₦airaland Forum

Oga, leave the Bible out of your matrimonial quagmire. Don't force your wife to swear. You made the mistake by swearing with the Bible, next time let your yes, be yes and your no, be no.

You get sense my sister!

InTheCloudySky:
It seems like the type of cheating you're referring to is physical (aka. sexual intercourse). If she could go to the extent of asking you to swear with the Bible because your word wasn't enough for her to believe you, it's only fair that she gives you the same respect by doing the same. I know if someone asks me to do such a thing, they gotta be ready to follow suit, otherwise I would deduce their refusal as hypocritical and that they're not particularly innocent of what they're accusing me of. Sometimes when people cheat or have cheated, they'll accuse their partner of cheating; it's a form of gaslighting. It's something men do but women can also play that game.

Pataricatering:
Nigerian men are NOT husband material . See the audacity this one is usingnto cover home his chat with other women outside his marriage. Maybe ur wife too has been chatting with other dudes too - since you will obviously be denying her the emotional satisfaction you are giving other women outside .

Is either you lack compression abilities or you didn't read the epistle

Righteousness2:
Pls leave GOD'S Word out of all these your Swearings!
The Word is not what you Swear it.

If She says she has not cheated, then you let the Matter rest.
Don't use your hands to open your Family for the devil to Strike.

She was the one that asked him to swear initially, now she's refusing to do the same nd you're here preaching. Read the room, prophet.

Why tell your husband to swear with the bible to proof his innocence if you can't do same?
Well, it only points to one thing. SHE HAS CHEATED AND FEARS FOR THE CONSEQUENCES.
Like they always say, A CLEAR CONSCIENCE FEARS NO ACCUSATIONS.

All these 'don't swear with the Bible preachers' just negodu. He don swear, he don swear be that. To the matter, as majority have stated, there is a problem there, that needs to be thrashed out. Sticking your neck in the sand is just postponing the inevitable. Anyone telling you nofin dey there dey deceive you. There is something there, she has to come finish what she has started.

Biglittlelois:
Lol so many immature married adults, swear or no swear is actually a problem imagine,

Oga sir, cheating is not only through sex, all those explicit chats you had or been having with random ladies is also a form of cheating, so by swearing, you've lied, so prepare to face the consequences. Your wife is smart enough not to swear cos she may have done same thing you did with those girls, she has conscience, the guilty one, lol.

Chai, women, u guys are bad oh. So you are happy she got her husband to swear with the bible, even when she as a wife knew, it wasn't right to swear using the bible. And now the guy behaves immature to you, on top. Chai, wahala for who no use sense instead of emotions handle woman.

Afodot0022:
Good day my fellow nairalanders. Pls pardon my typo errors and will just make this brief as i can. I need your inputs in this scenerio that is giving me some sort of concern.

I have been married for close to five years now and have two kids to it. My marriage to my wife has been ups and down but have always tried my best to be a responsible husband and also father. I ensure I take care of my home financially to my capabilities.

My wife happens to be a good wife though with her own flaws as she is not perfect. She always has the notion that am cheating on her and have a side chick. But to be honest to you guys, i have never had sex with any other woman except my wife ever since i married her. Though at times the temptation might come to catch some flings out there but will later decline such thought and abort any action have made to do it on the long run.. At times my wife will read chats I do have with some random girls and have the notion that am cheating. I know i have been wrong in this but attimes a man will want to be a man but as i said earlier, have never had sex with those girls. Just random chats that all and it doesnt go further or lead anywhere.

So it happened that me and my wife had a very serious misunderstanding recently that resulted to verbal abuse and also almost physical violence from the two of us. The last time i intended to have sex with my wife, she denied me and this had been in my mind and got me so angry towards her. So it happend that she needed my help for something and did not help, she started shouting and nagging and this got me angry and i almost hit her but i didn't. During those heated moment she started saying things about my cheating and so on. She said if am not cheating that i should swear with bible but i refuse to swear that night. Upon the following day i decided to even swear with bible that i have never had sex with any woman ever sinced i married her. I know i was innocent and i truely swear that very day to make her change her mindset and perception about me.

After the swear, something happened that makes me confused till this very day, I ask my wife to also use the Bible to swear that she had not cheated or slept with any man ever since she got married to me. Could you imagine that despite all my efforts to make my wife to swear using the bible, she refused bluntly that she will never do such. I asked her why but she insisted she is not going to swear.

