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Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? - Romance (8) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by Forthepeople21(f): 3:02am On Nov 22, 2021
Is marriage only about sex and money in Nigeria? What happened to love, loyalty and commitment?

3 Likes

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by Forthepeople21(f): 3:05am On Nov 22, 2021
You’re delusional bro. “Good girls” don’t leave their BF to marry another MFer. You’re standards are real low, like on the ground low.

Moreign001:
I sincerely appreciate all of your comments, and words of encouragement, the criticism too helps a lot
.
Let me reassure you guys that I'm fine, relaxed and mild. I feel bad for myself a bit because I lost a wonderful woman, but I'm sincerely gleeful for her. I won't cut her off communications, I will stand by her, support whenever. One thing I understood about love is this. If you genuinely love someone, their happiness should be your first preeminence. Allow them to do what ever makes them happy, and still love them regardless.

Yes we spoke lengthy tonight, and I understood exactly how she feels, I understood deeply how our parents and guidance keeps pressuring their children, pupils and siblings against their wish, not just in marriage, but even in careers and others. And also how parents are forcing children into marriage in other to help in assisting the family burden. How is this right?

Life is love, so I have decided that I'm never going to cut her off, or act as if she never exist, she deserves better. But I will never get involved with her again. I'm mentally strong, and I built it on love. Right now i'm so concerned about her happiness, not her leaving me. I just want her to be happy and fine, that's all. We should never criticize people when they make decisions, maybe we would have made worst decisions in that same position.

Yes, I had intention of marrying her, she knew. She is not a cheat, she's a very good girl and I respect her. The main reason why I brought up this post was because lots of girls are after marriage, some are forced into it without having nothing to offer. I personally asked what's her plans after school, and she said she will open a shop (Food items) until after her Masters programs. I was ready and willing to support her.

I told her to hold on until we're done with our Nysc which should be next year by God's grace.

And those asking why I didn't marry or engage her... Even if I had billions in my account, I still wouldn't have married until I'm done with my Nysc. You don't rush it, we were students for 4years and that's our love duration, we needed at least some time outside school to see how ideal we were.

And to some persons saying she doesn't have time... I pleaded for just one more year, for our Nysc..
Don't encourage people to rush into marriage because of age, she just met this guy, they don't know and haven't tolerate themselves. This is one of the major reasons why marriage keep failing because it can lead to trust issues, violence and others. I understood her very well, she's a very jealous individual, and I can tell you that the new guy doesn't know this, now how about if he doesn't want a woman who is loaded with jealousy? But it's fine, many read to criticize, not to understand and learn.

My advice to every girl out there, try and add value to yourself, this won't just make your husband respect you, it will also stop your parents and guidance from going against your preferred wish.

8 Likes

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by portplus: 3:35am On Nov 22, 2021
"Support her, we move, no be God leave you".
Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by Prolificdeman: 3:39am On Nov 22, 2021
95% of campus relationship doesn't make it pas school gate...Una no go hear.

Focus on your life. There's more to life than marriage. There's time for everything the Bible says. Get your finance solidified first! My one cent!

4 Likes

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by Okwuapkunaonu(m): 3:43am On Nov 22, 2021
Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.

We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...).
We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..

She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.

So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.

Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites.
Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me. I pretended, I told her to tell her friend to "Follow Her Heart".

Last night she called, and said there's something she wants to tell me, I responded, "Is it what I already know?", she asked what? I told her she's getting married soon, and she said yes! I was speechless. I asked her for how long has this been going on, she said it started when she came to stay with her Aunt. We spoke, and I congratulated her, she started crying, I ended the call, sent her a good luck text.

This morning, she called and said she couldn't sleep last night. I asked her why she did it, why she decided to get married, she said she doesn't know. I asked if she likes the guy, she said yes. She couldn't stop crying and was saying I shouldn't leave her, while she's the one leaving me. I was totally down, but I have crazy friends. I WhatsApp a friend, told him what just happened, his words boosted me up. He said, " Support her, we move, no be God leave you". That was enough, but it's hard, really hard to move on without her, and she said the same thing and kept pleading I shouldn't leave her.
Now I'm asking, if I was the one who had left, what would have been the story? That I used her and dumped her, because this has always been used against the guys.
Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.

