eminemkayc:


Madam, I've quietly read some of your write-ups. If you are genuine and not an online fraud, send me a message privately let me see how I can assist with a token.

God bless you sir, sincerely i am not a fraud. I even make and sell pap to help out

Mac12:
1. Your comment got me crying... My husband too is not having it funny financially, i worry and feel for him sometimes.

2. I guess this is our rough time, i don't have a choice but to do my part as a wife and mother even though it's telling on me. It's just a phase that will pass. For the sex, that's the least of my problems right now. If he's getting it outside, i don't know o.

3. It's Christmas, yet nothing dey for children because we are saving for rent and school fees. Bro, no be everybody wan begin reason their matter for people o. Sometimes i weep at night, crying to God for a change.

Regarding hubby's financial story, the matter na for another day

1. Not to sound heartless but I asked those questions of you, as an individual in that marriage of yours, and not of your husband.

2. You say you are doing your part as wife and I wonder if that part is as slave girl or what. You feel gor your husband, but don't you think you can better show this by being available to cuddle and maybe have sex with him after work?

You call it a phase and I am inquisitive at this point to know how long this particular phase has lasted and wonder how much damage it may have already done to your relationship that you may not even be aware of.

3. I hate to tell you this... God does not do magic... you need to help yourself too in order for Him to help you. He is not going to automagically stop you from acting as slave girl in your marriage. You have decide it is no longer your lot in marriage and life.

4. Please ask hubby to share the chores with you so you can make time for your marriage and relationship, thus instead of living like house slave in your marriage.

Verysmart101:

And when has sex in marriage become a prize for help rendered? Really!! That is the reason why some men get side cos of this rubbish behaviour.

The man is the one in this case forcing his wife's hand in this, as he explained to you.

If you are in a business with someone and you begin to fall back on your responsibilities, don't expect that partnership not to suffer to some extent.

eminemkayc:


Madam, I've quietly read some of your write-ups. If you are genuine and not an online fraud, send me a message privately let me see how I can assist with a token.

May God continue to shower His blessings upon you Sir. May heaven rain its blessings upon you this day and always o. Chai, you will never lack anything good���
Sir I sent you a mail sir...

Or11:
The question is for married women. What is/are the reasons that you would avoid or refuse sex with your husband?

My wife's own is when I get lazy at home and I don't help in the house chores e.g cleaning, cooking, bathing the kids etc. She won't fight with me or argue but when I touch her like this, she will find a meaningful excuse. She's tired, not in the mood, headache, tomorrow, I need to shower first and I'm too lazy now etc. I found out myself that it was when I helped at home that there were no excuses, it's always a happy ending.

You know it’s not just women that deny their husbands sex, some men also deny their wives as well.

I think people are born with different sex drives, and it varies at different points in their lives. This your wife you think is denying you sex will sometimes always beg you for sex.

Personally I think people should be free to sleep with other people if their partners are not meeting their sexual needs. I believe in open marriages.

That being said, I think men focus too much on sex. And yet they don’t want to make the second exciting and spice things up. Why won’t she get tired of the same old boring sex? For men all you need is the climax, but women need passion and sexual satisfaction too.

Make it interesting and she will beg you for it.

PS: if my husband left me to do all the house chores he will be lucky if I even sleep beside him at all.

Kriss216:
I can't imagine myself begging my wife for sex.

If I touch you and give silly excuse, I'm out of bed immediately. That's where 4:20 comes handy.

What's 4:20?

Mac12:


May God continue to shower His blessings upon you Sir. May heaven rain its blessings upon you this day and always o. Chai, you will never lack anything good���
Sir I sent you a mail sir...

What part of Lagos do you reside in? As I may personally choose to drive down to provide this assistance in order to remain anonymous.

Kobojunkie:
1. Not to sound heartless but I asked those questions of you, as an individual in that marriage of yours, and not of your husband.

2. You say you are doing your part as wife and I wonder if that part is as slave girl or what. You feel gor your husband, but don't you think you can better show this by being available to cuddle and maybe have sex with him after work?

