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I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. - Romance - Nairaland

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I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by Mychive(op): 8:17am On Feb 12, 2022
Quite lengthy because I want to be as detailed as enough for better understanding..

We were great as friends that anyone could think we were dating even though by then, we were not dating at all, although we once had deep romance but no se.x because she wasn't ready and I wouldn't force or rape.

We kicked of relationship late last year and after a month, an issue came up where I had to travel for an exam and she had to go for her I.T. We couldn't hold our long phone calls like before , even though we still talk everyday but not as deep as we used to due to the new schedule.

After I was done with the exams , I called her a day after and told her I would speak with her later. Before the evening came, she dropped a breakup message for me on WhatsApp and I asked why, she told me she doesn't understand what's going on anymore because she noticed we didn't talk like before.

Made her realised that she ought to know that our schedule in the previous weeks wouldn't allow but now that exams are out of the way for me, we can talk often cos I wasn't really available during the exam time.

She complained that she would message me and I wouldn't reply quick on WhatsApp ...this was true sha cos those times, I might just be online and drop my phone somewhere or would be reading some stuff online here on WhatsApp so she felt I was ignoring or intentionally delaying the responses.

I Sha explained to her and everything got settled....

4 days later, she broke up again saying she still doesn't feel the vibe anymore that we were greater when we were friends than when Relationship entered.

I didn't press more on the dating again but she was still constantly giving the attention and acting like nothing happened. I wasn't sure if she had reconsidered or not. So I told a friend of mine who was her friend (male) to help me tease her a bit to even know her stand... She didn't know about this sha. She didn't know the guy was trying to find things out for me.

So he told the guy that she started dating me a month ago and then after a month, an issue came up. She explained what happened and how pained she was to feel avoided or taken for granted because I wasn't really responding to chats quickly like before...She told my friend that "now she doesn't even know if we're back or not"

Then she said after the first issue, she started thinking of some things... That now me the guy is done with school even though she knows I'm still doing Masters program of 2 years, not like she's planning on marriage but she doesn't know what might come up, secondly, age difference, I'm like 5 years older...then her sister doesn't know about the Relationship which she doesn't like...due to how close they're and the fact that when her previous relationship ended and she told her sister, her sister fought her for not letting her know about the Relationship till it ended.

Then she told my guy that I feel the issue of we dating or not has been settled but within her , she knows it's not settled and whether then or later, the breakup will still happen and everybody would be fine. She told my friend all these. Now, my friend told me everything she said but he refused to tell me this last part because she told him not to tell me.... It was when I checked their chat on my friends phone that I discovered myself. ...safe to say my friend knew it and didn't tell me.

I travelled down home last December and I didn't have it in mind to see her at all but she made suggestions twice that we should see...

First time, she suggested we see... She said she wanted a private place ..a roomm.. I told her no problem. Come to my place or we go to hotel... As those are the two options available, she rejected. But she wouldn't tell me where she wanted. On Jan. 1st, she told me that we should meet as well that her sister would cover up for her when she's leaving home... She wants a private place, rejected hotel or coming to my place.. . similar to first time. We couldn't get to see.

On the 3rd of January, she broke up saying we were having too many issues, her sister doesn't know about this and she doesn't like the fact that her sister doesn't know plus some other people she tells that she's single which wasn't a fair thing...and she's confused and not sure whether she wants the Relationship or not, that we were better as friends till Relationship came.
Till now, I didn't get what really happened...but she knows it that I really like her.

Though throughout last week, I was in her school city and I told her about it. She made plans to come see me but said she wouldn't sleep over...

I Sha didn't later let that plan work. I didn't bother letting her know when to come around to meet me at the hotel. ...till I left..

We are more of WhatsApp status viewers now sha. It's been over a month and I still can't stop thinking about her, couldn't get her off my head. I'm not chatting or talking to her so I don't appear desperate or simping.

I need advises / suggestions on this because I'd be travelling to her school city again next week and I'm lost between seeing her or not.
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by JOACHINpedro: 8:20am On Feb 12, 2022
Wow!
This shit happened to me.
Guess what I did?
I deleted her number to avoid getting tempted to call her. Alas! I was relieved. That relationship has lost its taste, this is where you hear irreconcilable differences
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by MufasaLion: 8:27am On Feb 12, 2022
sad
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by DaddyRochie1642: 8:29am On Feb 12, 2022
Oga to Slap you dey hungry me.

