₦airaland Forum

Klass99:
Okay!

At least we don't go running in the other direction looking for fimer bodies and stronger dicks. We may not even feel comfortable in our new skin and bodies to do that.

Having 4 or 5 kids is not just about the trends in post pregnancy weight loss and body firming for me. It is about the overall physical health of a woman, about preventing or reducing chances of high risk pregnancies that may come with complications or even death in extreme cases.

My friend had 2 kids (a boy and a girl) she started worrying hubby for a 3rd child. He resisted until he caved in and she took in, the pregnancy was a high risk and life threatening one.

Fortunately, mother and child survived but the only reason she kept pressuring hubby was that their family friends Ted & Lucy, had another baby (their fourth) and she just wanted one as well. Because, whenever she visited Lucy holding the baby and all made her yearn for her baby of her own. Are you seeing reasoning?

If, we had lost her nko? Or the baby came with a disability or deformity nko? When I talk I am thinking beyond post pregnancy weight loss and body forming, because I lost a relative through child birth (her first pregnancy) and she was just 29.

The more, the greater the chances of a high risk pregnancy.

Alright then, fair enough... This post of yours has now delved into more specifics.

Sorry about your relative that translated during her first child birth. I can see the bigger picture
of what you're driving at here which is the high-risk pregnancies.

Incidentally there are portable
devices that can reduce high-risk
child births that I've been aware
of for over 13 years now.

So, Klass99, tell me for how many years has your former classmate in the Uni (with 5 kids) been married?

I assume she must have married pretty early to some "rich" bobo for her to have ditched her Accounting career.

Klass99:
Hopefully, her 6 children are doing right by her today and they drained his resources financially while they were growing up.

They do support their mum to the best of my knowledge. Their dad, though he tormented them, invested in their education.

obembet:
At 23 I got married immediately after my first degree. Had my first kid at 24, got a master's degree in my area of study, yet without a job. My ex was doing well in his business and he carried all the financial responsibilities of our home while I shoulder all the manual work; ranging from cooking, laundry, cleaning, buying groceries, making sure that every bills are paid, school runs, etc. All he does is to provide the money to carry all of those. I'm all- must -be -tidy kind of person so I made sure to maintain that.

I'll make sure I keep the house clean, prepare his favorite meals which I do by following the meal time table cos he loves three different meals for each day. Most times he will come back with a different meal to be prepared for him after I must have made dinner. This must be accompanied with fruits or nuts to crack, extract, slice and serve. As this continued I became perplex and may complain but he never listened or appreciated all my efforts.

As years come by our population increased and I begged him to buy a washing machine. This is a no go area as he believes it makes one lazy. After much begging and no compliance for about two years I stopped washing his main clothes, but washed only his inner wears. I saved some money and got myself one. He was happy I did so and gave me 25% of the amount I bought it. I later learnt that that was a bribe to start washing his clothes again. All my married life I never had a full house help. His relatives will come, stay for some time and leave. Even while they're still around I prefer to do some things myself for some reasons.

Now this is my round the clock non paid job from from year to year. I'll wake up by 4:00 am to prepare children's snacks or meal for school, wake everyone up by 5:00 am for morning prayers, bath the children and at the same time have clothes rolling in the machine while breakfast sits on fire simultaneously. By 7:15 am I'm with the children on the road to school. Keeps them at school and gets back home to continue the outstanding works. I may come back to meet ex still sleeping or brushing his teeth. I will serve breakfast, help him choose his day wear and most times look for one document or car keys.

I tried to get a teaching job which can help me continue my “rat race” at home. None of them lasted for more than four months, reasons I couldn't figure out till today cos I believe I'm very good at that.

By the time I could say “ehee, time to rest” it's already 3 to 4 pm, time to get the children back from school. Preparing dinner, helping in homework, correcting complains from teachers if there's any, bathing and feeding them. Sometimes I still find time to play and tell stories with the kids. I buy everybody's wears including ex's, especially during festive periods. I guess that's the only time I have to get new things for myself. It never bothered me cos I'm happy putting smiles in the faces of people around me. I'm always preparing home-made groceries cos I'm good at most of them.

I could remember vividly a friend advising me on improving in my outward appearance which I gave little attention to.

By the time I'll retire to bed, it's already 11 or 12:00 midnight. And so it continues.

