₦airaland Forum

Mercychen:
Your marriage is obviously not built on trust otherwise what would make you tell your wife to swear?

Any relationship not built on trust is not worth taking to the next level ( marriage) because it will be suspicion all the way which will eventually lead to divorce.

It was the wife who told him to swear first . Why would she tell him to swear with the Bible when she knows she can’t swear with the same Bible herself ? What she did was evil.

Eve didn’t make Adam eat the forbidden apple all by himself . She ate along with him.

Ginaz:
It was the wife who told him to swear first . Why would she tell him to swear with the Bible when she knows she can’t swear with the same Bible herself ? What she did was evil.

Eve didn’t make Adam eat the forbidden apple all by himself . She ate along with him.

I made that comment before reading the details. That was why I didn't know it was the wife who suggested the idea of swearing. So, ive modified my comment.

They were both wrong to have condescend so low to that extent.

Your words should be enough for each other.

Why isn’t that enough? That’s where the problem lies

Afodot0022:
She always have the notion that am cheating on her and have a side chick. But to be honest to you guys, i have never had sex with any other woman except my wife ever since i married her. Though attimes the temptation might come to catch some flings out there but will later decline such thought and abort any action have made to do it on the long run.. Attimes my wife will read chats i do have with some random girls and have the notion that am cheating. I know i have been wrong in this but attimes a man will want to be a man but as i said earlier, have never had sex with those girls. Just random chats that all and it doesnt go further or lead anywhere..

You have cheated on your wife, albeit emotionally but you have and she has seen the chats which are evidence of This. Anyways, just pointing out the fact which you seem all too quick to brush away.

Afodot0022:
Her excuse was that she cant use the world of God to swear but mind you she is the one that prompted me to do such at first. I even seized her phone that if she doesnt swear i wont return the phone to her but despite my threat, my wife didn't not.
This lasted for hours and i later gave up on the quest. Ever since then have not being myself and have been thinking alot. My wife doesnt look like someone that can cheat on me cos have not seen any traces as such but with this her action, its making me to have a rethink about her. Pls house i dont know what step to take as i need your mature advice on way forward on this issues troubling me. Every input will be well appreciated especially from married and experienced people.

Well, one of the many superstitious ideas widely believed by most Christians is that you never swear on the Bible.

It is obvious that the current routine you have going on in your marriage is not working out for both of you. So you may want to ask yourself what it is you did together while courting that you no longer do and may be work on bringing some of those into your marriage.

As for the emotional cheating, if you had found similar chat history as what you stated earlier that your wife found on your own phone, would you be here speaking to us of how your wife could never cheat on you?

Try hammering the rule "do to others as you will like for them to do to you" into your head - only then will you truly have a marriage that you and your wife will both enjoy in the end.

Afodot0022:
But i had the intention of forcing her to swear else there will be issue in the home and things will not go well with both of us cos its through that swearing that will make me seeing her faithful. If she is innocent as cliamed, why is it difficult for her to prove her innocent. I need to know. I gave her the condition that things will not be normal in the home again except she prove her innocent by swearing.

You both got married before the Bible...so, I don't see any reason you both cannot affirm your marriage by swearing before same Bible.

Madam dey run things or she did run things once ..
That's why she couldn't swear.. She still get small conscience and she is scared d bible will harm her,if she tries it. Some do cheat and they swear it,those ones blives that the mercy of God will cover them. I fear who no fear some wives of nowadays o.. For folks reading this.. If u wanna marry,do that for child bearing, no go put body for love matter o,except ur hrt na iron . No girl loves you o,they are in for games and their selfish interest.. That's why the "girls" are now making court marriage compulsory for some "men when no know themselves"
Anyways ,op I hope its not what m thinking sha,but in every move you make,just be careful,not to accuse her wrongly..

