₦airaland Forum

Karleb:
The last line spoiled everything.

I don't know why you believe beautiful women are evil. Funny thing is, the woman in question might not be beautiful.

jaxxy:
So u think working hard and paying bills excuses ur wrong behaviours? Fixes emotional distress? Unless u marry a prostitute u have another think coming.

U wife doesn't open her legs because u pay her bills unless u bought her love in the market then yes. Relationships is more than money. Atleast a real or sensible relationship is.

If she denies u sex offcourse there should be a good explanation and I said besides the regular arguments they have she just had a baby 3months ago. Let her breathe.

Also fix the toxic relationship so sex isn't a mechanical activity.

That's my point if u read what I wrote properly.

Klass99:
Richy I will box your ears o! I wasn't looking for male admirers or male validation. I have said it more than once on this forum that I don't like foolish women and we need to tell ourselves the truth as adults, whether male or female.

This is not a boast or show-off, but I do honest work for a living and I pay my bills myself, major bills like rent, the monthly service charge, I send a monthly allowance to my parents, etcetera. So, I understand that it is not easy to make money legitimately.

I don't imagine it is easier for responsible men who do right by their families, to make this money either. When you now have a decent man who is not slacking off and paying bills you benefit from as an adult, you still want to misbehave! I ask again, you dey ment?

Some weeks ago, I woke up to a credit alert of 20k from a male friend (money I didn't ask for) I called him to verify if it was an error, so I could send it back. He said no it wasn't an error, I should use the money and treat myself to something nice. I was so touched and grateful by his generosity because;

1. I understand the value of money and I respect anyone with a legit hustle.

2. For someone to gift you cash (even if it is 3k) they made a sacrifice to deny themselves of something, in order to give you that money. No one has free money lying around that they do not need.

3. I have been responsible for myself for so long, it felt good to be gifted cash with no strings attached to it.

Some married women have good men on a platter, who do right by them and their children but they ruin it with a bad and disrespectful attitude.

Imagine if this OP starts cheating now, this same woman will rain insults on single women like me, claiming we used jazz on her husband. Then she will start a 24 hour fasting and prayer programme disturbing heaven to restore her hubby/marriage.

As for the sister code, abeg ehn, the code does not apply to foolish women and you know I don't do herd mentality. Independent thinking is the secret sauce of my sweet life.

Hezzyluv:
Na wao...

Na your fault. You saw all the red flags during courtship, but you neglected it. Your only concern was...
she carry back
she carry front.
She too package
I can't leave
The more reason why I can't leave her..
Now, see where it has landed you to. Barely one year marriage heading for divorce

Any advise people gives you here may not work again, since you had tried all you could to restore peace to no avail. And from the beginning, nothing like Peace @all. Because, 30% peace is not Worth it. Report it to God. perhaps, "him go dey merciful 2u help you arrange your marriage back". Then, even God warned you by showing you red flags, but you choose to turn deaf ears.


See to be honest with you, humanly speaking or from human point of view, it appears it's done and dusted. She has even told you to go and have sex outside if you wish, which means she can go and have sex elsewhere too if she so desire. That's if she never start having sex outside. The one that breaks the camel's back is that, "her parents are fully in support of her".
Maybe them don see one bigman way wan marry their daughter wey don start to dey shower them money.

Cheers...

Klass99:
Richy I will box your ears o! I wasn't looking for male admirers or male validation. I have said it more than once on this forum that I don't like foolish women and we need to tell ourselves the truth as adults, whether male or female.

This is not a boast or show-off, but I do honest work for a living and I pay my bills myself, major bills like rent, the monthly service charge, I send a monthly allowance to my parents, etcetera. So, I understand that it is not easy to make money legitimately.

I don't imagine it is easier for responsible men who do right by their families, to make this money either. When you now have a decent man who is not slacking off and paying bills you benefit from as an adult, you still want to misbehave! I ask again, you dey ment?

Some weeks ago, I woke up to a credit alert of 20k from a male friend (money I didn't ask for) I called him to verify if it was an error, so I could send it back. He said no it wasn't an error, I should use the money and treat myself to something nice. I was so touched and grateful by his generosity because;

1. I understand the value of money and I respect anyone with a legit hustle.

2. For someone to gift you cash (even if it is 3k) they made a sacrifice to deny themselves of something, in order to give you that money. No one has free money lying around that they do not need.

3. I have been responsible for myself for so long, it felt good to be gifted cash with no strings attached to it.

Some married women have good men on a platter, who do right by them and their children but they ruin it with a bad and disrespectful attitude.

Imagine if this OP starts cheating now, this same woman will rain insults on single women like me, claiming we used jazz on her husband. Then she will start a 24 hour fasting and prayer programme disturbing heaven to restore her hubby/marriage.

As for the sister code, abeg ehn, the code does not apply to foolish women and you know I don't do herd mentality. Independent thinking is the secret sauce of my sweet life.

Philip94:
I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right.

She gets offended easily, keeps malice and gives me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all.

Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE.

I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me.

She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them.

B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present.

Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now.

NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining. She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.

Karleb:
The last line spoiled everything.

I don't know why you believe beautiful women are evil. Funny thing is, the woman in question might not be beautiful.

Philip94:
I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right.

She gets offended easily, keeps malice and gives me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all.

Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE.

I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me.

She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them.

B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present.

Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now.

NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining. She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.

TheSourcerer:
like You don't get high?

LagosInter:
You are just silly. There is no justfication for that type of treatment meted to this man

jaxxy:
When u wrong ur partner over and again expect things to be all normal and lovey dovy. U will only be deceiving urself.

