₦airaland Forum

OriOko88:
Lol..even tought there was a ready made man waiting to marry her after school,for her to have told u such bluntly. Or perhaps d guy dumped her

Moreign001:
Hello Guys, Good Morning and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I don't know how concise i can be, but I will try.

I just graduated last 3 months, with my girlfriend who's now my ex, and she's 26yrs of age while I'm 28yr.

We started dating from our 200level till yesterday, (that's approximately 4yrs and counting...).
We were ideal together, we were well known in school, to an extent where her friends and mine kept asking how? And wishing theirs was like ours..

She promised never to leave, and she please everyday that I should never hurt her. At times we jokingly talked about our future kids which is now a never happening fable.

So after we graduated, she travelled to stay with her aunt, we do check on each other everyday.

Last month.. She called, and said her friend needs an advice, that she and her date just graduated, and that another man is asking her out, and she's thinking of dumping her guy since he's not ready, and that the newly known man is ready to pay for her marriage rites.
Immediately I knew she was the one in the story, because I already had several dreams were she left me. I pretended, I told her to tell her friend to "Follow Her Heart".

Last night she called, and said there's something she wants to tell me, I responded, "Is it what I already know?", she asked what? I told her she's getting married soon, and she said yes! I was speechless. I asked her for how long has this been going on, she said it started when she came to stay with her Aunt. We spoke, and I congratulated her, she started crying, I ended the call, sent her a good luck text.

This morning, she called and said she couldn't sleep last night. I asked her why she did it, why she decided to get married, she said she doesn't know. I asked if she likes the guy, she said yes. She couldn't stop crying and was saying I shouldn't leave her, while she's the one leaving me. I was totally down, but I have crazy friends. I WhatsApp a friend, told him what just happened, his words boosted me up. He said, " Support her, we move, no be God leave you". That was enough, but it's hard, really hard to move on without her, and she said the same thing and kept pleading I shouldn't leave her.
Now I'm asking, if I was the one who had left, what would have been the story? That I used her and dumped her, because this has always been used against the guys.
Why are women in a rush to marry? They don't even add value to themselves, I'm now 80% in agreement that marriage is one of the greatest achievement for a woman, maybe in Nigeria.

blinkz4real:
I love this .........support her, we move no be God leave you.

baby124:
You are in denial. Well small minded people like you know nothing.

Moreign001:
Some women are the most confused and complicated beings.
I knew a guy, he told her date as of then that he wants to get married. And she said she's not ready. She was 24yrs of age.
This guy left her, got married to another girl. Right now she doesn't allow the guy to be, she's all over him, and the wife got to know about it which is causing a very big issue in their home.

Clash01:
This reminds me of my ex. We dated from 2017 while in school, I finished HND in 2018 while she completed her OND thesame year. We lived together in my final year, we were really in love even after our graduation we kept in touch but last year she called me and reminded me of how broke I was and how she knew waiting for me would be a waste of time. She broke up Early September 2020, I was down for a while but I decided to focus on myself and October that same year I reconnected with my secondary school sweetheart and from there Doors of opportunities opened for me. We got married Asap and my child is just 3weeks old, I was able to get a car 2days after my wife was put to bed.

Right now my ex and that guy that was ready are no longer together. She calls me almost everyday on video calls to show me breast and puzzy.

Find money my brother. Women no too normal.

Kayyy:
So let me get this right , virtually everyone came up with excuses while it was right for the girl to move on, not saying some were genuine or not, now when all agree that this is the way most women see themselves in their mid to late 20s, why do we have a lot arguments when people talk of hypergamy, women seeking financial comfort and all from men before getting married , why do we have back and forth when issues like women looking for providers all the time, looking for comfort and rich men all over, why do we have arguements when there is issue of marriage being the only important thing a woman is thinking about in her 20s ?

Here we have a lady that is just finishing school and has not even served not to talk of having a job and independent planning a marriage and y'all feel it's normal and some even said all girls think along such line, the same people advocating for her and giving excuses will be the set to come out to debunk the hypergamy and comfort talk. It is well

AreaFada2:
My brother, it's a major reason a lot of kids do not belong to their supposed father but other men outside. Paternity fraud.

From comments here, especially from ladies, it's about biological clock, women being ready to marry in their 20s, friends, family and Nairalanders will be shaming unmarried women at 30, she married a guy who was ready, blah blah.....

Now the following seem to be the case:

Girls can marry just anyone ready to marry them.
Marriage is a major achievement.
Love has no role in marriage at all.
The woman has no will or power to defy what society will say but just a zombie following others. But a guy should always stand by the woman.
A girl might just accept to marry you as a shaming escape opportunity.
The woman can just leave a guy, no biggie.
A woman can leave one guy and go straight into marrying another man, the former has no right to make pim...
A lady with a guy can be scoping and tasting other guys if one of them will marry her.