Afodot0022:
Good day my fellow nairalanders. Pls pardon my typo errors and will just make this brief as i can. I need your inputs in this scenerio that is giving me some sort of concern.
I have been married for close to five years now and have two kids to it. My marriage to my wife has being ups and down but have always try my best to be a responsible husband and also father. I ensure i take care of my home financially to my capabilities. My wife happen to be a good wife though with her own flaws as she is not perfect. She always have the notion that am cheating on her and have a side chick. But to be honest to you guys, i have never had sex with any other woman except my wife ever since i married her. Though attimes the temptation might come to catch some flings out there but will later decline such thought and abort any action have made to do it on the long run.. Attimes my wife will read chats i do have with some random girls and have the notion that am cheating. I know i have been wrong in this but attimes a man will want to be a man but as i said earlier, have never had sex with those girls. Just random chats that all and it doesnt go further or lead anywhere.
So it happened that me and my wife had a very serious misunderstanding recently that resulted to verbal abuse and also almost physical violence from the two of us. The last time i intended to have sex with my wife, she denied me and this had been in my mind and got me so angry towards her. So it happend that she needed my help for something and did not help, she started shouting and nagging and this got me angry and i almost hit her but i didn't. During those heated moment she started saying things about my cheating and so on. She said if am not cheating that i should swear with bible but i refuse to swear that night. Upon The following day i decided to even swear with bible that i have never had sex with any woman ever sinced i married her. I know i was innocent and i truely swear that very day to make her change her mindset and perception about me. After the swear, something happened that makes me confused till this very day, i ask my wife to also use the bible to swear that she had not cheated or slept with any man ever since she got married to me. Could you imagine that despite all my efforts to make my wife to swear using the bible, she refused bluntly that she will never do such. I asked her why but she insisted she is not going to swear. This got me concerned and was asking myself why is this woman refusing to do this if truely she is innocent and doesnt have any skeleton in her compound. Her excuse was that she cant use the world of God to swear but mind you she is the one that prompted me to do such at first. I even seized her phone that if she doesnt swear i wont return the phone to her but despite my threat, my wife didn't not. This lasted for hours and i later gave up on the quest. Ever since then have not being myself and have been thinking alot. My wife doesnt look like someone that can cheat on me cos have not seen any traces as such but with this her action, its making me to have a rethink about her. Pls house i dont know what step to take as i need your mature advice on way forward on this issues troubling me. Every input will be well appreciated especially from married and experienced people.

See how the women have come to block you from seeing the Truth which even you yourself do not want to see!

Anyway, it is waiting for you!

See as this woman take manipulate you to swear on one baseless accusation with Bible.. So many children in marriage these days!

Longsleeve:
You made a mistake of swearing with the Bible..

Una wan turn una house to law court??

A very big one. There was absolutely no need for that. And most times, those who prompt you to do the unthinkable; are always the guilty ones.

Bola146:
Swearing with the Bible is totally wrong, let your yes be yes and no be no, what would you do if you see her chatting with men Do unto others as you want others to do unto you if you did acted suspicious, she is not a fool to keep quiet, women are jealous in nature, she wants the best for her family, she is a human being too, you are the head of the family, you should know the best for your family. You trust your wife but you are still doubting or your conscience is questioning you I don't understand? Please settle it amicably and if you are at fault, you know how you settle your fights before, don't let third party come into your home. Some comments here might lead your marriage astray, don't let ego destroy you, confront her and sit her down to apologise and way forward

lol... Would his yes be yes and his no be no if he refused to swear with the Bible?? The wife is cheating cos nothing is stopping her from swearing

InTheCloudySky:
It seems like the type of cheating you're referring to is physical (aka. sexual intercourse). If she could go to the extent of asking you to swear with the Bible because your word wasn't enough for her to believe you, it's only fair that she gives you the same respect by doing the same. I know if someone asks me to do such a thing, they gotta be ready to follow suit, otherwise I would deduce their refusal as hypocritical and that they're not particularly innocent of what they're accusing me of. Sometimes when people cheat or have cheated, they'll accuse their partner of cheating; it's a form of gaslighting. It's something men do but women can also play that game.

