₦airaland Forum

Written by Ike Chi-ukwu Eluigwe

Just like the tithe debate, another controversy is on. I do not think we should shy away from controversies and the debates they provoke. The Church grew on debates. Those who claim to seek truth must not be apprehensive before knowledge. As Christians, the Bible should be our ultimate source of Knowledge.

My take, from personal study as a Bible student groomed in the Assemblies of God Church tradition, is that the Bible did not outlaw polygamy. If today we say polygamy is sin, then it would be the first and only sin never condemned in the Bible -Earlier (Old) and Latter (New) Testaments. We even see God telling David He gave him WIVES and could have given him more rather than his going for Bathsheba (2 Samuel 12: 8 ) . We see God giving instruction that a first wife be not ignored when a second is being married -it was an opportunity to tell Israel not to marry more than one wife, rather God chose to regulate what happens in polygamy (Exodus 21:10) . We see God instructing that the first son, if from the first wife, must retain the rights of the first son, even if you marry another -it was an opportunity to tell Israel not to marry more than one wife, rather He chose to regulate what happens in polygamy (Deuteronomy 21:15-17) . We see God telling Israel men not to marry two sisters as wife -it was an opportunity to tell them not to marry more than one wife, rather He chose to describe the type of polygamy He allows (Leviticus 18:18). We see God instructing Israel kings not to marry so many wives; again, we see again God telling the kind of polygamy He approves rather than disown polygamy (Deuteronomy 17:17). King Solomon advised men to have several fountains (symbolic of wives), rather than patronize another man's fountain (Proverbs 5:15-18). We see God instructing Israel men to marry the widow of their late brother not minding if they were already married (Deuteronomy 25:5). In all these instances, God Himself was involved in polygamy. In the book of Ezekiel, God even painted Himself a polygamist -He was married to Aholah and Aholibah (symbolic of Samaria and Jerusalem -Ezekiel 23). Indeed, God CANNOT be said to be a sinner!

So, how did polygamy come to be seen as anathema in Christianity and in extension the Western world? Because of Paul's instructions to Bishops and deacons! (I Timothy 3:2,12; Titus 1:6) Why would Paul advocate monogamy for Church leaders? Because when you scrutinize the Earlier Testament, there is hardly any instance of polygamy without family rancor (But we should also observe that some of those rancor were not inherent in polygamy itself but was the result of how those involved conducted themselves. For instance, Jacob's decision to hate Leah and love Rachael introduced rancor. David's refusal to discipline his children when they misbehaved created dysfunctional individuals and a dysfunctional home). So, Paul who strove for an atmosphere of peace in the Church, Paul who desired leaders with peaceful homes they were in firm control of (1 Timothy 3:4), advocated monogamy for Church leaders.

Some have argued that this standard for the leaders is meant to be the standard of all... this is not true. It is like arguing that because Roman Catholic priests are celibate, celibacy should be the standard every Roman Catholic should aim for. It is like arguing that because the president of the nation has certain immunity to prosecution, every citizen should have same immunity. In every society, leaders have been saddled with some unique responsibilities which also come with unique privileges. Even in the Old Testament, priests were expected to marry only virgins (Leviticus 21:13); no one expected this from the rest of Israel. Kings were mandated to have a copy of the entire Scriptures (Deuteronomy 17:18); no such mandate was given to ordinary Israelites. So, monogamy is a 'burden' for Christian leaders; just like celibacy is for Roman Catholic leaders.

Some have argued that in the beginning, it was just one man and one wife -Adam and Eve- as a result, this should be the pattern. But in the beginning, God made them naked... should we also go about naked? In the beginning, God made them gardeners... should we all be gardeners too? In the beginning God placed them in a garden... are we wrong to live in cities? We can see that "God created them one man and one wife in the beginning" is not an argument to negate polygamy that we have seen God so involved in in Scripture.