Well, if this is what women are telling us we should accept from girls, then guys better wise up. A guy should know what to do and play the game better. He who meets a killer in a quiet, narrow alley must sort himself out and find a way to stay alive.

adeolaben:
It does happen. My sister dated her hubby for 11years before they got married to each other... By the time of their marriage, my sister's age was 30yr....

So, "different people with different ideology"....

ikenna44:
Oga... You just dey speak English! As long as you are in this Nigeria and you're married to a Nigerian woman... All they know is money...I'm saying it with my full chest and I stand by it 40000%!

Sirjendon:
Egbon, money involved why she marry you, she was only contend with what you have then..

Just talk sey ur why was content with what u have.

authority2006:
That's not "just speaking English", I talked about my wife and she's a Nigerian woman too.

authority2006:
That was my experience, no money was involved. You concluded as if I didn't have exes who stopped our relationship just because I didn't have money. Just be hopeful to meet one because when you do, you will be surprised.
There is still something about her commitment that you won't even believe if I tell you.

BRATISLAVA:
How old is she now?

How did she manage the relationship for 11 years? Was it top secret? Is it that he proposed early to tie her down?

adeolaben:
Just celebrated her 40th birthday

She had to study of course ... Polytechnic ND.... Then after this double major bsc from a university... After service... Then marriage .... Has 2 male kids now....with a full stop on baby making ...

Well I think what actually made the relationship survive was the influence of religion I believe..... Though I'm not very religious myself but my other siblings are....

davies:
my brother, that's the traits of our ladies of today. i was once in your shoe but i had to let go. i also shared my story on nairaland and i got several advice. funny enough is that she came back to my house 3 months after her marriage and she kept crying and telling me she regret ever getting into the marriage.
i wont lie to you, she will come back and Bleep you.

BRATISLAVA:
This your full stop can become a comma at any time. Never say never to the baby making business.

perryy:
Relax, she was never yours ! Yours is still being bleeped by another guy somewhere just the same way you were bleeping this lady who now found her real owner. You were just a part time owner , the real owner is her husband. Pray your own discover you on time do that her stuff won't be over used before she eventually meet you. What just happened to u had happened to 99% of men here, including me . So, every real G should expect it.

Mariangeles:
How cruel!

Then again, it's a cruel world.

ikenna44:
And I'm telling you that your wife is with you because you are still meeting her needs...

The day her needs get bigger than what you can provide... It's over!

Munzy14:
Realities of life.

Mariangeles:
Ike gwuru o!

Onye owula ga e nwetecha onye kwerela ha ni.
That is why I say people with equal level of sexual experience deserve each other.

Munzy14:
Lol..Abii

But, nwoke kwesiri i nwe tu more experience, so the whole thing won't be soo boring.

Mariangeles:
Nani nwoke? Nwaanyi kwanu?

Experience aside; it won't always be boring.
In fact, it will be even more exciting for two inexperienced discovering themselves together.
It can only be boring for a sexually advanced with an inexperienced, which isn't fair.
The sexually advanced will force the inexperienced to catch up which is exploiting.

itodojr:
Reason behind your decision not to marry a woman your age difference is not loud enough

Munzy14:
Hehehe...nwoke mara to an extent, owunu the lady ga eme ya enjoy...
But if woman sabi pass, the man won't measure up..O ga adi ka nwunye ya owu bu akwuna..

Every woman is willing to catch up, as long she really like the man in particular..I ji umu nwaanyi egwuriegwu hehehe...few weeks, she will be good at bedroom skills...All she needs is the man making her comfortable, the moment a woman becomes proud of her body and being naked around her man, nwoke ga agbazi oso na oru sef.. in a funny way.

And again, the easiest way to helping her achieve that comfort is, don't ever judge or compare eachother...Everyone is unique..And moves at their own pace..

Lastly, the endearments...Those ones that comes from him as you both are naked, the burst head..

Hapu, ihe i huru mee, nwoke kwesiri i nwe experience...In all it benefits both most..Sex is more than just uncloth, penetrate and sleep..mba nu..Their is more of exploration that makes the General satisfaction of which is gotten from experience...I have come to realize all women are not the same..How you follow Ngozi is different from how you will folllw Nkechi in other to get best of her..

Ones nwaanyi di happy, o nwehu ihe o na agahu emere nwoke ya na ya so.. ..Same with the man.

NickiSlay:
Your mom must have a fish brain too then