reasonable submission

Afodot0022:
Good day my fellow nairalanders. Pls pardon my typo errors and will just make this brief as i can. I need your inputs in this scenerio that is giving me some sort of concern.
I have been married for close to five years now and have two kids to it. My marriage to my wife has being ups and down but have always try my best to be a responsible husband and also father. I ensure i take care of my home financially to my capabilities. My wife happen to be a good wife though with her own flaws as she is not perfect. She always have the notion that am cheating on her and have a side chick. But to be honest to you guys, i have never had sex with any other woman except my wife ever since i married her. Though attimes the temptation might come to catch some flings out there but will later decline such thought and abort any action have made to do it on the long run.. Attimes my wife will read chats i do have with some random girls and have the notion that am cheating. I know i have been wrong in this but attimes a man will want to be a man but as i said earlier, have never had sex with those girls. Just random chats that all and it doesnt go further or lead anywhere.
So it happened that me and my wife had a very serious misunderstanding recently that resulted to verbal abuse and also almost physical violence from the two of us. The last time i intended to have sex with my wife, she denied me and this had been in my mind and got me so angry towards her. So it happend that she needed my help for something and did not help, she started shouting and nagging and this got me angry and i almost hit her but i didn't. During those heated moment she started saying things about my cheating and so on. She said if am not cheating that i should swear with bible but i refuse to swear that night. Upon The following day i decided to even swear with bible that i have never had sex with any woman ever sinced i married her. I know i was innocent and i truely swear that very day to make her change her mindset and perception about me. After the swear, something happened that makes me confused till this very day, i ask my wife to also use the bible to swear that she had not cheated or slept with any man ever since she got married to me. Could you imagine that despite all my efforts to make my wife to swear using the bible, she refused bluntly that she will never do such. I asked her why but she insisted she is not going to swear. This got me concerned and was asking myself why is this woman refusing to do this if truely she is innocent and doesnt have any skeleton in her compound. Her excuse was that she cant use the world of God to swear but mind you she is the one that prompted me to do such at first. I even seized her phone that if she doesnt swear i wont return the phone to her but despite my threat, my wife didn't not. This lasted for hours and i later gave up on the quest. Ever since then have not being myself and have been thinking alot. My wife doesnt look like someone that can cheat on me cos have not seen any traces as such but with this her action, its making me to have a rethink about her. Pls house i dont know what step to take as i need your mature advice on way forward on this issues troubling me. Every input will be well appreciated especially from married and experienced people.

Maturity level= 0

The kind of men out there these days don't just understand what marriage is all about

Afodot0022:
Good day my fellow nairalanders. Pls pardon my typo errors and will just make this brief as i can. I need your inputs in this scenerio that is giving me some sort of concern.
I have been married for close to five years now and have two kids to it. My marriage to my wife has being ups and down but have always try my best to be a responsible husband and also father. I ensure i take care of my home financially to my capabilities. My wife happen to be a good wife though with her own flaws as she is not perfect. She always have the notion that am cheating on her and have a side chick. But to be honest to you guys, i have never had sex with any other woman except my wife ever since i married her. Though attimes the temptation might come to catch some flings out there but will later decline such thought and abort any action have made to do it on the long run.. Attimes my wife will read chats i do have with some random girls and have the notion that am cheating. I know i have been wrong in this but attimes a man will want to be a man but as i said earlier, have never had sex with those girls. Just random chats that all and it doesnt go further or lead anywhere.
So it happened that me and my wife had a very serious misunderstanding recently that resulted to verbal abuse and also almost physical violence from the two of us. The last time i intended to have sex with my wife, she denied me and this had been in my mind and got me so angry towards her. So it happend that she needed my help for something and did not help, she started shouting and nagging and this got me angry and i almost hit her but i didn't. During those heated moment she started saying things about my cheating and so on. She said if am not cheating that i should swear with bible but i refuse to swear that night. Upon The following day i decided to even swear with bible that i have never had sex with any woman ever sinced i married her. I know i was innocent and i truely swear that very day to make her change her mindset and perception about me. After the swear, something happened that makes me confused till this very day, i ask my wife to also use the bible to swear that she had not cheated or slept with any man ever since she got married to me. Could you imagine that despite all my efforts to make my wife to swear using the bible, she refused bluntly that she will never do such. I asked her why but she insisted she is not going to swear. This got me concerned and was asking myself why is this woman refusing to do this if truely she is innocent and doesnt have any skeleton in her compound. Her excuse was that she cant use the world of God to swear but mind you she is the one that prompted me to do such at first. I even seized her phone that if she doesnt swear i wont return the phone to her but despite my threat, my wife didn't not. This lasted for hours and i later gave up on the quest. Ever since then have not being myself and have been thinking alot. My wife doesnt look like someone that can cheat on me cos have not seen any traces as such but with this her action, its making me to have a rethink about her. Pls house i dont know what step to take as i need your mature advice on way forward on this issues troubling me. Every input will be well appreciated especially from married and experienced people.