I never received any form of appreciation; either in kind or in cash. And to worsen it all, he became so abusive; verbally, physically, emotionally and would complain and blame me in every misfortune of his life. Life was so terrible living with him. Yet, I did not complain until he pushed me out and finally left.

Most times we focus all our energy into building our homes, that is wonderful, thereby neglecting ourselves which should come first, it's not being selfish. I celebrate every member of my family every year but I was never celebrated for the thirteen years we lived together. After reading a book, “what kids need most in a mom” by a retired white nurse; Patricia Standforth, I started changing my status but things have started going sour in my marriage and I was kicked out by hubby. He got a nullification note from the church, refused me access to the children, etc. Though I'm working towards getting a civil divorce from the court.

It's been two years now and alot of people could not believe it when they meet me, as a mother of five who's so young looking, energetic and sophisticated. I've got a lot of space and time to travel, learn new things, meet new friends and recently working towards getting an MBA.

And more importantly, I wouldn't want to be seen where I was left.

Edited : Obembet

Lalasticlala
Seun
mynd44

it's a pity that people don't treat good people nicely.

I pray God compensates you with godly man

Klass99:
You know Megareal already said don't bother trying to explain to men they won't understand So, make I rest.
How you dey?

I'm good oo. You?

To spite

You don't value what you have until you lose it

Because Dem be mu.mu

obembet:
At 23 I got married immediately after my first degree. Had my first kid at 24, got a master's degree in my area of study, yet without a job. My ex was doing well in his business and he carried all the financial responsibilities of our home while I shoulder all the manual work; ranging from cooking, laundry, cleaning, buying groceries, making sure that every bills are paid, school runs, etc. All he does is to provide the money to carry all of those. I'm all- must -be -tidy kind of person so I made sure to maintain that.

I'll make sure I keep the house clean, prepare his favorite meals which I do by following the meal time table cos he loves three different meals for each day. Most times he will come back with a different meal to be prepared for him after I must have made dinner. This must be accompanied with fruits or nuts to crack, extract, slice and serve. As this continued I became perplex and may complain but he never listened or appreciated all my efforts.

As years come by our population increased and I begged him to buy a washing machine. This is a no go area as he believes it makes one lazy. After much begging and no compliance for about two years I stopped washing his main clothes, but washed only his inner wears. I saved some money and got myself one. He was happy I did so and gave me 25% of the amount I bought it. I later learnt that that was a bribe to start washing his clothes again. All my married life I never had a full house help. His relatives will come, stay for some time and leave. Even while they're still around I prefer to do some things myself for some reasons.

Now this is my round the clock non paid job from from year to year. I'll wake up by 4:00 am to prepare children's snacks or meal for school, wake everyone up by 5:00 am for morning prayers, bath the children and at the same time have clothes rolling in the machine while breakfast sits on fire simultaneously. By 7:15 am I'm with the children on the road to school. Keeps them at school and gets back home to continue the outstanding works. I may come back to meet ex still sleeping or brushing his teeth. I will serve breakfast, help him choose his day wear and most times look for one document or car keys.

I tried to get a teaching job which can help me continue my “rat race” at home. None of them lasted for more than four months, reasons I couldn't figure out till today cos I believe I'm very good at that.

By the time I could say “ehee, time to rest” it's already 3 to 4 pm, time to get the children back from school. Preparing dinner, helping in homework, correcting complains from teachers if there's any, bathing and feeding them. Sometimes I still find time to play and tell stories with the kids. I buy everybody's wears including ex's, especially during festive periods. I guess that's the only time I have to get new things for myself. It never bothered me cos I'm happy putting smiles in the faces of people around me. I'm always preparing home-made groceries cos I'm good at most of them.

I could remember vividly a friend advising me on improving in my outward appearance which I gave little attention to.

By the time I'll retire to bed, it's already 11 or 12:00 midnight. And so it continues.

I never received any form of appreciation; either in kind or in cash. And to worsen it all, he became so abusive; verbally, physically, emotionally and would complain and blame me in every misfortune of his life. Life was so terrible living with him. Yet, I did not complain until he pushed me out and finally left.