You're a man, I love your courage. And you have a good friend that gave you one of the best advice so far. God bless her new home. Bro forget about her and hustle up, I know is not gonna be easy on you. I prefer being treated that way, than treating someone that way. So that if am sleeping, I will sleep freely.

8 Likes

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by INCREDIBLE007(m): 3:48am On Nov 22, 2021
IAMBlesssed:
She wants to avoid being called evening newspaper by Nairaland guys..Lols

It's well Bro..Marry when you are ready.Dont let anyone pressure you into "doing pass yourself"..

Flesh and blood didn't reveal this to you
Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by INCREDIBLE007(m): 3:48am On Nov 22, 2021
IAMBlesssed:
She wants to avoid being called evening newspaper by Nairaland guys..Lols

It's well Bro..Marry when you are ready.Dont let anyone pressure you into "doing pass yourself"..

Flesh and blood didn't reveal this to you
Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by LivingTribunal: 3:51am On Nov 22, 2021
Moreign001:

Lol, thanks bro. But you just hit my wound! Bleep her, Chai.. My thing, lol.
Give it up already man, with reactions like this it won't be a surprise that she'd eventually start cheating on her husband with you.

1 Like

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by Nobody: 3:53am On Nov 22, 2021
Simply wish her good luck in her marriage and cut off the communication. You will only prevent yourself from moving on if you're communicating with her.

3 Likes

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by ema2020: 3:57am On Nov 22, 2021
Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.

We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...).
We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..

She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.

So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.

Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites.
Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me. I pretended, I told her to tell her friend to "Follow Her Heart".

Last night she called, and said there's something she wants to tell me, I responded, "Is it what I already know?", she asked what? I told her she's getting married soon, and she said yes! I was speechless. I asked her for how long has this been going on, she said it started when she came to stay with her Aunt. We spoke, and I congratulated her, she started crying, I ended the call, sent her a good luck text.

This morning, she called and said she couldn't sleep last night. I asked her why she did it, why she decided to get married, she said she doesn't know. I asked if she likes the guy, she said yes. She couldn't stop crying and was saying I shouldn't leave her, while she's the one leaving me. I was totally down, but I have crazy friends. I WhatsApp a friend, told him what just happened, his words boosted me up. He said, " Support her, we move, no be God leave you". That was enough, but it's hard, really hard to move on without her, and she said the same thing and kept pleading I shouldn't leave her.
Now I'm asking, if I was the one who had left, what would have been the story? That I used her and dumped her, because this has always been used against the guys.
Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.
oga leave woman try 2 make money all nigerian lady will run after u both married one

2 Likes

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by Shakur86(m): 4:07am On Nov 22, 2021
blinkz4real:
I love this .........support her, we move no be God leave you.
Inspirational
Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by ufotty2001: 4:41am On Nov 22, 2021
A woman will start becoming depressed when she is above 30yrs without achieving below things::
Husband
Financial independent
Child
Marriage
Any woman you see that have not achieve the above listed things when she is above 30yrs. Depression will start setting in..

4 Likes

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by Tonytonex(m): 4:48am On Nov 22, 2021
cooooooks:
This is abuse. Emotional abuse...and you're enabling it.

Stop taking her calls. Communicate by texts only.
let him just avoid her by all means. That's what I did. If not... Let everything be very official and formal. Mine, I don't call and she don't call. If she whatsapp me, I just ignore. BUT if she calls I will answer but it'll be formal conversation.
Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by abeeee(m): 4:59am On Nov 22, 2021
luvmijeje:


If I find someone I love and who love me in return, I won't mind waiting forever for him. Because those kind of relationship are rare. But heeeeee.... She is not me.
You are not you
Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by JesusDWay(m): 5:01am On Nov 22, 2021
Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.

We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...).
We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..

She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.

So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.

Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites.
Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me. I pretended, I told her to tell her friend to "Follow Her Heart".

Last night she called, and said there's something she wants to tell me, I responded, "Is it what I already know?", she asked what? I told her she's getting married soon, and she said yes! I was speechless. I asked her for how long has this been going on, she said it started when she came to stay with her Aunt. We spoke, and I congratulated her, she started crying, I ended the call, sent her a good luck text.

