What your sister is doing is called slavery.

Many people, especially in the UK, have been arrested for doing this.

It seems you are on a visitor's visa.

My friend, biko, I take God beg you. Try and make your visa a student or work visa NOW.

If you can't, start saving money and plan to leave.

Given your skills, consider applying for a nanny visa. That should be a good bet, research online and contact some lawyers if possible.

With a visa, and fucken rights, things should look up.

Your sister may not care much about you. If they deport you today, it won't affect her (if she's already a citizen or PR).

Could you talk with her AND her husband about this?

Mary18656:
Hi everyone! I need your advice
First of all,I want to say I have been suffering from serious depression now, and that makes me misplace items, forget things, etc

I am the last born In a family of 4, I am naturally aan independent person,I like to take care of myself. . All my life I have not being myself, trying to make ends meet, going to school and learning handwork. While doing this, aside for my parents paying school fees, and giving me small money sometimes, I'm the one that take care of the rest of the bills through working while in Nigeria. My parents/siblings are 100% non supportive of things I do or skills I learn, and all they do is to condemn it and condemn me. I learned makeup and sewing, and I'm good at both. Many of my boss, I do free house chores for them so as to teach me well, and to give me time before completing the money I'm supposed to pay, sometimes,they insult me as they like even when I'm older than them, but I take those things with joy. So this started since 2010 when I entered the university,infact I don't have time to dress well,I just endured for all the years. Because I have the believe once I finish,I will dress well and look good, and do what I like, just like all others.
I finished everything (schooling,skill learning),2years back, but when it's time for me to rest, my sister was doing wedding, for 4months,I was the one doing the up and down,no time still, then afterwards,there was COVID-19 lockdown,then when I should have time for myself,my sister want to pack to new house, I was with her for 2months, after I left to rest, she born,I was the one that was with her for months. All this times, any free moment I have,I use it to hustle. Now after she is fine and her baby is big,I left again to my house to establish my business because I'm pretty good at it, my other sister paid for my flight and I travel to the US, this my sister has never helped me or support me with anything before, and she's very rich (recieves 1million monthly payment),so the traveling thing was the only thing she has done for me. And before I travel, I spent another 2months doing stuffs for her,I was buying things, everyday in the market(she doesn't give me even transport fare o) so i finally went to the United States. When I got to her house, for three months, I am the one doing all the house chores, and taking care of her kids,while she leaves and do what she likes. Also in US, she didn't buy anything for me, aside the foods I'm eating, which I can't even eat what I want, and her foods are not what I would eat. I connected online and started doing makeup for few people,they will come and I will do mke up for them, that's how I get small money to buy the food I started eating after 2weeks that I got here. And some cloths and shoes that I sneakingly went to buy after taking the children to school. I literally become a single mother of 3 since the past 4months, and I sneakily buy the food I eat whenever she's not home. She tells me when to sleep and control my life. Living like this is crazy and I'm depressed everyday, because I can't even have friends,I don't have clothes,I am not able to exercise or behave like an adult. I'm still being treated like a 15years old girl, and I have not actually had the freedom I wanted since 10years back,I have been living on let me endure,etc.
My sister is not allowing me to work because I won't be able to stay with the kid,and anytime I try to tell her I need to,she will be say she paid for my flights,she paid for that. I'm a legal resident (didn't just include the story).

I will be 27years tomorrow, and I just feel like killing myself as breathing is difficult for me when I think back and see that I'm still suffering after many years. And I still can't live my normal life despite I'm well educated(started PhD before moving to the US), not handicapped and I have nothing less than 5skills.
But I can't even establish them as I wanted, and not like I can't, and all I do is sit and play with kids everyday. That is depressing, it's painful to see people that aren't as smart as me,or as educated as me or as skillful as ass me living their life as they wanted,and me is just stuck, can't even eat what I wanted without sneaking it

Now when I hear people die,I just feel like they are lucky, because I have been praying for death but it didn't come and I can't kill myself

Note*my sister is not the one that cares or listen so please,no option of talking to reason with her

pocohantas:


You haven’t answered the important questions.

How legal are you in the US?

Sorry, that's not the focus of my post

Abroad where she no get rights, no money, no life? Which kind abroad be that.

Mary18656:

Hmmm, "to be this stupid" that got me.
You know sometimes I wish someone had told me family can be the worst. I wish I knew earlier, I don't have any problem naturally,I'm smart, hardworking, and everything, but see me today. When you see people that don't talk or engage with their family, you will know why. People will say, "na she send her abroad" without understanding what they have done

Mary18656:

Sorry, that's not the focus of my post

Little wonder you are doing involuntary nanny work with a PhD. Totally incapable of focusing on the right things. Sad…

cooooooks:
What your sister is doing is called slavery.