Others would quickly quote "for this reason shall a man leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife and they two shall become one flesh" (Matthew 19:4). When they quote here, they are quick to show you that the Bible said "cleave to wife" and not 'wives'. On the surface, it seems to seal the argument for monogamy. However, Paul quoted the exact same Scripture in talking about sex -I mean sex- with prostitutes. "What? Don't you know that he who cleaves to a harlot has become one body with her? Because He said, 'two shall become one'" (1 Corinthians 6:16). Certainly, Paul was talking of sex with a prostitute; so, the cleaving the Bible talked about that brings about 'one flesh-ness' is nothing else but sex.
So, God was saying that a man having sex (coitus -inserting his penis into the vagina of his wife) makes them one flesh -just like you would couple two items as one using a screw and bolt. Sex (coitus) couples the man and his wife. We can now understand why Apostle Paul had to tell us that sex with any other person (in the case of his instance, a prostitute) also couples us with that person and makes us "one flesh" with that person. So, as the cleaving/joining that is meant in that Scripture has to do with sex (coitus -inserting the penis into the vagina of a woman), it is impossible for such sex to happen simultaneously with more than one woman. You cannot have your penis inserted into the vagina of more than one woman at a time! Therefore, it has to be "cleaving with wife, prostitute, woman... (all singular)" at every sex time.

So, this Scripture is not a negation of polygamy! It describes the sex between a couple; and not the limits of sex to a person... else, it would be impossible for a man to cleave to a prostitute and become one flesh with her after cleaving to his wife and becoming one flesh with her. Paul just told us, using a prostitute, that it is possible to cleave to several women and being one flesh with them all. So, that Scripture is not an argument against polygamy. We would then see that there is NO Scripture in the Latter (New) Testament, as there is non in the Earlier (Old) Testament, that is against polygamy!

So, what do I advocate? Polygamy rests on the same board like slavery and alcohol consumption. They are contentious issues, because there is no place in Scripture -Earlier Testament and Latter Testament- where they were condemned. So, wisdom becomes profitable to direct in dealing with these issues.

Polygamy has the potential to reduce our number of unmarried women. The women are more than the men; with monogamy, there will surely be women who will never marry even if all men were to marry. Secondly, polygamy has the potential to drastically reduce promiscuity -male and female. 'Free' women are often the goads to promiscuity. A 'scarcity' of men has bred what I will call the Stampede Effect over time; that is, some ladies being willing to do anything to secure a man. This 'anything' they are willing to do, over time, being seen as the standard of behavior by others who cannot tell how such behavior developed; just like people run in a stampede without even knowing why they are running. So, promiscuity spreads as a lifestyle because some decided to lower their moral guards if just to secure their own man.

But polygamy has its own potential for rancor in the home; just as was attested by the nearest kinsman redeemer of Ruth, who refused to marry Ruth lest his own present family be jeopardized (Ruth 4:6). Unfortunately, in our days, monogamous homes have not fared better. They have not been that haven of peace, bliss and romance many dream of when imagining themselves with just one partner.

Do not go for polygamy if you cannot fend for yourself or for one woman... most marital problems are financial. Financial crisis in a polygamous home can be explosive -you may never escape giving the impression of being partial, seeing that not everyone in the family will share in your lean resources. If you are not generous in heart towards everyone around you, don't go for polygamy even if you are financially well off; you will still exude that attitude in your home and create rivals. If you do not command respect as a person, don't go for polygamy. Your family are like followers -they should not struggle to follow your lead. If you fail to lead, leaders will emerge in your home that may just take the likeness of warlords struggling over territory. Finally, if you must directly be in Church leadership -especially as a Pastor- keep to Paul's advice... be monogamous.

The Whiteman preaches monogamy, but he is a serial divorcee and heartbreaker; who ends up with several women in his lifetime -leaving a trail of sorrow, bitterness and dysfunctional homes. A peaceful polygamous home, if achieved, is far much better for society than what the Whiteman practices. History attests to this! Our ladies' present disgust at the mention of the word polygamy is not an inborn response, it is the product of conditioning... a conditioning that is extra-biblical, that leaves them with an entitlement mindset to just one man. It should be seriously noted that ALL instances and references to adultery, in the Earlier and Latter Testaments of the Bible, are defined from the involvement of a married woman... what does that imply, a woman is not given the privilege of more than one husband; but the man may have wives. There are natural and Scriptural reason for this that this short piece wouldn't permit me to delve into.

