Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

Mercychen:


Exactly!
God bless you.



You know with the female family planning comes a lot of risk and issues of mismatch or even failure which leads to unwanted pregnancies. While the male type is safer and with less risks.

yorubarere:

I have told you before and I will still say it again. You are too bittered to be married. Just wait and see what will happen in few years. U will remember I said it first

Michelle55:

When you are through giving me instances of how their relationship should be, you might as well patch things up between them.
Calling someone darling doesn't mean a thing (you can ask those who use such endearment often) like I said, a reasonable and right-thinking man knows what's good for his family and doesn't need much convincing to agree.

The moment he grudgingly agreed, she could have asked him what he truly wants and then both of them can reach a compromise and not she insisting on that one-child policy of hers. If it's that important for her to give birth to one then she should get the family planning done on her.
Kapish!

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

AdaSunshine:
Your terms and conditions are just simply too much, a huge turn off.

-Don't you think that is too much of a sacrifice to ask of someone you're not married to?

-Do you think you're worth that sacrifice?
Why would you ask someone to give up their fertility?
-How far have you gone with him to dare to ask that of him?
-Do you know the magnitude of the sacrifice you're asking for?
- Isn't that selfish of you?

-Will you be ready to take the blame later in future?
If I were the guy, I'd take that as a red flag.
I'd be the one to opt out.

JovialJune:



Eyah, it is not my fault your mother and sisters were/are docile enough to marry men that relegate them to the kitchen rather than having a voice, that is why you have the mentality that women bold enough to counter or see things in different light are bitter, which is more or less due to your limited environment and enclave, your disjointed thought process, and limited brain capacity, that is why you, a mere moniker on a faceless forum, think you know my life enough to predict your future and that of your generation, not mine.

How sad

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

CAPSLOCKED:
THE MAN IS A VERY STUPID PERSON, PLEASE DUMP HIM.

HOW CAN HE NOT WANT VASECTOMY?

SO HIS PLANS WHEN YOU DIVORCE HIM OR DIE YOUNG IS FOR HIM TO REMARRY AND FATHER OTHER KIDS. WHAT A SELFISH MAN.

MY SISTER Mercychen PLEASE LEAVE THAT SELFISH SMALL BOY TODAY AND LOOK FOR A REAL MAN THAT WILL GO AS FAR AS CUT OFF HIS PENĮS JUST FOR YOUR HAPPINESS.

UDUJ:


Thank God I am not the only one that noticed. She is a pathetic liar. Those of us old timers know her from her previous monikers. Attention seeking bitch.

Mercychen:


A slight twist you call it but I've heard of so many women who later had issues with family planning they did.

It's easier for the men because their system is not so complex like that of women.



We already discussed about all the other methods especially condom and he said, for how long is he going to be using condom on his life time wife. He already kicked against the idea.

Woh, I'm tired.

meobizy:
Good Lord. I had to skim past a lot of filler before reaching the main gist.

Vasectomy is safe and reversible. Maybe he’s mistaking it for sterilization which means he won’t bear children after the procedure. This is a situation where communication would draw a middle ground. You plan on having one child (which you’ll change your mind against in future) while he’s picturing two or more. Find a more willing candidate and leave him alone. There are many childless late forties to early fifties males who would grant your request quickly.

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

Acidosis:


Tell her the truth please. If your brother is not one of those "lot of guys", then you're not being sincere.

Everything no be gender war and gender alliance. Ladies should sometimes see things from their brother's perspective. Men with sisters should do same too. That's how to maintain a meaningful stance on issues.

AdaSunshine:
Your terms and conditions are just simply too much, a huge turn off.

-Don't you think that is too much of a sacrifice to ask of someone you're not married to?

-Do you think you're worth that sacrifice?
Why would you ask someone to give up their fertility?
-How far have you gone with him to dare to ask that of him?
-Do you know the magnitude of the sacrifice you're asking for?
- Isn't that selfish of you?

-Will you be ready to take the blame later in future?
If I were the guy, I'd take that as a red flag.
I'd be the one to opt out.

Prettiepearlz:
In my opinion, this is how marital problems start oooo. That man did not agree wholeheartedly with your one child policy, he reluctantly agreed after much conviction from you and no one knows how much energy you put into convincing him to agree to your one child rule. Personally, I am not a fan of plenty kids in this our not so friendly economy however it has to be an agreement that from both parties willingly and not reluctantly. That being said, the NO clearly means NO and it is an indication that they guy is not on board with your plans and probably plans to sort himself out in the future perhaps it could ego or ignorance about the vasectomy procedure. Besides you are the one who wants one child, the responsibility is on you to prevent yourself from having another. He clearly doesn't agree with your suggestions and you know it. Let him go and you can find someone who agrees with what you want. If you eventually coerce him into doing your bidding, he will resent you later on in your marriage and trust me you don't want to live with that. Find someone else who agrees with you and your wants and please let him also get someone else to give him the number of kids he wants. You two are clearly not on the same page. Finally your reasons for not wanting to be the one to do the child control is very selfish. You come off selfish with your assertions. I wish you both the best in your endeavours.

UDUJ:


Sarcasm at it's best

Good to have you back Capsy

AdaSunshine:
Your terms and conditions are just simply too much, a huge turn off.

-Don't you think that is too much of a sacrifice to ask of someone you're not married to?

-Do you think you're worth that sacrifice?
Why would you ask someone to give up their fertility?
-How far have you gone with him to dare to ask that of him?
-Do you know the magnitude of the sacrifice you're asking for?
- Isn't that selfish of you?

-Will you be ready to take the blame later in future?
If I were the guy, I'd take that as a red flag.
I'd be the one to opt out.

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.




Even me that am done with child bearing, I can't do that . I like the fact that I can still score goals off the pitch.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

Pinkzebra:
He doesn't have an ulterior motive, but he is scared . As an African man, knowing he can't impregnate a woman and doing that willinging will wreck his ego. Since you brought the game of having one child , then cut off your fallopian tube . Is not risky , at least you get your period and get to enjoy sex without fear of pregnancy . So bear the burnt and leave him out or better still keep trying until you get a man who will dance to your tune .


On a lighter note : may my son not meet a woman like you, iseeeee!

yorubarere:

E pain am
I still repeat it. You will grow s*d later. Cos that man will surely leave one day.

Remember I said it first.

Debra911:
To all feminist on this NL, you're fighting for something useless and aimless

MufasaLion:
Vasectomy needs more awareness. Most men don't understand how it is and most people don't even know it exist. You just gotta talk to him and explain things to him. Most people believes family planning is only done to the females.

Moreover, ego is among the reasons he kicks against vasectomy. An average African man wouldn't want to live his life knowing his semen is useless.

Dreadshy:
What is sauce for the goose is also good for the gander... tie up your tubes if you dont want more kids, simple. Trouble will end, relationship restored