This got me concerned and was asking myself why is this woman refusing to do this if truely she is innocent and doesnt have any skeleton in her compound. Her excuse was that she cant use the world of God to swear but mind you she is the one that prompted me to do such at first. I even seized her phone that if she doesnt swear i wont return the phone to her but despite my threat, my wife didn't not.

This lasted for hours and I later gave up on the quest. Ever since then have not being myself and have been thinking alot. My wife doesnt look like someone that can cheat on me cos have not seen any traces as such but with this her action, its making me to have a rethink about her.

Pls house i dont know what step to take as i need your mature advice on way forward on this issues troubling me. Every input will be well appreciated especially from married and experienced people.

He who comes to equity must come with clean hands.

You must be ready for a fight to draw the first blood. She want swear, abi. Add curse join make u find the truth.

But on a second taught, what will you do with the truth, it'll only puke ur conscience thereafter.
Find a way to forgive each other and move on. Your wife, knowing she's owing u in this aspect and you making peace with her definitely is a win for your family.

Afodot0022:
Good day my fellow nairalanders. Pls pardon my typo errors and will just make this brief as i can. I need your inputs in this scenerio that is giving me some sort of concern.

I have been married for close to five years now and have two kids to it. My marriage to my wife has been ups and down but have always tried my best to be a responsible husband and also father. I ensure I take care of my home financially to my capabilities.

My wife happens to be a good wife though with her own flaws as she is not perfect. She always has the notion that am cheating on her and have a side chick. But to be honest to you guys, i have never had sex with any other woman except my wife ever since i married her. Though at times the temptation might come to catch some flings out there but will later decline such thought and abort any action have made to do it on the long run.. At times my wife will read chats I do have with some random girls and have the notion that am cheating. I know i have been wrong in this but attimes a man will want to be a man but as i said earlier, have never had sex with those girls. Just random chats that all and it doesnt go further or lead anywhere.

So it happened that me and my wife had a very serious misunderstanding recently that resulted to verbal abuse and also almost physical violence from the two of us. The last time i intended to have sex with my wife, she denied me and this had been in my mind and got me so angry towards her. So it happend that she needed my help for something and did not help, she started shouting and nagging and this got me angry and i almost hit her but i didn't. During those heated moment she started saying things about my cheating and so on. She said if am not cheating that i should swear with bible but i refuse to swear that night. Upon the following day i decided to even swear with bible that i have never had sex with any woman ever sinced i married her. I know i was innocent and i truely swear that very day to make her change her mindset and perception about me.

After the swear, something happened that makes me confused till this very day, I ask my wife to also use the Bible to swear that she had not cheated or slept with any man ever since she got married to me. Could you imagine that despite all my efforts to make my wife to swear using the bible, she refused bluntly that she will never do such. I asked her why but she insisted she is not going to swear.

This got me concerned and was asking myself why is this woman refusing to do this if truely she is innocent and doesnt have any skeleton in her compound. Her excuse was that she cant use the world of God to swear but mind you she is the one that prompted me to do such at first. I even seized her phone that if she doesnt swear i wont return the phone to her but despite my threat, my wife didn't not.

This lasted for hours and I later gave up on the quest. Ever since then have not being myself and have been thinking alot. My wife doesnt look like someone that can cheat on me cos have not seen any traces as such but with this her action, its making me to have a rethink about her.

Pls house i dont know what step to take as i need your mature advice on way forward on this issues troubling me. Every input will be well appreciated especially from married and experienced people.

Hear me very well oga, the truth is , she has cheated , and she did so with the wrong notion that you cheated too, all you have to do is forgive her before she confess, dont make her swear again, be kind and gentle, let her confess to you without threat.... move on, work on your shortcoming (both of you) pray for peace

Bola146:
It is wrong!! Swearing with the Bible, let them use Cutlass or gun

Why did she insist on it? The lady is guilty

Longsleeve:
Alright let it slide..

If she's cheating you will surely find out one day..

it will be to late then why not make it right now

InTheCloudySky:
It seems like the type of cheating you're referring to is physical (aka. sexual intercourse). If she could go to the extent of asking you to swear with the Bible because your word wasn't enough for her to believe you, it's only fair that she gives you the same respect by doing the same. I know if someone asks me to do such a thing, they gotta be ready to follow suit, otherwise I would deduce their refusal as hypocritical and that they're not particularly innocent of what they're accusing me of. Sometimes when people cheat or have cheated, they'll accuse their partner of cheating; it's a form of gaslighting. It's something men do but women can also play that game.

Best sane comment from a female

Skullano:
Shebi nah all this wahala I go dey see and hear everyday and people will be shouting that I should go and marry.