you may not beleive it but your wife is cheating on you. And she feels you are also cheating.

Your wife is guilty. She don't want whatever she will use to swear to befall her cos she know she is not clean. .. Simple... there's is a saying that he who kill with sword wouldn't want sword to come near him. Your wife cheats and that's why she always attack you and feel that you cheat too.... she can cheat but she can't imagine another person doing that to her and that's why she always attack you so she can be cleared that you are not cheating too..

She believes that the bible is not what you can lie with that's why she asked you to swear with it and she can't lie with the bible. She's been giving out her pussy to someone else

Afodot0022:
Good day my fellow nairalanders. Pls pardon my typo errors and will just make this brief as i can. I need your inputs in this scenerio that is giving me some sort of concern.
I have been married for close to five years now and have two kids to it. My marriage to my wife has being ups and down but have always try my best to be a responsible husband and also father. I ensure i take care of my home financially to my capabilities. My wife happen to be a good wife though with her own flaws as she is not perfect. She always have the notion that am cheating on her and have a side chick. But to be honest to you guys, i have never had sex with any other woman except my wife ever since i married her. Though attimes the temptation might come to catch some flings out there but will later decline such thought and abort any action have made to do it on the long run.. Attimes my wife will read chats i do have with some random girls and have the notion that am cheating. I know i have been wrong in this but attimes a man will want to be a man but as i said earlier, have never had sex with those girls. Just random chats that all and it doesnt go further or lead anywhere.
So it happened that me and my wife had a very serious misunderstanding recently that resulted to verbal abuse and also almost physical violence from the two of us. The last time i intended to have sex with my wife, she denied me and this had been in my mind and got me so angry towards her. So it happend that she needed my help for something and did not help, she started shouting and nagging and this got me angry and i almost hit her but i didn't. During those heated moment she started saying things about my cheating and so on. She said if am not cheating that i should swear with bible but i refuse to swear that night. Upon The following day i decided to even swear with bible that i have never had sex with any woman ever sinced i married her. I know i was innocent and i truely swear that very day to make her change her mindset and perception about me. After the swear, something happened that makes me confused till this very day, i ask my wife to also use the bible to swear that she had not cheated or slept with any man ever since she got married to me. Could you imagine that despite all my efforts to make my wife to swear using the bible, she refused bluntly that she will never do such. I asked her why but she insisted she is not going to swear. This got me concerned and was asking myself why is this woman refusing to do this if truely she is innocent and doesnt have any skeleton in her compound. Her excuse was that she cant use the world of God to swear but mind you she is the one that prompted me to do such at first. I even seized her phone that if she doesnt swear i wont return the phone to her but despite my threat, my wife didn't not. This lasted for hours and i later gave up on the quest. Ever since then have not being myself and have been thinking alot. My wife doesnt look like someone that can cheat on me cos have not seen any traces as such but with this her action, its making me to have a rethink about her. Pls house i dont know what step to take as i need your mature advice on way forward on this issues troubling me. Every input will be well appreciated especially from married and experienced people.

She may not have cheated on you.
Maybe she was deliberately refusing to swear with the Bible, so that you would have the notion that she has cheated on you and feel heartbroken.