You call it a phase and I am inquisitive at this point to know how long this particular phase has lasted and wonder how much damage it may have already done to your relationship that you may not even be aware of.

3. I hate to tell you this... God does not do magic... you need to help yourself too in order for Him to help you. He is not going to automagically stop you from acting as slave girl in your marriage. You have decide it is no longer your lot in marriage and life.

4. Please ask hubby to share the chores with you so yu can make time for you marriage and relationship, thus instead of living like house slave in your marriage.

Sincerely, i am not angry at your comment. I am not a slave even though I live like one. I've talked about this several times that i am being seen as a nag, so i stopped talking. I do my part, the day he decides to help, fine and if he doesn't, still fine. Not like I am trying to defend him o but I've come to understand that everybody is not the same. He's the type of man that will spoil you silly when the money is there but coming down to chores is a NO for him.

He doesn't ask me to contribute to the financial running of the house because he feels that's his job except when i feel like helping out. Same goes to the house chores. He believes everybody should do their part peacefully. Though he's looking for a help for me. I just had to speak out because of the question that was thrown to the house. Some women don t just say they are tired, they actually are and I gave my reasons.

Meanwhile, i really appreciate your concern for me. (Smiling)

gbagagbogo:
Denying your responsible husband sex is a gateway to infidelity and consequently crashing your home. If you deny your husband sex, he might start losing love for you gradually , and if that happens, baba no-go send you again ooo.

Sex is a right in marriage . No one should deny each other

To enjoy those rights you cling to, you ought to keep to the terms of the agreement you made with your spouse.

Remember, these rights you claim in marriage are not birth rights of yours but instead contract agreements that are available to you so long as you honor your agreement.

When you start to make your spouse feel more like a house help than as a wife in your union, expect your rights to suffer, so also your marriage. This is commonsense.

Mac12:
1. Sincerely, i am not angry at your comment. I am not a slave even though I live like one. I've talked about this several times that i am being seen as a nag, so i stopped talking. I do my part, the day he decides to help, fine and if he doesn't, still fine. Not like I am trying to defend him o but I've come to understand that everybody is not the same. He's the type of man that will spoil you silly when the money is there but coming down to chores is a NO for him.

2. He doesn't ask me to contribute to the financial running of the house because he feels that's his job except when i feel like helping out. Same goes to the house chores. He believes everybody should do their part peacefully. Though he's looking for a help for me. I just had to speak out because of the question that was thrown to the house. Some women don t just say they are tired, they actually are and I gave my reasons.

Meanwhile, i really appreciate your concern for me. (Smiling)

1. I see!

2. I see ! I hope he gets you a help soonest to ease your burden and maybe salvage the health of your marriage at the same time..

May I ask long you have been married?

Kobojunkie:
1. I see!

2. I see ! I hope he gets you a help soonest to ease your burden and maybe salvage the health of your marriage at the same time..

May I ask long you have been married?

4years plus

Mac12:
4years plus

4 years and you are already having waist and back pains?

I really hope you beg get the help you need asap, because this kind of strain on body no dey just vanish overnight.

eminemkayc:


What part of Lagos do you reside in? As I may personally choose to drive down to provide this assistance in order to remain anonymous.

Sure i dont mind. I stay at Ajah, Lagos(around Abraham Adesanya)

Kobojunkie:
4 years and you are already having waist and back pains?

I really hope you beg get the help you need asap, because this kind of strain on body no dey just vanish overnight.

Yes o. Funny but he massages me sometimes to ease the pain. He will not help out but he will massage, lol. Its well jare. Everybody get their own wahala.

I know some instances my friends asked me to leave the marriage because they have it easy on their side. But marriage get stages nah... At least he doesn't beat nor talk down on me.

Mac12:
1. Yes o. Funny but he massages me sometimes to ease the pain. He will not help out but he will massage, lol. Its well jare. Everybody get their own wahala.