Most times we focus all our energy into building our homes, that is wonderful, thereby neglecting ourselves which should come first, it's not being selfish. I celebrate every member of my family every year but I was never celebrated for the thirteen years we lived together. After reading a book, “what kids need most in a mom” by a retired white nurse; Patricia Standforth, I started changing my status but things have started going sour in my marriage and I was kicked out by hubby. He got a nullification note from the church, refused me access to the children, etc. Though I'm working towards getting a civil divorce from the court.

It's been two years now and alot of people could not believe it when they meet me, as a mother of five who's so young looking, energetic and sophisticated. I've got a lot of space and time to travel, learn new things, meet new friends and recently working towards getting an MBA.

And more importantly, I wouldn't want to be seen where I was left.

Edited : Obembet

In Divorce , you are less consumed, and have time for other stuff. All the energy used in pleasing the husband will be channel to other profitable ventures

holocron:
I put it to you that this is a tissue of lies and fabrication. OP sounds like an ingrate. You are serving/working for your family and instead of appreciating the results of your good works, you are grumbling, complaining and whining. Your husband struggles to do his part in upkeeping the family, you do not appreciate his role but you complain of your own role. You purposely abandoned your family and children for a fake independence and shallow ambitions and now you are regretting. You lost your cherished family for phantom degrees, career and independence. What shall it profit a man to gain the whole world and then lose his soul?

lol narcissist

obembet:
At 23 I got married immediately after my first degree. Had my first kid at 24, got a master's degree in my area of study, yet without a job. My ex was doing well in his business and he carried all the financial responsibilities of our home while I shoulder all the manual work; ranging from cooking, laundry, cleaning, buying groceries, making sure that every bills are paid, school runs, etc. All he does is to provide the money to carry all of those. I'm all- must -be -tidy kind of person so I made sure to maintain that.

I'll make sure I keep the house clean, prepare his favorite meals which I do by following the meal time table cos he loves three different meals for each day. Most times he will come back with a different meal to be prepared for him after I must have made dinner. This must be accompanied with fruits or nuts to crack, extract, slice and serve. As this continued I became perplex and may complain but he never listened or appreciated all my efforts.

As years come by our population increased and I begged him to buy a washing machine. This is a no go area as he believes it makes one lazy. After much begging and no compliance for about two years I stopped washing his main clothes, but washed only his inner wears. I saved some money and got myself one. He was happy I did so and gave me 25% of the amount I bought it. I later learnt that that was a bribe to start washing his clothes again. All my married life I never had a full house help. His relatives will come, stay for some time and leave. Even while they're still around I prefer to do some things myself for some reasons.

Now this is my round the clock non paid job from from year to year. I'll wake up by 4:00 am to prepare children's snacks or meal for school, wake everyone up by 5:00 am for morning prayers, bath the children and at the same time have clothes rolling in the machine while breakfast sits on fire simultaneously. By 7:15 am I'm with the children on the road to school. Keeps them at school and gets back home to continue the outstanding works. I may come back to meet ex still sleeping or brushing his teeth. I will serve breakfast, help him choose his day wear and most times look for one document or car keys.

I tried to get a teaching job which can help me continue my “rat race” at home. None of them lasted for more than four months, reasons I couldn't figure out till today cos I believe I'm very good at that.

By the time I could say “ehee, time to rest” it's already 3 to 4 pm, time to get the children back from school. Preparing dinner, helping in homework, correcting complains from teachers if there's any, bathing and feeding them. Sometimes I still find time to play and tell stories with the kids. I buy everybody's wears including ex's, especially during festive periods. I guess that's the only time I have to get new things for myself. It never bothered me cos I'm happy putting smiles in the faces of people around me. I'm always preparing home-made groceries cos I'm good at most of them.

I could remember vividly a friend advising me on improving in my outward appearance which I gave little attention to.

By the time I'll retire to bed, it's already 11 or 12:00 midnight. And so it continues.

I never received any form of appreciation; either in kind or in cash. And to worsen it all, he became so abusive; verbally, physically, emotionally and would complain and blame me in every misfortune of his life. Life was so terrible living with him. Yet, I did not complain until he pushed me out and finally left.

Most times we focus all our energy into building our homes, that is wonderful, thereby neglecting ourselves which should come first, it's not being selfish. I celebrate every member of my family every year but I was never celebrated for the thirteen years we lived together. After reading a book, “what kids need most in a mom” by a retired white nurse; Patricia Standforth, I started changing my status but things have started going sour in my marriage and I was kicked out by hubby. He got a nullification note from the church, refused me access to the children, etc. Though I'm working towards getting a civil divorce from the court.

