₦airaland Forum

kernniejay:
Your questions should be directed to the Op himself. He believed the girl used him and I can not answer for him, ask him your questions directly.

Well, you were the one telling me that OP confirmed that she used him when in fact according to his story, he agreed to a friendship with her and all he did was show her what friendship with him meant. So wetin im dey here dey complain for?.

How is the girl wicked with your explanation?
You beta change the topic and write how I Mumu myself,
Imagine you doing all dix tinx bcox of pucci,
Rubbish *Spits*

Demigod22:
The whole thing happened 2020, then I was simping. I have resolve within me not to help her. I want to use the opportunity to let her know that she is not as brilliant as I thought. I have read about most girls and greed, I am now a real g. Thanks for your words of wisdom.

No you are not! You are just another burnt deluded trollop desperately looking for a way to obtain validation , this while avoiding the core problem.

ParpahSeventy:
Changing your entire life for a woman in an attempt to win her heart, it never ends well, women won't settle for people like that, she sees you as a useful tool, you know what tools do?
Disappoint the user in no man's land.
If I were you, I would make her feel like I was going to carry d whole project on my head, boom!!! I disappoint her at a critical time.
But since you are not me, I know you will still help her to the last like you always did.

Many of you are children walking around in the adult bodies.

So you disappoint her at a critical time, then what? All your sorrows will dissappear? The foolishness of your actions will be no more?

Kai!

Demigod22:
So I met Cynthia immediately we resumed from covid 19 break. We started as friends before the feelings set in. I made my intentions known to her. We usually called each other, but she stopped calling the moment I revealed my feelings to her. I was the only one doing the calls, the texting, we chatted everyday.

She said she doesn't like guys that take alcohol and I stopped. I started attending fellowship because of her, I was visiting hostel always because of her, I joined school politics because of her, I stopped keeping late night because of her. Everything she wanted I was doing, I bought her stuffs too.

The problem was that she wanted friendship and I wanted relationship. I was ready to accept her terms and conditions, like no sex, no visiting. I did all her assignments for her, I gave her tutorials,past questions, even mark her script with sentiment.

I realized how foolish I was trying to love someone that doesn't love me but was only interested in using me. I stopped calling and doing those things for her. One month after she started dating my coursemate. I was hurt but I moved on.

Today, after everything, this wicked girl sent me a message on WhatsApp, asking for my help regarding her project. She said she needs me to give her project topics and guide her. Then I am wondering how some people can be this wicked and heartless.

Although she denied dating my coursemate, she said she doesn't have the ability to love, that was her excuse of not accepting to date me and she said she is not dating my coursemate either, but what guts made her think that I will help her after the treatment I got from her for eight months?

Guy the year is just starting, your name should be called Simps2022....
Woh! make the guy with the rain boot come kick you out of here jare....

kernniejay:
Guy, I dont think the girl did anything wrong against you. Afterall, she did not deceive you with fake love. Na you dey stress yourself to win her heart instead of being yourself and allowing her to love you for who you are. If you are not somebody's type you dont have to live a fake life to please or impress them. If you must adjust your lifestyle it should be for your own benefit not because of anybody. Just because she asked you for a project topic does not mean she is regretting not dating you.
Help her if you wish to and move on with your life, some other girls might be dying to have you just for who you are

God bless you

Demigod22:
So I met Cynthia immediately we resumed from covid 19 break. We started as friends before the feelings set in. I made my intentions known to her. We usually called each other, but she stopped calling the moment I revealed my feelings to her. I was the only one doing the calls, the texting, we chatted everyday.

She said she doesn't like guys that take alcohol and I stopped. I started attending fellowship because of her, I was visiting hostel always because of her, I joined school politics because of her, I stopped keeping late night because of her. Everything she wanted I was doing, I bought her stuffs too.

The problem was that she wanted friendship and I wanted relationship. I was ready to accept her terms and conditions, like no sex, no visiting. I did all her assignments for her, I gave her tutorials,past questions, even mark her script with sentiment.

I realized how foolish I was trying to love someone that doesn't love me but was only interested in using me. I stopped calling and doing those things for her. One month after she started dating my coursemate. I was hurt but I moved on.

Today, after everything, this wicked girl sent me a message on WhatsApp, asking for my help regarding her project. She said she needs me to give her project topics and guide her. Then I am wondering how some people can be this wicked and heartless.

Although she denied dating my coursemate, she said she doesn't have the ability to love, that was her excuse of not accepting to date me and she said she is not dating my coursemate either, but what guts made her think that I will help her after the treatment I got from her for eight months?

She helped you become someone better and you are still complaining

If you can't Help her Swerve, God will send her helper to her.

Demigod22:
I am not saying she regretted dating me. I was just wondering how she,in her widest imagination, think that I will help her with her project after the experience.

