₦airaland Forum

civboy:
I am in my 20s too and yes, it is really hard and I have a lot of worries, bad news, burdens, stress and chaos in my life to manage. But let me share what helps me stay afloat, as it comes to mind, with no particular order:
- cut out everything that drains your time, energy and money but doesn't improve your life. If it costs you time, money or energy and after you are done, you don't have more money or at least a feeling of happiness or rest, then it shouldn't be in your life. For me, I had to cut out porn, masturbation, flirting, hookups, some people, eating too much, spending too much time on social media, debating with people who aren't rational and a bunch of bad habits like sleeping late, etc... Of course, sometimes you will desire these things, but find pleasures that benefit you better like intense sport or reading things that interest you. Some things, you can do without them so just cut them out, TV, netflix, instagram, watching soccer and whatever, celebrity news and gossips, etc... I often see it wasting the time of many friends and mates.
- don't waste time thinking that you have to find your "calling", destiny or stuff like this, or even the will of God for your life if you are religious. Ask a lot of successful or old people, you will see that none of them succeeded by looking for that kind of things. They all started by doing excellently what was in front of them, and looking for important things to do or learn, and opportunities to seize, and then harwork, excellence and a lot of luck brought them to success. So get out of your head, stop making plan after plan, start practically looking for the best things you can do right now and get busy doing them, and if you keep doing the best things excellently, and if luck comes your way (don't worry since you cannot control that part), then eventually you will succeed.
- when you get bad news or a problem pops up in your life, give yourself time to digest your emotions first, maybe a whole afternoon, an entire day or a week. And then when the time to cry and complain is over, sit down and start looking for solutions and help. Think and do, think and do again, think and do again, never think a lot to never do anything and never rush to do whatever without thinking first, do both and be brave to accept whatever result life will give you. Do your best and accept the rest; that's the only thing you can do, learn to be okay with that.
- prioritize money; as you grow older, you will have time to figure out religion, healthcare, relationships, intellectual interests, politics, your mission on earth, your hobbies and whatever but start with money, dedicate 8 to 12 hours everyday for hustle, a fourth of the time to learn about making and securing money and the three fourths to actually work and make money. If you are financially stable in your 30s, you will see that everything else will fall into place more easily. We grew in a culture where money was a taboo and we weren't taught how important it is.
I have been living by these principles for some time and it makes a great difference. Worries decrease when you are not sabotaging your own life, when you are busy trying to progress and when you allow a time to grieve for your problems and then focus on tackling them and learn to accept the results, knowing that you did your part.

ILEMUDA:
Thank you so much, but how do I start??
Who's gonna teach me any of those skills you mentioned??
That's my only problem now, I need mentorship.

ILEMUDA:
Thank you so much, but how do I start??
Who's gonna teach me any of those skills you mentioned??
That's my only problem now, I need mentorship.

annayawchee:
20s....

Damn it's bleeping hectic, depressing, frustrating.

In my mid 20s but I've been struggling with each and every moment of this 20s.

It's worse when you got no platform to start from.

You are shouldered with the responsibility of figuring it all out by yourself...

Now I know why many commit suicide.

chymdyx:
Brah!!! I totally get your point!! Totally!!
I'm approaching 29 now, and looking back, there are things I wish I knew before!!!

The worst part is tryna figure it out on ur own!! Someday, you are just clueless as to which way forward!!

But now, I think I figured it out!!

Depending on where you are right now..the best thing you can do for your self, is learn an online skill, for absolutely free, then with that skill, you go and earn money in dollars!!!

Its really as simple as it sounds!!
The only thing it'll take is time! Maybe a year or 2.

But trust me, it is better than wasting 5years , heading no where!!

Solofresh2:
Am in my early 20s and am the bread winner of my family at the moment.I send myself to school, I sponsor my younger brother in secondary school,I send money to my mom monthly,I bought a land already.Am schooling and working presently
Determination and discipline is the key.
I know one day, I will get the be life I have always dreamed about.So help me God

Yampotatocarrot:
- Start investing, no matter how small. Most times, the worries surround money making, so look for businesses that'll give returns, no matter how small... If you have 5 businesses giving you 1k everyday, aside your normal salaried job, your worries will reduce to a large extent.