I greet una well well.

If u no want marry try born,
All na the same,
At all at all na em bad pass

Just tell her you know what she has done and the said man. But you have forgiven her and watch her spill a lot of information.

Elliotwaveforec:
I dey tell you; those kids ehn

I just the laugh the mugu

Why you go say make I swear I swear
E come your turn you no want swear
That mean you dey hide something nah

InTheCloudySky:
It seems like the type of cheating you're referring to is physical (aka. sexual intercourse). If she could go to the extent of asking you to swear with the Bible because your word wasn't enough for her to believe you, it's only fair that she gives you the same respect by doing the same. I know if someone asks me to do such a thing, they gotta be ready to follow suit, otherwise I would deduce their refusal as hypocritical and that they're not particularly innocent of what they're accusing me of. Sometimes when people cheat or have cheated, they'll accuse their partner of cheating; it's a form of gaslighting. It's something men do but women can also play that game.

First Lady to say the truth as is, others are just saying nonsense, OP with this your wife might not be innocent after all, maybe she has cheated already and wanted to really find out if you are doing the same, she is feeling guilty

Go and run DNA test on your kids and investigate your wife.

If you refuse to do so and you end up dead because of your wife's infidelity, rest in Peace!

Bola146:
Seriously you are still a kid, you need to grow mature, swearing with Bible doesn't mean you are innocent. Go and ask our politicians

let her do same. i swear to god she cheated on him. infact almost all married women are cheeters

Righteousness2:
Pls leave GOD'S Word out of all these your Swearings!
The Word is not what you Swear it.

If She says she has not cheated, then you let the Matter rest.
Don't use your hands to open your Family for the devil to Strike.

Never quoted you before but I can't just overlook this. But it's okay to use the word to swear in courts or parliaments?

UncleKoboko:
On a serious note, your wife is definitely cheating.

It's uncommon these days that married women cheat.
It's like everyone is trying to do competition for who cheats the most or who has the highest bodycounts.


90 % of Nigerian girls have at least 2-3 fúckíng lovers.
Even if you are seeing her for 23.5 hours in a day, just know that in the remaining 30 mins she will use it to play her games.

The craziest evil thing they know how to do best is when this is happening is:

PLAY THE VICTIM CARD
and
GUILT-TRIP YOU and make you feel like the terrible one.

Never ever trust them. Even the married ones.

The surest way of putting a check on them is to regularly hack through their phones.
NEVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE FOOLED BY THESE VAGINA PEOPLE.

You must be talking from experience

Mr Poster, you amaze me. Pls manage your home, avoid excess anger, forget about the swearing in ceremony between you and your wife. Work on making the marriage work again before devil scatters it kpatakpata

Afodot0022:
As i said, she made me do it and just to put a stop to her incessant accusations of cheating on her and changing her perception, i never knew it will resort to this as i regretted it.

First, you must have learnt your primary lesson now, don't let a woman/ wife put you to do what you have no intention of doing ( to put a stop to whatever anyone or she thinks about you)
Now, you swore with the Bible but she can't swear in return...she immediately remember it's not good to swear with the word of God, hence she disguised this probably to cover her own infidelity.
The mistake you did was to allow her to read your sms messages, but did you read her own too?
You allow her to manipulate you on some things, and this is your weak point, it will good you become a man in charge of your house.
If it's true you never caught her cheating during your courtship and til now that you have married to her, if you have never saw any messages to suspect her or she might smarter than you in deleting them.
I will advise you to give her a benefit of doubt, forgive your ownself by being manipulated to swear with bible and move on with your marriage, but warn her never in her life to accused you of any infidelity thereafter.

Evolutionlove:
Hehe lol some Men can be very funny at times. It seems you need to go check what "Vagina" means again. The problem of most Men Is they are Ignorant about Women. She Is your legitimate wife doesn't mean you are the only one who have an access to the oily well. 95% of married women worldwide would have Sex with another partner aside their husband In their lifetime. It's not something to be really worried about, They are Humans like you too. Afterall Men are the ones leading the board In this Cheating of a thing so why the Fuss? Because you paid her dowry which nobody forced you to do lol. Once you understand the female gender to an extent, You won't be really bothered by their shenanigans.....

That you don't respect the sanctity of marriage doesn't mean others will not. Kindly give this advice to your wife or your girl whichever may apply not to sane and decent home

WISDOM GBAM!!!!