This morning, she called and said she couldn't sleep last night. I asked her why she did it, why she decided to get married, she said she doesn't know. I asked if she likes the guy, she said yes. She couldn't stop crying and was saying I shouldn't leave her, while she's the one leaving me. I was totally down, but I have crazy friends. I WhatsApp a friend, told him what just happened, his words boosted me up. He said, " Support her, we move, no be God leave you". That was enough, but it's hard, really hard to move on without her, and she said the same thing and kept pleading I shouldn't leave her.
Now I'm asking, if I was the one who had left, what would have been the story? That I used her and dumped her, because this has always been used against the guys.
Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.

Women sometimes aren't as strong as men, it's why she's reaching out to you. She's literally asking you to save her out of the situation she has found herself which is not totally wrong!

I will say you fight for it, especially since you don't mind getting married next year. If you choose to not go ahead, don't think it will be easy for you as well to move on. Trust me, it's 80% likely you will not find someone like her and at that stage, you would wish you fought to have her back, it's not easy to throw away what you both have built over the years.

Also, you should expect that at 26, that's very much what she's going to be thinking about - Marriage, she can be adding the value along the way, doesn't need to put one on hold for the other because, trust me, its better to start early!

Finally, fight to have her back. If she however doesn't come back to you eventually then, you will know you have satisfied your conscience and the ball is no longer in your court.

9 Likes

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by Ishilove: 5:05am On Nov 22, 2021
Moreign001:

Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites.
Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me.
Pele o, Joseph Alala.


Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.
The nauseating double standards. Let's not go too far. Let's start with Nairaland here. Just take a look at many comments by the average male who are quick to make derogatory comments about spinsters who have gotten to a certain age, so why will they not feel pressured into jumping into marriage even when in their heart of hearts they aren't ready? Is it not your brothers that call then 'evening newspaper' and 'Shiloh candidate'?
Abi do you want your Nairaland brothers to call her evening newspaper because she is waiting for you to get your shït together? Girls like your ex are pressured into taking drastic steps by the society they find themselves in so yes, marriage is an achievement for many of them because they get to be counted among the numbers of MRS. They escaped the stigmatization of old age Shiloh husband hunting.

When I see posts like yours my belle dey sweet me. Yes, I said it with my full, J-cup shest.

Ogbeni lick your wounds and move on je ka gbo ran.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by Ojb194616: 5:07am On Nov 22, 2021
Yoighaman:


The fact that she's got grown-up kids and still in the marriage does not necessarily mean she is happy (she might be though), but most times, from secret confessions of many ladies I know, they wished they waited for that Ex, time eventually irons out everything; but when you see them in public, they put up appearances as if all is well.

May we all have a happy ending.

Fact is, this is absolutely the reason why we are to stay away from sex before marriage.
Believe me, even if she had married her Ex , she will still imagine how life would have been perfect with her present husband.
Because every marriage has it moments.
And if that moments comes, we all start wondering.

5 Likes

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by bayulll011(m): 5:09am On Nov 22, 2021
Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.

We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...).
We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..

She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.

So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.

ment for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.

You are great guy.
I dont usually responds here but your good heart will make me to do so.
Let me share a story,i was dating a girl 4months back and we were flowing and all the vibes so she suddenly got and offered to move to Belgium though she told me and i was happy for her and all that but while showing my sincere pain that am gonna miss her and it gonna be hard on me seeing my girl go.do you know what she said,that she dosnt want to delay me and we should break up lol.

Typical women all they do is selfish interests.move on get a job and pls dint ever have a anything to do with her of she calls you picked at your convenience and don't feel bad at all.

10 Likes

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by nzeobi(m): 5:10am On Nov 22, 2021
Box18:
Dat is how many ladies got married to a man they don't love but still go ahead and marry him because he is financially ready and end up cheating on that same man with their ex boyfriend they truly love

What do you mean boyfriend they truly love. Guy you funny
Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by Fiscus105(m): 5:13am On Nov 22, 2021
luvmijeje:


If I find someone I love and who love me in return, I won't mind waiting forever for him. Because those kind of relationship are rare. But heeeeee.... She is not me.


Even if the person you love is not the man God ordained for you.

I don't know ur age, but you sound immature , the person you think you love, may change in nearest future and become monster, in addition to that, not everything that man desire that normally come his way, most especially in marriage.
Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by Bigpapi: 5:15am On Nov 22, 2021
Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.

