Please I'm seriously at cross road, mostly I bring my personal problem here for your advice for some reasons and nom 1 is privacy.. I know normal people no plenty again but please I'm not here for attention I just need your advice, no need for insult abeg � forgive my grammatical errors

I met this lady years back I think between 2017, she has always been my main girlfriend tho I never display her because I had intentions to move things further, I knew her through my friend's girlfriend, she's very beautiful.let's call my friend's gf (Yemisi) and my gf (Ola) I and my friend went to see Yemisi where I saw Ola, Ola is related to Yemisi boss. While chatting I told her that I liked her friend, she said over her dead body she can't allow me date her.. At first it was funny maybe due to how she knew me and mostly hears our conversation with her guy. Fast forward...I mount pressure on Yemisi to help me through she said on one condition, she immediately went into sobber mode I knew something wasn't right I enquire to know what the problem was. According to her Ola is an orphan, she doesn't want a guy at the moment that she specifically made that decision to save her life because if a guy hurts her the chances of her committing suicide is very high, if I want to date her I should always remember that if something happens to her I'll be held responsible(she loves her and I know it) .. Okay fast forward... Yemisi and Ola came to my place we vibe and get to know each other I realized everything Yemisi told me was true..I was surprise how a pretty girl like her could survive every guys request..I can swear that even if I'm dead ola won't remarry and I love her too she told that until she met me she never enjoyed sex and she always in pains because she dated her ex out of frustration, never comfortable with him.if we are trekking she always held my hand very tight she said that since her parents demise she never been so comfortable with anyone not even her brothers but when we're together she barely remember her pasts.the phone I'm using now ola bought it for me brand new plus other good side of her
Why I bring this now is that there's this behavior I don't seems to like from her, I am a very clean person I love my environment super clean every time, matching on a grain of sand can make me do sanitation in entire house and she know it. Ola has been at my place for almost a month now (sometimes I tryna understand maybe she didn't have the privilege of good parenting) mostly I'm the one that cleans the house without minding I will just tell her to sit on the couch while I bring down everything to dust n mob she will just sit still and watch TV if maybe I'm tired and asked her to help me clean she only sweep the part that's visible to her eyes, my appliances are filled with sand because she sweeps like a mad person. Within sec she's done. what pains me is that I told ola to clean refrigerator after cleaning the inside I ask her to use the water and wipe outside also to prevent rusting this girl refused saying they don't clean outside fridge even the interior she cleaned I could see some food particles, brethren to say less I was so sad had to do it myself and she saw the difference and apologize
my question is, can she changed? Will she ever learned? what can I do to help her? I really love her but if i marry this girl with this attitude or should I say laziness divorce is sure
Thanks

Guy,if you truly like that banny, you better sit her down and tell her all her fvck ups......Na only you go fit change that banny...........No let any other nigha ginger you to loosegaurd that banny........Tho I no too dey go church but at least try remind her of the verse for Bible wey say Cleanliness is next to godliness

Las las, everything go dey alright..

Wahala dey!!

Don't waste your time op. She'll never change, she's already a grown up woman and I think she's lazy

I see so much heartbreak and separation, this I have seen.Love is not always enough, use your brain. One more advise, never marry based on love or whatever emotions you have for the person, marry someone with sense,good home training, respects people, won't want to see you unhappy, help you grow out of your shortcomings. The love will eventually fade,its all these qualities I have mentioned that'll keep and sustain the marriage. Goodluck.

Okwabie,guy you don go carry oyinbo african.then again,no woman on this earth fit complete. They must get one or two craze wey dey do dem.
guy sit her ass down and talk to her,which kind nonsense laziness come be dat one.
if she truly love you as she claims ,she'd adjust,else manage am like that o and become house boy hahaha.
but no worry,nothing dey house work,she'll change eventually. Just talk to her like a matured adult. dont make it sound like you're insulting her o.

siofra:
Wahala dey!!

Don't waste your time op. She'll never change, she's already a grown up woman and I think she's lazy

i sure say you no get boyfriend thats why you dey give wicked advice

She doesn't have any problem. Just tell her to do the cleaning the proper way or show her how to do it. Shey na because of dis nai u write dis News paper? Haba! Marriage/relationship is a school where both partners learn.

Op i bliv u are a smart dude? We are africans and the most vital attribute of a vicious woman are the things u mentioned which she lacks, i bliv no one was born righteous except Christ meaning we learn to perfect our imperfections. Just try and perfect her through the WORD OF GOD.

