₦airaland Forum

Actually it's wasn't advisable for a lady to stay in long-term relationship with guy who is not ready to get married, because their time is extremely limited,

folake4u:
How do people date for 4years?

It does happen. My sister dated her hubby for 11years before they got married to each other... By the time of their marriage, my sister's age was 30yr....

So, "different people with different ideology"....

Moreign001:
I for marry her while in school abi?

don't mind her jare she don high

Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age.

Women have 'Biological Clock'. She's 26, how much longer do you expect her to wait for you? How long would you advice your sister to wait for a man?

Wake up, smell the coffee, grow up and move on. Go build yourself and your future, then look for a woman then.

Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.

We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...).
We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..

She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.

So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.

Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites.
Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me. I pretended, I told her to tell her friend to "Follow Her Heart".

Last night she called, and said there's something she wants to tell me, I responded, "Is it what I already know?", she asked what? I told her she's getting married soon, and she said yes! I was speechless. I asked her for how long has this been going on, she said it started when she came to stay with her Aunt. We spoke, and I congratulated her, she started crying, I ended the call, sent her a good luck text.

This morning, she called and said she couldn't sleep last night. I asked her why she did it, why she decided to get married, she said she doesn't know. I asked if she likes the guy, she said yes. She couldn't stop crying and was saying I shouldn't leave her, while she's the one leaving me. I was totally down, but I have crazy friends. I WhatsApp a friend, told him what just happened, his words boosted me up. He said, " Support her, we move, no be God leave you". That was enough, but it's hard, really hard to move on without her, and she said the same thing and kept pleading I shouldn't leave her.
Now I'm asking, if I was the one who had left, what would have been the story? That I used her and dumped her, because this has always been used against the guys.
Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.

Just let the bitch go!

I assure you one day you will surely thank God for letting her out of your life.

I will forever remain grateful to almighty God for not granting my wish to marry one Gal that i intended to marry back then.

folake4u:
How do people date for 4years?

Madame lawyer, did you even read the post? They dated i school and school is 4 years

Op, She is above 25. You collect free stuff for 4 years. You didn't pay the bride price. You never told her you will marry her.
You wanted another 4 years of free sex. Then you will jump to a young girl. What is wrong with you? Leave the girl alone. She knows you were never going to marry her.

You can argue you are in school. So you could not have married her. Why didn't you engage her? Go see her parents. Etc. Leave the girl alone. You are just jealous you are losing a free sex.

From what I have read here, it's look like you are the guy in the story that you gave

felixzo1:
most ladies marry who is available when they want to marry. a man can get married even at 40 to a 20year old girl. women do not have that previlage ,their biological clock is not their friend. i will never advice any woman to wait for man. more 70 percent of campus relationship do not lead to marriage. finance is usually the major factor. I have a friend who dated a girl since his first year in school . They were always together, did everything together , they were even living together, their parents were even aware of their relationship. They behaved as if they cannot live apart. But after service year the story changed, the lady was willing to marry the guy but the guy was not ready due to finance. The parents of the girl were even willing to sponsor the wedding but the guy refused that he wanted to stand on his feet first. 6 months later the girl got married to someone else, went on to have 3 kids the ex boyfriend was still single. After 9 years the guy got married to a 20 year old girl. The ex girlfriend has grown up kids

Sholaco:
He didn't even gave her a ring self.. . Him no get money for ring

Hahaha

Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.

We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...).
We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..

She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.

So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.

Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites.
Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me. I pretended, I told her to tell her friend to "Follow Her Heart".

Last night she called, and said there's something she wants to tell me, I responded, "Is it what I already know?", she asked what? I told her she's getting married soon, and she said yes! I was speechless. I asked her for how long has this been going on, she said it started when she came to stay with her Aunt. We spoke, and I congratulated her, she started crying, I ended the call, sent her a good luck text.

