₦airaland Forum

jonandez:
How can your husband just lose interest in u all of a sudden..
From ur story he seems to be the peace loving type..
Something is not quite clear...
But wat do I know

Did you just move to Nigeria from an European country or what? Do you know what Kayamata is?
Have you not heard of married men abandoning their wives and kids to follow these harlots that use Kayamata? Only for them to come back months or years later like headless chickens

You have been left behind oo.

mercy87:
What a nigerian man means by peace is a woman that will take his evils, misbehaviour, rubbish and nonsense calmly without a word. Once you ask questions, or demand for accountability then you dont give him peace.

postmann:
Show me a woman who puts a good portion of her energy engaging in male banter online, I'll show you one with a truck load of relationship sour tales and a heart blown in bits. That woman is you, frustrated Ogress!

..

Athemisia:
Honesty, I hate seeing ladies look down on themselves and think they're nothing without their husbands.
Some are saying mend your marriage bla bla bla bla...
See, you are the only one who truly knows the pain you feel. Stopping letting a man treat you like trash. It's obvious he has lost his respect for you so stop trying to force him to do so.

Be like Rihanna my dear. You've started a gym class? Nice one!
Get back in shape, dress seductive, go out and let other men know you are searching.
Right now, you need a man by your side, who you can speak with, hold hands, and fuúck silly. But only you can get that man of your dreams.

If you do this, the more happier you become and sooner than later you start loosing attraction towards that man you call husband.
Simply because you choose to respect yourself more.
Go baby girl, go have fun.

easy on paper. Women and fantasies

Amazingbaby:
I called my husband and actually blasted him calling him a very big liar and how embarrassed I am.on Monday I left for the hospital he called and we discussed some business and the kids(I was actually not angry again knowing that he is no different from any other guy,if you see how he use to condemn cheating ehh....) Only for my mum to call me around 12 in the afternoon to ask me questions,my husband actually called my mum after I confronted him about what the girl said to tell her he is DONE with me,that I don't give him peace in the house that this and that.in summary calling the girl actually triggered divorce because I am ready for anything.

For those that are doubting that I am a woman,abeg I am.

I followed some lovely people advice and I have actually achieved alot of things this week

1i paid for driving lessons (he literally have to drive me everywhere or I take Uber)
2 I have dusted out my certificate and is seriously looking for jobs(I have contacted alot of outsourcing firms)
3 signed up for gym classes.

In a way I lost myself trying to be a good wife and mother that I literally drove away alot of my friends.i had to stop talking with a good olfriend of mine because my husband was chatting with her behind my back for long (this is one of the reasons I don't trust him)

Lots of information...

So what and what should I do to upgrade myself I have not work for a long time.

Cococandy
Double0h7
Mariangle
Saintmary

First and foremost, you are making it look like he can come back whenever he pleases after sleeping around.
Stand your ground and focus on yourself and child.
The constant phone calls is a distraction to you and that’s manipulation on his own side, men do this a lot.
Don’t call him again and just move on.
Get a job and take care of your child.

Amazingbaby:
I called my husband and actually blasted him calling him a very big liar and how embarrassed I am.on Monday I left for the hospital he called and we discussed some business and the kids(I was actually not angry again knowing that he is no different from any other guy,if you see how he use to condemn cheating ehh....) Only for my mum to call me around 12 in the afternoon to ask me questions,my husband actually called my mum after I confronted him about what the girl said to tell her he is DONE with me,that I don't give him peace in the house that this and that.in summary calling the girl actually triggered divorce because I am ready for anything.

For those that are doubting that I am a woman,abeg I am.

I followed some lovely people advice and I have actually achieved alot of things this week

1i paid for driving lessons (he literally have to drive me everywhere or I take Uber)
2 I have dusted out my certificate and is seriously looking for jobs(I have contacted alot of outsourcing firms)
3 signed up for gym classes.

In a way I lost myself trying to be a good wife and mother that I literally drove away alot of my friends.i had to stop talking with a good olfriend of mine because my husband was chatting with her behind my back for long (this is one of the reasons I don't trust him)

Lots of information...