2. I know some instances my friends asked me to leave the marriage because they have it easy on their side. But marriage get stages nah... At least he doesn't beat nor talk down on me.

1. My guess you are still young too. Back pain na serious medical issue. More years of that strain and even the massages gi dey add to the pain.

2. I wouldn't go as far as to say you should call it quits. What I would suggest is you renegotiate your contract/agreement as a couple. Since you already said a house help is already in the works, that will work too.

Your friends likely have it easier because they negotiated their marriage agreement better from the start. It is essential to plan and know what you are getting from even before you enter the door that is marriage.

Kobojunkie:
1. My guess you are still young too. Back pain na serious medical issue. More years of that strain and even the massages gi dey add to the pain.

2. I wouldn't go as far as to say you should call it quits. What I would suggest is you renegotiate your contract/agreement as a couple. Since you already said a house help is already in the works, that will work too.

Yea I understand as I'm even lying on the floor right now to ease the pains. Hopefully before end of January, he'll get one. He gave me his word. I'm in my late 20s

There is how hubby will do and as a weaker vessel nothing you can do in return than to lock your store for him to return to normal sense. Infact that little store get power to reset any man to be sensitive to his wife.�

Mac12:
Yea I understand as I'm even lying on the floor right now to ease the pains. Hopefully before end of January, he'll get one. He gave me his word. I'm in my late 20s

OMG!
Stand your ground woman!

Klass99:


The assumption that money is the reason many women lock up, is a sweeping generalisation and erroneous.

You just said money is not the case in your situation, so what is the problem? If you followed the thread I mentioned, you would know money wasn't the issue with most men who shared their stories.

Bad hygiene, an unattractive look and selfishness in bed, may top the list before money. A recurring theme on NL with men is always money, money this, money that. It is NOT ALWAYS about your money or the lack of it.

Are you a neat/clean person, are you good to look at? Will a woman look at you and think damn...... I would like to touch those biceps or run my hands all over his body? Are you well mannered or classless and ill mannered?

There was a front page thread where a guy talked about investing in one's self physically, spiritually, mentally and financially. He emphasised on the physical aspect, mentioning how he looked so much better and attractive to women, since he started working out. Guess what your own gender people did? They bashed him left, right and center, claiming all a man needs to do, is have money to get a woman

In my mind, I was like, when will some of these self proclaimed logical people learn? What that guy said was so on point, but money no dey gree them see road. All the men I see working out in my estate look good, are sexy and appealing to me. I even told one of them (one day) in sincere admiration of his physique/beauty, he seemed glad to hear it, said thank you and we went our separate ways.

You people think we don't like nice things and we are all about the money, abi? What is it sef? Are some women not hustling legitimately to make money too? We are moved by what we see too, we are either moved to;

1. Admiration/interesting private thoughts or....
2. Repulsion and disgust.

Sorry, this was longer than I intended, but consider it an education in female psychology.

At the bolded, first of all we are talking about marriage here not relationship.

You can't tell me she didn't notice all these before she submit herself to marriage or do you guys think those things would change after getting married? Hell NO. These are minor things you talk about during courtship not just be going to unnecessary date all the time.

It's better you take your time to know everything about your man, mentally, physically and spiritually, don't let anybody rush you into marriage.

Bad hygiene should even be your first observation during courtship but money will make you wave that and start complaining in marriage.

Kobojunkie:
OMG!
Stand your ground woman!

Yeap...�

Kellzzyy:
Its only a bastatd bloody useless stupid and foolish simp of a man that'll beg his wife fur sex.
Over my dead body.
I rather die.
Of course I no go die.. But that'll be the end of the marriage.
God forbid. Spits

Nice one bro...ma men...
By the Grace of God, I can proudly say I have mistresses across south west...Ibadan, osogbo,Ilorin, ado, akure...Lagos- across the 3 senatorial zones...abule egba, gbagada and addo road...

But why do men of nowadays behave in this manner? where is the pride accompanying being a Man?
How on earth will I beg for sex? How...in what circumstances... Can't even imagine...

