There is no crime if the wife earn more than the husband or even older than.
The truth is, in relationship people hide their motive/intention from their opposite and its up to the opposite to test his/her partner in several unrevealing ways and look for tiny red flag.
Something must always attract a man/girl to each other. Don't believe in that shits call love.

nenyewrites:



So from the story up there, you could already deduce that she didn't support him? Do you know how many times she could have loaned him money that he spent on failed projects? Then instead of owning up to his failures and striving hard, he chose to easier route and resorted to abusing her emotionally to kill her self-esteem. If you've not met such men, you're lucky.

A woman that can type this needless epistle on how she married a man below her who only wanted a loan, wouldn’t have missed out mentioning it if she indeed gave him MANY LOANS.

Sister, she gave no loan. Except you are the account officer, then you can tell us more about this couple.

She simply wanted him to go out there and start from ground zero. If you have money and you can’t use it to help your spouse, what is your impact? It is only normal they get angry. Like how da fck do you have a rich partner and you are out there breaking your back. Isn’t this the same excuse women give for underperforming in their homes? “He is not supportive. He doesn’t make life easy for them”.

There is no single justifiable reason for her action. She should go eat her money alone.

[quote author=Seun post=107687156]The main problem was that she didn't give him money. Why would you marry a guy if you dont trust him with money?

What she called emotional and verbal abuse sounds like they were fighting but she wanted to make herself the sole victim. The husband should have handled it better. He is not entitled to her money. But I think the lady contributed more to the failure of her marriage than she realizes.

She speaks of trying to get him to aspire higher which means she was not satisfied with his professional and financial status. So why marry him if his level was not high enough for you? She could have just given him money from time to time like most men who are richer than their wives tend to do.[/quote

Oga seun twaale

I swear you hit the nail well. I just fink that people normally see all these signs of incompatibility before marriage but they choose to be blinded by 'love' too bad.

Munzy14:

Life itself is a case of give and take...

No mata how common, common sense sounds, it is never that common.....You see self centered/entitled people, whether man or woman, runnnnnnnnnnn... ...otherwise na early call to glory..

Once I noticed that someone is close to me because of what he or she stands to get alone I immediately cut them off

She asked her daughter their only child to bear her name instead of her hubby's family name. She said the name's got no affluence attached to it

Godbless3:
There is no crime if the wife earn more than the husband or even older than.

The truth is, in relationship people hide their motive/intention from their opposite and its up to the opposite to test his/her partner in several unrevealing ways and look for tiny red flag.

Something must always attract a man/girl to each other. Don't believe in that shits call love.

May God open our eyes to the tiniest red flag. May we never end up getting married to someone with a shallow and twisted world-view.

Seun:
For whatever he needs. Men who are rich give money to their wives all the time. If a man is rich and never helps his wife financially I don't think the marriage would work, but it's usually not an issue because men are expected to provide for their wives. I think she was the defacto breadwinner but as a woman society had not equipped her for the role so she failed at it. The same goes for the man. I bet he didn't know how to use seduction to extract cash.

I swear I thought seun was a gentleman. I’m shocked

bukatyne:


Just extra two minutes reading would let you know the OP said the issue cuts across races.

It is not a black woman or Nigerian woman thing.

Concepts such as 'marrying up', 'hypergamy' etc. are not Nigerian concepts.

i thot michelle obama was a black woman, incase you don"t know there is no much difference between how a black american women think n how naija women behave, you see oprah choppin her money alone and how kim kardishian stood for west financially is only synonymous with gurlz beyond black skin

Amotolongbo:
Give him money to do what?
She can’t just be giving him money for no just reason. She can spend her money on the home, not giving it to her husband.

A man requesting for money from a woman is only trying to trade his pride as the head of the home.

The only time a man should be given money by a woman is when it is needed for a personal and mental development which will bring a fortune to the man and home

I'm sorry for you... With this perception, you'll be a terrible wife.

Magnoliaa:


Yup. As he rightly should.

Sorry honey but I don't go by that ideology.

Seun:
The main problem was that she didn't give him money. Why would you marry a guy if you dont trust him with money?

What she called emotional and verbal abuse sounds like they were fighting but she wanted to make herself the sole victim. The husband should have handled it better. He is not entitled to her money. But I think the lady contributed more to the failure of her marriage than she realizes.

She speaks of trying to get him to aspire higher which means she was not satisfied with his professional and financial status. So why marry him if his level was not high enough for you? She could have just given him money from time to time like most men who are richer than their wives tend to do.

GBAM!
I swear Baba I thought you were one of those annoying set of politically correct people who believe a woman can never do wrong.