So what and what should I do to upgrade myself I have not work for a long time.

Cococandy
Double0h7
Mariangle
Saintmary

most of your online adviser are single mothers..

postmann:
You're throwing words together in a flustering attempt at playing catch up only to end up sounding like a night school graded student who studied English as her 6th language.

I wonder how many men you've tried to impress with this your forced show of intellectual hollowness.

I'll tell you what; good girls your age are tucked either in-between their sheets gazing into the calm assuring eyes of their men while stroking their hairy chests or are reading their kids some lullabies already.

But here you are, with a beaten down and gaping vulva bearing the burden of wasted life, projecting your misfortunes on nairaland males as if that would do the trick of the vagina rejuvenation you desperately need.

comrade, calm down

Saintmary:
So, where do we start from?


1. Don't be afraid.

2. Take your time to decide for yourself what you want, and what kind of man you want in your life.

In the meantime:

Don't call the girl again. Don't ask your husband about her. But please don't have sex with him. Don't demean your body.

It's not easy but that's the best way to help you and him to figure out what you want for yourselves.


A man who triangulates you with another woman is disrespectful, immature, narcissistic.

He will tell you her qualities while showing you how inadequate you are. He has seen you finish. See finish.



If you're tired of doing nanny work, take the kids to Grandma's, preferably your Mom.

REINVENT YOURSELF


Anticipate and be proactive.
Where do you want to be living?
Which career do you want to take up?

Take things one step at a time.


He will still try this nonsense with you again.


Whatever you do, don't stop your career efforts, because for him to gather the liver to threaten your MOTHER with divorce shows he doesn't mind living without you. And he has ZERO RESPECT for your Mom.



What are we even talking about here?

Face front and build some dignity for yourself!



If he wants you back, you have to check if he's truly repentant (repentance will take a while). And never let him do that to your mother ever.

you sha finally want to send the husband away for her patapata.

Amazingbaby:
I called my husband and actually blasted him calling him a very big liar and how embarrassed I am.on Monday I left for the hospital he called and we discussed some business and the kids(I was actually not angry again knowing that he is no different from any other guy,if you see how he use to condemn cheating ehh....) Only for my mum to call me around 12 in the afternoon to ask me questions,my husband actually called my mum after I confronted him about what the girl said to tell her he is DONE with me,that I don't give him peace in the house that this and that.in summary calling the girl actually triggered divorce because I am ready for anything.

For those that are doubting that I am a woman,abeg I am.

I followed some lovely people advice and I have actually achieved alot of things this week

1i paid for driving lessons (he literally have to drive me everywhere or I take Uber)
2 I have dusted out my certificate and is seriously looking for jobs(I have contacted alot of outsourcing firms)
3 signed up for gym classes.

In a way I lost myself trying to be a good wife and mother that I literally drove away alot of my friends.i had to stop talking with a good olfriend of mine because my husband was chatting with her behind my back for long (this is one of the reasons I don't trust him)

Lots of information...

So what and what should I do to upgrade myself I have not work for a long time.

Cococandy
Double0h7
Mariangle
Saintmary

you said a girl wants to end your marriage and here you are trying to dig every bit of a move of your husband by insisting on him giving you an explanation of what he did when he went out...I hope you're seeing where your marriage is heading and both of you have yourselves to be blame at the end of the day. I'll advice you don't make it easy for the girl to scatter your home...

HIbreed:
I hope you're ready to send her urgent 2k to feed the kids when the situation begs for it.

If you are planning of getting married, prepare to raise your kids as a single father or mother due to unforseen circumstances-death, divorce or separation. I don't believe in fantasy.

Op I would advise you just ignore him, don't even ask him any explanations, don't say anything about the divorce threat, just ignore his tactics, he knows you have gotten him in a corner and he's trying to use divorce to blackmail you. we all know there's a 95percent chance he's sleeping with the church minister and he knows you know, he might still come back to his senses with time,, he will definitely get served, as for the church minister that is trying to work for free for a married man, she too will collect.

Just put all of them on ignore mode and continue your self development, if he likes he comes back home if he likes he doesn't and you should never have called that girl, you don't dignify such people.