We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...).
We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..

She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.

So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.

Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites.
Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me. I pretended, I told her to tell her friend to "Follow Her Heart".

Last night she called, and said there's something she wants to tell me, I responded, "Is it what I already know?", she asked what? I told her she's getting married soon, and she said yes! I was speechless. I asked her for how long has this been going on, she said it started when she came to stay with her Aunt. We spoke, and I congratulated her, she started crying, I ended the call, sent her a good luck text.

This morning, she called and said she couldn't sleep last night. I asked her why she did it, why she decided to get married, she said she doesn't know. I asked if she likes the guy, she said yes. She couldn't stop crying and was saying I shouldn't leave her, while she's the one leaving me. I was totally down, but I have crazy friends. I WhatsApp a friend, told him what just happened, his words boosted me up. He said, " Support her, we move, no be God leave you". That was enough, but it's hard, really hard to move on without her, and she said the same thing and kept pleading I shouldn't leave her.
Now I'm asking, if I was the one who had left, what would have been the story? That I used her and dumped her, because this has always been used against the guys.
Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.








Vigina people they will hurt you and still claim victim

2 Likes

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by Ishilove: 5:17am On Nov 22, 2021
cococandy:
After waiting for you to see how ideal y’all are , you’ll fix your mouth to call her old and inadequate. And act like you’re doing her a favor.

Na women wey mumu dey listen to guys like you.
I’d advice any lady to go with what benefits them and ignore guys like y’all.

Exactly. See them here yarning dust and talking about 'patience', but will be the first to call her evening newspaper once she clocks 30 and still a spinster. Rubbish.

12 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by Ojb194616: 5:24am On Nov 22, 2021
Moreign001:
I sincerely appreciate all of your comments, and words of encouragement, the criticism too helps a lot
.
Let me reassure you guys that I'm fine, relaxed and mild. I feel bad for myself a bit because I lost a wonderful woman, but I'm sincerely gleeful for her. I won't cut her off communications, I will stand by her, support whenever. One thing I understood about love is this. If you genuinely love someone, their happiness should be your first preeminence. Allow them to do what ever makes them happy, and still love them regardless.

Yes we spoke lengthy tonight, and I understood exactly how she feels, I understood deeply how our parents and guidance keeps pressuring their children, pupils and siblings against their wish, not just in marriage, but even in careers and others. And also how parents are forcing children into marriage in other to help in assisting the family burden. How is this right?

Life is love, so I have decided that I'm never going to cut her off, or act as if she never exist, she deserves better. But I will never get involved with her again. I'm mentally strong, and I built it on love. Right now i'm so concerned about her happiness, not her leaving me. I just want her to be happy and fine, that's all. We should never criticize people when they make decisions, maybe we would have made worst decisions in that same position.

Yes, I had intention of marrying her, she knew. She is not a cheat, she's a very good girl and I respect her. The main reason why I brought up this post was because lots of girls are after marriage, some are forced into it without having nothing to offer. I personally asked what's her plans after school, and she said she will open a shop (Food items) until after her Masters programs. I was ready and willing to support her.

I told her to hold on until we're done with our Nysc which should be next year by God's grace.

And those asking why I didn't marry or engage her... Even if I had billions in my account, I still wouldn't have married until I'm done with my Nysc. You don't rush it, we were students for 4years and that's our love duration, we needed at least some time outside school to see how ideal we were.

And to some persons saying she doesn't have time... I pleaded for just one more year, for our Nysc..
Don't encourage people to rush into marriage because of age, she just met this guy, they don't know and haven't tolerate themselves. This is one of the major reasons why marriage keep failing because it can lead to trust issues, violence and others. I understood her very well, she's a very jealous individual, and I can tell you that the new guy doesn't know this, now how about if he doesn't want a woman who is loaded with jealousy? But it's fine, many read to criticize, not to understand and learn.

My advice to every girl out there, try and add value to yourself, this won't just make your husband respect you, it will also stop your parents and guidance from going against your preferred wish.


Pls, cut all communications from her. She's with someone else. Most importantly she love the person.
Fact is, no girl at that age will just date because she want to get married. They've had something going probably for a long time. She's not that old.

She want to be with you because she feel guilty and probably see you hurt as you've tried for her.