It's been two years now and alot of people could not believe it when they meet me, as a mother of five who's so young looking, energetic and sophisticated. I've got a lot of space and time to travel, learn new things, meet new friends and recently working towards getting an MBA.

And more importantly, I wouldn't want to be seen where I was left.

Edited : Obembet

I av questions for this lady even though I know its copy and paste
1) dont you av family members who watch out for you..who talk sense into your head where you are about going astray
2) are you pitying your parents at all why waste their money if you dont want to be an employee you can be an employer..even freelance jobs now exists
3) why did you loose yourself?, you stopped taking care of yourself.. you need to look good to keep your being attractive to your husband and feel good about yourself

obembet:
At 23 I got married immediately after my first degree. Had my first kid at 24, got a master's degree in my area of study, yet without a job. My ex was doing well in his business and he carried all the financial responsibilities of our home while I shoulder all the manual work; ranging from cooking, laundry, cleaning, buying groceries, making sure that every bills are paid, school runs, etc. All he does is to provide the money to carry all of those. I'm all- must -be -tidy kind of person so I made sure to maintain that.

I'll make sure I keep the house clean, prepare his favorite meals which I do by following the meal time table cos he loves three different meals for each day. Most times he will come back with a different meal to be prepared for him after I must have made dinner. This must be accompanied with fruits or nuts to crack, extract, slice and serve. As this continued I became perplex and may complain but he never listened or appreciated all my efforts.

As years come by our population increased and I begged him to buy a washing machine. This is a no go area as he believes it makes one lazy. After much begging and no compliance for about two years I stopped washing his main clothes, but washed only his inner wears. I saved some money and got myself one. He was happy I did so and gave me 25% of the amount I bought it. I later learnt that that was a bribe to start washing his clothes again. All my married life I never had a full house help. His relatives will come, stay for some time and leave. Even while they're still around I prefer to do some things myself for some reasons.

Now this is my round the clock non paid job from from year to year. I'll wake up by 4:00 am to prepare children's snacks or meal for school, wake everyone up by 5:00 am for morning prayers, bath the children and at the same time have clothes rolling in the machine while breakfast sits on fire simultaneously. By 7:15 am I'm with the children on the road to school. Keeps them at school and gets back home to continue the outstanding works. I may come back to meet ex still sleeping or brushing his teeth. I will serve breakfast, help him choose his day wear and most times look for one document or car keys.

I tried to get a teaching job which can help me continue my “rat race” at home. None of them lasted for more than four months, reasons I couldn't figure out till today cos I believe I'm very good at that.

By the time I could say “ehee, time to rest” it's already 3 to 4 pm, time to get the children back from school. Preparing dinner, helping in homework, correcting complains from teachers if there's any, bathing and feeding them. Sometimes I still find time to play and tell stories with the kids. I buy everybody's wears including ex's, especially during festive periods. I guess that's the only time I have to get new things for myself. It never bothered me cos I'm happy putting smiles in the faces of people around me. I'm always preparing home-made groceries cos I'm good at most of them.

I could remember vividly a friend advising me on improving in my outward appearance which I gave little attention to.

By the time I'll retire to bed, it's already 11 or 12:00 midnight. And so it continues.

I never received any form of appreciation; either in kind or in cash. And to worsen it all, he became so abusive; verbally, physically, emotionally and would complain and blame me in every misfortune of his life. Life was so terrible living with him. Yet, I did not complain until he pushed me out and finally left.

Most times we focus all our energy into building our homes, that is wonderful, thereby neglecting ourselves which should come first, it's not being selfish. I celebrate every member of my family every year but I was never celebrated for the thirteen years we lived together. After reading a book, “what kids need most in a mom” by a retired white nurse; Patricia Standforth, I started changing my status but things have started going sour in my marriage and I was kicked out by hubby. He got a nullification note from the church, refused me access to the children, etc. Though I'm working towards getting a civil divorce from the court.

It's been two years now and alot of people could not believe it when they meet me, as a mother of five who's so young looking, energetic and sophisticated. I've got a lot of space and time to travel, learn new things, meet new friends and recently working towards getting an MBA.

