Afodot0022:


As i said, she made me do it and just to put a stop to her incessant accusations of cheating on her and changing her perception, i never knew it will resort to this as i regretted it.

You're a compound fool, how can you swear first before a woman .....mugu like u na she suppose swear before u, now I can't take back ur swear and she her self will never swear

Afodot0022:


But i had the intention of forcing her to swear else there will be issue in the home and things will not go well with both of us cos its through that swearing that will make me seeing her faithful. If she is innocent as cliamed, why is it difficult for her to prove her innocent. I need to know. I gave her the condition that things will not be normal in the home again except she prove her innocent by swearing.

Don't weary yourself over her swearing using the Bible. In the first place, you have misused the Bible by swearing. Let your YES be YES and your NO NO. Don't let your wife do same.

Better cancel out that thought "That things won't be normal in the home again unless she swears." If she's a cheat emotionally or sexually, as you have "emotionally cheated on her," time will tell. Just fix your home. Live normal with her and spice up your marital life with her and your kids. And as you do, erase every thought of suspicion of her cheating or not, from your "feeble" mind. Young man, why trouble yourself over women ehn!

Why will she asked u to swear when she knows that if you ask her to do the same, she wouldn't do it?

So it was when it's her turn now, she now knows that it's wrong... Some woman can be devilish and manipulative sha...

I think something is wrong somewhere.

In as much I don't want you to fight her... But I also want you to let her know u can't agree with that cunning behaviors of her. Let her reciprocate what she make u did so that u will confide in her also.

May God grants u the wisdom to arrange and settle your family.

Your wife has cheated on you, at least once since you guys got married. Anyone experienced with women and their sexuality will know that.

There is one blunt truth married people fail to come to terms with in their marital lives.

Once you marry someone( male or female) and the person has had more than one sexual partner or you happen to be the second sexual partner, the probability of your spouse cheating on you is 100% over the duration of the marriage unless he or she gets sick or dies.

One of the primary drive for infidelity is the desire for variety, a need, being exposed to multiple sexual partners activates and only few people can fight that battle and win. Till date I have not seen anyone that won.

As a side comment, if you do not want your spouse to cheat on you in marriage, make sure you marry a virgin( both gender), it reduces the probability. If you marry a non-virgin, the probability is actually 100% for both gender.

My dear friend, I hate to tell you this but your wife is already cheating on you.
1. Not having sex with you - this is a typical sign/behavior when a woman is already cheating. She either doesn't desire to give herself to you anymore since she has someone doing the job better. Or, she doesn't want to do a mechanical activity with you and risk calling out her lovers name.

2. Always picking fights - this is another giveaway sign. Everything you do just irritates her. She's wondering how she got stuck with you. Probably doesn't even see you as a man anymore.

3. Accusations - Always accusing you is a reverse psychology activity that cheaters use to try and justify themselves. The objective is to say, if you are cheating and they are too, then it's balanced. No need to feel guilty.

4. Refusing to swear - she was certain you wouldn't be able to swear and that would justify her cheating on you as well. It's kinda linked to number 3 above.

What you should do.

1. Set a trap to catch her - she's most likely cheating with an ex. Women hardly stray far from where they've been chopped before. You know Okafors Law right? When you catch her, you decide what to do thereafter. Stay in the marriage or send her away.

2. Ignorance is bliss - just live with her refusal to swear and believe she's faithful.

3. Involve her family - inform her family that she must swear or leave your house.

Choose wisely because you would bear the consequences of your choice.

Best of luck

Nwaezehopr:
Guy, it seems you don't have adultery forbidden tradition in your village. I can never bother myself about my wife cheating because I know the village I come from and she knows the consequences. Once she tries it death or madness is the next. But, I really know how you are feeling now and she is not even helping the issue. Your mind will not be at rest unless you settle the score.