Trust me, with time, when She's fine. She will not pick ur calls anymore. Then it will seem like u are disturbing her.

Move on, leave her alone, let her be.
Don't get stocked.

It hurts. U have to find peace.
There are somany wonderful ladies out there.

Go find urs and be greatful.

That girl never loved u. If u a good observer the signs has always been there.

If she did, no pressure will make her leave u.

I faced something similar early this year.

Seriously, I am really grateful it happened.

What I did was cut off, after waiting for a month or two for her to change her mind.

Now, I am getting married soon to a woman so lovely.

Like, the vibes she gives, I have, never seen that before.

13 Likes

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by aijazNija: 5:27am On Nov 22, 2021
slickycee:
When you friend said support her, what does he mean ?
OP God has already showed you since that she was going to leave you, so why are trying to still be around her


Reduce communication to it's minimum
and Focus on yourself bro.
You're the one that clearly needs support, her husband would love and bleep her in ways you can't imagine
Stop worrying bout her, she would be fine. Na guilty conscience dey worry am.

And yes you're correct, marriage and child birthing Is a womans greatest achievement.

Every other thing na wash

I will like to add. PLEASE avoid sleeping with her with all your might! When I say this, I mean that women can do anything to keep you around when they know they are guity (Run from goodbye sex). You might end up fathering her first child which may likely ruin her marriage later on, when you are happily married.

For your emotional heath find a new girl friend ASAP (If you are lucky to find a better girl, you will forget her in no time).

Lastly, work hard to be succesful. Good luck man

9 Likes

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by orisunmibare01(m): 5:39am On Nov 22, 2021
luvmijeje:


If I find someone I love and who love me in return, I won't mind waiting forever for him. Because those kind of relationship are rare. But heeeeee.... She is not me.

Though it happens but very rare indeed. Nigerian women no sabi this kind thing but the whites don't care. It's a culture problem.

1 Like

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by kaboninc(m): 5:40am On Nov 22, 2021
Moreign001:
I sincerely appreciate all of your comments, and words of encouragement, the criticism too helps a lot
.
Let me reassure you guys that I'm fine, relaxed and mild. I feel bad for myself a bit because I lost a wonderful woman, but I'm sincerely gleeful for her. I won't cut her off communications, I will stand by her, support whenever. One thing I understood about love is this. If you genuinely love someone, their happiness should be your first preeminence. Allow them to do what ever makes them happy, and still love them regardless.

Yes we spoke lengthy tonight, and I understood exactly how she feels, I understood deeply how our parents and guidance keeps pressuring their children, pupils and siblings against their wish, not just in marriage, but even in careers and others. And also how parents are forcing children into marriage in other to help in assisting the family burden. How is this right?

Life is love, so I have decided that I'm never going to cut her off, or act as if she never exist, she deserves better. But I will never get involved with her again. I'm mentally strong, and I built it on love. Right now i'm so concerned about her happiness, not her leaving me. I just want her to be happy and fine, that's all. We should never criticize people when they make decisions, maybe we would have made worst decisions in that same position.

Yes, I had intention of marrying her, she knew. She is not a cheat, she's a very good girl and I respect her. The main reason why I brought up this post was because lots of girls are after marriage, some are forced into it without having nothing to offer. I personally asked what's her plans after school, and she said she will open a shop (Food items) until after her Masters programs. I was ready and willing to support her.

I told her to hold on until we're done with our Nysc which should be next year by God's grace.

And those asking why I didn't marry or engage her... Even if I had billions in my account, I still wouldn't have married until I'm done with my Nysc. You don't rush it, we were students for 4years and that's our love duration, we needed at least some time outside school to see how ideal we were.

And to some persons saying she doesn't have time... I pleaded for just one more year, for our Nysc..
Don't encourage people to rush into marriage because of age, she just met this guy, they don't know and haven't tolerate themselves. This is one of the major reasons why marriage keep failing because it can lead to trust issues, violence and others. I understood her very well, she's a very jealous individual, and I can tell you that the new guy doesn't know this, now how about if he doesn't want a woman who is loaded with jealousy? But it's fine, many read to criticize, not to understand and learn.

My advice to every girl out there, try and add value to yourself, this won't just make your husband respect you, it will also stop your parents and guidance from going against your preferred wish.