Whizzy080:
Ola has been at my place for almost a month now (sometimes I tryna understand maybe she didn't have the privilege of good parenting) mostly I'm the one that cleans the house without minding I will just tell her to sit on the couch while I bring down everything to dust n mob she will just sit still and watch TV if maybe I'm tired and asked her to help me clean she only sweep the part that's visible to her eyes, my appliances are filled with sand because she sweeps like a mad person. Within sec she's done. what pains me is that I told ola to clean refrigerator after cleaning the inside I ask her to use the water and wipe outside also to prevent rusting this girl refused saying they don't clean outside fridge even the interior she cleaned I could see some food particles, brethren to say less I was so sad had to do it myself and she saw the difference and apologize
my question is, can she changed? Will she ever learned? what can I do to help her? I really love her but if i marry this girl with this attitude or should I say laziness divorce is sure
Thanks

Wow... your problem requires mental health counseling abeg, not simply relationship counseling. And you both need to change some in order to accommodate each other

Now don't get me wrong, it's not just for her - her insecurities- but also for you, your cleanliness habits - reminds me of my OCD days. You both need mental health kind of help and it would go a long way to get the help as a couple .

Another option is you can split chores - you take care of cleaning the house while she fixes other things.

can’t believe you actually said she sweeps like a mad person.

Have you been to her apartment? How is it? Is it clean?

Side note: Young parents please train your kids to clean the house and to actually enjoy doing chores. Make it fun for them so they don’t end up like OP’s babe.

The moment you started your epistle with "I met this lady" I knew it will end in tears. Just pray the tears shouldn't be premium.

Whizzy080:
Please I'm seriously at cross road, mostly I bring my personal problem here for your advice for some reasons and nom 1 is privacy.. I know normal people no plenty again but please I'm not here for attention I just need your advice, no need for insult abeg � forgive my grammatical errors

I met this lady years back I think between 2017, she has always been my main girlfriend tho I never display her because I had intentions to move things further, I knew her through my friend's girlfriend, she's very beautiful.let's call my friend's gf (Yemisi) and my gf (Ola) I and my friend went to see Yemisi where I saw Ola, Ola is related to Yemisi boss. While chatting I told her that I liked her friend, she said over her dead body she can't allow me date her.. At first it was funny maybe due to how she knew me and mostly hears our conversation with her guy. Fast forward...I mount pressure on Yemisi to help me through she said on one condition, she immediately went into sobber mode I knew something wasn't right I enquire to know what the problem was. According to her Ola is an orphan, she doesn't want a guy at the moment that she specifically made that decision to save her life because if a guy hurts her the chances of her committing suicide is very high, if I want to date her I should always remember that if something happens to her I'll be held responsible(she loves her and I know it) .. Okay fast forward... Yemisi and Ola came to my place we vibe and get to know each other I realized everything Yemisi told me was true..I was surprise how a pretty girl like her could survive every guys request..I can swear that even if I'm dead ola won't remarry and I love her too she told that until she met me she never enjoyed sex and she always in pains because she dated her ex out of frustration, never comfortable with him.if we are trekking she always held my hand very tight she said that since her parents demise she never been so comfortable with anyone not even her brothers but when we're together she barely remember her pasts.the phone I'm using now ola bought it for me brand new plus other good side of her
Why I bring this now is that there's this behavior I don't seems to like from her, I am a very clean person I love my environment super clean every time, matching on a grain of sand can make me do sanitation in entire house and she know it. Ola has been at my place for almost a month now (sometimes I tryna understand maybe she didn't have the privilege of good parenting) mostly I'm the one that cleans the house without minding I will just tell her to sit on the couch while I bring down everything to dust n mob she will just sit still and watch TV if maybe I'm tired and asked her to help me clean she only sweep the part that's visible to her eyes, my appliances are filled with sand because she sweeps like a mad person. Within sec she's done. what pains me is that I told ola to clean refrigerator after cleaning the inside I ask her to use the water and wipe outside also to prevent rusting this girl refused saying they don't clean outside fridge even the interior she cleaned I could see some food particles, brethren to say less I was so sad had to do it myself and she saw the difference and apologize
my question is, can she changed? Will she ever learned? what can I do to help her? I really love her but if i marry this girl with this attitude or should I say laziness divorce is sure
Thanks

she will change,I was once like that, I started learning when I was writing ssce nd after, stayed with different people m, I picked one or two things. Nd its really helping me now
I learnt how wash cloths when I was staying with my friend at ipetu ijesha

I learnt how to sweep when I was staying alone in osogbo
I hate washing dishes I learnt it when I traveled to abuja recently..I wash before going to bed every night, woke up very early to clean everywhere...I can do all house chores perfectly

I'm Coming

debbydams:
she will change,I was once like that, I started learning when I was writing ssce nd after, stayed with different people m, I picked one or two things. Nd its really helping me now
I learnt how wash cloths when I was staying with my friend at ipetu ijesha

I learnt how to sweep when I was staying alone in osogbo
I hate washing dishes I learnt it when I traveled to abuja recently..I wash before going to bed every night, woke up very early to clean everywhere...I can do all house chores perfectly

Let's get married already �

Nawa ooo.