All I see here is a woman that refused to help/support her man even though she could without any issues.

If this case were reversed, the man would be called stingy, wicked, irresponsible etc. He would be attacked viciously for not providing for his family.

Now its a woman & she has the guts to even come out in public and reveal this embarrassing detail about herself.

Women truly are about money. I pity any man who doesn't know this.

Seun:
For whatever he needs. Men who are rich give money to their wives all the time. If a man is rich and never helps his wife financially I don't think the marriage would work, but it's usually not an issue because men are expected to provide for their wives. I think she was the defacto breadwinner but as a woman society had not equipped her for the role so she failed at it. The same goes for the man. I bet he didn't know how to use seduction to extract cash.

the wonderful thing is if the whole dynamics change mid way into the marriage. That's like him falling down or she rising up the financial ladder. These things constitute internal stress to a man who has ego. He'll definitely drift off spiritually and run away because that would no longer be home to him.

And it will be very difficult for a woman who wasnt born into wealth to accommodate him patiently without giving attitudes at some point that will be very noticeable to him.

I swear down any confused feminist on this thread wey attack Seun will be decapitated instantly!

Try me & see

Seun:
For whatever he needs. Men who are rich give money to their wives all the time. If a man is rich and never helps his wife financially I don't think the marriage would work, but it's usually not an issue because men are expected to provide for their wives. I think she was the defacto breadwinner but as a woman society had not equipped her for the role so she failed at it. The same goes for the man. I bet he didn't know how to use seduction to extract cash.

Another GBAM!

Why can't women also provide like men since they always claim to be breadwinners too?

The titans of nairaland came out to respond to this post. That means this is such a sensitive topic to African men.

Pierocash:
A woman can earn more than man in the Western world and there will still be peace in the marriage.

In Nigeria here, a woman doesn't even need to earn more than the man before their ego begins to play out. Nigeria women believe that once they can be financially independent ,they don't need a man so they start acting rebellious and arrogant.

I tell myself,even if she earns more than me,I won't ask her a dime of her money,I will play my role without looking at her purse. By so doing, I will know if she is a supportive wife,or parasitic one

“In the so called west” men are also more hands on with family upkeep. It’s easier to be a wife who contributes financially if the man doesn’t leave all the domestic work for you. EOD!!!
Take it to the bank.

Nigerian men want women who play the roles of providers with them but will catch fire when they asked to help around in the home. Whack mentality!

Nigerian women
Smh

[s]

debbydams:
hmmm

[/s]

Talk na
No, talk fest!!

cococandy:

“In the so called west” men are also more hands on with family upkeep. It’s easier to be a wife who contributes financially if the man doesn’t leave all the domestic work for you. EOD!!!
Take it to the bank.

Nigerian men want women who play the roles of providers with them but will catch fire when they asked to help around in the home. Whack mentality!

1000 likes

KillIgbohoN0W:
[s][/s]

Shut up pig.
Your gender should drop the injury between their legs to worthier beings & be erased from this earth

Look at this useless fool. Nairaland men are shameless

pocohantas:
Her head is not okay.

Yenyenyen love.

You have money and you can’t use it to help your husband, you will now be disturbing his ears with love.

How do you claim to love someone and not help them in difficult times?

Useless love!

I swear to God I was looking for you on this thread.
Good thing your brain is connected today.

KillIgbohoN0W:
[s][/s]

Shut up pig.
Your gender should drop the injury between their legs to worthier beings & be erased from this earth

Go and take your meds

nenyewrites:



So from the story up there, you could already deduce that she didn't support him? Do you know how many times she could have loaned him money that he spent on failed projects? Then instead of owning up to his failures and striving hard, he chose to easier route and resorted to abusing her emotionally to kill her self-esteem. If you've not met such men, you're lucky.

She never made mention of supporting him in her story even when he asked her for a loan for a project.

No need assuming things. She never mentioned supporting him in her story

Amotolongbo:
Give him money to do what?
She can’t just be giving him money for no just reason. She can spend her money on the home, not giving it to her husband.

A man requesting for money from a woman is only trying to trade his pride as the head of the home.

The only time a man should be given money by a woman is when it is needed for a personal and mental development which will bring a fortune to the man and home

No man ever wishes to marry a woman for her money buh as a wife for crying out loud y can't u support or help him grow financially.U don't trust ur husband but u want him to trust you right? Honestly the part u said "he is trading his pride" is just emotional manipulation by women cos this is husband and wife not boyfriend and girlfriend pls.A reasonable woman should have been able to support her hubby with something she can afford to lose.If u can't give ur hubby money when he is in need then u shouldn't be trusted either.