Some women love it when they know they can still make you feel heartbroken the way you made them feel. An average woman is unforgiving and vengeful.

But aside that, just be marking her closely. If she's cheating, you would know. you know her enough to know when things are not going normal again.

Most cheating women can't hide their promiscuous attitude from their husband.

I fit swear say that woman dey cheat on you. What i noticed about women that always worry abt their man cheating are doing the same thing, thats why they have the urge that you must be doing it too.

InTheCloudySky:
It seems like the type of cheating you're referring to is physical (aka. sexual intercourse). If she could go to the extent of asking you to swear with the Bible because your word wasn't enough for her to believe you, it's only fair that she gives you the same respect by doing the same. I know if someone asks me to do such a thing, they gotta be ready to follow suit, otherwise I would deduce their refusal as hypocritical and that they're not particularly innocent of what they're accusing me of. Sometimes when people cheat or have cheated, they'll accuse their partner of cheating; it's a form of gaslighting. It's something men do but women can also play that game.

Now you're being real. Waited to see this comment. Sometimes, we are too busy giving people the kind of advice we can't take.

MarketDispatch:
You both got married before the Bible...so, I don't see any reason you both cannot affirm your marriage by swearing before same Bible.

Another reasonable comment. People immediately remember the portion of the bible that suits a particular narrative in their head. When the magistrate told them to swear using the bible, they did o.

Meanwhile, no portion of the bible permits anyone to swear in court whether for marital reasons or otherwise. However, since the urge to knack and be married made them to swear, then the wife should be ready to swear again to keep that marriage. She must finish what she's started.

The way God will judge us on the last day ehn !

Bola146:
Swearing with the Bible is totally wrong,

But it wasn't wrong 5 years ago when the magistrate or pastor told them to swear??

let your yes be yes and no be no, what would you do if you see her chatting with men Do unto others as you want others to do unto you if you did acted suspicious, she is not a fool to keep quiet, women are jealous in nature,

What in the name of emotional blackmail is this?

Omo, are you sure you're not the wife??

Afodot0022:
But i had the intention of forcing her to swear else there will be issue in the home and things will not go well with both of us cos its through that swearing that will make me seeing her faithful. If she is innocent as cliamed, why is it difficult for her to prove her innocent. I need to know. I gave her the condition that things will not be normal in the home again except she prove her innocent by swearing.

Hahaha...she would use those conditions as an excuse to cheat and say you made her do it

That's the classic Nigerian woman

Trust me, she did not cheat on you. She may have admirers and emotional cheating just like yours.
Women craves for and enjoy attention a lot.
My advise is don't force the swearing. You can always catch a cheating woman by acting like a fool.
Dont destroy your marriage please. I beg you

Danjikanbauchi:
you may not beleive it but your wife is cheating on you. And she feels you are also cheating.

Actually, she needs him to Cheat so that she can breathe again.

Clean and dirty can not stay together. So now that she is dirty, she needs the husband to be dirty too else she would either commit suicide in that house or she packs out.

That is what God has Done!