You still dey learn

Make ur research and u will find out that people who constantly accuse their partner of cheating are the cheat themselves, I'm speaking from experience and I have found it to be true. I can't bet my balls ur wife has cheated on u. if she hasn't she would have been the first to swear with that Bible.Op May God help ur marriage. It is well

Why can't you just dump her and find another WOMAN?
Maybe you think your life worth nothing but suffering.

Righteousness2:


Bro, you don't need to go that way.
Someone like me, I will never swear with the Bible.
Don't give the Devil opportunity in your Home.
You said here that you have no reason to suspect her. Take her word and let the Matter Rest.

I think I'm enjoying Righteousness1 on this thread with his counsel.

Be like the Sabbatical leave you observed recently is effective.

The thing is that it's people that cheats that are mostly the ones that suspects their partners of cheating the most. I'm sorry to say, your wife is cheating on you and you should run a DNA test on your children.

She's manipulating you,. Women are masters of manipulation， she was comfortable with you swearing with the Bible ,but she's not okay with her doing same.

She's cheating but have solace by focusing your attention on something more productive e.g. making Money, I've discovered that when a man is broke ,he gets trapped into stupid family issues like this,because he spends too much time with her at home talking irrelevant thing and playing mind games with eachother.

If you have money and a business empire to run, she'd mellow down, you'd call the shots, you won't be so much bothered about her escapades because you'd have your fill of women as well, all sizes and shapes. You only do vacations with family, she'd talk high of you to her friend etc. You'd have peace and no time for stupid talks.

After all , what's there to this life, if it's not to eat, shit, fvk, sleep on repeat... So enjoy your fill of life until the ride is over. You only live once

Biglittlelois:
Lol so many immature married adults, swear or no swear is actually a problem imagine,

Oga sir, cheating is not only through sex, all those explicit chats you had or been having with random ladies is also a form of cheating, so by swearing, you've lied, so prepare to face the consequences. Your wife is smart enough not to swear cos she may have done same thing you did with those girls, she has conscience, the guilty one, lol.

the swearing is he never had sex out of marriage which he is expecting his wife to do.. atleast it is the bible that was used to unite then during wedding in d first place ...so what is wrong in using the same bible by both party to swear ...

My advice is never trust a lady. You are only in marriage for procreation and not for any love or 100 percent loyalty from any party ..

If u feel like having sex have it whether it's ur wife or not. As long as u will be happy doing so and with no regret .

We attached unnecessary religious sentiments to issues that bothers Nature ..

Naturally u are meant to have sex for procreation or for fun either way u are good to go..

sonofanarchy:
but you can swear in court with the bible? nigerians no get sense atall.. so many dumb fellows..wetin una sabi na cultism and prostitution..


It's obvious the wife is cheating.. I know how many times married women want Bleep me, but I declined. I fear women

I don't care for your opinion, my point is that the husband and wife are wrong.

They should both grow sense and run their marriage effectively, whatever happens to their marriage, heaven will not fall.

If the husband, who is the leader cannot avoid appearances of evil like emotional cheating, then he cannot understand that the wife is only responding to his type of leadership. He deserves the type of wife he got. That's my point.

Righteousness2:
Pls leave GOD'S Word out of all these your Swearings!
The Word is not what you Swear it.

If She says she has not cheated, then you let the Matter rest.
Don't use your hands to open your Family for the devil to Strike.

Nonsense

I always respect the scriptures and will always..
But, to be a manipulative kinda person, using my head.. No way!
Most women will want to support the woman cos of gender thing but, I will tell u that, we only have few women out there with a proper sanity of what devotion to marriage is all about, nd same men out there, few have proper brain to really man themselves up from messing around..

I see the innocence of the man to the point of going far to subject himself to obeying his wife by swearing with the Bible, for the sake of trust, nd love for her nd to keep their home together, he sacrificed doing what is wrong for the sake of keeping the home.. Kudos!

I read some saying, the man wants to invite the devil to his home.. I laff, the woman herself is the devil here..