This morning, she called and said she couldn't sleep last night. I asked her why she did it, why she decided to get married, she said she doesn't know. I asked if she likes the guy, she said yes. She couldn't stop crying and was saying I shouldn't leave her, while she's the one leaving me. I was totally down, but I have crazy friends. I WhatsApp a friend, told him what just happened, his words boosted me up. He said, " Support her, we move, no be God leave you". That was enough, but it's hard, really hard to move on without her, and she said the same thing and kept pleading I shouldn't leave her.
Now I'm asking, if I was the one who had left, what would have been the story? That I used her and dumped her, because this has always been used against the guys.
Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.

no let nigeria girls give you high blood fa
Na only few of them get better vission.

Don't let your bf stop you from meeting the loyl. Space keepers isonu.

IdreamOfUnicorn:
After four years of being with her you don't have intention to marry her and you expected her to stay put? You want to turn her to lord of the rings

na so the country easy abi
You people should stop fooling your selves.

Olayetan:
This makes me remember one of my ex who has been singing marriage in my ear but i told her then that, marriage isn't sure for me in 5years, just because, she doesn't want to wait, she met a guy during her service and conceived for the guy.

They did engagement and after 2months living with the guy, the guy do beat and maltreat her and she left the guy to her parents house and gave birth there, she then came back to me after a child to another man but i bluntly told her we can't be anymore...

Like how did she expect you to be with her, how can she come back, guy you get patience

adeolaben:
It does happen. My sister dated her hubby for 11years before they got married to each other... By the time of their marriage, my sister's age was 30yr....

So, "different people with different ideology"....

11years? Omooooooo!

Damn. She tried oh.

But like you said, different strokes for different folks.

luvmijeje:
See talk! If you are not married you are called names! We are shamed by families and by friends into marriage. We are been told if you don't settled down at 20's forget it at 30's. Society called women in their 30's different names. I understand why she couldn't wait

It takes a very very strong woman not to bend to pressure.

The single lives they are all afraid of is what they later end up with in their 30's and 40's but this time with kids. Is that not foolishness.

We marry when we want in our family. I don't want my elder sis to marry yet. She need to work on herself.
Ladies are looking for foolish excuse lol.
Tho is not truly On their part

Bro just know that she would come for premium Knacking anytime soon.... Congrats in Advance...


True words.."No be God leave you''

But I would advise,when she is married fully, please no more Knacking....hala

Gkay1:
I have the same challenge some years ago. It took me up to 3 years to recover because I love the lady and we planned our life together. I have no option than to leave the state to another state. After 5 years, I met another lady, now I m married and very happy and my ex have 2 children and she is the one taking care of the children alone. The guy walked away after just few years. I m not mocking her but whenever her friends talk about her in my presence, I always feel bad.
I don't really know why life is like that.

You right bro, same story here. And most of these girls are good girls, but sometimes poor background is the major problem.

Moreign001:
I for marry her while in school abi?

My guy hustle and make it big. Don't give shi shi to ladies .
When you're ready to marry go pick better gentle babe .

No reason your ex crocodile tears. just move on. Use success Shame them.

Aksnoopy:
This is why I don't waste my time on Nigerian girls.

If you are not bringing money, connections, idea and value to my life, I won't even date you. We will just be fucking carefully.

I am a man and I am hotcake.

Godspee, how far

Prechgold1180:
Chairman she is 26
Time is running out for her
U won’t think in that direction because he nur Dey affect you

4 years from now she go Dey 30

You ought to have planned life before graduation if you really loved her

U nur give her light day u wan marry her soon
Or u expect her to wait for u till forever

Person daughter give u 4 good years of her life
U Dey here Dey cap nonsense

I typed exactly what happened, if I "cap nonsense", then it means what happened is nonsense. But you have poor perfection, I typed exactly what happened, it's left for you to say she took a good move. I told her after our Nysc next year, was that too much to ask? Even though I had billions I still wouldn't get married until I'm done with my Nysc. And you are here talking about 4yr

AutoBodyParts:
In my final year in school, I was attracted to one of my classmates and she too was attracted to me. When I wanted us to get serious, the lady bluntly told me it won't work that she is looking forward to getting married asap and that it will take me years to be ready financially for marriage. I left her and moved on to someone else. 4 years later i was ready for marriage and I got married she is till yet to get married

Odogwu correct man.