Focus on your Masters Program and goals,
Why are you allowing yourself to be distracted.

If she doesn't want to be your Life, then you shouldn't be in her Life too.
It's called SELF RESPECT.
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by pansophist(m): 8:30am On Feb 12, 2022
Her mind don comot from the relationship, accept it, or you'll suffer uselessly.
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by Sammy101111(m): 8:38am On Feb 12, 2022
Bro Follow the guy code
woman after they feel your vibes
Once they start getting vibes somewhere
They start giving you useless excuse
My ex thought me deep lesson so i stopped loving any more because i notice what this ladies like is lies and fake life .
This ladies are greedy
You meet a nigga working well paid, legit business ,owns a property makes constant income , stays along in comfortable apartment on is own and always sorting your bills an her bills yet she will not plan to settle down with him but be looking for something else .

Bro i know how It feels
Just leave her and move on

My ex always view my whats app status regulary and i already mute are status because it as no use to me

Any woman who f.U..CK..ED up a real niggas heart will always regret at last because she will never be comfortable anywhere

Bet it with me she is going to call you back soon it may not be now it may not be in a year but when she feels touched she will remember she did wrong to you.

Listen to this song it will cool you down

j martins cool temper
Listen to the lyrics
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by Sonnobax15(m): 8:39am On Feb 12, 2022
lipsrsealed
Ok
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by blinking001(m):
How can a man be taking this huge amount of rubbish from a woman? Op you lack self worth. You don't love and respect yourself and yet want others to love and respect you? It doesn't work that way bro. She initiated the breakup severally becuase she isn't into you. She doesn't find you sexually attractive too. You must come to terms with this reality. Forget all this flimsy excuses she's telling you, another dude is really bleeping her real good. Its the reality.
Solution
1)Your girl is a narcissist and must be avoided at all cost
2)Stop calling her and writting her on WhatsApp, Facebook etc.
3)Move on and focus on your masters program
4)Stop getting emotionally attached to women
5)Develop your self esteem, you lack self esteem
6)stop chasing women, develop yourself and watch them chase you. It's always better to be the CHOSEN one by this bittches.
7)Take the redpill.
Addendum
How can a man be this weak? Indeed masculinity has gone to the dogs.
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by fikayormi(m): 8:44am On Feb 12, 2022
Verily verily I say unto you op

Move on !
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by Boogyman557: 8:51am On Feb 12, 2022
Holly Gram cool Na ENERGY DRINK u go GIVE me to take READ all Dis matterz wey u TYPE 4 here...



mean while..



LITE UP my WEED in peace..


WTF MAN!
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by helinues: 8:53am On Feb 12, 2022
Give her the break she has requested for and focus on important things.

If you are valuable to her, she would come back
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by olugabbie(m): 8:54am On Feb 12, 2022
Mychive:
Quite lengthy because I want to be as detailed as enough for better understanding..

We were great as friends that anyone could think we were dating even though by then, we were not dating at all, although we once had deep romance but no se.x because she wasn't ready and I wouldn't force or rape.

We kicked of relationship late last year and after a month, an issue came up where I had to travel for an exam and she had to go for her I.T. We couldn't hold our long phone calls like before , even though we still talk everyday but not as deep as we used to due to the new schedule.

After I was done with the exams , I called her a day after and told her I would speak with her later. Before the evening came, she dropped a breakup message for me on WhatsApp and I asked why, she told me she doesn't understand what's going on anymore because she noticed we didn't talk like before.

Made her realised that she ought to know that our schedule in the previous weeks wouldn't allow but now that exams are out of the way for me, we can talk often cos I wasn't really available during the exam time.

She complained that she would message me and I wouldn't reply quick on WhatsApp ...this was true sha cos those times, I might just be online and drop my phone somewhere or would be reading some stuff online here on WhatsApp so she felt I was ignoring or intentionally delaying the responses.

I Sha explained to her and everything got settled....

4 days later, she broke up again saying she still doesn't feel the vibe anymore that we were greater when we were friends than when Relationship entered.

I didn't press more on the dating again but she was still constantly giving the attention and acting like nothing happened. I wasn't sure if she had reconsidered or not. So I told a friend of mine who was her friend (male) to help me tease her a bit to even know her stand... She didn't know about this sha. She didn't know the guy was trying to find things out for me.