And more importantly, I wouldn't want to be seen where I was left.

Edited : Obembet

eyah very sorry o
.so u where kicked out...i now see reasons with fernimism and single mothers ..tonto dike and tiwa salvage see wat u would have gone tru and still be kicked out..lucky u..may u find another good man so that u can start borning again kpele

Zi a spiritual issue

T

It's quite obvious the husband was this busy while she was having time to herself when they got married.
She wanted time to advance yourself yet she went ahead to sire five kids. And I'm quite sure the spacing isn't much. So at what point did she intend to find time to work on herself?
It's at this point that confusion over what she really want began.

holocron:
I put it to you that this is a tissue of lies and fabrication. OP sounds like an ingrate. You are serving/working for your family and instead of appreciating the results of your good works, you are grumbling, complaining and whining. Your husband struggles to do his part in upkeeping the family, you do not appreciate his role but you complain of your own role. You purposely abandoned your family and children for a fake independence and shallow ambitions and now you are regretting. You lost your cherished family for phantom degrees, career and independence. What shall it profit a man to gain the whole world and then lose his soul?

No mind her. For me doing house job is no job. I pay 25k for house job in Abuja, so what's de big deal. Did he force her to be a house wife. My bro have 5 house help, his wife works. De woman want use nagging n complain wan kill de man.

Because the tension no dey again

I knew it! All the intelligent Ones still on NL have observed your style too. I only checked the Name after reading and I was like yeah, I knew it! It's Obembet the Satanist again! Ever subtly programming minds of the gullible ones among Nairalanders against Marriage, God and anything godly. I Testify of you that over the years, you have planted seed of demonic deception and hatred for Marriage in the hearts of gullible young ones on Nairaland, you have sold many Souls into Demonic eternal Trap/Bondage by encouraging many to have multiple Sex-partners instead of settling down in Marriage, you have captured many Souls into Homosexuality for Satan your father, etc. You have truly faithfully served the purpose of Satan your father and captured unguarded Souls for him here on Nairaland. Yes, you have enjoyed your earthly rewards from Satan even at the expense of your Eternal Soul! However, I Announce to you on this Day: Saturday 13TH, November 2021 the Sabbath Day of our CREATOR that your End is no more Near, your End is Here already! For it is written that "you that led to Captivity for Satan shall surely become a Captive too!" The CREATOR of Humanity is about to Reward you according to the Destinies that you have slaughtered through subtle demonization of Marriage, popularization of Immortality and deceptive Dignification of Immoral Lifestyle!

obembet:
At 23 I got married immediately after my first degree. Had my first kid at 24, got a master's degree in my area of study, yet without a job. My ex was doing well in his business and he carried all the financial responsibilities of our home while I shoulder all the manual work; ranging from cooking, laundry, cleaning, buying groceries, making sure that every bills are paid, school runs, etc. All he does is to provide the money to carry all of those. I'm all- must -be -tidy kind of person so I made sure to maintain that.

I'll make sure I keep the house clean, prepare his favorite meals which I do by following the meal time table cos he loves three different meals for each day. Most times he will come back with a different meal to be prepared for him after I must have made dinner. This must be accompanied with fruits or nuts to crack, extract, slice and serve. As this continued I became perplex and may complain but he never listened or appreciated all my efforts.

As years come by our population increased and I begged him to buy a washing machine. This is a no go area as he believes it makes one lazy. After much begging and no compliance for about two years I stopped washing his main clothes, but washed only his inner wears. I saved some money and got myself one. He was happy I did so and gave me 25% of the amount I bought it. I later learnt that that was a bribe to start washing his clothes again. All my married life I never had a full house help. His relatives will come, stay for some time and leave. Even while they're still around I prefer to do some things myself for some reasons.

Now this is my round the clock non paid job from from year to year. I'll wake up by 4:00 am to prepare children's snacks or meal for school, wake everyone up by 5:00 am for morning prayers, bath the children and at the same time have clothes rolling in the machine while breakfast sits on fire simultaneously. By 7:15 am I'm with the children on the road to school. Keeps them at school and gets back home to continue the outstanding works. I may come back to meet ex still sleeping or brushing his teeth. I will serve breakfast, help him choose his day wear and most times look for one document or car keys.

I tried to get a teaching job which can help me continue my “rat race” at home. None of them lasted for more than four months, reasons I couldn't figure out till today cos I believe I'm very good at that.