The woman is the one inviting the devil into the home, cos of her manipulations and the rest..
Why will she start the rubbish... You can't accuse someone lieing if you are not a liar, same, you'll only accuse someone cheating if you too do cheat cos those experiences flashback will be mking you watch that person, cos uv thread that path before..

That man has proven his innocence, let her too prove hers.. It'll be balanced.. Its easy!
It won't be balanced if she refused, and thats when the devil will now come in, cos, not doing likewise will create room for doubt in the man's heart, nd that's the beginning of trouble in the home..

If she loves her home, her husband, let her do same.. Its easy..
Bible said, we should not swear in "vain", vain, without truth.. You're lieing nd u know inside of you that you're lieing nd you still carry the Holy Bible and swear, u are doomed..

So, let the right thing be done!

Bola146:


Seriously you are still a kid, you need to grow mature, swearing with Bible doesn't mean you are innocent. Go and ask our politicians

This young man no be politician na! Our politicians no get conscience. They can do and undo for the sake of their pockets/interests/political ambition na!

Or are you indirectly saying OP is a politician or aspiring to one in the near future?

Saintmary:


I don't care for your opinion, my point is that the husband and wife are wrong.

They should both grow sense and run their marriage effectively, whatever happens to their marriage, heaven will not fall.

If the husband, who is the leader cannot avoid appearances of evil like emotional cheating, then he cannot understand that the wife is only responding to his type of leadership. He deserves the type of wife he got. That's my point.

If you go to court and you're to swear by the bible to tell the truth, you won't? You ladies eh, who no fear una never get sense

You were not the one who brought the bible, she brought it herself and you swore with it, now it's her turn to do the same and she refused, BRO FORGET IT YOUR WIFE IS FU*CKING OTHER MEN OUTSIDE, DONT BE A FOOL, i will tell you how to catch her red handed without stress, the same method i used for one of my ex very sharp warri girl and it worked like magic, it's very sad that am going to share it here for free but anything to help a brother, this is what you are going to do, TAKE A WEEK OFF FROM WORK, AND JUST PRETEND AND BE VERY CARING AND TELL HER YOU JUST WANT TO SPEND THE ONE WEEK WITH HER INDOORS DON'T ALLOW HER TO LEAVE YOUR SIGHT FOR THAT ONE WEEK, ON THE 7TH DAY ALLOW HER TO LEAVE, WHEN SHE COMES BACK FROM THE MARKET HOLD HER AND BE PLAYING WITH HER THE IMMEDIATELY CHANGE AM FOR HER AND TELL HER THAT YOU ARE PERCEIVING A MALE PERFUME IN HER BODY THAT SHE WENT OUT TO SLEEP WITH ANOTHER JUST WATCH AS SHE GO DEY CONFESS HE BE LIKE MAGIC OR CLONE HER PHONE, TOO MUCH SENSE NON GO KILL ME, I BE PROF 4 D MATA

Very few people have made a reasonable point bro, the fact remains that you have sworn and also she must do the same to clear every doubt. For she to have pushed you to do that mehn,it should be easy she swears also. Ensure say your wife do the same, me self no trust that kind level o.

Bola146:
Swearing with the Bible is totally wrong, let your yes be yes and no be no, what would you do if you see her chatting with men Do unto others as you want others to do unto you if you did acted suspicious, she is not a fool to keep quiet, women are jealous in nature, she wants the best for her family, she is a human being too, you are the head of the family, you should know the best for your family. You trust your wife but you are still doubting or your conscience is questioning you I don't understand? Please settle it amicably and if you are at fault, you know how you settle your fights before, don't let third party come into your home. Some comments here might lead your marriage astray, don't let ego destroy you, confront her and sit her down to apologise and way forward

why do you think swearing with the bible is wrong ?

witnesses and others swear an oath with the bible in court.

politicians are sworn into office with the bible.

priest's and other christian leaders are sworn in with the bible- so why do you think it's wrong to take an oath of innocence with the bible?