So he told the guy that she started dating me a month ago and then after a month, an issue came up. She explained what happened and how pained she was to feel avoided or taken for granted because I wasn't really responding to chats quickly like before...She told my friend that "now she doesn't even know if we're back or not"

Then she said after the first issue, she started thinking of some things... That now me the guy is done with school even though she knows I'm still doing Masters program of 2 years, not like she's planning on marriage but she doesn't know what might come up, secondly, age difference, I'm like 5 years older...then her sister doesn't know about the Relationship which she doesn't like...due to how close they're and the fact that when her previous relationship ended and she told her sister, her sister fought her for not letting her know about the Relationship till it ended.

Then she told my guy that I feel the issue of we dating or not has been settled but within her , she knows it's not settled and whether then or later, the breakup will still happen and everybody would be fine. She told my friend all these. Now, my friend told me everything she said but he refused to tell me this last part because she told him not to tell me.... It was when I checked their chat on my friends phone that I discovered myself. ...safe to say my friend knew it and didn't tell me.

I travelled down home last December and I didn't have it in mind to see her at all but she made suggestions twice that we should see...

First time, she suggested we see... She said she wanted a private place ..a roomm.. I told her no problem. Come to my place or we go to hotel... As those are the two options available, she rejected. But she wouldn't tell me where she wanted. On Jan. 1st, she told me that we should meet as well that her sister would cover up for her when she's leaving home... She wants a private place, rejected hotel or coming to my place.. . similar to first time. We couldn't get to see.

On the 3rd of January, she broke up saying we were having too many issues, her sister doesn't know about this and she doesn't like the fact that her sister doesn't know plus some other people she tells that she's single which wasn't a fair thing...and she's confused and not sure whether she wants the Relationship or not, that we were better as friends till Relationship came.
Till now, I didn't get what really happened...but she knows it that I really like her.

Though throughout last week, I was in her school city and I told her about it. She made plans to come see me but said she wouldn't sleep over...

I Sha didn't later let that plan work. I didn't bother letting her know when to come around to meet me at the hotel. ...till I left..

We are more of WhatsApp status viewers now sha. It's been over a month and I still can't stop thinking about her, couldn't get her off my head. I'm not chatting or talking to her so I don't appear desperate or simping.

I need advises / suggestions on this because I'd be travelling to her school city again next week and I'm lost between seeing her or not.
Just let her go. You can not force her to date you.
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by Olaoluwa112(m): 8:56am On Feb 12, 2022
Na this kind mumu post that will keep entering front page.


Anyways, mod Una well-done, small ad wey I do under some posts na hin make you guys block me for a full month.
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by Agricmoney(m): 8:59am On Feb 12, 2022
this reminds me of a song lyrics “ i’m walking away... from the troubles in my life, I’m walking away...



Anyway, Agriculture is life.
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by Kingpin1000: 9:11am On Feb 12, 2022
O.P how do you know you are in love?
O.P what is love?
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by Godada(m):
huh

In a relationship, it's either you both want it or you don't.

One underlying concern in most relationships is when the lady doesn't know what she wants.

So Op, this relationship has already gone to the dogs.

Salvage some dignity and let her shove it up her ass.

Break it up totally... don't call or text.

Since you got your yourself in love. Get out of it.

Never have been a fan of a relationship without intimacy. Never made sense to me in the past, still don't make sense moving into the future.

You stand a very good chance of been friend zoned.

Light up that gash quick, no dulling.

If she ain't having it.......let her be.

However, it's obvious there is something you do lack.

It's called closing the deal.

It's obvious she likes you but you didn't go all the way to make her yours. You have been guilty of dithering and stuttering.

No lady wants a guy who isn't sure of himself or where she stands in his life.

It's obvious you have lost this one.
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by Shortyy(f): 9:41am On Feb 12, 2022
You like her, and can't stop thinking about her. But you can't chat nor call her cuz u don't want to be a simp lol.

You're not ready then. Let her go and don't disturb us. Ego and pride be ruining relationships more than anything.
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by daisy17D: 9:48am On Feb 12, 2022
Mychive:
Quite lengthy because I want to be as detailed as enough for better understanding..

We were great as friends that anyone could think we were dating even though by then, we were not dating at all, although we once had deep romance but no se.x because she wasn't ready and I wouldn't force or rape.

We kicked of relationship late last year and after a month, an issue came up where I had to travel for an exam and she had to go for her I.T. We couldn't hold our long phone calls like before , even though we still talk everyday but not as deep as we used to due to the new schedule.