By the time I could say “ehee, time to rest” it's already 3 to 4 pm, time to get the children back from school. Preparing dinner, helping in homework, correcting complains from teachers if there's any, bathing and feeding them. Sometimes I still find time to play and tell stories with the kids. I buy everybody's wears including ex's, especially during festive periods. I guess that's the only time I have to get new things for myself. It never bothered me cos I'm happy putting smiles in the faces of people around me. I'm always preparing home-made groceries cos I'm good at most of them.

I could remember vividly a friend advising me on improving in my outward appearance which I gave little attention to.

By the time I'll retire to bed, it's already 11 or 12:00 midnight. And so it continues.

I never received any form of appreciation; either in kind or in cash. And to worsen it all, he became so abusive; verbally, physically, emotionally and would complain and blame me in every misfortune of his life. Life was so terrible living with him. Yet, I did not complain until he pushed me out and finally left.

Most times we focus all our energy into building our homes, that is wonderful, thereby neglecting ourselves which should come first, it's not being selfish. I celebrate every member of my family every year but I was never celebrated for the thirteen years we lived together. After reading a book, “what kids need most in a mom” by a retired white nurse; Patricia Standforth, I started changing my status but things have started going sour in my marriage and I was kicked out by hubby. He got a nullification note from the church, refused me access to the children, etc. Though I'm working towards getting a civil divorce from the court.

It's been two years now and alot of people could not believe it when they meet me, as a mother of five who's so young looking, energetic and sophisticated. I've got a lot of space and time to travel, learn new things, meet new friends and recently working towards getting an MBA.

And more importantly, I wouldn't want to be seen where I was left.

Edited : Obembet

Op
From your write up here,you now regretting why your marriage failed.

You can still mend it only if ego will allow you to go back and apologise.

Getting all the certification in the world without a family is just a waste of time.....

Don't live in regret,go back and reconcile with your family.

Opeyemiextra:
This does not even happen in marriage alone. While living for others, we should also learn to live for ourselves.

Op had her masters. She Did well for herself buh she couldn't get a job due to 9ja factor or probably course if studies. Bcus she wen n did MBA meaning she might have done some courses that are low demanding in de labour market
Believe u in me de O.P wan use nagging kill de husband. N when there is too much nagging n complaint love dies immediately

Hathor5:
Did I get it wrong or you? I thought the husband kicked her out.

You're a woman so I understand you being unintentionally biased towards a fellow woman. But reading this story you could tell she wasn't saying the complete truth! She NEVER blamed herself for anything! I mean she didn't even own up to not being able to hold a job....this kind of people are fvcking manipulative. Everything was someone else's fault but hers!

Folly. A man, and a woman can build a great home. Both of them can join hands and reap the benefits of marriage. You all should stop making marriage look like an unending battlefield.

As you make your bed......

Go and ask the women that couldn't get married how it feels

obembet:
That’s the story of most African Women including my own mom.

I don't believe the details in this story, let the man also have his say before we can judge the matter. We are only seeing this from your own prism but we would get a better picture when your ex too tables his matter. Ahan?! After 5 kids?! He just got bored and decided to kick you out?! You guys didn't initially opt for therapy to find the root cause of your problems?

Toto dick will say another thing..


Even TY Savage



Oh kanywest ex wife abi

obembet:
At 23 I got married immediately after my first degree. Had my first kid at 24, got a master's degree in my area of study, yet without a job. My ex was doing well in his business and he carried all the financial responsibilities of our home while I shoulder all the manual work; ranging from cooking, laundry, cleaning, buying groceries, making sure that every bills are paid, school runs, etc. All he does is to provide the money to carry all of those. I'm all- must -be -tidy kind of person so I made sure to maintain that.

I'll make sure I keep the house clean, prepare his favorite meals which I do by following the meal time table cos he loves three different meals for each day. Most times he will come back with a different meal to be prepared for him after I must have made dinner. This must be accompanied with fruits or nuts to crack, extract, slice and serve. As this continued I became perplex and may complain but he never listened or appreciated all my efforts.