I do not blame the OP, I'll rather put blame on her Mother...for raising a SIMP...how on earth, is unheard off. Any he still has the gut, effrontery to come on Nairaland...
African men are fast losing their dignity & pride...so sad

Chiquitq:
Back in the day, when I was married...

He used to see his girlfriends every night

He did not like pre-intimacy

He would treat you as if it is a favour

The room had no door and there was another young man in the house and our young children that might come in any time

He did not provide for the family...

Too many reasons to mention

I lost all interest

Do broke guys keep gf outside marriage?

Klass99:


The assumption that money is the reason many women lock up, is a sweeping generalisation and erroneous.

You just said money is not the case in your situation, so what is the problem? If you followed the thread I mentioned, you would know money wasn't the issue with most men who shared their stories.

Bad hygiene, an unattractive look and selfishness in bed, may top the list before money. A recurring theme on NL with men is always money, money this, money that. It is NOT ALWAYS about your money or the lack of it.

Are you a neat/clean person, are you good to look at? Will a woman look at you and think damn...... I would like to touch those biceps or run my hands all over his body? Are you well mannered or classless and ill mannered?

There was a front page thread where a guy talked about investing in one's self physically, spiritually, mentally and financially. He emphasised on the physical aspect, mentioning how he looked so much better and attractive to women, since he started working out. Guess what your own gender people did? They bashed him left, right and center, claiming all a man needs to do, is have money to get a woman

In my mind, I was like, when will some of these self proclaimed logical people learn? What that guy said was so on point, but money no dey gree them see road. All the men I see working out in my estate look good, are sexy and appealing to me. I even told one of them (one day) in sincere admiration of his physique/beauty, he seemed glad to hear it, said thank you and we went our separate ways.

You people think we don't like nice things and we are all about the money, abi? What is it sef? Are some women not hustling legitimately to make money too? We are moved by what we see too, we are either moved to;

1. Admiration/interesting private thoughts or....
2. Repulsion and disgust.

Sorry, this was longer than I intended, but consider it an education in female psychology.

You articulate your thoughts quite nicely. I'm impressed. Particularly with the bashing and shouting down of women in the forum, it's so immature and downright disgusting. Sometimes, it's hard for me to read some of the illogical attacks. We need to grow out of this. If you guy chase the women out of the forum, I'll leave NL for you.
These girls are our mothers and sisters pls treat them nicely

Kobojunkie:
Leave God out of your foolishness abeg!

God talk say He created some Eunuchs from birth, some were made Eunuchs in this life and some chose to become Eunuchs for the sake of His Kingdom... if you believe the childless are somehow cursed, then you know nothing of God but delusions you have likely been fed with about Him.

Oh, because God made some eunuchs out of some men, you can come out here and flippantly mock men for being replaceable tools? Really?

You are a woman. A woman was designed to have babies. I don't know you, but I'm sure you want to have babies someday. To have a baby, you need a man- this is very important. If you feel men are replaceable objects then you really don't value having children, seeing that you wouldn't want to have them with just any man. Therefore, if men are replaceable, you may either decided to sleep with any man at all and have babies who will not know their father or you can have intercourse with yourself (which you can't). Either way, you're not moving forward really.

Men are not replaceable tools.

You said I know nothing about God. That's ok. You don't know me, so I won't comment on that. However, I know God gave you something called common sense and quite frankly, I feel like you're not making the best use of it.

Votukpa:
1. Oh, because God made some eunuchs out of some men, you can come out here and flippantly mock men for being replaceable tools? Really?

2. You are a woman. A woman was designed to have babies. I don't know you, but I'm sure you want to have babies someday. To have a baby, you need a man- this is very important. If you feel men are replaceable objects then you really don't value having children, seeing that you wouldn't want to have them with just any man. Therefore, if men are replaceable, you may either decided to sleep with any man at all and have babies who will not know their father or you can have intercourse with yourself (which you can't). Either way, you're not moving forward really.
Men are not replaceable tools.