[s]

cococandy:

Go and take your meds

[/s]

Dirty fat gold digging piglet
Your gender and entitlement mentality na 5 & 6

This pissed me off . Who is she advising after scattering her own relationship? What point was she trying to make. Someone should tell her to shut up!

If she is the breadwinner then she failed in her role, if she loved the man like she claims why wouldn't she build him up and invest in his dreams? Isn't it meant to be their home, two become one and all that?

I'm so pissed off after reading this, she still wants to play some sort of victim after all that.

[s]

Kholiwe:

Look at this useless fool. Nairaland men are shameless

[/s]

Disgusting piglet
Your gender is of no use to the earth. Leeches.

pocohantas:
Her head is not okay.

Yenyenyen love.

You have money and you can’t use it to help your husband, you will now be disturbing his ears with love.

How do you claim to love someone and not help them in difficult times?

Useless love!

First of all, their income should be joint income not a case his money or her money. It should be their money regardless of who earns it. But we are not ready for this conversation because people are stuck on their ways and what gender plays is supposed to play what roles .

KillIgbohoN0W:
[s][/s]

Disgusting piglet
Your gender is of no use to the earth. Leeches.

Go and tell your mother and sisters they are useless . You look hungry

SILVERLINES:


[s]Guys these days are becoming useless, they are even waiting and praying to meet Richer ladies to pay their bills.
Just few years ago God sent me a beautiful damsel, she wasn't bouyant nor coming from a rich home and then I was just struggling to stand on my feet. The say lady now my wife was depending on me to start a life, I evaluated her then and she was business intuitive and needed a start up for business, then I was a beginner in computer science, programming and informatics. My friends kick against the relationship bitterly in a sense that I am coming from a broke home and not doing well in life I shouldn't date a broke lady from a poor home. They advised me to look for a reach lady who can support me instead of taking from me reminding me our struggles in our university days. I almost harken to their voices, I was given my wife then girlfriend then hash attitude but she didn't stay away from me and me then I was already having some 'well to do babes' both acquaintance and friends. Some day a man told me about marriages stuff how men suffered even marrying richer women and lack of peace in their marital home, he told be there's a big difference between girlfriend and wife. To cut the story short I started given attention to my wife 'then girl friend' we sat down talk about life and future and what we can do to better our lives, I discovered right there she had already agreed marry be without even outer a word about marriage we already started discussing it just two of us. Babe came up with business ideas we agreed on one cos it wasn't called for big money. Then I was planning on out to move my company forward. Three months after I struggled for the money she started then business just two months in business babe was already bringing gifts to my house, there was a big difference as money was started coming from her side. Seven months after babe move into my house and we started leaving as husband and wife in a self-contained apartment, then I was a bit down financially and my babe carter for everything in the house including rent. I was somehow ashamed but she covered everything. Just few months after babe broke the pregnancy story as in d thing rang in my ear like thunder. I was furious like this babe has finished me she calmed me down telling me she has a savings somewhere that I shouldn't bother much, I became more crazy cos I was with nothing on my side, unprepared. Getting married or have a child in a single self-contained wasn't what I wished for myself. Jobs wasn't coming on my side. We survived on her business, my mother was calling for financial support, jeeeez I don enter again sixth months of her pregnancy we went for a scan it was twins, two baby girls, she came home happy and I was crying inside. Her support wasn't ok for me cos as a man I always want to take my true place as a man and piller of the house, was thinking how am I gonna attend to people when she put to bed? Which house am I gonna welcome visitors? As an introvert that I am. I noticed her business was thriving she even assist me with money to send to my mother at home, I couldn't just tell my mom that the money came from me, I opened up everything to her so at least she won't bother calling for financial help again in closing time on hearing this my mom wasn't happy she suggested I should have well stand on my feet before embarking on such journey. Eighth month just one month to put to birth I got a contract job with a company and two NGOs through a female friend in the university who directed me to her brothers cos she saw my numerous WhatsApp status adverts. Omo money start coming immediately and hurry that first money go rent 2 bedroom arraigned ham well though the babe was upset I supposed investigate the money for something me 4 my mind I was like dis babe no me u want disgrace when ur people go come see me for single bed with two girls and u together and una know as Igbo people de do now dem no too value in-laws wey no get money. I arraigned myself sharp sharp within one month plus na dey I know say money move at the speed of light boom the two girls in the womb had arrived, things got balance and jobs upon jobs keep coming. I employeed experts to work with in areas I wasn't too good in. Just last month we finished everything marriage rites traditionally and court as our dear church wanted to do anyhow for the wedding for the sake that we have children we move forward to Court. I thank God for bringing her into my life

[/s] but girls who want guys to pay their bills aren't useless?