Many people, especially in the UK, have been arrested for doing this.

It seems you are on a visitor's visa.

My friend, biko, I take God beg you. Try and make your visa a student or work visa NOW.

Thank you

Oboy do you think you said anything?

chika0072:

You are just Ripe for the American life...but just relax and let her doings explain things to you well and you will react accordingly. Just chill, for few months.

Omo you be hustler, dem wan tame you but God no go gree. All the hustle to be a charity nanny for 1 sister like that....hmmm. omo permit me to say this "she wicked abeg. Bachelor....msc...running PhD(she con wan stop am)."

Pls chill for sometime...be active online, not just active...meaningful one cos wen you breakout the online go count....

It has to be the focus of her get out of prison process.

Without papers, she might as well start trying to return to Nigeria.
Perhaps some women groups could help her.

pocohantas:


Little wonder you are doing voluntary nanny work with a PhD. Totally incapable of focusing on the right things. Sad…




Thank you

cooooooks:
What your sister is doing is called slavery.

Many people, especially in the UK, have been arrested for doing this.

It seems you are on a visitor's visa.

My friend, biko, I take God beg you. Try and make your visa a student or work visa NOW.

If you can't, start saving money and plan to leave.

Given your skills, consider applying for a nanny visa. That should be a good bet, research online and contact some lawyers if possible.

With a visa, and fucken rights, things should look up.

Your sister may not care much about you. If they deport you today, it won't affect her (if she's already a citizen or PR).

Could you talk with her AND her husband about this?

LoL, I know it sounds stupid, but I'm a PR
I'm 101% legal. I have access to government benefits in different places.
And I have money to rent an apartment,I have saved$2000 with the little things I do at home, which is enough for me to get a shared apartment. But how do I get a house when I'm always stuck with innocent children,here in abroad, they are very young kids, and they love me so much.
Do you know when one needs a house,one will need to be going to check the house,see the house,etc
But I will go and check one out tomorrow,I have spoken with the agent.

You know the most annoying thing is my mom, always asking how I'm taking care of them, and I should take care of them very well. And the friends will be telling her to come for parties, that thank God now she has someone to look after the kids

Oh.

Lol. Aunty if I say you're not serious now.

Sister
- I guess you feel indebted to your sister for making you a PR.
- research and see if she could get a subsidy for childcare (usually only works if she's working) in your jurisdiction. This way, she and her husband have very little sensible reason to not be paying you.

Education
- consider doing online school. If for example, you want to do nursing, you can do classes online.
- if you want to continue in your field, your Bachelor's and Masters should at least equate to a bachelor's in US.
- As a PR, you should have access to loans, grants and if you study in a state school or community college, it should be super cheap.

Finance
- Consider a Roth IRA, investing online with Robin hood, etc.
- get an OUTSIDE job (if not going to school).

Love
- if you're also concerned about dating, you can bring someone you trust over (must be real love), you can connect with someone at church or you can use a matchnaker for Nigerians (if you want to stay within the Nigerian culture).

Nne good luck. But time starts now.

Mary18656:

LoL, I know it sounds stupid, but I'm a PR
I'm 101% legal. I have access to government benefits in different places.
And I have money to rent an apartment,I have saved$2000 with the little things I do at home, which is enough for me to get a shared apartment. But how do I get a house when I'm always stuck with innocent children,here in abroad, they are very young kids, and they love me so much.
Do you know when one needs a house,one will need to be going to check the house,see the house,etc
But I will go and check one out tomorrow,I have spoken with the agent.

You know the most annoying thing is my mom, always asking how I'm taking care of them, and I should take care of them very well. And the friends will be telling her to come for parties, that thank God now she has someone to look after the kids

cooooooks:
Oh.

Lol. Aunty if I say you're not serious now.

Sister
- I guess you feel indebted to your sister for making you a PR.
- research and see if she could get a subsidy for childcare (usually only works if she's working) in your jurisdiction. This way, she and her husband have very little sensible reason to not be paying you.

Education
- consider doing online school. If for example, you want to do nursing, you can do classes online.
- if you want to continue in your field, your Bachelor's and Masters should at least equate to a bachelor's in US.
- As a PR, you should have access to loans, grants and if you study in a state school or community college, it should be super cheap.