Work for free indeed.

Enemyofpeace:
It serves you right, shebi I told you to start having extra marital affair with me, you dey do yanga, you were forming for me

Your name is literally enemy of peace.....hahahahaha.god forbid

BRATISLAVA:
Who is the emotional fool here, if not you who is projecting all your bitterness and failures with women by trying to rubbish and abuse the OP with your unproven allegations about her? Is that how far your bitterness has carried you, to throwing words at random women? Are you the husband?

Why is this forum filled with stupid little boys like this one?

Once they learn the word emotional in their miseducation, they misuse it when they don't want to/plainly cannot reason in matters that involve women.

Ewww.

I tried so hard not to mention you but I kept seeing your FOOLISH posts. You're a big, big idiot. You really are!

The person you quoted kept trying to make his points without insults, you on the other hand was filled with rage as if you're the OP. Even the OP quoted him and she was polite.

I swear you be BIG WAWA

Amazingbaby:
There was no place I said he was the demon.
It is my narrative so it has to be narrated through my words,oga how would I know what he is feeling,I only know of his actions.
Did I not wrote that he said I hardly give him Peace? That is his words,so what do you want me to say.oh chim!

I am anything but a saint and if demanding answers from my "husband"means I nag and choke then so be it.

my dear I'm going through same, I was busy helping him to achieve his goals and forgot about myself

Amazingbaby:
Pls can I message you about the WhatsApp group?

Yes pls.

Think9ja:
I tried so hard not to mention you but I kept seeing your FOOLISH posts. You're a big, big idiot. You really are!

The person you quoted kept trying to make his points without insults, you on the other hand was filled with rage as if you're the OP. Even the OP quoted him and she was polite.

I swear you be BIG WAWA

And how are you different from her with bold?

Think9ja:
I tried so hard not to mention you but I kept seeing your FOOLISH posts. You're a big, big idiot. You really are!

The person you quoted kept trying to make his points without insults, you on the other hand was filled with rage as if you're the OP. Even the OP quoted him and she was polite.

I swear you be BIG WAWA

You are hurt because you think like he does.

Now, carry this foolish post of yours and air it where the sun doesn't shine. Your type are a billion a dime— idiots without trying.

MsFaith:
And how are you different from her with bold?

Lol

Amazingbaby I have read both threads and sincerely hope you would listen to what I have to say.

1) it would shock you, but I don't think your husband is cheating on you with that girl you are suspecting, though he might be cheating with other girls but not that one.

2) your husband admires that girl, I think he find her easy to talk to and he connects with her. That's why he was always talking about his business to her at his friends place. You don't communicate well with your husband

3) you deserve an explanation from your husband, but not probably the way you ask right now, men are the easiest people to get if you know their password

4) I think you are paranoid and that is because u don't have much on your hands, once u get a job and something you are passionate with, you won't have much time for unfounded allegations.

5) not giving peace in the home is a thing, a husband should not feel bad whenever he is going home to his family, his house should feel like a home not a battlefield, it's not everything you fight about.. and before you demand transparency,ensure that you yourself is transparent.

6) your husband probably doesn't feel loved or respected in his home,it your duty as a wife to do that no matter what anyone says,why marry someone you cannot love or respect? I think he leaving home for you is for u to come to your senses and beg him...

7) you should apologize for your behaviour, promise to change, listen to him and care for him and see if he would still behave the way he is.. please don't give up on your marriage, I really don't think that girl is cheating with your husband,for her to mention she is a minister and answer your questions well she is not a demon,if u meet ladies ready to snatch your husband you sef go fear.

your husband would change once he sees genuine change and trust, it's obvious u don't trust him and it's understandable considering what he did with your friend,but u have to make your marriage work..no fun in divorce....

Thanks..

The way this OP's threads dey always incite vayolence ehnnn.

socialmediaman:
Madam @ Amazingbaby them don snatch your husband.

Your husband is one of those men who are unhappy with their marriages to the point that they're emotionally checked out of the marriage. Then one day, they meet this lady who lends them a listening ear, motivates them and provides emotional support for them, but tells them "you're still married, I can't sleep with you until you take care of your situation". Perfect motivation to end his marriage.

