Good morning peeps.

Please I will try as much as possible to make this narration short because I need advice on how to handle this issue.

I have a boy that works for me ......he is from calabar, one thing sha lead to another a lady got pregnant for him ......fast toward to October she had an early delivery so the baby is premature.

The baby was referred to a federal government hospital since October.....the girl father have being the one paying majority of the bills due to the guy financial situation before some group of ngos donated about 900k to the baby.

A lady came around on Friday claiming to be the girl sister and forcefully discharge the baby claiming the hospital is just collecting money without doing anything......she said the baby will be taking to a better private hospital......the baby needs a minor surgery but can't be operated yet due to being a premature.

Yesterday the girl father came around and discovered about the baby being discharge ....he started calling the boy threatening him.....I intervened letting him know it was the girl sister that asked for the baby to be discharged....he told me the girl doesn't have a sister.

We move there yesterday night......on getting there the man said the baby need to be readmitted again but the hospital said they can't..After so much begging they accepted.
The issue now is nobody is allowing this guy have a say....anytime he try to talk they all shut him up.

He was blamed for what happened instead of the lady....which I had to speak up for him......the lady sister was the one who signed for the baby to discharged and instead of taking them to a private hospital this lady took them to her house.

So after studying everything I discover the girl family wants to sideline him because of the 900k ......they don't want him to know anything about how the money is spent........the guy is trying is best to pay for somethings he can infact him and girl are living in the hospital.

He is not educated and not smart....his mother refused to help out so he is all alone.

Please nl how do I help this guy gain access to how this money is spent and stop the girl family from treating him like a nobody.

Note: the surgery requires about 200k from what I learnt.

It's well

Tell him what you just told us


People can be funny sha. Their ringtone changed when they saw money.

Tell him to let go of the money. I'm very sure the girl's family will kill themselves for the money.

Poverty na curse. As a poor guy, unmarried to the girl, and being irresponsible to the baby's upkeep, he should just stay back and let the girl's family take care of the baby. Dick alone is not what makes a man.
Poverty strips you of some rights.
As for you, what fight do you want to fight? Is your boy married to the girl? Please use that strength to educate your boy and other youths on the need to register and vote credible persons come 2023.

Karleb:
Tell him what you just told us


People can be funny sha. Their ringtone changed when they saw money.

Tell him to let go of the money. I'm very sure the girl's family will kill themselves for the money.

Isn't even about the money....is the boy having a say aleast.

excellence44:
Poverty na curse. As a poor guy, unmarried to the girl, and being irresponsible to the baby's upkeep, he should just stay back and let the girl's family take care of the baby. Dick alone is not what makes a man.
Poverty strips you of some rights.
As for you, what fight do you want to fight? Is your boy married to the girl?

And when the baby is discharge what happens ??...the girl family will keep on taking care.

I'm sorry to say but he has to step back and humble himself. It's not his money so he has no say on how the money is spent. He needs to do his bit and be patient until they pass this stage. It's not a time for ego. He should be grateful for the father who stood in where his family stepped back.

Double0h7:
I'm sorry to say but he has to step back and humble himself. It's not his money so he has no say on how the money is spent. He needs to do his bit and be patient until they pass this stage. It's not a time for ego. He should be grateful for the father who stood in where his family stepped back.

....Wanted to comment but had to stop after reading yours.

Dear op,this guy have said it all.

Double0h7:
I'm sorry to say but he has to step back and humble himself. It's not his money so he has no say on how the money is spent. He needs to do his bit and be patient until they pass this stage. It's not a time for ego. He should be grateful for the father who stood in where his family stepped back.

U guys are not getting me .....isn't about having a say about the money but rather knowing how the money is spent.

So what if the surgery cost 200k and the girl family decides to share the remaining 700k among themselves?? That ok

Godoverevery:

U guys are not getting me .....isn't about having a say about the money but rather knowing how the money is spent.

So what if the surgery cost 200k and the girl family decides to share the remaining 700k among themselves?? That ok

As long as the child gets his surgery and recovers he shouldn't care about the money because it wasn't his money to begin with. It's not only by cumming that makes one a father so he needs to take a back seat until he can foot his child's bill. Why would he be eyeballing charity that was given for his child. As long as the child is okay that's all that should matter to him.

My brother a man that fight for the weak and vulnerable is a wiseman

JONNYSPUTE:
....Wanted to comment but had to stop after reading yours.

Dear op,this guy have said it all.

Op might make things worse if he doesn't mind his own business. The guys family abandoned the child and her family have stepped up, shouldn't he be grateful and get to work so he could support this child going forward?.

Godoverevery:

U guys are not getting me .....isn't about having a say about the money but rather knowing how the money is spent.

So what if the surgery cost 200k and the girl family decides to share the remaining 700k among themselves?? That ok

Let them share it among themselves

Hi good day ..

First and foremost the baby have to be in a neonatal section of the peadeatric ward of any government hospital ..private hospitals don't have the facilities to take care if them .

The 900k won't be enough to take care of a premmy that needs surgery ..


Surgeries for infants are subsidized in most govt hospitals

In Lasuth it cost 60000 for major surgeries ..