After I was done with the exams , I called her a day after and told her I would speak with her later. Before the evening came, she dropped a breakup message for me on WhatsApp and I asked why, she told me she doesn't understand what's going on anymore because she noticed we didn't talk like before.

Made her realised that she ought to know that our schedule in the previous weeks wouldn't allow but now that exams are out of the way for me, we can talk often cos I wasn't really available during the exam time.

She complained that she would message me and I wouldn't reply quick on WhatsApp ...this was true sha cos those times, I might just be online and drop my phone somewhere or would be reading some stuff online here on WhatsApp so she felt I was ignoring or intentionally delaying the responses.

I Sha explained to her and everything got settled....

4 days later, she broke up again saying she still doesn't feel the vibe anymore that we were greater when we were friends than when Relationship entered.

I didn't press more on the dating again but she was still constantly giving the attention and acting like nothing happened. I wasn't sure if she had reconsidered or not. So I told a friend of mine who was her friend (male) to help me tease her a bit to even know her stand... She didn't know about this sha. She didn't know the guy was trying to find things out for me.

So he told the guy that she started dating me a month ago and then after a month, an issue came up. She explained what happened and how pained she was to feel avoided or taken for granted because I wasn't really responding to chats quickly like before...She told my friend that "now she doesn't even know if we're back or not"

Then she said after the first issue, she started thinking of some things... That now me the guy is done with school even though she knows I'm still doing Masters program of 2 years, not like she's planning on marriage but she doesn't know what might come up, secondly, age difference, I'm like 5 years older...then her sister doesn't know about the Relationship which she doesn't like...due to how close they're and the fact that when her previous relationship ended and she told her sister, her sister fought her for not letting her know about the Relationship till it ended.

Then she told my guy that I feel the issue of we dating or not has been settled but within her , she knows it's not settled and whether then or later, the breakup will still happen and everybody would be fine. She told my friend all these. Now, my friend told me everything she said but he refused to tell me this last part because she told him not to tell me.... It was when I checked their chat on my friends phone that I discovered myself. ...safe to say my friend knew it and didn't tell me.

I travelled down home last December and I didn't have it in mind to see her at all but she made suggestions twice that we should see...

First time, she suggested we see... She said she wanted a private place ..a roomm.. I told her no problem. Come to my place or we go to hotel... As those are the two options available, she rejected. But she wouldn't tell me where she wanted. On Jan. 1st, she told me that we should meet as well that her sister would cover up for her when she's leaving home... She wants a private place, rejected hotel or coming to my place.. . similar to first time. We couldn't get to see.

On the 3rd of January, she broke up saying we were having too many issues, her sister doesn't know about this and she doesn't like the fact that her sister doesn't know plus some other people she tells that she's single which wasn't a fair thing...and she's confused and not sure whether she wants the Relationship or not, that we were better as friends till Relationship came.
Till now, I didn't get what really happened...but she knows it that I really like her.

Though throughout last week, I was in her school city and I told her about it. She made plans to come see me but said she wouldn't sleep over...

I Sha didn't later let that plan work. I didn't bother letting her know when to come around to meet me at the hotel. ...till I left..

We are more of WhatsApp status viewers now sha. It's been over a month and I still can't stop thinking about her, couldn't get her off my head. I'm not chatting or talking to her so I don't appear desperate or simping.

I need advises / suggestions on this because I'd be travelling to her school city again next week and I'm lost between seeing her or not.
disract your mind by doing something interesting.
meet your friend circle enjoy with them.
Focus on your career.
bsy yourself, its called self respect also.
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by gfon(m): 9:49am On Feb 12, 2022
Not always a good idea to date a babe wey don friend zone you before. In the end,you would both turn to enemies.some babes are best kept as friends and not for dating or Bleep-mates
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by 1818eigtn: 10:59am On Feb 12, 2022
[s]
helinues:
Give her the break she has requested for and focus on important things.

If you are valuable to her, she would come back
[/s]
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by Jack005(m): 11:38am On Feb 12, 2022
The girl is actually confused.. I'd advise you stop giving her the needed attention... She doesn't value you one bit.. Women have the most pride and ego, starve them of that and watch them wail in private.. Be man with balls and not a pu.ssy
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by Mychive(op): 11:54am On Feb 12, 2022
Godada:
huh

In a relationship, it's either you both want it or you don't.

One underlying concern in most relationships is when the lady doesn't know what she wants.

So Op, this relationship has already gone to the dogs.

Salvage some dignity and let her shove it up her ass.