As years come by our population increased and I begged him to buy a washing machine. This is a no go area as he believes it makes one lazy. After much begging and no compliance for about two years I stopped washing his main clothes, but washed only his inner wears. I saved some money and got myself one. He was happy I did so and gave me 25% of the amount I bought it. I later learnt that that was a bribe to start washing his clothes again. All my married life I never had a full house help. His relatives will come, stay for some time and leave. Even while they're still around I prefer to do some things myself for some reasons.

Now this is my round the clock non paid job from from year to year. I'll wake up by 4:00 am to prepare children's snacks or meal for school, wake everyone up by 5:00 am for morning prayers, bath the children and at the same time have clothes rolling in the machine while breakfast sits on fire simultaneously. By 7:15 am I'm with the children on the road to school. Keeps them at school and gets back home to continue the outstanding works. I may come back to meet ex still sleeping or brushing his teeth. I will serve breakfast, help him choose his day wear and most times look for one document or car keys.

I tried to get a teaching job which can help me continue my “rat race” at home. None of them lasted for more than four months, reasons I couldn't figure out till today cos I believe I'm very good at that.

By the time I could say “ehee, time to rest” it's already 3 to 4 pm, time to get the children back from school. Preparing dinner, helping in homework, correcting complains from teachers if there's any, bathing and feeding them. Sometimes I still find time to play and tell stories with the kids. I buy everybody's wears including ex's, especially during festive periods. I guess that's the only time I have to get new things for myself. It never bothered me cos I'm happy putting smiles in the faces of people around me. I'm always preparing home-made groceries cos I'm good at most of them.

I could remember vividly a friend advising me on improving in my outward appearance which I gave little attention to.

By the time I'll retire to bed, it's already 11 or 12:00 midnight. And so it continues.

I never received any form of appreciation; either in kind or in cash. And to worsen it all, he became so abusive; verbally, physically, emotionally and would complain and blame me in every misfortune of his life. Life was so terrible living with him. Yet, I did not complain until he pushed me out and finally left.

Most times we focus all our energy into building our homes, that is wonderful, thereby neglecting ourselves which should come first, it's not being selfish. I celebrate every member of my family every year but I was never celebrated for the thirteen years we lived together. After reading a book, “what kids need most in a mom” by a retired white nurse; Patricia Standforth, I started changing my status but things have started going sour in my marriage and I was kicked out by hubby. He got a nullification note from the church, refused me access to the children, etc. Though I'm working towards getting a civil divorce from the court.

It's been two years now and alot of people could not believe it when they meet me, as a mother of five who's so young looking, energetic and sophisticated. I've got a lot of space and time to travel, learn new things, meet new friends and recently working towards getting an MBA.

And more importantly, I wouldn't want to be seen where I was left.

Edited : Obembet

He provides the money. He made u a full time house wife. You are an ingrate. He hustle all through the day to make sure u guys are comfortable. He takes abuses from customers from his business or bosses in the office just to make sure you and the kids dont lack anything. Have u in a day appreciated his efforts. Do u know what he goes through to make money? I guess u have never worked so wont know. U are here telling us rubbish. If u wanted a househelp, y didnt u get a job so u can be payin the salary of the househelp. U want him to go to work everyday and get u a househelp y u seat all day forming madam.
Reason i will never marry a full time house wife. Let both of us work, do the house chores and share the bills.

Hathor5:
Nothing? Did you read the OP?

Yes we did. The man lived up to his responsibility of providing for his family and YET it was somehow his fault? I mean he even gave her 25% of the money she she used in purchasing a washing machine and she still didn't do his laundry! The irony is that even the other 75% was also probably from the upkeep money she was saving from the husband's purse o. Person wey no fit keep job on multiple occasions where e wan see money buy washing machine. Many of you ladies prefer to learn from your own hard experience instead of learning from the mistakes of those that went before you.

Tonto did not improve o

Hate, anger, fear, worry,concern love empathy, vulnerability, truth hope faith. All this we experience in marriage. Sometimes we don't know how to relate with it. Some come in flood. Learning to regulate them is marriage. Not persons. If you can't you still in a better place that the one who has not even attempted it. That's were our improvement is or even after it's ended.

obembet:
At 23 I got married immediately after my first degree. Had my first kid at 24, got a master's degree in my area of study, yet without a job. My ex was doing well in his business and he carried all the financial responsibilities of our home while I shoulder all the manual work; ranging from cooking, laundry, cleaning, buying groceries, making sure that every bills are paid, school runs, etc. All he does is to provide the money to carry all of those. I'm all- must -be -tidy kind of person so I made sure to maintain that.