The child wouid have repeated serial testing ,, ..medication and care .

Even after discharge ..

Further attention wouid still be needed

Was in the same situation
Spent over 1.5 million .. friends contributed ..

A lot of efforts goes into taking a premmy ..

The overall health of the child is what is important .

Let ur boy stay off since there is fund and he has no say presently ..

What he should do is still visit the girl buy food and some of he needs ....

When he is chanced to run errands of buying medication or visiting the labs and it's affordable let him handle that .

U need funds to keep that baby alive ..

God bless u

Godoverevery:

U guys are not getting me .....isn't about having a say about the money but rather knowing how the money is spent.

So what if the surgery cost 200k and the girl family decides to share the remaining 700k among themselves?? That ok

oga forget about the money, after all he's not married to the girl, what's 700k self, he should be after his baby surviving, nna poverty get power ooh, if not for that money, would he have provided money for the surgery or even you his oga, would you have financed the surgery. was the NGO through you or the boy, from your topic I don't know what you want to fight for, money or the baby.

Double0h7:


As long as the child gets his surgery and recovers he shouldn't care about the money because it wasn't his money to begin with. It's not only by cumming that makes one a father so he needs to take a back seat until he can foot his child's bill. Why would he be eyeballing charity that was given for his child. As long as the child is okay that's all that should matter to him.

so what u re saying is after d child is okay is money not required to take care of d baby? At least some part of d money should be kept for d well being of d child. If not for poverty why would d girl's parents be deciding on what should happen to his child? It's like saying I have a child and my father in-law would tell me what goes with my child.

Pious101:
so what u re saying is after d child is okay is money not required to take care of d baby? At least some part of d money should be kept for d well being of d child. If not for poverty why would d girl's parents be deciding on what should happen to his child? It's like saying I have a child and my father in-law would tell me what goes with my child.

which part of Nigeria are you from, that nigga can not claim that baby, if he wants to be wise let him perform all the marital rite for the girl, before calling that child his own. you are a man, imagine this was your daughter, and who told you that man is his father in-law.

Stenewiser:
oga forget about the money, after all he's not married to the girl, what's 700k self, he should be after his baby surviving, nna poverty get power ooh, if not for that money, would he have provided money for the surgery or even you his oga, would you have financed the surgery. was the NGO through you or the boy, from your topic I don't know what you want to fight for, money or the baby.

If 700k is indeed nothing, then the girl's family should have a plan for the baby, mother and father with it, no trying to embezzle it.

He should forget about the money as long as the baby is okay

Karleb:


If 700k is indeed nothing, then the girl's family should have a plan for the baby, mother and father with it, no trying to embezzle it.

how are you sure that boy can handle the 700k, didn't you hear him mentioning the girl's family paid majority of the bills before the NGO money came in, how old is this boy self, so without that NGO money wouldn't he have taken care of his baby, you think impregnating is what only makes one a man.

You want a poor man to have a say

He has to be calm and watch out

900k wan cause kasala

If to say NGO no donate money nko

He should be more concerned about his baby,let him or her be taken good care of...if the matter con pass him level,he should then contact the NGO that made the donation and tell them wetin dey sup....they can help him out.

Best regards

Godoverevery:
Good morning peeps.

Please I will try as much as possible to make this narration short because I need advice on how to handle this issue.

I have a boy that works for me ......he is from calabar, one thing sha lead to another a lady got pregnant for him ......fast toward to October she had an early delivery so the baby is premature.

The baby was referred to a federal government hospital since October.....the girl father have being the one paying majority of the bills due to the guy financial situation before some group of ngos donated about 900k to the baby.

A lady came around on Friday claiming to be the girl sister and forcefully discharge the baby claiming the hospital is just collecting money without doing anything......she said the baby will be taking to a better private hospital......the baby needs a minor surgery but can't be operated yet due to being a premature.

Yesterday the girl father came around and discovered about the baby being discharge ....he started calling the boy threatening him.....I intervened letting him know it was the girl sister that asked for the baby to be discharged....he told me the girl doesn't have a sister.

We move there yesterday night......on getting there the man said the baby need to be readmitted again but the hospital said they can't..After so much begging they accepted.
The issue now is nobody is allowing this guy have a say....anytime he try to talk they all shut him up.

He was blamed for what happened instead of the lady....which I had to speak up for him......the lady sister was the one who signed for the baby to discharged and instead of taking them to a private hospital this lady took them to her house.

So after studying everything I discover the girl family wants to sideline him because of the 900k ......they don't want him to know anything about how the money is spent........the guy is trying is best to pay for somethings he can infact him and girl are living in the hospital.

He is not educated and not smart....his mother refused to help out so he is all alone.

Please nl how do I help this guy gain access to how this money is spent and stop the girl family from treating him like a nobody.

Note: the surgery requires about 200k from what I learnt.

Don't get urself involved in their issue. The matter is really complicating, allow them to do whatever they want to do.

First mistake was him breeding the lady. None of my business.

Stenewiser:
which part of Nigeria are you from, that nigga can not claim that baby, if he wants to be wise let him perform all the marital rite for the girl, before calling that child his own. you are a man, imagine this was your daughter, and who told you that man is his father in-law.