We still don't know the seriousness of what transpired bt we know there are ongoing issues. If he knew she was bad why did he go ahead to marry her? Or was he forced?? Didn't he see her character??

He either shouldn't have married her if she was so bad or he has his own issues and isn't saying them as it is. They even fought days to their wedding imagine.

Philip94:
I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right.

She gets offended easily, keeps malice and gives me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all.

Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE.

I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me.

She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them.

B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present.

Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now.

NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining. She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.

LagosInter:
The said wrong was in the past. He still married the ingrate.

She is doing it cos she can get away with it.

He dare not try such with a man than knows his onions.

Davido cheated on Chioma, Tuface cheated yet none dare deny these men sex because they know the consequences

Ajens1991:
It's okay bro... I understand how you feel. I've seen similar things from my wife.
Lemme ask you this, does your wife attend the same church with you? If yes, then the two of you have to go back to your pastor for counseling.

Second, don't ever report your wife to your family or even her own family. If she tells you to give her space, politely leave her to her wish. If she decides to leave the house on her own, don't force her to stay.

Before I forget, don't pity or pamper her anymore. Her kind of woman does not like a soft hearted man, it irritates them especially when it comes to being decisive. You have an obligation to control your home; your wife inclusive.
Too bad you married someone who's not ready for marriage.

BRO BE BRUTAL AND BLUNT WITH HER, SHE CANNOT GO ANYWHERE. YOU ARE AT AN ADVANTAGE NOW; SHEY YOU SAY SHE JUST BORN? SO NO WORRY, HER HEAD GO REACH HOUSE WHEN YOU STOP TO PET HER.

jaxxy:
So u think working hard and paying bills excuses ur wrong behaviours? Fixes emotional distress? Unless u marry a prostitute u have another think coming.

U wife doesn't open her legs because u pay her bills unless u bought her love in the market then yes. Relationships is more than money. Atleast a real or sensible relationship is.

If she denies u sex offcourse there should be a good explanation and I said besides the regular arguments they have she just had a baby 3months ago. Let her breathe.

Also fix the toxic relationship so sex isn't a mechanical activity.

That's my point if u read what I wrote properly.

LagosInter:
The said wrong was in the past. He still married the ingrate.

She is doing it cos she can get away with it.

He dare not try such with a man than knows his onions.

Davido cheated on Chioma, Tuface cheated yet none dare deny these men sex because they know the consequences

jaxxy:
I'm.sure they fixed their marriage b4 they got sex. Chioma denied Davido when he cheated till they just got back 2geda. A sensible is not an object in ur kingdom. She is not a sexdoll.

The question is does the op ha e the emotional intelligence to fix his marriage or relationship issues or he thinks it's by paying bills?

Men pay bills and their women still go out and cheat. Money is different from sense.

Candidlady:
Was the bolded necessary

Pretty sure you would have rubbed this same sentence all over her face...


You are not complaining but yet you stated it in your post


Because of the bolded some won't even give you the advice you seek, they will end up insulting your wife


Good luck finding solution to your problem

LagosInter:
Will Chioma deny Davido sex for whatever reason?

Will Obi Cubana's wife deny him sex knowing that he is into club biz with women hanging around?


Will annie idibia deny Tuface sex?



She is doing it cos she knows there will be no consequences.


Same way people beat those they are more powerful than at the slightest provocation and blame it on "hot temper"

Same people dare not display the hot temper at military check points.

Same Nigerians than beat traffic here travel abroad and stop it cos there are consequences. It's same people.

Humans will always misbehave if there are no dire consequences.

Philip94:
I have been married for almost a year but my marriage has been 30% sweet and mostly 70% bitter because I have an unforgiven wife who is ONLY concerned about what I said and did wrong but NEVER concern about what I did right.

She gets offended easily, keeps malice and gives me silent treatment at home. I've had private conversation with her MORE THAN 10 TIMES on how to find a lasting solution to wherever issues she has with me instead of her constant fault finding and malice. Despite my effort, all seems like a waste coz there is no positive change at all.

Lately, MY LEGALLY MARRIED WIFE TOLD ME THAT SHE NO LONGER FEEL CONNECTED AND FEEL LOVE FOR ME ANY MORE.

I asked her to tell me one or more reason why she said that but her response was NOTHING. She's practically creating space between us. She does her thing alone and does not carry me along in any thing and she wants same from me.

She is doing everything to make the marriage stop while I have been the one sustaining and making the marriage work out. Her parents are not helping matters coz they are not giving me listening ears and have a way of supporting their daughter by twisting whatever I say to suite them.

B4 we got married, we had quarrel and misunderstandings as other couples do and said abusive words to ourselves which we settled b4 our wedding day and I assume we have forgiven and forgotten about it. But with the look of things, my wife is tied to the past and will keep remembering what I said and did wrong in the past and she allows the past deed affect our present.

Sadly, her unforgiving attitude and never ending resentment is badly affecting our marriage presently. I have tried everything possible within my capacity to rekindle back her love for me & for the sake of our marriage and 3 months baby boy. I suggested that we go out to a cool place just the two of us alone but her response is NO. She even said I can go out and have sex with anyone that she doesn't want SEX for now.

NOTE: I am the one paying all the bills at home coz she's presently jobless. Yet, I am not complaining. She is not stressed up as some may think coz there are helpers at home taking care of her and the baby. Please! What can I do to put a stop to this shit. It's affecting my emotion and psychology.