Finance
- Consider a Roth IRA, investing online with Robin hood, etc.
- get an OUTSIDE job (if not going to school).

Love
- if you're also concerned about dating, you can bring someone you trust over (must be real love), you can connect with someone at church or you can use a matchnaker for Nigerians (if you want to stay within the Nigerian culture).

Nne good luck. But time starts now.

Thanks so much sister, I appreciate

For house, depending on the state, you may be able to buy one (even with 3% or sometimes 0 dollars down).

I won't suggest doing that yet though.

Get something you can afford or be willing to rent out to others and share the house.

Mary18656:

LoL, I know it sounds stupid, but I'm a PR
I'm 101% legal. I have access to government benefits in different places.
And I have money to rent an apartment,I have saved$2000 with the little things I do at home, which is enough for me to get a shared apartment. But how do I get a house when I'm always stuck with innocent children,here in abroad, they are very young kids, and they love me so much.
Do you know when one needs a house,one will need to be going to check the house,see the house,etc
But I will go and check one out tomorrow,I have spoken with the agent.

You know the most annoying thing is my mom, always asking how I'm taking care of them, and I should take care of them very well. And the friends will be telling her to come for parties, that thank God now she has someone to look after the kids

I'm a man o.

But I do have sisters.

Mary18656:

Thanks so much sister, I appreciate

I don't know why its so difficult for some people to take some hard decisions that will help their life.
The thought of what your mum will say, how your sis will react and the "innocent kids" seems to be the issue here.
The only one that might bother you the most is the kids. But if you really want the best for yourself, then you have to leave asap

Am the quiet type but I don't mind what anyone says or thinks when I take decisions in this aspect, mum inclusive

Mary18656:

Thanks so much sister, I appreciate

bring me over too marry
I will be your nanny for 5 years ☺️

Mary18656:

Thanks so much sister, I appreciate

bring me over too marry
I will be your nanny for 5 years

kennethfranc:
I don't know why its so difficult for some people to take some hard decisions that will help their life.
The thought of what your mum will say, how your sis will react and the "innocent kids" seems to be the issue here.
The only one that might bother you the most is the kids. But if you really want the best for yourself, then you have to leave asap

Am the quiet type but I don't mind what anyone says or thinks when I take decisions in this aspect, mum inclusive

I don't know how, please teach me. It's not really easy for some of us,and because it's family,we try not to think bad of their actions. It's my mum that vex me the most, because she's the one that allows my sister to treat me this way. She will even be the one to encourage her to go and fun

Mary18656:

I don't know how, please teach me. It's not really easy for some of us,and because it's family,we try not to think bad of their actions. It's my mum that vex me the most, because she's the one that allows my sister to treat me this way. She will even be the one to encourage her to go and fun

If that's the case..
1. Since you've already seen a house, drop a note for your sis any day you wish to leave but don't disclose you destination.
2. When your mum calls, don't ans instead send a text across to her narrating your ordeal.

3. Try your best not to talk to any of them instead send a text for at least a month. By then you must have gathered some courage to speak up.

I hope this helps

Its good thing you have PR at least you're legal, you need to get out of that house, you have your life to live, explain things to her then get out

I would advise u have a conversation with ur sister first. Be tactful yet firm. Help her see reasons y you must leave. Adv her to make alt arrangement. Then leave. She s not God she cannot kill u. Worse she will get angry. Be courageous

Well I think I understand how your felling is because of family thing. Mhnn you need to take decision

That's make me remember when I was working with my brother for almost 7 years for free still he didn't want me to go or have my own freedom.

I talk sense into myself. told him am going for a 2 week program in abuja. That was the last time he saw me that year.

Thought it's not easy but this make me to discover myself an build myself an focus

After like a year that he decided not to talk with me or call. Las las everything sort out for good an we still get to get in touch once again

I don't even have half of the opportunity you got. When I read your write up .i Confused ohh


As a 27-year-old lady living legally in the state you still have skills dam it (aye mi ohhhh )

If I would advise you try make a good friends
In another state, just tell your sister you have an event to attend to maybe Church things from their japa an drop a Note for her.

Or rent an apartment far away from where she lived. Find a good day that she would be home with her kids. Then make your plan an drop a note.


But if to say you are not afraid as omo naija.
Declar it for her. You wonna start your own life. you won't be able to continue with the kind of life you living with her. It has to be hard decision because she won't take it easy on you either

With your qualification you should be thinking of having your own family already self with a good job lolz.

Above all put everything in the hands of God to lead you through not to take a Wrong decision also don't be fool be SMaRT.