Dear Afodot0022,

your wife has cheated on you- proof ?

1) she believes you to be a cheater, never thought you will call her bluff and swear with the bible .

2) she has never confronted you about her suspicion of your infidelity - why was she so comfortable with that ? answer is that she is guilty of same.

people always believe that others are guilty of same vices the are guilty of

3) she refused to swear with the bible even though she pushed you to do same.


You don't have to sweep this matter under the rug, you and your wife have to reach the end of this dangerous exposure

Madam been do revenge for crime wey op no commit... she's probably regretting now or trying hard to justify her past actions,or still thinks u are lying. Anyways ur marriage ur call,but don't trust a woman who feels betrayed.

I say things the way they are. whether or not swearing with the Bible is wrong, If she refused to swear after making you do it, then there's a hidden skeleton somewhere.

Op,let your wife swear with sharp knife if she do much referred the bible.If she still say no,don't fight her but tell her emphatically that you will be on the look out for any cheating trait and once it is confirmed,that day marks the end of the marriage.
Watch how she reacts henceforth most especially with her phone.

Afodot0022:
Good day my fellow nairalanders. Pls pardon my typo errors and will just make this brief as i can. I need your inputs in this scenerio that is giving me some sort of concern.

I have been married for close to five years now and have two kids to it. My marriage to my wife has been ups and down but have always tried my best to be a responsible husband and also father. I ensure I take care of my home financially to my capabilities.

My wife happens to be a good wife though with her own flaws as she is not perfect. She always has the notion that am cheating on her and have a side chick. But to be honest to you guys, i have never had sex with any other woman except my wife ever since i married her. Though at times the temptation might come to catch some flings out there but will later decline such thought and abort any action have made to do it on the long run.. At times my wife will read chats I do have with some random girls and have the notion that am cheating. I know i have been wrong in this but attimes a man will want to be a man but as i said earlier, have never had sex with those girls. Just random chats that all and it doesnt go further or lead anywhere.

So it happened that me and my wife had a very serious misunderstanding recently that resulted to verbal abuse and also almost physical violence from the two of us. The last time i intended to have sex with my wife, she denied me and this had been in my mind and got me so angry towards her. So it happend that she needed my help for something and did not help, she started shouting and nagging and this got me angry and i almost hit her but i didn't. During those heated moment she started saying things about my cheating and so on. She said if am not cheating that i should swear with bible but i refuse to swear that night. Upon the following day i decided to even swear with bible that i have never had sex with any woman ever sinced i married her. I know i was innocent and i truely swear that very day to make her change her mindset and perception about me.

After the swear, something happened that makes me confused till this very day, I ask my wife to also use the Bible to swear that she had not cheated or slept with any man ever since she got married to me. Could you imagine that despite all my efforts to make my wife to swear using the bible, she refused bluntly that she will never do such. I asked her why but she insisted she is not going to swear.

This got me concerned and was asking myself why is this woman refusing to do this if truely she is innocent and doesnt have any skeleton in her compound. Her excuse was that she cant use the world of God to swear but mind you she is the one that prompted me to do such at first. I even seized her phone that if she doesnt swear i wont return the phone to her but despite my threat, my wife didn't not.

This lasted for hours and I later gave up on the quest. Ever since then have not being myself and have been thinking alot. My wife doesnt look like someone that can cheat on me cos have not seen any traces as such but with this her action, its making me to have a rethink about her.

Pls house i dont know what step to take as i need your mature advice on way forward on this issues troubling me. Every input will be well appreciated especially from married and experienced people.

OP, stop disturbing your wife to swear with Bible. Even if she's cheating, you won't know. I have a baba you can go to. Just take her name there and swear on her behalf. If she has cheated in the marriage, you go come back house see say she don die. But if you love her so much and don't want her to die nonsense death, threaten her about you going to one baba to see if she's cheating. If she tells you to go ahead, please do. Her death na ontop her head be that. This is the ONLY advice you should be considering now

Leave the poor woman alone. Deal with your insecurity. Mitcheww

Bobxin:

Finally a lady who's being fair and balanced on this subject

Lolz!