I am a monogamist; but if Jacob or Boaz or David were to have come for any of my sisters, I would gladly have given them out . This piece is just to show that the Bible, at no time, condemned polygamy.
[Note, my views are not the views of the Assemblies of God Church.]


ADDENDUM

I just read someone respond to a post on polygamy by arguing with "Does nature not teach us?" In quoting this expression of the apostle Paul, he argued that the nature of women, which he said is against polygamy, should tell us that polygamy is wrong. This is a very bad argument! This very reasoning can be used to argue for polygamy; for another fellow could reason that the nature of men, which many say is pro polygamy, tells us that polygamy is right. In the end, we will neither be here nor there; so, the Bible should be our ultimate guide.

But can we look into nature and see if nature indeed has something to say for or against polygamy? By nature, I mean biology and not psychology -which can be a product of conditioning.

In nature, we see the intent of things; the intent of the creator. Nature intends procreation for EVERY act of sex! Why would we say so? A normal man ejaculates in EVERY act of sex; with each ejaculation come spermatozoa sent out for reproduction. So, the man comes ready to impregnate someone at every sex act. However, nature leaves with the woman a cycle; a cycle, with certain periods within -periods exclusive for conception. Outside these periods within the cycle, a woman CANNOT by nature get pregnant.
So, the question is: as nature is busy equipping the man EVERY minute with spermatozoa for reproduction, who is the sperm meant for at those times within her cycle the woman CANNOT get pregnant? Remember, nature does not waste! A man, at every moment, is producing spermatozoa for reproduction. Again, can those sperms indeed be intended for a woman who gets pregnant, and in the next nine months or more will NOT need the sperms? Remember, nature does not waste! Once more, at 45 years of age and above, menopause sets in for the woman; but the man, even up till 90 years of age, keeps producing spermatozoa for reproduction. So, who is nature preparing the man to impregnate if the woman with him has clocked menopause and cannot get pregnant -so, does not need the sperms? Remember, nature does not waste!

We can see, with overwhelming evidence, that nature DOES NOT intend one woman for a man, else it won't equip the man with a far reproductive capacity than one woman can ever take. Nature leaves with the woman times in her life when she cannot put to use spermatozoa; yet leaves with the man no time when he is not producing spermatozoa. Remember, nature does not waste; the excess spermatozoa cannot be intended for the woman who cannot use it. So, if we choose to go by what nature teaches, as the fellow argued, nature teaches polygamy.

Still on nature teaching! There is a phenomenon in nature I termed "The source and product relationship". One of the things you will identify in this relationship is that every source can have many products; but no product can have more than one source. God is our source; all creation are His products, but we products have Him as source. The earth is our source; the earth has many products, but none of us her products comes from earth and Mars, or earth and Jupiter, or earth and Neptune, or earth and whatever. A father could have many children, he is source; but no one, being the product of a father, can have two fathers. So, if the Bible tells us that the man is the source of the woman, we may now understand how all through the Bible the man who is source was allowed many products (wives) but the woman (product) was never allowed more than one man -a product CAN NEVER have more than one source. Was the woman not gotten from the man's ribs? How many ribs are there? One? Again, nature votes for polygamy!

So, however you look at it, both nature and Scripture have no problem with polygamy. Let us leave polygamy for what it is, a choice: and not on its own a sinful choice. Let us leave monogamy for what it is, a choice: and not on its own a holier choice.


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Why is it so long
The summary is God is still same yesterday today and forever
He said one man one wife
It's for ur benefit
Disobey at ur peril

It is long but educative.
I am still studying the narrative so... I don't have an answer yet... However, I am learning from both sides of the divide.

SanctifiedSista:
Why is it so long
The summary is God is still same yesterday today and forever
He said one man one wife
It's for ur benefit
Disobey at ur peril

The God of Abraham (the father of many nations and a polygamist is still the God of today...right?

