So, I had known this girl for the past 3 years, she lives in Nsukka and I ussually come around since I have a family here when I met her three years ago, she was writing her WAEC and we seem to fall for each other, however she got admission later that year and now in UNEC so we didn't see for over a year becuase I was going through some stuff that didn't give me space to travel and they packed out from their formal house.

Few weeks back, I came to Nsukka for some trainings and given the ASUU strike, she is staying back in Nsukka, this had given us enough time to reunite, the love and desire is still there but a highly Intolerant girl I never knew had just emerged out of the blue.

First, she's from Agbo Delta State, she is one of the people who don't accept being Igbo, okay I have no problem with that but what irritates me is why she always throw subtle insult on the Igbos. Meanwhile since she been on strike she's been the one taking care of their shop where I ussually go to buy stuff and also make withdrawals, apart from the fact that I love her, I prefer to go to her shop becuase they run a POS service so I can easily withdraw and do my shopping right there.

On several occasions, I had overhead her speaking with her mum in their Agbo dialect and I can almost understand them completely despite my being from Nsukka, Ezikoba to be precise. I had asked her on several occasions, if you are not Igbo why do I understand you while you spoke to your mum, she always told me to forget that one.

Then one day a man came to withdraw money and instead of handing the money to her, the man kept the money on the table just about two foot away, so after collecting the money from the table, when the man left she now said "You Igbos don't have respect especially Igbo men, why would he keep the money on the table instead of give it to me", I looked at her and said, I hope you know thats hate speech when you make such generalisation by saying you Igbos while this if at all is an issue is individualistic. I asked her, I'm Igbo what do she think about me, she said I'm different however she wish to change me so I don't have that Igbo attitude, I smiled through that.

Honestly she's decent and intelligent but religious as well and seemingly intolerant in that aspect too, meanwhile I'm not quite the church going type especially because I have a view that religion had severely impaired our society and while acknowledging religion and God, I believe that extremism in religion is as well dangerous, and in another note, I see religion as an aspect of socialisation of which the Nigerian churches is suffering the same decay with the general society and as such I appreciate my peace and most times I isolate myself from most social gatherings.

However we had an argument over time about this whole church and God stuff, she wants me to start going to church, partly her concern is becuase of the rigorous nature of my trainings, she don't appreciate the fact that I'm isolated but the manner she's pressing for that is crazy, this morning she sent me a message telling me that if I don't give my life to christ that I should stop whatever with her, I smiled however to be honest I was hurt.

I'm worried becuase at one point I even considered marrying her, but even if I begin to go to church, what happens to the identity of our children, becuase I know her parents must have been the one that thought her so much intolerance for the Igbos, to even think that she was born and raised in Nsukka. Bellow is the screenshot of her message and reply.

Please I need advice, I don't want anyone to judge her especially as regards her tribal sentiments on the Igbo, I understand it is what she had been fed while growing, shes a nice person generally.

Even God sef don tire for Nigerians and their relationship wahala.

Bro, best advice is to detach yourself from this woman. It will get worse later in future. Peace of mind is all that matters

And just ignore her.. take your mind off the relationship

If that is her only problem you don't need to leave her...Many Nigerians are like her so no big deal, just try to tell her how you feel about it and hopefully she will change

Uncle96:
And just ignore her.. take your mind off the relationship

It not that simple, this is coming at a time that I'm not prepared at all, I just want peace

All these long write up for a hoe who's collecting dicks around, disguising herself using religion.

Alaye, haven't you heard you don't date Nigeria girls? U bang their pussies only, dump them and move on

AlexBells:

It not that simple, this is coming at a time that I'm not prepared at all, I just want peace

Then sit her down and talk face to face . Be on the same page

guy just comot mind from that girl...her parents has already sown the seed of tribalism...you can loose your life if you continue on that part. i'm talking from experience

Leave her and let her be ..... Sincerely, I also have somethings against igbo especially the igbo men. Tho I've never made my dislike to make anyone uncomfortable. But one of the major tenet of a lasting relationship is tolerance and patience. Just leave her and let peace reign.

Dorwadora:
Leave her and let her be ..... Sincerely, I also have somethings against igbo especially the igbo men. But one of the major tenet of a lasting relationship is tolerance and patience. Just leave her and let peace reign.

Whatever who have against Igbo is none of Igbo business. Keep that to yourself.