You both seem to have irreconcilable differences, or maybe some ego problem in your marriage, and nobody wants to take the lead in reconciling those differences. If you still want him, then set your ego aside and tell him, and suggest therapy to him as a last reasonable effort to try to save your marriage, although it may be a little too late. Many Nigerian men will decline therapy because traditionally they want their wives to be the ones to adapt and make changes in the marriage, but if they don't want to lose her, they'll do anything to keep her. In any case, he owes you at least an explanation of what went wrong in your marriage, if you don't already know.

What you're doing presently, that is, trying to get a job and improve yourself, is the best you can do for yourself and your children. Join support groups online and offline, do as much research as possible, there are videos on YouTube and TikTok that will teach you almost anything you want to learn. Keep it up. Hopefully things work out eventually.

You were just rambling and rambling as if you didn't read her previous posts that made it clear that her husband was not ready to discuss with or explain anything to her. Her husband will never listen to her until he's through with the biitch he's following. I just don't understand why you're blaming her for her husband's irresponsibility!

You people should be calming down. Just ignore him, his threats and see how it goes. Majority of Nigerian men would play that card. They are hardly ever wrong. The very evil ones would keep up with it, some would calm down. Whichever one he is, you know what is best for you.

People saying he is not cheating. I would never understand why a married man would turn chauffeur for his female worker. You people should be commenting with sense abeg.

maasoap:
You were just rambling and rambling as if you didn't read her previous posts that made it clear that her husband was not ready to discuss with or explain anything to her. Her husband will never listen to her until he's through with the biitch he's following. I just don't understand why you're blaming her for her husband's irresponsibility!

It started right from the garden of Eden. Only 1% of Nigerian men own their shit. The supposed logical gender.

Crummy:
Amazingbaby I have read both threads and sincerely hope you would listen to what I have to say.

1) it would shock you, but I don't think your husband is cheating on you with that girl you are suspecting, though he might be cheating with other girls but not that one.

2) your husband admires that girl, I think he find her easy to talk to and he connects with her. That's why he was always talking about his business to her at his friends place. You don't communicate well with your husband

3) you deserve an explanation from your husband, but not probably the way you ask right now, men are the easiest people to get if you know their password

4) I think you are paranoid and that is because u don't have much on your hands, once u get a job and something you are passionate with, you won't have much time for unfounded allegations.

5) not giving peace in the home is a thing, a husband should not feel bad whenever he is going home to his family, his house should feel like a home not a battlefield, it's not everything you fight about.. and before you demand transparency,ensure that you yourself is transparent.

6) your husband probably doesn't feel loved or respected in his home,it your duty as a wife to do that no matter what anyone says,why marry someone you cannot love or respect? I think he leaving home for you is for u to come to your senses and beg him...

[s] 7) you should apologize for your behaviour, promise to change, listen to him and care for him and see if he would still behave the way he is.. please don't give up on your marriage, I really don't think that girl is cheating with your husband,for her to mention she is a minister and answer your questions well she is not a demon,if u meet ladies ready to snatch your husband you sef go fear. [/s]

your husband would change once he sees genuine change and trust, it's obvious u don't trust him and it's understandable considering what he did with your friend,but u have to make your marriage work..no fun in divorce....

Thanks..

Now, this is funny and hilarious. Really, you actually considered this a worthy advice? So, if you ever treated your wife like that, you would be expecting her to apologise to you?

Crummy:
Amazingbaby I have read both threads and sincerely hope you would listen to what I have to say.

1) it would shock you, but I don't think your husband is cheating on you with that girl you are suspecting, though he might be cheating with other girls but not that one.

2) your husband admires that girl, I think he find her easy to talk to and he connects with her. That's why he was always talking about his business to her at his friends place. You don't communicate well with your husband

3) you deserve an explanation from your husband, but not probably the way you ask right now, men are the easiest people to get if you know their password

4) I think you are paranoid and that is because u don't have much on your hands, once u get a job and something you are passionate with, you won't have much time for unfounded allegations.