3. You said I know nothing about God. That's ok. You don't know me, so I won't comment on that. However, I know God gave you something called common sense and quite frankly, I feel like you're not making the best use of it.

1. Who is "mocking" men? And yes, even in marriage, man, woman... replaceable.

2. Again, the fact is not all women desire to have children, nor want them. Same with men. Not all men desire to have children not want them. And your ignorance of this simple fact has nothing to do with God since He, over 2000 years ago ,also informed you of this Truth..

3. I know enough about you to know you don't even know the God you claim to speak of and this because commonsense which He revealed to you over 2000 years ago, you don't even know of nor understand.

Neweramify:
Do broke guys keep gf outside marriage?

If broke guys can find gals to date them, why not?

Kobojunkie:
I think many of you go in to marriage thinking you become gods by it.

When you lived as a bachelor, did you not provide and at the same time take care of domestic chores? Why do you now pretend that marriage sets you above doing the same domestic chores, only this time, for your own home that you build with your wife?

I guess the problem is not entirely yours but also that of the self disrespecting woman who will allow you marry her as house help. Way too many women with very low sense of self out there.

You're really out to get me aren't you?

Please, try not to let your ideals and emotions cloud your understanding of how things actually work.

Men function (optimally) a certain way and so do women. I briefly described this in my post, if you cared to read the whole thing.

Many bachelors will confess to you that it's very hard to make a lot of money and concentrate on doing house chores regularly. Men are mostly 'out there'. Our first love is our work. We would rather 'go out' than remain at home, even if there is nothing wrong with doing our own house chores (in the absence of hired help) Please understand this. This is good, normal and self-respecting.

It is not likewise with most women.

You are different in the sense that you would opt not to go out there in favor of staying at home if you had the choice. A woman will always opt for the easy way out, the path of least resistance so to speak. If all is provided for her, her natural inclination is to take care of the home front and perform domestic duties like house chores. This is good, normal and self respecting.

If both parties, within the context of marriage, understand these basics and play their positions accordingly, only peace and happiness will ensue. The man will be optimized and provide optimally, seeing that he is in his natural habitat. Likewise the woman.

Somewhere along the line, someone lied to women and changed all the rules, as well as the natural habitat of both parties:

1. Women now think they should compete with men in the work place. Outside their own natural habitat.
2. Women now think a man should help them in their own natural habitat. Outside his own habitat.
3. The governmental system declared that women can survive in men's habitat and incentivized their migration.

Humans excel when they work in alignment with their natural configurations and within their natural habitat. A fish cannot climb a tree more than a monkey can dive and swim in the belly of the ocean.

This is why you and I are arguing today and right now.

Any wonders why marriages were happier and lasted longer than they do today?

Kobojunkie:
1. Who is "mocking" men? And yes, even in marriage, man, woman... replaceable.

2. Again, the fact is not all women desire to have children, nor want them. Same with men. Not all men desire to have children not want them. And your ignorance of this simple fact has nothing to do with God since He, over 2000 years ago ,also informed you of this Truth..

3. I know enough about you to know you don't even know the God you claim to speak of and this because commonsense which He revealed to you over 2000 years ago, you don't even know of nor understand.

This is really funny.

Seriously, I really want you to understand. People are NOT replaceable. The world was designed and ordered in a set way. Everyone is unique, with a unique purpose. If people were replaceable then you might as well just farm people like cattle, with the sole purpose of reproducing. No purpose, no hopes, no dreams. Think.

Yes, not all desire to have children but most people DO. It's how it was designed. It's called procreation. 98% of men and women want to have sex and make children. This is why we are over 7 billion on earth and not 100million only. If you are asexual and don't want to have children, that's ok, but something caused that. You were not born like that.