GooodHardDick:
All these long write up for a hoe who's collecting dicks around, disguising herself using religion.

Alaye, haven't you heard you don't date Nigeria girls? U bang their pussies only, dump them and move on

This man again ... But broski, permit me to ask, you plan to do marriage at all? Or just baby mama thingy? Local man is curiously curious.

Leave that girl oga because it's obvious that you two ain't compatible.

Religious girls always feel like they are doing you a favor whenever you guys are dating.

Zonefree:

Whatever who have against Igbo is none of Igbo business. Keep that to yourself.

why are you quoting me? Hope everything is fine with you?

From the screenshot, she made her points very clear and you also made your stand very clear and precise...!! So both of you should pretend nothing happened and go your separate ways...!!

Honestly speaking, some guys are impressing me this days, no time to be begging around/ trying to convince a confuse or domineering lady anymore, just leave her alone so she can always find you in her memories...!!

I love this,I'm impressed brother.
She can go suck Jesus's dick

Damnnn!!!!

Lmao

Lmao! I had to do a double take because It's almost like I am the one the OP is describing

See how rude the OP is. She was very polite and coordinated in her message, while his message is full of 'mumu', 'fool' and other allied vitriol.

Isioma deserves better. She is right in showing you the door, you stiff necked heathen.

There's no cause for alarm. You both could peacefully go separate ways without insults, hate, or retaliation. There are others who'd want you both individually for who you are.

Dorwadora:
Leave her and let her be ..... Sincerely, I also have somethings against igbo especially the igbo men. Tho I've never made my dislike to make anyone uncomfortable. But one of the major tenet of a lasting relationship is tolerance and patience. Just leave her and let peace reign.

If everyone started having a thing against another tribe, you'd not be safe to even manage oxygen. Stop being tribalistic...no tribe has totally good sides! Your hate is just in your head...and it doesn't have to count.

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I truly didn't understand the hatred people had for Igbos especially the south south people till i went for service. I found it weird that someone that bears and speak igbo will be insulting you and making bad jokes about the language they also speak.

My advise is move on from her. Her hatred for your tribe will only get worst,same with her attitude. I generally stay away from religious/churchy people because most of them have lost touch with reality.

Call it quit if you love your peace of mind

chatinent:
There's no cause for alarm. You both could peacefully go separate ways without insults, hate, or retaliation. There are others who'd want you both individually for who you are.



If everyone started having a thing against another tribe, you'd not be safe to even manage oxygen. Stop being tribalistic...no tribe has totally good sides! Your hate is just in your head...and it doesn't have to count.

Dearest sir.... Hate is a powerful word to be used anyhow. I do not hate any tribe, I said I have somethings against igbo men. The 'Something' in this context might be my unanswered opinion or belief. I am not tribalistic, I've never been and last time I checked my rights to Conscience, Expression and Religion as a Nigerian is still intact.

My man! If you want peace in your life. Leave her alone, this girl or lady will emasculate you to the core judging from what you've written and the content of the text she sent to you. You're a man! Let her go destroy somebody else's life

Some one that loves Jesus that biased against an ethnic group? Tell her she knows nothing about Jesus.
How can you love Jesus you don't see when you hate your fellowman you see.

Most Nigerians are very religious not saved!

@Op,
I take God beg you. Don't add wahala to the existing wahala you are carrying. That girl is not compatible with u, though you like her a lot. With the way you are following this girl, she's seeing herself as doing you good and you are likely to regret it later. Nothing lasts forever, not even the feelings you are having for her.

The truth is that she has hatred for your tribe and she is very likely to use it against you. When you meet the right person bro, everything will be easy. Things will fall in place easily. I am talking from experience.

In fact, your story reminded me of my encounter with one smallish delta Igbo girl. I asked her where she's from, she said Aniocha. I said, ooh! You are Igbo, she said she's not Igbo. That she's delta Igbo. Lol! This girl liked me and wanted something serious but just her perception about Igbos made me see her somehow. So, I stopped giving her attention and she was the one giving me attention.

We started being friendly and we talked about s3x and before you knew it, we started talking naughty. She asked me what i wanted from her, I told her I would have loved to date and marry her if she was Igbo. But we can just be friends with benefits. I don't really know if she accepted just to win my heart but we eventually had s3x and she right there, told me that she was not coming again except we were dating. That she wants someone she can call her own. I told her no wahala. That was how I stopped replying her and gradually, we are separated. Haven't even jam her since then.