It's wrong to swear OK but then you saying your wife can't cheat, oga abeg shift that she doesn't look like someone who can cheat doesn't mean she's not getting laid o. Some married women can cheat for Africa and na dem go accuse you passquote author=Afodot0022 post=106945464]Good day my fellow nairalanders. Pls pardon my typo errors and will just make this brief as i can. I need your inputs in this scenerio that is giving me some sort of concern.

I have been married for close to five years now and have two kids to it. My marriage to my wife has been ups and down but have always tried my best to be a responsible husband and also father. I ensure I take care of my home financially to my capabilities.

My wife happens to be a good wife though with her own flaws as she is not perfect. She always has the notion that am cheating on her and have a side chick. But to be honest to you guys, i have never had sex with any other woman except my wife ever since i married her. Though at times the temptation might come to catch some flings out there but will later decline such thought and abort any action have made to do it on the long run.. At times my wife will read chats I do have with some random girls and have the notion that am cheating. I know i have been wrong in this but attimes a man will want to be a man but as i said earlier, have never had sex with those girls. Just random chats that all and it doesnt go further or lead anywhere.

So it happened that me and my wife had a very serious misunderstanding recently that resulted to verbal abuse and also almost physical violence from the two of us. The last time i intended to have sex with my wife, she denied me and this had been in my mind and got me so angry towards her. So it happend that she needed my help for something and did not help, she started shouting and nagging and this got me angry and i almost hit her but i didn't. During those heated moment she started saying things about my cheating and so on. She said if am not cheating that i should swear with bible but i refuse to swear that night. Upon the following day i decided to even swear with bible that i have never had sex with any woman ever sinced i married her. I know i was innocent and i truely swear that very day to make her change her mindset and perception about me.

After the swear, something happened that makes me confused till this very day, I ask my wife to also use the Bible to swear that she had not cheated or slept with any man ever since she got married to me. Could you imagine that despite all my efforts to make my wife to swear using the bible, she refused bluntly that she will never do such. I asked her why but she insisted she is not going to swear.

This got me concerned and was asking myself why is this woman refusing to do this if truely she is innocent and doesnt have any skeleton in her compound. Her excuse was that she cant use the world of God to swear but mind you she is the one that prompted me to do such at first. I even seized her phone that if she doesnt swear i wont return the phone to her but despite my threat, my wife didn't not.

This lasted for hours and I later gave up on the quest. Ever since then have not being myself and have been thinking alot. My wife doesnt look like someone that can cheat on me cos have not seen any traces as such but with this her action, its making me to have a rethink about her.

Pls house i dont know what step to take as i need your mature advice on way forward on this issues troubling me. Every input will be well appreciated especially from married and experienced people.[/quote]

Bro relax your mind and enjoy your marriage..oh you don't know that it's a,sin to swear with holy book.

Oh your wife didn't swear doesn't mean she cheated on you but she used her feminine power to manipulate you to swear with bible knowing fully well swearing with bible is not good.

My man that's woman for you...enjoy your marriage o.

Dtruthspeaker:


Actually, she needs him to Cheat so that she can breathe again.

Clean and dirty can not stay together. So now that she is dirty, she needs the husband to be dirty too else she would either commit suicide in that house or she packs out.

That is what God has Done!

Bless you bro

Fuji house of commotion!

One, it's not until you have sex or penetrate a woman that you cheat.

Once you give the special attention and time meant for your wife to another woman, Oga, you've cheated and you're guilty as charged.

Secondly, oga, your wife has actually cheated and had sex with another man. 100%

OP calm down o.

Take the good advice wey people don tell you about allowing that swear thing to slide. Comot suspicion of your wife from your mind. And leave a normal life.

The law of nature on cheating will take care of any cheating act of her. That's if she's into the game.