₦airaland Forum

MaXiK:
Good day Nairalanders!!

Please I need your advice. My current girlfriend has all the good characters that perfectly defines a wife material plus she's a scholar and also a virgin (not particularly concerned about this anyway but to evince how disciplined she is) but sometimes she will look attractive to me and other times she will appear unattractive and I won't feel attracted to her at all. To clarify things, this changes has nothing to do with her dress sense neither my beholding senses but real changes in her facial appearance and allurement.

To be frank and sincere, she is just greatly above average in attractiveness but she's not stable in her look, she falls far below average occasionally. Also we're both dark in complexion and I will prefer my children to be lighter than I am, if not fair.

I have been trying to look beyond her look by focusing on other quality attributes she possess but the issue about her irregular look keep on fluctuating my feelings for her.

The crux of it is that I'm in my early thirties I need serious relationship; someone to build future with and finally get married to but here I am with someone that meet up with more than seventy percent of my requirements in my ideal wife but with unstable look that is threatening my feelings for her.

I am concerned about this because of some issues we consider trivial are still crashing marriages these days....

My questions:

How important is look in marriage?
Is it me that is making issue out of trivial matters because this lady is receiving a lot of relationship advances from people far better than I am and she's turning them down to maintain her commitment to our relationship?
Is there any possibility of stability in her look in the future considering that she's still in school?

Your genuine, mature and constructive advice is highly needed.

I will appreciate ones from those who have experienced what I'm currently going through.

IdreamOfUnicorn:
You're so smart

Bola146:
Silence is always the best answer for fool like you, continue your madness, you will never get out of it by God's grace. Continue

MaXiK:
Good day Nairalanders!!

Please I need your advice. My current girlfriend has all the good characters that perfectly defines a wife material plus she's a scholar and also a virgin (not particularly concerned about this anyway but to evince how disciplined she is) but sometimes she will look attractive to me and other times she will appear unattractive and I won't feel attracted to her at all. To clarify things, this changes has nothing to do with her dress sense neither my beholding senses but real changes in her facial appearance and allurement.

To be frank and sincere, she is just greatly above average in attractiveness but she's not stable in her look, she falls far below average occasionally. Also we're both dark in complexion and I will prefer my children to be lighter than I am, if not fair.

I have been trying to look beyond her look by focusing on other quality attributes she possess but the issue about her irregular look keep on fluctuating my feelings for her.

The crux of it is that I'm in my early thirties I need serious relationship; someone to build future with and finally get married to but here I am with someone that meet up with more than seventy percent of my requirements in my ideal wife but with unstable look that is threatening my feelings for her.

I am concerned about this because of some issues we consider trivial are still crashing marriages these days....

My questions:

How important is look in marriage?
Is it me that is making issue out of trivial matters because this lady is receiving a lot of relationship advances from people far better than I am and she's turning them down to maintain her commitment to our relationship?
Is there any possibility of stability in her look in the future considering that she's still in school?

Your genuine, mature and constructive advice is highly needed.

I will appreciate ones from those who have experienced what I'm currently going through.

MufasaLion:
Your solution is within you and it is that you would have preferred if he was light skinned but sadly she's not, hence the reason for the beauty fluctuations. You also want your offsprings to be light skinned or brown skin as least, but you can only get that if your partner or spouse is light skinned in order to compliment yours.

I'd urge you to think over your choice again and decide whether you wanna continue with your dark skinned babe or go for a light skinned woman that you will see and be happy with her look always.

Follow your heart!

koyyes:
Have you gotten your brain together? You give attitude when you are not impressed...who does that? It means you will be a horrible partner when the chips are down. I hope you get a car accident days to your wedding. You are bad luck to that girl

Poleski:
To you, this is a [color=#FF0000]red flag[/color], I guess. You actually prefer fair girls but decided to try a dark skinned girl. Then you became hooked after realizing she has all other qualities you were looking for in a woman but there's one particular thing missing which is, she lacks the color (fair skin) you really prefer. And it's a quality that's high on your list.

Color is very important to you and and I'm sure the negative feeling won't go away. I guess it is a deal breaker to you. I would advice you to cut her loose now and go look for the right girl for you.

Unless, you're willing and capable to overlook it, which may be difficult as this is a life time stuff, but in life you can't get everything you want. And also understand, there're things we can't do without. I'm an imperfect married man and I married an imperfect wife, and NOBODY is perfect, including you!

There's absolutely nothing wrong in ending a relationship you're not totally comfortable with. Never be in a sympathy relationship, it's not healthy and such relationship hardly lasts.

If you know in your heart that you don't want to have this negative feelings for the rest of your life, then the earlier you end it, the better for both of you!

Good luck!

Pegi23:
I just pray u won't marry a lady who uses cream to look light skin sha oo. Because na ur pikin uglyless go hear am...be with the natural black skin beauty ..don't be discriminative....

Satzen:
I am a woman and I dont always look beautiful to even myself. Just make up your mind and stick to it. But would you rather throw away other qualities she has just for 1 thing which las las does not count? I have a close relative who is obsessed with fair skin women and guess what? He will be 53 this month and still single.

boyjo:
When you start to see all your kids in dark complexion, can you be disciplined enough to feel joy?
Go on your knees and say, "Dear LORD JESUS, thank YOU for YOUR love and mercy, please guide me to make the right choice in picking a spouse in JESUS name, amen.
And watch everything fall in place

You have not committed your desire solely to GOD yet