5) not giving peace in the home is a thing, a husband should not feel bad whenever he is going home to his family, his house should feel like a home not a battlefield, it's not everything you fight about.. and before you demand transparency,ensure that you yourself is transparent.

6) your husband probably doesn't feel loved or respected in his home,it your duty as a wife to do that no matter what anyone says,why marry someone you cannot love or respect? I think he leaving home for you is for u to come to your senses and beg him...

7) you should apologize for your behaviour, promise to change, listen to him and care for him and see if he would still behave the way he is.. please don't give up on your marriage, I really don't think that girl is cheating with your husband,for her to mention she is a minister and answer your questions well she is not a demon,if u meet ladies ready to snatch your husband you sef go fear.

your husband would change once he sees genuine change and trust, it's obvious u don't trust him and it's understandable considering what he did with your friend,but u have to make your marriage work..no fun in divorce....

Thanks..

Wow wow wow
Are you my mum? Because she said all this to me,I am suspicious AGAIN......lol

Thank you

Pls postman and brastlavia stop na,biko

postmann:
You're throwing words together in a flustering attempt at playing catch up only to end up sounding like a night school graded student who studied English as her 6th language.

I wonder how many men you've tried to impress with this your forced show of intellectual hollowness.

I'll tell you what; good girls your age are tucked either in-between their sheets gazing into the calm assuring eyes of their men while stroking their hairy chests or are reading their kids some lullabies already.

But here you are, with a beaten down and gaping vulva bearing the burden of a wasted life, projecting your misfortunes on nairaland males as if that would do the trick of the vagina rejuvenation you desperately need.

Is that all you can manage?

Vulva this, vulva that. Did the one you journeyed through traumatize you that much?

It seems my last post hit you hard. Impressed you even.

Your posts are filled with a lot of loneliness, self hate and accursedness. You are deeply frustrated with yourself and you can only express it the way you do —sexual themed outbursts against strangers online.

The thing that broke you this badly needs to be done once more.

You post a lot of fantasy. What do you know about my sex life let alone my relationship status? Or is it your usual garbage posts filled with fantasy to make yourself feel better that I'm supposed to take seriously? The usual sex organs, slut shaming of women you don't even know? The usual empty postulations? Using words like trollop on someone you don't even know, is that supposed to make me feel something, anything at all? At the rate you're going, you're mental.
You need to tell me the point of your posts. It's difficult to understand where you're coming from.

The things you post indicate you are damaged and broken beyond repair.

Still waiting for you to post something that makes sense and is based in reality. Your word soup fantasy is water off a duck.

Still waiting for the part where you become entertaining.

You are perpetually pitifully devolved.

Insulting you would've been a pleasure, but you are actually to be pitied. A pitiful waste that has been placed in the sewers where it belongs.

Pls save ur marriage.ur hubby is not cheating on u.stop dragging with him.make peace with him.women over react too much abt this cheating stuff.he takes care of his family,what else again

maasoap:


Now, this is funny and hilarious. Really, you actually considered this a worthy advice? So, if you ever treated your wife like that, you would be expecting her to apologise to you?

I am lady ,and I am married...like I said she is not blameless,so is he...if she sincerely acknowledges her own fault in all this , I can bet her husband will too...if she can only listen to him, she sounds like she undermines him and doesn't listen to him at all...no one wants to be undermined,male or female. And yes,she has more to lose if he leaves her,it's cold outside.and she has no evidence but paranoia.

gift0123:
I can see you are a nagging woman, and you don't give that man peace of mind...
Go and sort out your marital issues abeg.

See an angel here giving a verdict, lol. Today, you're wiser than her and you are free to be judgemental until you find yourself in her shoe one day.

Crummy:
I am lady ,and I am married...like I said she is not blameless,so is he...if she sincerely acknowledges her own fault in all this , I can bet her husband will too...if she can only listen to him, she sounds like she undermines him and doesn't listen to him at all...no one wants to be undermined,male or female. And yes,she has more to lose if he leaves her,it's cold outside.and she has no evidence but paranoia.

If every husband behaves like that, separation and divorce will be everywhere. He doesn't respect his wife and his marriage. Men cheat but not in that stupid and senseless manner.