Forget about me changing myself. So I wanted a relationship but she wants friendship, and she is parasitic because she is the only one benefitting from the friendship, at least,if she is not dating me, but as friends, we should have a mutual respect for each other, not trying to use the other person.

A friend that calls you everyday for eight months stopped calling and you never called to check up on her until four months later when you finally needs his help, you called. Does that define your understanding of friendship?

You are just emotional. Keep to the changes she brought into your life and utilise that to get someone better than Her.

As for her ghosting you and asking You for help later, she meant no harm to You that's woman for you as you never know what's going on in her immediate life.

9ja girls are out to add more burden to your life instead of softening it.

Oyin2212:
God bless you

and you too

Oyin2212:
God bless you

and you too

Kobojunkie:
Many of you are children walking around in the adult bodies.

So you disappoint her at a critical time, then what? All your sorrows will dissappear? The foolishness of your actions will be no more?

Kai!

Lol.
And you think being there for her makes you an adult?
If only I can be a child, It's an opportunity I will take with both hands, but if only you know what it takes to grow up, you won't be in a hurry to grow up.
You can't eat your cake and have it, you know why??
Equity hates double portion, sometimes we preach karma, sometimes what karma does is give us the opportunity to pay back.
Adulthood will teach every soul that too much righteousness will destroy you, what will the OP gain by helping her out?
Can you highlight them for me?
Will take away his sorrows and pains/disappointments?

Demigod22:
The whole thing happened 2020, then I was simping. I have resolve within me not to help her. I want to use the opportunity to let her know that she is not as brilliant as I thought. I have read about most girls and greed, I am now a real g. Thanks for your words of wisdom.

For me it's not about being a simp or not, certain standards should be laid out and maintained, I had a lady like that in my department, she likes using guys to her taste alot when she came around to use me, she came to realize you don't use everybody in life, the results are never pleasant, there are good girls out there, you can easily fish them if you have a character to kick out the bad ones, life is hard, nothing comes on a platter of gold, make certain mistakes right in your life, do good to those who deserve it, nothing is really free in life.

ParpahSeventy:
1. Lol. And you think being there for her makes you an adult?
If only I can be a child, It's an opportunity I will take with both hands, but if only you know what it takes to grow up, you won't be in a hurry to grow up.

2. You can't eat your cake and have it, you know why??
Equity hates double portion, sometimes we preach karma, sometimes what karma does is give us the opportunity to pay back.
3. Adulthood will teach every soul that too much righteousness will destroy you, what will the OP gain by helping her out? Can you highlight them for me? Will take away his sorrows and pains/disappointments?

1. No, I don't! But being mean to her because she didn't like you back back immature.

2. What cake? Someone asked for friendship and you agreed to it only with ulterior motives which later backfired. And you think this has anything to do with eating ones cake and having it?

3. Please, visit and embrace wisdom so you don't end up a total waste of space and resources in your old age.

Kobojunkie:
1. No, I don't! But being mean to her because she didn't like you back back immature.

2. What cake? Someone asked for friendship and you agreed to it only with ulterior motives which later backfired. And you think this has anything to do with eating ones cake and having it?

3. Please, visit and embrace wisdom so you don't end up a total waste of space and resources in your old age.

1. In all my life, people who use the word "immature" are people who are struggling so hard to be mature, that's a fact. I don't know your age but you don't sound like someone who is mature.
2. There are certain limits to friendship, there are 1100 ladies out there whom the moment they are noticing that you are doing things to win their hearts will constantly remind you that what they only want is friendship and make it clear to you that they won't date.
The girl took advantage of him, and that's what most of them do, "after all I didn't ask him to do it".
In this world nobody is innocent, I always thought that way, the moment you soar into the wider world and go deeper into the ocean and feel the harshness of the tides and the fold breeze of the wild ocean you will understand this.
3. Typing this here, if we are to sit around a table am sure you will never be opportune to sit on same table with me, in a nut shell, the lives I have touched and affected positively, if they combine your generations past and present, they will never be near it, This is a solid fact.
So In this life I can never be useless, not even my corpse.
Moreover you didn't tell me what he will gain by helping the lady yet, I asked you for that and you never replied or you don't have anything to say?

Kobojunkie:
So because she chose to continue instead as a friend means she wicked? I no blame you ..... I blame your upbringing instead..

I don't have problem with her being my friend, the only problem is she exploiting the friendship. If you really understand my write up, you will see where I said I stopped calling her and she never care to call me, until four months later when she needed help, is that not wickedness? Is that your own way of friendship?

HopeNeverDies:
Damnnnn!!!!! Brrrh... Find a way for her to fail that course.

That's how life rolls.

Hahaha, I can't stop laughing at this. Anyways, thanks for your opinion.

Kobojunkie:
What he did for her was as a friend to her. Why put a stake in it as if friends don't go that far for each other?