Break it up totally... don't call or text.

Since you got your yourself in love. Get out of it.

Never have been a fan of a relationship without intimacy. Never made sense to me in the past, still don't make sense moving into the future.

You stand a very good chance of been friend zoned.

Light up that gash quick, no dulling.

If she ain't having it.......let her be.

However, it's obvious there is something you do lack.

It's called closing the deal.

It's obvious she likes you but you didn't go all the way to make her yours. You have been guilty of dithering and stuttering.

No lady wants a guy who isn't sure of himself or where she stands in his life.

It's obvious you have lost this one.
I didn't play the nice guy game with her. I didn't everything humanly possible and with experience cos i know how I do my shii.

It's just f**ked up how she started getting confused and all then leading to all these decline and all.
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by Mychive(op): 11:56am On Feb 12, 2022
Shortyy:
You like her, and can't stop thinking about her. But you can't chat nor call her cuz u don't want to be a simp lol.

You're not ready then. Let her go and don't disturb us. Ego and pride be ruining relationships more than anything.
Lol, I should continue pressing on someone who told me we should end everything because she can't tell me to keep waiting ?

I told her I was never waiting anyway. The day you told me you wanted a break was the day I believe you ended everything.

I like her and she's aware (one more reason the shakara was much)

I should keep pressing and chatting someone who most probably is talking to someone who else but needed to give flimsy excuse as a reason to breakup ? Nay, I won't soil myself. I've had enough.
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by oazeez1991(m): 2:03pm On Feb 12, 2022
@Op, in case you don't know what RED FLAG mean or stands for, that's it staring at your face. All what you narrated about her the way she's handling the situation are enough red flag. You need no soothsayer to spell it out to you. Once a lady initiated a breakup, especially based on flimsy reason, just know that's the end of such relationship regardless of whether or not you both later reconcile, experience have taught me so. Her gibberish about her sister not aware bla bla bla alone should even alert you about her immature or not feeling your vibe acts, not to talk of her raising issue of you being older than her with 5years, like seriously? Was it suppose to be the other way round ni? Lol! All her excuses, if true based on your narration, are so childish and flimsy. Just ghost and let go of her. There is tendency for her to come back, and when that happen, it's now left in your arsenal to do whatever please you, but for me, wouldn't take her serious again cos I wouldn't keep up with someone with those kind of reasonings.
Meanwhile, some relationship are better off as FRIENDSHIP. So, move on already, and not have a misplace of priority. Your Master programme and every other personal development first no matter what.
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by Candidlady: 2:06pm On Feb 12, 2022
olugabbie:
Just let her go. You can not force her to date you.
You had to quote the op just to drop a phrase... Na wa a angry

So many mad yaros
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by olugabbie(m): 2:33pm On Feb 12, 2022
Candidlady:
You had to quote the op just to drop a phrase... Na wa a angry

So many mad yaros
You don't need a long script to advise someone. If you want to advise the OP. Please do so & if you don't have any advise to give, just read other people's comments and learn. You need to stop displaying your immaturity online.
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by Candidlady: 2:37pm On Feb 12, 2022
olugabbie:
You don't need a long script to advise someone. If you want to advise the OP. Please do so & if you don't have any advise to give, just read other people's comments and learn. You need to stop displaying your immaturity online.
You are the immature being here... You had yo quote that lengthy write up!!!
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by olugabbie(m): 2:41pm On Feb 12, 2022
Candidlady:
You are the immature being here... You had yo quote that lengthy write up!!!
Indeed! If i may ask, how does it affect you?
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by Candidlady: 2:43pm On Feb 12, 2022
olugabbie:
Indeed! If i may ask, how does it affect you?
Really wanna know how it affects me?
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by olugabbie(m): 2:50pm On Feb 12, 2022
[quote author=Candidlady post=110168941]Really wanna know how it affects me?

[/quo

Yes! Cos i am sure i didn't break any nairaland rule.
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by Candidlady: 2:53pm On Feb 12, 2022
[quote author=olugabbie post=110169148][/quote]Yes you broke a rule kindly go through the rules again


Please be reasonable next time or get banned


Thank you
Re: I'm In Love, Broken And Lost In This Situation. Kindly Advise On What To Do. by olugabbie(m): 2:55pm On Feb 12, 2022
Candidlady:
Yes you broke a rule kindly go through the rules again


Please be reasonable next time or get banned


Thank you
You are just a trouble maker
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