Tunext12:
Well I think I understand how your felling is because of family thing. Mhnn you need to take decision

That's make me remember when I was working with my brother for almost 7 years for free still he didn't want me to go or have my own freedom.

I talk sense into myself. told him am going for a 2 week program in abuja. That was the last time he saw me that year.

Thought it's not easy but this make me to discover myself an build myself an focus

After like a year that he decided not to talk with me or call. Las las everything sort out for good an we still get to get in touch once again

I don't even have half of the opportunity you got. When I read your write up .i Confused ohh


As a 27-year-old lady living legally in the state you still have skills dam it (aye mi ohhhh )

If I would advise you try make a good friends
In another state, just tell your sister you have an event to attend to maybe Church things from their japa an drop a Note for her.

Or rent an apartment far away from where she lived. Find a good day that she would be home with her kids. Then make your plan an drop a note.


But if to say you are not afraid as omo naija.
Declar it for her. You wonna start your own life. you won't be able to continue with the kind of life you living with her. It has to be hard decision because she won't take it easy on you either

With your qualification you should be thinking of having your own family already self with a good job lolz.

Above all put everything in the hands of God to lead you through not to take a Wrong decision also don't be fool be SMaRT.

Thanks

I don't believe this post, no one can be this clueless.

You are in a first world country with a Bsc, masters, PhD in view, tech skills and four other relevant skills yet somehow you are afraid to speak up and own your life, working involuntarily as a nanny, smuggling food to eat like a criminal and you call yourself smart.

Let me burst your bubble, you're not as smart as you think and too soft hearted to take hard decisions.

Lol!

Fidelismaria:
I don't believe this post, no one can be this clueless.

You are in a first world country with a Bsc, masters, PhD in view, tech skills and four other relevant skills yet somehow you are afraid to speak up and own your life, working involuntarily as a nanny, smuggling food to eat like a criminal and you call yourself smart.

Let me burst your bubble, you're not as smart as you think and too soft hearted to take hard decisions.

Lol!

You don vex,lol

Mary18656:

You don vex,lol

Please take courage, if not for anything, you aren't getting younger. Your life started 4 years ago, do not delay it any further.

Mary18656:
Please many ppl here are just criticizing me,I need advices please, like steps and actions to take

sis. Mary o, why wouldnt people criticise you here ? With your current mental and physical endownments, you are supposed to be more smarter and agile than this. Na you allow your sister put you for cage. Dey there, dey do 'diye-diye'.. make you no shaka.

naxee9294:
bring me over too marry
I will be your nanny for 5 years ☺️

everyone dey find how they wan japa. You too!

Mcslize:


everyone dey find how they wan japa. You too!

lol � I dey tell you

CsRockefeller:


Please take courage, if not for anything, you aren't getting younger. Your life started 4 years ago, do not delay it any further.

Thanks sir

Thanks everyone,I have found an apartment that I could rent. And I woke up early today because I was excited to be happy once again in my life. No one to switch on light when I want to sleep, the thought of i will be able to sleep in peace Alone makes me happy.

Mary18656:
Thanks everyone,I have found an apartment that I could rent. And I woke up early today because I was excited to be happy once again in my life. No one to switch on light when I want to sleep, the thought of i will be able to sleep in peace Alone makes me happy.

Nice

The lord is your strength dear....

Mary18656:
Thanks everyone,I have found an apartment that I could rent. And I woke up early today because I was excited to be happy once again in my life. No one to switch on light when I want to sleep, the thought of i will be able to sleep in peace Alone makes me happy.

Seems like u will be wasting ur youthful yrs doing nanny job for free....nanny job were people d do abroad dey make money,,,e reach ur turn,u d do charity work.If i were u,i would jst tell her dat i cant stay again at hum.rent a hus somewhere n start my life.She does not wat to pay for a caregiver dat is y she called u.

Mary18656:

LoL, I know it sounds stupid, but I'm a PR
I'm 101% legal. I have access to government benefits in different places.
And I have money to rent an apartment,I have saved$2000 with the little things I do at home, which is enough for me to get a shared apartment. But how do I get a house when I'm always stuck with innocent children,here in abroad, they are very young kids, and they love me so much.
Do you know when one needs a house,one will need to be going to check the house,see the house,etc
But I will go and check one out tomorrow,I have spoken with the agent.

You know the most annoying thing is my mom, always asking how I'm taking care of them, and I should take care of them very well. And the friends will be telling her to come for parties, that thank God now she has someone to look after the kids