Since friends go that far for each other, a friend that calls you for eight months stopped calling you and you never one day call him to know how he is doing, then after four months you called him simply because you need his help academically. Is that your own understanding of friendship? So as friends, the lady should not call, or do anything, she should always ask for help. The philosophy of life is all about give and take, it should be reciprocal not one sided. That friendship is very toxic and unhealthy.

[quote author=Ficient post=109061807]She didn't date you, but she imparted your life and added value. Don't be bitter, enjoy the friendship. You have really benefited from it. Stop the unnecessary spending to impress a lady, that's another lesson she has thought you, and you cannot force love. [/quote

I have realized my mistakes, I am back to my old self. I have moved on and I have left her in my past and I am not bitter. That's why I stopped helping her too because I won't impress her again.

Kobojunkie:
You are not making sense of any kind.

OP tabled his request for a sexual relationship, but the lady denied the request. She then suggested friendship to him instead, a request he accepted, this by choosing to invest his time and energy on the friendship. Op no talk say he denied her request but he was clear that she denied his.

She is the only one benefitting from the relationship or the OP conveniently left out the part about what he gained from the friendship in that time so he can sound like he has basically carried the entire weight of the friendship all by himself?

She already rejected OP so her dating history is not OP'S business, unless she asks OP to make it his.

Also, how could she use him when they were both of them in the friendship relationship together. How in the world does that make her a parasite. Did she hold a gun to OP'S head or something? ... Is the OP an imbe-cile?

Sir, I don't know what you consider as friendship, but from what I wrote I said I offered her the friendship and she is exploiting the friendship, she doesn't call, I did all the calls, I provided past questions, I did all the assignments for her, I was giving her tutorials. I was the only one doing the favour, she didn't offer anything to me. At least, someone that calls you for eight months stopped calling and as friends you never one day called until four months later when you need his help.

I didn't omit what she did for me as you erroneously claimed, she didn't do anything for me. She was the only one benefitting. After four months of not hearing from me, she called only to ask for my help, can you at least understand my situation before arguing with my write up?

ParpahSeventy:
Lol.
And you think being there for her makes you an adult?
If only I can be a child, It's an opportunity I will take with both hands, but if only you know what it takes to grow up, you won't be in a hurry to grow up.
You can't eat your cake and have it, you know why??
Equity hates double portion, sometimes we preach karma, sometimes what karma does is give us the opportunity to pay back.
Adulthood will teach every soul that too much righteousness will destroy you, what will the OP gain by helping her out?
Can you highlight them for me?
Will take away his sorrows and pains/disappointments?

You are my kind of person. You know what you are saying and ready to defend it. Those that are saying I should help don't even understand my story. She wanted friendship and I offered her the friendship, the question is that,does she behave like a friend towards me?

Kobojunkie:
1. No, I don't! But being mean to her because she didn't like you back back immature.

2. What cake? Someone asked for friendship and you agreed to it only with ulterior motives which later backfired. And you think this has anything to do with eating ones cake and having it?

3. Please, visit and embrace wisdom so you don't end up a total waste of space and resources in your old age.

I did not agreed to the friendship with ulterior motives, I genuinely agreed to the friendship, the logic you failed to understand from my story is the fact that she is not behaving like a friend towards. You have friends, are they not calling you, are they not helping you as you are helping them? I called her everyday as a friend for eight months and I stopped calling. She did not call me to know how I am doing for four months, but called yesterday because she needs my help, is that your own understanding of friendship?

ParpahSeventy:
1. In all my life, people who use the word "immature" are people who are struggling so hard to be mature, that's a fact. I don't know your age but you don't sound like someone who is mature.

2. There are certain limits to friendship, there are 1100 ladies out there whom the moment they are noticing that you are doing things to win their hearts will constantly remind you that what they only want is friendship and make it clear to you that they won't date.
The girl took advantage of him, and that's what most of them do, "after all I didn't ask him to do it".
In this world nobody is innocent, I always thought that way, the moment you soar into the wider world and go deeper into the ocean and feel the harshness of the tides and the fold breeze of the wild ocean you will understand this.

3. Typing this here, if we are to sit around a table am sure you will never be opportune to sit on same table with me, in a nut shell, the lives I have touched and affected positively, if they combine your generations past and present, they will never be near it, This is a solid fact.
So In this life I can never be useless, not even my corpse.
Moreover you didn't tell me what he will gain by helping the lady yet, I asked you for that and you never replied or you don't have anything to say?

1. Yeah, the word was created to mean it's opposite, abi?

2. A friend is a pal that you are to respect as a pal. If your wish is to win her heart instead than it is on you to make your intention know and in turn respect her decision. Burdening your friend with having to constantly notice whether you are trying to win her heart or not is not what a friend would do to another friend. That is what a conman would do.