Afodot0022:
Good day my fellow nairalanders. Pls pardon my typo errors and will just make this brief as i can. I need your inputs in this scenerio that is giving me some sort of concern.
I have been married for close to five years now and have two kids to it. My marriage to my wife has being ups and down but have always try my best to be a responsible husband and also father. I ensure i take care of my home financially to my capabilities. My wife happen to be a good wife though with her own flaws as she is not perfect. She always have the notion that am cheating on her and have a side chick. But to be honest to you guys, i have never had sex with any other woman except my wife ever since i married her. Though attimes the temptation might come to catch some flings out there but will later decline such thought and abort any action have made to do it on the long run.. Attimes my wife will read chats i do have with some random girls and have the notion that am cheating. I know i have been wrong in this but attimes a man will want to be a man but as i said earlier, have never had sex with those girls. Just random chats that all and it doesnt go further or lead anywhere.
So it happened that me and my wife had a very serious misunderstanding recently that resulted to verbal abuse and also almost physical violence from the two of us. The last time i intended to have sex with my wife, she denied me and this had been in my mind and got me so angry towards her. So it happend that she needed my help for something and did not help, she started shouting and nagging and this got me angry and i almost hit her but i didn't. During those heated moment she started saying things about my cheating and so on. She said if am not cheating that i should swear with bible but i refuse to swear that night. Upon The following day i decided to even swear with bible that i have never had sex with any woman ever sinced i married her. I know i was innocent and i truely swear that very day to make her change her mindset and perception about me. After the swear, something happened that makes me confused till this very day, i ask my wife to also use the bible to swear that she had not cheated or slept with any man ever since she got married to me. Could you imagine that despite all my efforts to make my wife to swear using the bible, she refused bluntly that she will never do such. I asked her why but she insisted she is not going to swear. This got me concerned and was asking myself why is this woman refusing to do this if truely she is innocent and doesnt have any skeleton in her compound. Her excuse was that she cant use the world of God to swear but mind you she is the one that prompted me to do such at first. I even seized her phone that if she doesnt swear i wont return the phone to her but despite my threat, my wife didn't not. This lasted for hours and i later gave up on the quest. Ever since then have not being myself and have been thinking alot. My wife doesnt look like someone that can cheat on me cos have not seen any traces as such but with this her action, its making me to have a rethink about her. Pls house i dont know what step to take as i need your mature advice on way forward on this issues troubling me. Every input will be well appreciated especially from married and experienced people.

Allow her. U will catch her if she's cheating.
Just bone her and act like you are feeling bad ,she'll come n tell you if truly the love is still der. No wife will want to see her husband sad for days, especially husband who's doing her duty at home.

Walatip397:
Trust me, she did not cheat on you. She may have admirers and emotional cheating just like yours.
Women craves for and enjoy attention a lot.
My advise is don't force the swearing. You can always catch a cheating woman by acting like a fool.
Dont destroy your marriage please. I beg you

She cheated! That's what happens when one partner is "Holy".

Which is why do not like "good" men. They just want cheats who will not cheat until they command them to.

So right now, she is commanding him to go and cheat.

So she has already begun the break of the marriage.

Ginaz:
It was the wife who told him to swear first . Why would she tell him to swear with the Bible when she knows she can’t swear with the same Bible herself ? What she did was evil.

Eve didn’t make Adam eat the forbidden apple all by himself . She ate along with him.

You know why!

All women know what is happening to their fellow women but you will never let men in on the Truth!

YOU JUST MUST COVER UP THE WOMAN AND LIE TO THE MEN BECAUSE YOU ARE GUILTY OF THAT SAME THING TOO.

You said it all...

InTheCloudySky:
It seems like the type of cheating you're referring to is physical (aka. sexual intercourse). If she could go to the extent of asking you to swear with the Bible because your word wasn't enough for her to believe you, it's only fair that she gives you the same respect by doing the same. I know if someone asks me to do such a thing, they gotta be ready to follow suit, otherwise I would deduce their refusal as hypocritical and that they're not particularly innocent of what they're accusing me of. Sometimes when people cheat or have cheated, they'll accuse their partner of cheating; it's a form of gaslighting. It's something men do but women can also play that game.

Op watch out for people she dated in the past though.
Cus me I don't understand why she won't swear she never slept with any other man apart from you...
Try and get to the root of the matter to prevent future occurrence. . .
If wahala too much there is always the divorce option because a marriage can't survive without trust

Dtruthspeaker:
Actually, she needs him to Cheat so that she can breathe again.

Clean and dirty can not stay together. So now that she is dirty, she needs the husband to be dirty too else she would either commit suicide in that house or she packs out.

That is what God has Done!

that was why she wanted to confirm if he is cheating too so that her conscious will stop disturbing her. Now she discover he is not cheating and she won't want to confess her inquity.

Watch how her fellow cheats are supporting her and want to shift blame to her husband.

There's 99.% chance that she's cheating. Cause if shes not she'll collect the bible and do what you did earlier..