You're still young and with young experience too. With time, you'll understand better.

I wish you well.

1 Like

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by Nobody: 5:43am On Nov 22, 2021
African girls and this BS mentally. Marriage is the Holly Grill to them, no self development, no dreams or passion. 5k in account balance, my husband will take care of me.

Next thing they are calling you for urgent 2k, please buy me a phone they haven’t payed my husband in months. See marriage is not your exit route to poverty, no man wants a liability so he might be well to do for now but when the bills start coming and you can’t contribute anything you will chop insults and emotional abuses everyday.

That’s why I don’t reason my ex’s once they are married, you can’t have a husband and be telling me you want to see me so I can give you money and probably fvck you, it’s complete nonsense.

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Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by kaboninc(m): 5:48am On Nov 22, 2021
Ishilove:

Pele o, Joseph Alala.


The nauseating double standards. Let's not go too far. Let's start with Nairaland here. Just take a look at many comments by the average male who are quick to make derogatory comments about spinsters who have gotten to a certain age, so why will they not feel pressured into jumping into marriage even when in their heart of hearts they aren't ready? Is it not your brothers that call then 'evening newspaper' and 'Shiloh candidate'?
Abi do you want your Nairaland brothers to call her evening newspaper because she is waiting for you to get your shït together? Girls like your ex are pressured into taking drastic steps by the society they find themselves in so yes, marriage is an achievement for many of them because they get to be counted among the numbers of MRS. They escaped the stigmatization of old age Shiloh husband hunting.

When I see posts like yours my belle dey sweet me. Yes, I said it with my full, J-cup shest.

Ogbeni lick your wounds and move on je ka gbo ran.

Is that really a reason for her to leave a loving relationship to a man she barely know?

Is that a reason to risk what you have built just because young Nairalanders with little or no experience say terrible things? Or do you live your life on Nairaland?

It's well.

8 Likes

Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by checkoutEnugu: 5:49am On Nov 22, 2021
Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.

We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...).
We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..

She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.

So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.

Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites.
Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me. I pretended, I told her to tell her friend to "Follow Her Heart".

Last night she called, and said there's something she wants to tell me, I responded, "Is it what I already know?", she asked what? I told her she's getting married soon, and she said yes! I was speechless. I asked her for how long has this been going on, she said it started when she came to stay with her Aunt. We spoke, and I congratulated her, she started crying, I ended the call, sent her a good luck text.

This morning, she called and said she couldn't sleep last night. I asked her why she did it, why she decided to get married, she said she doesn't know. I asked if she likes the guy, she said yes. She couldn't stop crying and was saying I shouldn't leave her, while she's the one leaving me. I was totally down, but I have crazy friends. I WhatsApp a friend, told him what just happened, his words boosted me up. He said, " Support her, we move, no be God leave you". That was enough, but it's hard, really hard to move on without her, and she said the same thing and kept pleading I shouldn't leave her.
Now I'm asking, if I was the one who had left, what would have been the story? That I used her and dumped her, because this has always been used against the guys.
Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.
Oni CC load am cash app, CASH OUT, if u get sure client bill am, if u no get money leave am, MAKE PERSON WEY GET LOAD AM.
Re: Why Are Women In A Rush To Get Married? by Experience285(m): 5:49am On Nov 22, 2021
Support her based on what? I put a clause to that... U move, no be God leave u, very correct.
That Girl is very wise, she wants to manipulate u emotionally!!!. Bro, for ur sanity, avoid her. Her husband should support her. The more u support her in any ways, the more u get hurts cos emotionally u will be attached to her. She wants to place on the SIMP LINE!!!

don't play with � it will burn your bossom. That tears is a crocodile tears, she already has that man since, waiting for full manifestation!!!!

My simple advise to u

# Avoid her, like the way Joseph did to portiphar's wife..

# Go on your knees and pray that God should give u your wife.. she is not your wife..
How will u know a woman is your wife?

Here are the three strong Confirmation

* Confirmation from the word of God

* Dream
* Peace!!! There is this Peace that passeth all understand that will just sink into your spirit, body and soul when u meet her.

One love.
I am Coach Harrison ( Relationship expert)

For further information u can dm me
08172964029 stay blessed

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