It is not a command, nothing like disobey at your peril.

maiquel:
The God of Abraham (the father of many nations and a polygamist is still the God of today...right?

It is not a command, nothing like disobey at your peril.

But God didn't call anyone to doing as Abraham did. Men aren't God's standard held up against other men, so what sense is there in mentioning Abraham.

Christia

You try sha

maiquel:
The God of Abraham (the father of many nations and a polygamist is still the God of today...right?

It is not a command, nothing like disobey at your peril.

You did see that God stopped talking to Abraham and that Abraham noticed it and put away all his errors?

Dtruthspeaker:
You did see that God stopped talking to Abraham and that Abraham noticed it and put away all his errors?

I didn't see that.

Dtruthspeaker:
You did see that God stopped talking to Abraham and that Abraham noticed it and put away all his errors?

What errors? Didn't same God give David more wives?

When do you tell lies like this after all we have discussed?

You know the truth! Your moniker even claims you are of the truth but you didn't speak the truth here. I know you were on one/more of my threads below.

Read More post on the allowance of Polygamy in the Bible on Nairaland.

1. If He Marries Another Woman..

https://www.nairaland.com/7032447/he-marries-another-woman

2. God Said He GAVE Wives (not A Wife)

https://www.nairaland.com/7029702/god-said-he-gave-wives

3. The Context Is DIVORCE NOT POLYGAMY

https://www.nairaland.com/7032858/context-divorce-not-polygamy

4. Jesus Used A Parable That Includes Polygamy

https://www.nairaland.com/7029727/jesus-used-parable-includes-polygamy

5. Polygamy In Christianity- (one Flesh)

https://www.nairaland.com/7029678/polygamy-christianity-one-flesh

6. Why Did Yahweh Support Polygamy?

https://www.nairaland.com/6093345/why-did-yahweh-support-polygamy

cc: SanctifiedSista, JohnNgene, maiquel

Kobojunkie:
But God didn't call anyone to doing as Abraham did. Men aren't God's standard held up against other men, so what sense is there in mentioning Abraham.

Abraham is part of the law and Prophets which Jesus did not abolish in Matt 5:17.

Abraham had two wives!

David had more. God even gave David more wives! God then said David was perfect except in the case of Uriah.

So David marrying many wives was part the things he did right in the eyes of the LORD!

For David had done what was right in the eyes of the LORD and had not turned aside from anything the LORD commanded all the days of his life, except in the matter of Uriah the Hittite. 1 Kings 15:5

AntiChristian:
What errors? Didn't same God give David more wives?

When do you tell lies like this after all we have discussed?

You know the truth! Your moniker even claims you are of the truth but you didn't speak the truth here. I know you were on one/more of my threads below.

Read More post on the allowance of Polygamy in the Bible on Nairaland.

1. If He Marries Another Woman..

https://www.nairaland.com/7032447/he-marries-another-woman

2. God Said He GAVE Wives (not A Wife)

https://www.nairaland.com/7029702/god-said-he-gave-wives

3. The Context Is DIVORCE NOT POLYGAMY

https://www.nairaland.com/7032858/context-divorce-not-polygamy

4. Jesus Used A Parable That Includes Polygamy

https://www.nairaland.com/7029727/jesus-used-parable-includes-polygamy

5. Polygamy In Christianity- (one Flesh)

https://www.nairaland.com/7029678/polygamy-christianity-one-flesh

6. Why Did Yahweh Support Polygamy?

https://www.nairaland.com/6093345/why-did-yahweh-support-polygamy

cc: SanctifiedSista, JohnNgene, maiquel

I hope u won't mind wen ur sins are also listed like this and a special welcome package is prepared for u in hell... [center]

SanctifiedSista:
I hope u won't mind wen ur sins are also listed like this and a special welcome package is prepared for u in hell... [center]

Are you the gatekeeper of hell? Or have you being to heaven and come back to tell the story?

Take me on on any of the threads. Face the topic.

Leave the matters of the unseen to God.