You can't change people, but you can be someone's reason to change ...
So no, she may not change...

I'm not tryna condone laziness but you cant find a perfect woman out there and face fact you're not perfect, you probably have a million and one characteristics she doesn't like about you... But if she checks your requirement of an ideal wife, then this one came be overlooked...

MrWondah:

Let's get married already �

oya pick date nd venue

debbydams:
oya pick date nd venue

Aha!

Let's get it done today here on nairaland, we don't need too many guests.

Whizzy080:
Please I'm seriously at cross road, mostly I bring my personal problem here for your advice for some reasons and nom 1 is privacy.. I know normal people no plenty again but please I'm not here for attention I just need your advice, no need for insult abeg � forgive my grammatical errors

I met this lady years back I think between 2017, she has always been my main girlfriend tho I never display her because I had intentions to move things further, I knew her through my friend's girlfriend, she's very beautiful.let's call my friend's gf (Yemisi) and my gf (Ola) I and my friend went to see Yemisi where I saw Ola, Ola is related to Yemisi boss. While chatting I told her that I liked her friend, she said over her dead body she can't allow me date her.. At first it was funny maybe due to how she knew me and mostly hears our conversation with her guy. Fast forward...I mount pressure on Yemisi to help me through she said on one condition, she immediately went into sobber mode I knew something wasn't right I enquire to know what the problem was. According to her Ola is an orphan, she doesn't want a guy at the moment that she specifically made that decision to save her life because if a guy hurts her the chances of her committing suicide is very high, if I want to date her I should always remember that if something happens to her I'll be held responsible(she loves her and I know it) .. Okay fast forward... Yemisi and Ola came to my place we vibe and get to know each other I realized everything Yemisi told me was true..I was surprise how a pretty girl like her could survive every guys request..I can swear that even if I'm dead ola won't remarry and I love her too she told that until she met me she never enjoyed sex and she always in pains because she dated her ex out of frustration, never comfortable with him.if we are trekking she always held my hand very tight she said that since her parents demise she never been so comfortable with anyone not even her brothers but when we're together she barely remember her pasts.the phone I'm using now ola bought it for me brand new plus other good side of her
Why I bring this now is that there's this behavior I don't seems to like from her, I am a very clean person I love my environment super clean every time, matching on a grain of sand can make me do sanitation in entire house and she know it. Ola has been at my place for almost a month now (sometimes I tryna understand maybe she didn't have the privilege of good parenting) mostly I'm the one that cleans the house without minding I will just tell her to sit on the couch while I bring down everything to dust n mob she will just sit still and watch TV if maybe I'm tired and asked her to help me clean she only sweep the part that's visible to her eyes, my appliances are filled with sand because she sweeps like a mad person. Within sec she's done. what pains me is that I told ola to clean refrigerator after cleaning the inside I ask her to use the water and wipe outside also to prevent rusting this girl refused saying they don't clean outside fridge even the interior she cleaned I could see some food particles, brethren to say less I was so sad had to do it myself and she saw the difference and apologize
my question is, can she changed? Will she ever learned? what can I do to help her? I really love her but if i marry this girl with this attitude or should I say laziness divorce is sure
Thanks

You truly love her
And she truly loves you
Talk to her about it
I See both of you lasting long if you iron out all these issues

Be ready to get a house boy or house help to do cleaning if u so love her and u want to marry her. She can never change. Just forget change..cos her case na like Buhari/APC change..Which is impossibility tense.
Peace
....
.....

@Op don't let any one deceive you, nobody ever changes. You can only manage a situation with someone but expecting the person to change is very difficult.

Have you changed from your own bad behaviors?

People who are not ready to change would be expecting others to change.. How?

MrWondah:


Aha!

Let's get it done today here on nairaland, we don't need too many guests.

u are not serious

debbydams:
u are not serious

How serious do you want me to be?
Ok pick date time and venue

MrWondah:

How serious do you want me to be?
Ok pick date time and venue

here is good den

debbydams:
here is good den

Oya na
Find your own bridal team.
Make I go find my own groomsmen

MrWondah:

Oya na
Find your own bridal team.
Make I go find my own groomsmen

it just me my friends are married nd I don't v sisters, na boys full my family

helinues:
Have you changed from your own bad behaviors?

People who are not ready to change would be expecting others to change.. How?

Everyone wants everyone else to change for them but barely anyone realizes that the better option is for that change to happen from within our own selves.

.

debbydams:
it just me my friends are married nd I don't v sisters, na boys full my family

You should not walk alone. In fact you will never walk alone again. I'll hold your hand and make sure you don't fall not falter.

No human is perfect, even you have some imperfections she will never judge you for. So, true love covers blunder. Can you be offended by someone you so love? Yes, but the solution is teach her over n over again.

Build in her the woman, you want her to be.