I'll make sure I keep the house clean, prepare his favorite meals which I do by following the meal time table cos he loves three different meals for each day. Most times he will come back with a different meal to be prepared for him after I must have made dinner. This must be accompanied with fruits or nuts to crack, extract, slice and serve. As this continued I became perplex and may complain but he never listened or appreciated all my efforts.

As years come by our population increased and I begged him to buy a washing machine. This is a no go area as he believes it makes one lazy. After much begging and no compliance for about two years I stopped washing his main clothes, but washed only his inner wears. I saved some money and got myself one. He was happy I did so and gave me 25% of the amount I bought it. I later learnt that that was a bribe to start washing his clothes again. All my married life I never had a full house help. His relatives will come, stay for some time and leave. Even while they're still around I prefer to do some things myself for some reasons.

Now this is my round the clock non paid job from from year to year. I'll wake up by 4:00 am to prepare children's snacks or meal for school, wake everyone up by 5:00 am for morning prayers, bath the children and at the same time have clothes rolling in the machine while breakfast sits on fire simultaneously. By 7:15 am I'm with the children on the road to school. Keeps them at school and gets back home to continue the outstanding works. I may come back to meet ex still sleeping or brushing his teeth. I will serve breakfast, help him choose his day wear and most times look for one document or car keys.

I tried to get a teaching job which can help me continue my “rat race” at home. None of them lasted for more than four months, reasons I couldn't figure out till today cos I believe I'm very good at that.

By the time I could say “ehee, time to rest” it's already 3 to 4 pm, time to get the children back from school. Preparing dinner, helping in homework, correcting complains from teachers if there's any, bathing and feeding them. Sometimes I still find time to play and tell stories with the kids. I buy everybody's wears including ex's, especially during festive periods. I guess that's the only time I have to get new things for myself. It never bothered me cos I'm happy putting smiles in the faces of people around me. I'm always preparing home-made groceries cos I'm good at most of them.

I could remember vividly a friend advising me on improving in my outward appearance which I gave little attention to.

By the time I'll retire to bed, it's already 11 or 12:00 midnight. And so it continues.

I never received any form of appreciation; either in kind or in cash. And to worsen it all, he became so abusive; verbally, physically, emotionally and would complain and blame me in every misfortune of his life. Life was so terrible living with him. Yet, I did not complain until he pushed me out and finally left.

Most times we focus all our energy into building our homes, that is wonderful, thereby neglecting ourselves which should come first, it's not being selfish. I celebrate every member of my family every year but I was never celebrated for the thirteen years we lived together. After reading a book, “what kids need most in a mom” by a retired white nurse; Patricia Standforth, I started changing my status but things have started going sour in my marriage and I was kicked out by hubby. He got a nullification note from the church, refused me access to the children, etc. Though I'm working towards getting a civil divorce from the court.

It's been two years now and alot of people could not believe it when they meet me, as a mother of five who's so young looking, energetic and sophisticated. I've got a lot of space and time to travel, learn new things, meet new friends and recently working towards getting an MBA.

And more importantly, I wouldn't want to be seen where I was left.

Edited : Obembet

Because they are single and probably searching.

What do I know, I never marry B4 not to talk if divorce. I think those with experience will stand a better chance to tell us why!

Charity4real:
Exactly my thought. You could have waited for the kids to advance more before getting back to your career. You must have nagged this man to the extreme for him to take such action. Probably you allowed bad advisers to deceive you out of your marriage.

I am in the same situation now; taking care of my children and giving my husband time to stand well here, but I am just taking my cool, even when my friends are working and grabbing there dollars daily, I am not moved because at the appointed time, everything will fall into places.

You're wise. Probably because you've seen it happen to someone very close or something. The pressure and wrong advice mostly comes from fellow women. It might even be from her sisters. I advice a lady in a relationship or marriage to have a trusted male (brother or uncle) for relationship advice in situations like this. You're 90% sure to get a more practical unbiased advice from them than your sisters or female friends.

Becouse they didn't marry the "God given partner"
Many marriages wia chosen by men not God who ordened marriage. Such marriages do collapse. Later they found their couple

Na if you fall you fit stand.