make your relationship a smooth one.

2. A job or steady source of income.

Yes, I know you love her and you are sincere about it; but do you have a job? The continuity of any marriage is not only rooted in love and romance, it involves the availability of financial resources which are needed in settling some challenges.
As a man who desires to get married to probably the woman of his dreams; it then becomes important to know that your love can only be effective when there is money. I am not talking about millions of naira – at least something that can settle food bills, clothing, domestic bills and health care.

3. An apartment.

Most men have reportedly married their wives into their family home which isn’t completely bad – but it is better to have your own apartment before getting married. The reason for this can be traced to the idea of maintaining your self-respect and that of your wife’s, and also to accord yourself some marital privacy.

4. Vision and prospect for the marriage.

It might interest you to know that marriage isn’t an end – rather, it is a means to an end. Marrying your partner for the sole purpose of satisfying your sexual urge or pleasure isn’t completely a good reason to marry. As a man who desires to get married, it becomes important you bear in mind that you are bringing somebody’s daughter into your house, as such; you should have a well-drafted and solid plan for her and the marriage as well. In the absence of no vision before marriage - the relationship might perish.

And what would a lady possess before going into marriage?

princewarri1985:
Non worry we dey wait for your own story that touch here soon "Nairalanders please help me, i came back from work and caught my wife with my best friend in bed'' that time your mind go dey, na me be the leader of single but not searching BARCHELORS mtn data even last pass marriages these days

So you go just dey dey wish your fellow man evil. Grow up man. I no fix vex cos you no get say for my life. And most importantly, I wish you what you expect to happen to me.

radna2:
So you go just dey dey wish your fellow man evil. Grow up man. I no fix vex cos you no get say for my life. And most importantly, I wish you what you expect to happen to me.

Bro how can it happen to me when i will never marry?? Bros am not wishing you evil oh but we all just need to be careful when it comes to the issue of women, guys shine your eye

How far come teach me how to love now abeg

pansophist:
Good point. But the most important of all, that will make a man strife to achieve the op point, is knowing how to love a woman. Lots of men don't know how to love a woman. They love wrongly, and when she is not responding well, it just mess up things. So first of all, go learn how to love a lady.

Federalofficia:
How far come teach me how to love now abeg

Stop to smoke, i don warn but you no de hear word. Give up carrying olosho. Also, don't be a elevator. Elevating others problem without elevating yourself first. Then replace drinking beer and coke with water, and start to chop vegetable like goat. Now come join gym, like three times weekly, na here you are allowed to be a lift, so lift weight, not people's problem.

Jesus try am, then kill am comot. People wey him even de fight for, na them kill am. Why you wan come try? Something wey the only begotten son try he no succeed? Stage two na brain transformation. But finish stage one first. I go recommended books wey go make you change how you take de see the world. And join the league of men that by their speech, you shall know them.

Federalofficia:
How far come teach me how to love now abeg

...mad o

pansophist:
Stop to smoke, i don warn but you no de hear word. Give up carrying olosho. Also, don't be a elevator. Elevating others problem without elevating yourself first. Then replace drinking beer and coke with water, and start to chop vegetable like goat. Now come join gym, like three times weekly, na here you are allowed to be a lift, not for people problem.

Jesus try am, then kill am comot. People wey him even de fight for, na them kill am. Why you wan come try? Something wey the only begotten son try he no succeed? Stage two na brain transformation. But finish stage one first. I go recommended books wey go make you change how you take de see the world. And join the league of men that by their speech, you shall know them.

Can you please mention the books bro? Will appreciate

damoceile:
Agreed a man should have all these in place before thinking of marriage.
How about the lady, what is she bringing to the marriage?

This is the best response so far��

efficiencie:
Men and brethren. Be not deceived. If as a man your intended wife does not contribute to your progress, does not play a key role in your mental and spiritual maturity, did not play any role towards your financial security and has no bearing in the formation of your vision and future run oh...run like a mad man ohh. A wife is a helper and if she cannot help you when you are in need she cannot help you when you have a job, income, an apartment and all-round maturity...the best time to know your wife is when you are struggling because if she is indeed your wife she will be there to help you get on your feet if life beats you to the ground...so I say, if she cannot help you at the time of need, she is not your wife!

Modified: if I don't say this my counsel will be lopsided. Women if a man cannot love you with little he cannot love you at all. Quit looking for a ready made man. A ready made man is the product of factors outside of your control. A ready made man will easily see you as property because he realizes you have little or no bearing in his success. However if you find your match of a man and participate in building him, you will know it by his interest in your wellbeing, his desire to see you succeed, his prioritization of your pleasure above his, his desire to share what little he has with you and his undying loyalty to you. If your man does not love you with the little resources he has he will not love you when he becomes made.

Another good advice...�

pansophist:
Good point. But the most important of all, that will make a man strife to achieve the op point, is knowing how to love a woman. Lots of men don't know how to love a woman. They love wrongly, and when she is not responding well, it just mess up things. So first of all, go learn how to love a lady.

how to love a woman go de pay ur light bills?

Larrysung:
Marriage is a phase in a man’s life that comes with a lot of responsibilities and commitment. According to research and recommendations from relationship experts and psychologists, it was revealed that before a man becomes married; it's a necessity that he, first possess certain traits and materials which are essential for the success and continuity of the relationship.

Regarding this article; we shall be examining some of those traits or things a man is supposed to have before considering marriage. Below are some of them.

1. Emotional and mental maturity.

Mental and emotional maturity is a necessary prerequisite that is needed for the smooth running of the union. As a man who intends to get married, you should first ask yourself; if you are capable and ready for the challenges and hurdles marriage brings. As you might know – marriage goes beyond love and mutual feelings, it embraces the whole idea of adjusting to your partner’s terms and exhibiting the desired virtues that will make your relationship a smooth one.

2. A job or steady source of income.

Yes, I know you love her and you are sincere about it; but do you have a job? The continuity of any marriage is not only rooted in love and romance, it involves the availability of financial resources which are needed in settling some challenges.
As a man who desires to get married to probably the woman of his dreams; it then becomes important to know that your love can only be effective when there is money. I am not talking about millions of naira – at least something that can settle food bills, clothing, domestic bills and health care.

3. An apartment.

Most men have reportedly married their wives into their family home which isn’t completely bad – but it is better to have your own apartment before getting married. The reason for this can be traced to the idea of maintaining your self-respect and that of your wife’s, and also to accord yourself some marital privacy.

4. Vision and prospect for the marriage.

It might interest you to know that marriage isn’t an end – rather, it is a means to an end. Marrying your partner for the sole purpose of satisfying your sexual urge or pleasure isn’t completely a good reason to marry. As a man who desires to get married, it becomes important you bear in mind that you are bringing somebody’s daughter into your house, as such; you should have a well-drafted and solid plan for her and the marriage as well. In the absence of no vision before marriage - the relationship might perish.

You forgot the most important common sense

ogawisdom:
You forgot the most important common sense

It's the same as mental maturity

redirect:
*PLEASE
WHAT
ABOUT
WOMEN.

The write up is from a man's perspective. I live life as a man, not as a women.

pansophist:
Good point. But the most important of all, that will make a man strife to achieve the op point, is knowing how to love a woman. Lots of men don't know how to love a woman. They love wrongly, and when she is not responding well, it just mess up things. So first of all, go learn how to love a lady.

How can one learn how to love a lady?