Sirjendon:
You right bro, same story here. And most of these girls are good girls, but sometimes poor background is the major problem.

Lol good girls my feet. A lady who sees marriage as poverty elevating program will do this.
We need sensible ladies in our community

Prechgold1180:
Chairman she is 26
Time is running out for her
U won’t think in that direction because he nur Dey affect you

4 years from now she go Dey 30

You ought to have planned life before graduation if you really loved her

U nur give her light day u wan marry her soon
Or u expect her to wait for u till forever

Person daughter give u 4 good years of her life
U Dey here Dey cap nonsense

He should marry her in sch bah!
Did she even wait a bit?

Clash01:
This reminds me of my ex. We dated from 2017 while in school, I finished HND in 2018 while she completed her OND thesame year. We lived together in my final year, we were really in love even after our graduation we kept in touch but last year she called me and reminded me of how broke I was and how she knew waiting for me would be a waste of time. She broke up Early September 2020, I was down for a while but I decided to focus on myself and October that same year I reconnected with my secondary school sweetheart and from there Doors of opportunities opened for me. We got married Asap and my child is just 3weeks old, I was able to get a car 2days after my wife was put to bed.

Right now my ex and that guy that was ready are no longer together. She calls me almost everyday on video calls to show me breast and puzzy.

Find money my brother. Women no too normal.

and you self dey pick the call, you no be correct O.G

multiple4u:
Op, She is above 25. You collect free stuff for 4 years. You didn't pay the bride price. You never told her you will marry her.
You wanted another 4 years of free sex. Then you will jump to a young girl. What is wrong with you? Leave the girl alone. She knows you were never going to marry her.

You can argue you are in school. So you could not have married her. Why didn't you engage her? Go see her parents. Etc. Leave the girl alone. You are just jealous you are losing a free sex.

You mean why didnt he rush engagement during school time lol.

You must be a lady

Not only Lord of the rings, its queen of the zanga.

It could be parental pressure. Besides she is 26. Ripe age for marriage. But my problem is why didn't she discuss the issue with you to gauge your own opinion on when you would be ready to marry her. She shouldn't have made that decision hastily. You don't rush into marriage hastily oh.. It could also be because of money.. Dude is richer than her bf. You know how money changes people.

multiple4u:
Op, She is above 25. You collect free stuff for 4 years. You didn't pay the bride price. You never told her you will marry her.
You wanted another 4 years of free sex. Then you will jump to a young girl. What is wrong with you? Leave the girl alone. She knows you were never going to marry her.

You can argue you are in school. So you could not have married her. Why didn't you engage her? Go see her parents. Etc. Leave the girl alone. You are just jealous you are losing a free sex.

And I told her to wait after our Nysc? Free sex? I'm too bleesed to worry about that.

tollyboy5:
Lol good girls my feet. A lady who sees marriage as poverty elevating program will do this.
We need sensible ladies in our community

Hmm, that means na still poverty mentality dey worry dem.

Man needs to upgrade them self, hussle first make money and think of Love

Favfables1:
Read the post again...

This time veeeery s-l-o-w-l-y

felixzo1:
most ladies marry who is available when they want to marry. a man can get married even at 40 to a 20year old girl. women do not have that previlage ,their biological clock is not their friend. i will never advice any woman to wait for man. more 70 percent of campus relationship do not lead to marriage. finance is usually the major factor. I have a friend who dated a girl since his first year in school . They were always together, did everything together , they were even living together, their parents were even aware of their relationship. They behaved as if they cannot live apart. But after service year the story changed, the lady was willing to marry the guy but the guy was not ready due to finance. The parents of the girl were even willing to sponsor the wedding but the guy refused that he wanted to stand on his feet first. 6 months later the girl got married to someone else, went on to have 3 kids the ex boyfriend was still single. After 9 years the guy got married to a 20 year old girl. The ex girlfriend has grown up kids

The fact that she's got grown-up kids and still in the marriage does not necessarily mean she is happy (she might be though), but most times, from secret confessions of many ladies I know, they wished they waited for that Ex, time eventually irons out everything; but when you see them in public, they put up appearances as if all is well.

May we all have a happy ending.