3. Keep telling yourself that!

Demigod22:
I don't have problem with her being my friend, the only problem is she exploiting the friendship. If you really understand my write up, you will see where I said I stopped calling her and she never care to call me, until four months later when she needed help, is that not wickedness? Is that your own way of friendship?

From your very own story.... she didn't exploit you. Instead, you wanted more than friendship where friendship was all she wanted from you. So, I am not sure why you keep crying foul.

You called her for months and she didn't call you back when you stopped until 4 months later. There is nothing wicked about that and this since what you has between you two was a friendship relationship.

Demigod22:
1. Sir, I don't know what you consider as friendship, but from what I wrote I said I offered her the friendship and she is exploiting the friendship, she doesn't call, I did all the calls, I provided past questions, I did all the assignments for her, I was giving her tutorials. I was the only one doing the favour, she didn't offer anything to me. At least, someone that calls you for eight months stopped calling and as friends you never one day called until four months later when you need his help.

2. I didn't omit what she did for me as you erroneously claimed, she didn't do anything for me. She was the only one benefitting. After four months of not hearing from me, she called only to ask for my help, can you at least understand my situation before arguing with my write up?

1. You offered her favors without her asking, abi? And when she did ask, you obliged her, right? Would you have rather she offered to do your assignments, given you tutorials, done your work for her? You could have asked and if she had refused, tempered your expectations in the friendship based on that. But you didn't hint as to whether you even asked her any favors so there isn't much to be said there.

Friendship no be dating relationship. I have friends I call only during holidays. Others I call once in a blue moon or after some years. Friendships are different.

2. I understand that she was a friend and you were the generous partner in the friendship. That doesn't make her wicked simply that you were both on different wavelengths as far as the friendship.

Demigod22:
I did not agreed to the friendship with ulterior motives, I genuinely agreed to the friendship, the logic you failed to understand from my story is the fact that she is not behaving like a friend towards. You have friends, are they not calling you, are they not helping you as you are helping them? I called her everyday as a friend for eight months and I stopped calling. She did not call me to know how I am doing for four months, but called yesterday because she needs my help, is that your own understanding of friendship?

Again, friendship relationship no be dating relationship. You cannot judge a friendship by using standard that apply instead to a dating relationship.

Demigod22:
You are my kind of person. You know what you are saying and ready to defend it. Those that are saying I should help don't even understand my story. She wanted friendship and I offered her the friendship, the question is that,does she behave like a friend towards me?

There are alot of low lives with mobile devices on social media and some of them are here, if you meet some of d people you exchange comments with here, they are no where near your league, so these people can't change Ideas that I have been living with for ages which have brought this far.
Evil attitudes must be punished, that's an ever living principle.

Kobojunkie:
1. Yeah, the word was created to mean it's opposite, abi?

2. A friend is a pal that you are to respect as a pal. If your wish is to win her heart instead than it is on you to make your intention know and in turn respect her decision. Burdening your friend with having to constantly notice whether you are trying to win her heart or not is not what a friend would do to another friend. That is what a conman would do.

3. Keep telling yourself that!

If I haven't told you, you should know am done with you already, I told op what I feel like, the choice is his to make, I don't talk with everybody.

ParpahSeventy:
If I haven't told you, you should know am done with you already, I told op what I feel like, the choice is his to make, I don't talk with everybody.

sure!

Kobojunkie:
1. Yeah, the word was created to mean it's opposite, abi?

2. A friend is a pal that you are to respect as a pal. If your wish is to win her heart instead than it is on you to make your intention know and in turn respect her decision. Burdening your friend with having to constantly notice whether you are trying to win her heart or not is not what a friend would do to another friend. That is what a conman would do.

3. Keep telling yourself that!

So burdening your friend by always taking, seeking for help, or always reaching out to a friend only when you need his help,is what a friend should do to another friend?

Demigod22:
So burdening your friend by always taking, seeking for help, or always reaching out to a friend only when you need his help,is what a friend should do to another friend?

The thing about friendship is nothing of it is set in stone. If you want to do more for the other, you can, if you don't want to, you don't need to.

Some friends will go to the grave for others, others will throw you under the bus the first chance they get. Some friends will bail you out of jail, others will sit and wait for you to bail yourself out or even move on until you get your act together.

Kobojunkie:
The thing about friendship is nothing of it is set in stone. If you want to do more for the other, you can, if you don't want to, you don't need to.

Some friends will go to the grave for others, others will throw you under the bus the first chance they get. Some friends will bail you out of jail, others will sit and wait for you to bail yourself out or even move on until you get your act together.

Your reasoning is faulty if you think such relationship is healthy. I am not surprised the other guy ran into argument with you. After Buhari, people like you are the problems of Nigeria.

Beblessedbaba:
Interesting

Ghost her

I think you’re right