Ur customary law is not superior to the constitution. He can and he will claim that baby under d constitution wether he is married to d girl or not. It takes two to make a baby.

Like you've stated that the girl's father has been the one paying the medical bills, what the young man that impregnate her should be concerned about is the health and safety of both mother and child and not on the money donated.

The Father of the girl who has been responsible for her should be in charge of the donated funds, the money isn't meant to enrich the them or the boy irrespective of how much is actually spent from it...

It would be absolute greed and lack of self respect and worth for the boy to even be concerned about how the donated fund is disbursed, as long as the baby and mother are receiving good care that should be enough for the boy!!!

Stenewiser:
which part of Nigeria are you from, that nigga can not claim that baby, if he wants to be wise let him perform all the marital rite for the girl, before calling that child his own. you are a man, imagine this was your daughter, and who told you that man is his father in-law.

U are still not getting the point here.

The point here is the girl family wanting to cut the father off totally.

If not for the surgery.....the girl was staying with him through the pregnancy until delivery...they were transferred to a federal hospital he staying there with the girl feeding her and paying for some of the medical bills.

Telling him to stand and watch while all decisions are made without recognising him is totally wrong.

By law of the country he is the father of the child...he has to be carried along.

The girl sister forceful discharge of the baby without his consent is wrong..

If he decides to work away now...they will tag him a dead beat father

Godoverevery:
Good morning peeps.

Please I will try as much as possible to make this narration short because I need advice on how to handle this issue.

I have a boy that works for me ......he is from calabar, one thing sha lead to another a lady got pregnant for him ......fast toward to October she had an early delivery so the baby is premature.

The baby was referred to a federal government hospital since October.....the girl father have being the one paying majority of the bills due to the guy financial situation before some group of ngos donated about 900k to the baby.

A lady came around on Friday claiming to be the girl sister and forcefully discharge the baby claiming the hospital is just collecting money without doing anything......she said the baby will be taking to a better private hospital......the baby needs a minor surgery but can't be operated yet due to being a premature.

Yesterday the girl father came around and discovered about the baby being discharge ....he started calling the boy threatening him.....I intervened letting him know it was the girl sister that asked for the baby to be discharged....he told me the girl doesn't have a sister.

We move there yesterday night......on getting there the man said the baby need to be readmitted again but the hospital said they can't..After so much begging they accepted.
The issue now is nobody is allowing this guy have a say....anytime he try to talk they all shut him up.

He was blamed for what happened instead of the lady....which I had to speak up for him......the lady sister was the one who signed for the baby to discharged and instead of taking them to a private hospital this lady took them to her house.

So after studying everything I discover the girl family wants to sideline him because of the 900k ......they don't want him to know anything about how the money is spent........the guy is trying is best to pay for somethings he can infact him and girl are living in the hospital.

He is not educated and not smart....his mother refused to help out so he is all alone.

Please nl how do I help this guy gain access to how this money is spent and stop the girl family from treating him like a nobody.

Note: the surgery requires about 200k from what I learnt.

1) How long has he worked for you?
2) Do you trust him?

If your answer to question 2 is Yes then Fight for him like your own brother. But seek his mother’s consent first. ( e get reason)
He’a still the father of that child, so he has a say.
The family is just trying to sideline him because of the money.
He shouldn’t drag the money with them oh.
The child’s HEALTH should be his priority.
If you can’t do all the work. Get him a very good lawyer.

BlackyOne:
Like you've stated that the girl's father has been the one paying the medical bills, what the young man that impregnate her should be concerned about is the health and safety of both mother and child and not on the money donated.

The Father of the girl who has been responsible for her should be in charge of the donated funds, the money isn't meant to enrich the them or the boy irrespective of how much is actually spent from it...

It would be absolute greed and lack of self respect and worth for the boy to even be concerned about how the donated fund is disbursed, as long as the baby and mother are receiving good care that should be enough for the boy!!!

Why are you all focusing on the money ??

Am talking about him not being carry along and not recognise in the decision making.

Assuming when the girl sister discharge the baby against doctor advise something Terrible happens will be saying this??

If the boy doesn't have money, he doesn't have a say. Stop trying to save a drowning man or you'll drown yourself.

player007:


1) How long has he worked for you?
2) Do you trust him?

If your answer to question 2 is Yes then Fight for him like your own brother. But seek his mother’s consent first. ( e get reason)
He’a still the father of that child, so he has a say.
The family is just trying to sideline him because of the money.
He shouldn’t drag the money with them oh.
The child’s HEALTH should be his priority.
If you can’t do all the work. Get him a very good lawyer.

Why I want to fight for him is all the money this boy is making he is actually spending on the baby and the lady......not like he is acting irresponsible

If he had much I know he will do alot from the lil he is doing now.

The gilr family threaten they won't let him see the baby isn't cool for me....that why I want to step in.

HenryDion:
If the boy doesn't have money, he doesn't have a say. Stop trying to save a drowning man or you'll drown yourself.

So he should walk away abi

And the lady should kuku be a single mother.

Because I don't think anyman can stand being talk down on.