SanctifiedSista:
I hope u won't mind wen ur sins are also listed like this and a special welcome package is prepared for u in hell... [center]

Sista, I believe you can make your point without threatening me with hell cos monogamy is not a measure for who will enter into heaven either.

AntiChristian:
Abraham is part of the law and Prophets which Jesus did not abolish in Matt 5:17.

Abraham had two wives!

David had more. God even gave David more wives! God then said David was perfect except in the case of Uriah.

So David marrying many wives was part the things he did right in the eyes of the LORD!

For David had done what was right in the eyes of the LORD and had not turned aside from anything the LORD commanded all the days of his life, except in the matter of Uriah the Hittite. 1 Kings 15:5

Abraham was not part of any of God's Law. He was instead a man who a promise was given to, not a part of God's Law or Truth

Kobojunkie:
Abraham was not part of any of God's Law. He was instead a man who a promise was given to, not a part of God's Law or Truth

You had to remove "Prophet" and leave only "law". So it is useless for him to be the father of faith aka the father of all those who believe.

You were not like this before.

AntiChristian:
You had to remove "Prophet" and leave only "law". So it is useless for him to be the father of faith aka the father of all those who believe.

You were not like this before.

I have no clue what the above even means.

Again, Abraham was not part of any of God's Law. He was instead a man who a promise was given to. If you don't understand what God's Law refers to, ask.

No human is God's Law, not even Abraham, and no, Abraham is NOT the father of faith. You first needs to understand what faith is to realize this, I guess.

Kobojunkie:
I have no clue what the above even means.

Again, Abraham was not part of any of God's Law. He was instead a man who a promise was given to. If you don't understand what God's Law refers to, ask.

No human is God's Law, not even Abraham, and no, Abraham is NOT the father of faith. You first needs to understand what faith is to realize this, I guess.

Was Abraham not a Prophet?

Did i not write Law & Prophet below?

AntiChristian:
Was Abraham not a Prophet?

Did i not write Law & Prophet below?

Pay close attention to what you read!

The Law is not the Prophets neither the Prophets the Law.

Again, Abraham was not part of any of God's Law. He was instead a man who a promise was given to. If you don't understand what God's Law refers to, ask.

No human is God's Law, not even Abraham, and no, Abraham is NOT the father of faith. You first needs to understand what faith is to realize this, I guess.

AntiChristian:
What errors? Didn't same God give David more wives?

1) See yourself, my Answer was on Abraham and now you have shifted to David.

2) Did I ever say that I was not on your threads?

You already know my stand and we know you are looking for every way to justify your desire that God permits the possession of wives because you did not see Him punish Lamech, the first man to break this Law, forgetting that we see that He did not punish his grandfather Cain, the first murderer also. YET MURDER IS PROHIBITED BY LAW.

maiquel:
I didn't see that.

Go read the story of Abraham, you would see that after Sarah died, God never spoke to him and he must noticed it for we see him put away the wives before his death.

maiquel:
Sista, I believe you can make your point without threatening me with hell cos monogamy is not a measure for who will enter into heaven either.

But certainly law breaking disqualifies a person from entering God's Kingdom.

Dtruthspeaker:
But certainly law breaking disqualifies a person from entering God's Kingdom.

That's the thing. What law is broken when you marry two wives?

Dtruthspeaker:
Go read the story of Abraham, you would see that after Sarah died, God never spoke to him and he must noticed it for we see him put away the wives before his death.

Okay, I'll study it for a bit and come back to you....

Understand that this is not for the sake of argument, it is more about learning than proving a point.

Thanks.

maiquel:
Okay, I'll study it for a bit and come back to you....

Understand that this is not for the sake of argument, it is more about learning than proving a point.

Thanks.

Respectfully, the essence of an argument is for the TRUTH to be raised up from the lies and untruths which is popular so that those seeking The Truth would be properly guided.

maiquel:
That's the thing. What law is broken when you marry two wives?

The Law of "Male and female made He them".

Not male and females or any man "and his wives".

Go check it out, you would see that everytime the Bible speaks on marriage you see "the man and his wife". No man and his wives at all.