UncleKoboko:
Instead of trying to be a responsible husband, Just be a sensible man. Work on yourself.
Don't ever do anything to impress any woman because they never get satisfied.

Nothing can ever keep a woman unless she just wants to stay so it's better not to waste time time and life trying to impress them.
Even money can not keep a woman.
1st 3 richest people in the world are DIVORCED!

THINK!

Afodot0022:
Good day my fellow nairalanders. Pls pardon my typo errors and will just make this brief as i can. I need your inputs in this scenerio that is giving me some sort of concern.

I have been married for close to five years now and have two kids to it. My marriage to my wife has been ups and down but have always tried my best to be a responsible husband and also father. I ensure I take care of my home financially to my capabilities.

My wife happens to be a good wife though with her own flaws as she is not perfect. She always has the notion that am cheating on her and have a side chick. But to be honest to you guys, i have never had sex with any other woman except my wife ever since i married her. Though at times the temptation might come to catch some flings out there but will later decline such thought and abort any action have made to do it on the long run.. At times my wife will read chats I do have with some random girls and have the notion that am cheating. I know i have been wrong in this but attimes a man will want to be a man but as i said earlier, have never had sex with those girls. Just random chats that all and it doesnt go further or lead anywhere.

So it happened that me and my wife had a very serious misunderstanding recently that resulted to verbal abuse and also almost physical violence from the two of us. The last time i intended to have sex with my wife, she denied me and this had been in my mind and got me so angry towards her. So it happend that she needed my help for something and did not help, she started shouting and nagging and this got me angry and i almost hit her but i didn't. During those heated moment she started saying things about my cheating and so on. She said if am not cheating that i should swear with bible but i refuse to swear that night. Upon the following day i decided to even swear with bible that i have never had sex with any woman ever sinced i married her. I know i was innocent and i truely swear that very day to make her change her mindset and perception about me.

After the swear, something happened that makes me confused till this very day, I ask my wife to also use the Bible to swear that she had not cheated or slept with any man ever since she got married to me. Could you imagine that despite all my efforts to make my wife to swear using the bible, she refused bluntly that she will never do such. I asked her why but she insisted she is not going to swear.

This got me concerned and was asking myself why is this woman refusing to do this if truely she is innocent and doesnt have any skeleton in her compound. Her excuse was that she cant use the world of God to swear but mind you she is the one that prompted me to do such at first. I even seized her phone that if she doesnt swear i wont return the phone to her but despite my threat, my wife didn't not.

This lasted for hours and I later gave up on the quest. Ever since then have not being myself and have been thinking alot. My wife doesnt look like someone that can cheat on me cos have not seen any traces as such but with this her action, its making me to have a rethink about her.

Pls house i dont know what step to take as i need your mature advice on way forward on this issues troubling me. Every input will be well appreciated especially from married and experienced people.

guy ur wife na cheater

Truth is women cheat alot more than men but are more secretive than men.
A man will drink and become careless,a man's head will be full of responsibilities and he forgets to cover up somethings.
If a man is cheating with a woman,there is 90%chance of his friends knowing.

A woman cheating will hardly tell her friends, women hardly drink so they are very careful about there actions especially when it concerns cheating. A woman may cheat in a marriage for decades and if the man is not detailed he will never find out.

The holy Bible is a respected book if she made you swear then there is no big for she to also do the same. A clear conscience fears no accusations.

Don't let all this people saying rubbish here deceive you. You have a right to know every details about the person sleeping you beside every night.

If she can do the simple swear then you have to be cautious

I would want to say ur wife has probably cheated before bt i dnt wanna be wrong.So my advice,donot stop pushing for her to swear wit that same bible she made u swear.If she didnt bliev in swearing wit a bible she would never ask u to do same.Something is fishy here.Put more pressure on her to swear,if u hav to threaten divorce.Talk to her tell her u cant trust her ever if she doesn't swear.Also,tell her if there is anything she did,then she should jst tell u without swearing.Talk nicely wit her thay u would be willing to forgive n start afresh......mind u this Na deceive tactics for her to open up.

Saintmary:
Mr Man, don't you know what they call emotional cheating?

Please leave the Bible out of your tumultuous marriage if you can't obey it.

They refer to sex outside marriage

You marry Olosho for hux watin u dey expect

toujurs:
Chai, women, u guys are bad oh. So you are happy she got her husband to swear with the bible, even when she as a wife knew, it wasn't right to swear using the bible. And now the guy behaves immature to you, on top. Chai, wahala for who no use sense instead of emotions handle woman.

They blame men for everything.