Please, @Op, if you are not ready to be given conditions in your relationship where you too cannot give, that relationship will not favour you.

In order to let go, always remind yourself of her as side. Let it cloud your mind until u begin to loose that feelings. Delete any form of contact with her and pretend not to have known her before. If she's your woman, it would be easier to get along with her.

SilentQueen:
If that is her only problem you don't need to leave her...Many Nigerians are like her so no big deal, just try to tell her how you feel about it and hopefully she will change

You're such a stupid fellow, why you Nigeria girls don't call a spade a spade?

Ishilove:
Lmao! I had to do a double take because It's almost like I am the one the OP is describing

See how rude the OP is. She was very polite and coordinated in her message, while his message is full of 'mumu', 'fool' and other allied vitriol.

Isioma deserves better. She is right in showing you the door, you stiff necked heathen.

Thank youu.


I totally agree with you.

To add, I think Isioma simply needs to learn to be more tactful and discreet.

I do not support tribalism, but lots of people have tribal sentiments because of their experiences.

There's a tribe I'm quite familiar with. I'm partly from there even, and I grew up with them. But I have reservations about the men because many of them tend to be really patriarchal/traditional. But I won't meet a man from that tribe for instance and start treating him with all of the "biases" I have gathered overtime. I'll keep my sentiments aside and try to observe his individuality.

I also love that she's firm about her faith... and knows that it's important that if she's with a man she may likely marry, then he must be a committed Christian. However, she could have tried a different approach, rather than the ultimatum approach she employed.

*******
All in all, judging by the OP's response to her, he's not worth the troubles at alllllll.

See him calling himself a good man... and hurling insults because a girl simply stated the kind of man she wants.

AlexBells:

It not that simple, this is coming at a time that I'm not prepared at all, I just want peace

Forget peace, you can't change anybody that don't want to change. Think twice brother. Anybody that don't like your tribe don't like you

AlexBells:
I'm worried becuase at one point I even considered marrying her, but even if I begin to go to church, what happens to the identity of our children, becuase I know her parents must have been the one that thought her so much intolerance for the Igbos, to even think that she was born and raised in Nsukka. Bellow is the screenshot of her message and reply.

Please I need advice, I don't want anyone to judge her especially as regards her tribal sentiments on the Igbo, I understand it is what she had been fed while growing, shes a nice person generally.

You dont want her to be judged but you felt to tell us about her?

And you making excuses for her intolerance, going as far as to blame her parents leads me to believe you think your galfriend has no real mind of her own. You chose this woman for yourself so what advice do you infact seek from us here?

I am afraid she made her mind known here, even though in your OP you feign ignorance of this. Next time, try to only date a woman who you are in fact compatible with so you don't end up making a mockery of yourself as you did in your text message.

Kobojunkiee:
You dont want her to be judged but you felt to tell us about her?

And you making excuses for her intolerance, going as far as to blame her parents leads me to believe you think your galfriend has no real mind of her own. Let me ask you this then, what do you really want advice for since she is the type of woman you have chosen for yourself?

When I made that assertion, I was refering to marriage and our potential children, her life is her life and she's above 18, I'm concerned about our children which would be our responsibility until they at least turn 16, what would she instill in them, I said she should not be judged becuase, she may have her reasons for her perception and we would only judge her by our own perception,

I needed advice not her judgement, she's not the one seeking advice, I am the one as such I don't see how judging her would be helpful especially when she's not here to defend herself so I wished you adviced strictly on my account and not judging her becuase we definitely don't have enough case to judge her, but you can advise me becuase I seek it and given you my perception and fears, so think you can get it from here.

Kobojunkiee:
You dont want her to be judged but you felt to tell us about her?

And you making excuses for her intolerance, going as far as to blame her parents leads me to believe you think your galfriend has no real mind of her own. You chose this woman for yourself so what advice do you infact seek from us here?

I am afraid she made her mind known here, even though in your OP you feign ignorance of this. Next time, try to only date a woman who you are in fact compatible with so you don't end up making a mockery of yourself as you did in your text message.

Is this not the process of knowing if she's compatible with me, you can date who's not compatible but stop once you figure it out, I'm in that stage now I guess