You keep emphasizing my ignorance of what happened 2000 years ago. If you speak of Jesus Christ and his birth and death, and how he didn't have children, then I will tell you that he came to this world for that purpose to achieve it and he did. It is a good thing to deny yourself for the Kingdom and there is no error in that. Having children is not the end-all be-all. Granted. However, not many people will go down the road of the Christ. In fact, most won't. If the Creator, had a problem with His own system of procreation, I'm very sure he is powerful enough to do something about it, without our input. After all, He himself created it all.

Votukpa:
1. This is really funny.Seriously, I really want you to understand. People are NOT replaceable. The world was designed and ordered in a set way. Everyone is unique, with a unique purpose. If people were replaceable then you might as well just farm people like cattle, with the sole purpose of reproducing. No purpose, no hopes, no dreams. Think.

2. Yes, not all desire to have children but most people DO. It's how it was designed. It's called procreation. 98% of men and women want to have sex and make children. This is why we are over 7 billion on earth and not 100million only. If you are asexual and don't want to have children, that's ok, but something caused that. You were not born like that.

3. You keep emphasizing my ignorance of what happened 2000 years ago. If you speak of Jesus Christ and his birth and death, and how he didn't have children, then I will tell you that he came to this world for that purpose to achieve it and he did. It is a good thing to deny yourself for the Kingdom and there is no error in that. Having children is not the end-all be-all. Granted. However, not many people will go down the road of the Christ. In fact, most won't. If the Creator, had a problem with His own system of procreation, I'm very sure he is powerful enough to do something about it, without our input. After all, He himself created it all.

1. There is no meaning to any of what you have said here. Try to stick to context next time, abeg!.

2. Wrong! Most people don't. Instead most, like you, and so many others out there, are brainwashed into believing they have to or that God mandates it. That is the core reason why even against what is commonsense, many continue to reproduce like rats - the case in Nigeria for instance.

3. System of procreation? Again, pay attention.... in Genesis 3 vs 16, God Himself cursed marriage, His own system of procreation. Then 2000 years ago, the same creator told you that your marriages are of this world and not of His Kingdom. - Luke 20 vs 34 - 36. Stop talking of what you don't know abeg!.

Jesus Christ did not come so you can embrace this system of creation.. instead He came to offer you Salvation from the curse God placed on mankind - Genesis 3 vs 16-22, so you can instead focus on submitting to and obeying His teachings and commandments which He gave you 2000 years ago.

He doesn't care about you procreating.... it makes no difference as far as His Law and commandments to you is concerned. His Law is to you as an individual- your progeny you cannot save or help in to Heaven.

Strongdickfresh:
I stop taking CK and AZ because my legally married wife always denied me of sex. I'm very faithful man and never wanted to cheat on my beloved wife. So, I have to stop taking CK and AZ, since then she gives me sex whenever I want it. In the bathroom, kitchen, lobby and bedroom, sitting etc. Please your legally married wife and you will forever be a happy man. I'm talking from my personal experience.

What's CK and AZ?

Or11:
The question is for married women. What is/are the reasons that you would avoid or refuse sex with your husband?

My wife's own is when I get lazy at home and I don't help in the house chores e.g cleaning, cooking, bathing the kids etc. She won't fight with me or argue but when I touch her like this, she will find a meaningful excuse. She's tired, not in the mood, headache, tomorrow, I need to shower first and I'm too lazy now etc. I found out myself that it was when I helped at home that there were no excuses, it's always a happy ending.

And you now do house chores like a house-boy whenever you need the cookie??
..
You have been successfully manipulated..
..
..
She gave me an excuse one time, and she got a four-months break.
Within the four months, she herself got tired of starving inside the second month, but I gave her lots of excuses.
She started thinking that I was seeing someone else.
She fall in love with my phone, trying so hard to know what was keeping me cool.
She started getting frustrated, and becoming toxic, yet I no send her.
I had to touch her one night (in the fourth month) and she responded sharperly.
And after we were both down and tired, I told her clearly that she was the reason we got starved, and that if she enjoyed the starving, then she should continue coming up with more excuses.
..
That was the end of her excuses.