- Have less friends. This way, you don't have to be comparing yourself to your friends or monitoring their lives like an evil spirit. Relate with those who have achieved more than you.

- Very important, believe in someone or something. Have a belief in a supernatural power

- "My opinion", don't go into a relationship. If you feel you must, go into one with a working class lady and tell her ahead that you don't have cash to spend on her. If she gree, she go stay, if she no gree, make she waka.

- Mentor young ones. Teach them how you're making it. Let them share their problems with you and help out where possible. You'll be surprised what you can learn from them.

- Finally, follow who know road, no matter age... Never look down on others

blingxx:
Females don't have a place in this thread it's either they survive through their parents , bf or sugardaddy , one was even taxing me yesterday she even get many bfs that I know of

Danyyyyyyyyyyy:
Lol okay He should just be single

at 20 ??a working class lady ? that he won't spend on ? c'mon
Donate your sister or just direct him to the nearest sugar Mommy
There's no such thing as a relationship where you won't spend money , that's bad advice

I don't support guys that young being in relationships or girls in their teens being in relationships, it's going to be the first mistake you make and it's the first and worst mistake I made

Or if you're one of those people who grow faster than your age , in your reasoning and feel ready to nurture or try out relationships , it's better to date older people coz younger people both boys and girls don't know what they want at that age

If I had my way I'd be single till I was 25 but I don't have my way , I watch too many love movies and I also want my own , everybody does

Yampotatocarrot:
Lol @ donate my sister or direct him to sugar mummy. If you read it well, you'll see my opinion was that he shouldn't go into a relationship, except he's like you who watch too much love movies.

Your write up is quite muddled up. Are you saying he should stay single or go into a relationship. The sarcasm in your first line and your last paragraph are contradictory

Danyyyyyyyyyyy:
I'm sure if you've had a girlfriend once you'll understand that it would be impossible to harbor a relationship with no give and take , even a friendship involves give and take
So your initial advice concerning date a working class independent lady and don't give her nothing if she likes she can go , is really bad advice , drop it

Yampotatocarrot:
Well, it'll be wrong to generalise. Our experiences differ. In all the relationships I've had, I've never had to give the lady anything. The highest I gave was a framed picture. Aside that, nothing like sending money to her or buying gifts, NOT AT ALL

That's why I said experiences differ. In all my relationships also, the ladies were actually the ones spending, plus I didn't even visit any of their houses.

So, brother, don't generalise. There are ladies out there wey no send your money or spending o

So the discussion doesn't extend and to avoid back and forth, let's agree to disagree. All your assertions are correct while I'm wrong.
Thanks

Danyyyyyyyyyyy:
And are you married now?
Or are you just not ready yet
I'm not a psychic , but something's telling me you're single ( just like me ) , am I wrong??

If you was really getting that quality relationship you wouldn't even be here typing about don't give em nothing , look for a happily married men and tell him what you typed here and see what they have to say , I don't mean broken down husbands , I mean HAPPILY married men

if it was working out fine I expect that you should've settled down by now , or at least be in a serious relationship , but if you were married or had a girlfriend RIGHT NOW you would've been informed
None of the ladies you dated in the past were happy with you, go and ask them , I dare you
Maybe it's time you face your fears and askyour exes how they really feel about you ?
It'll hurt but that's good pain , I think you're not trying to be bad , you just didn't know you were doing anything wrong ,they probably just broke up and didn't say a word to you or they gave you an epistle of rant with no head and tail ( I did that alot sadly)
But honestly ask your exes what they really think of you and how they felt being in a relationship with you and if you have a girl right now ask her too
You'll be fine don't worry

ILEMUDA:
Thank you so much, but how do I start??
Who's gonna teach me any of those skills you mentioned??
That's my only problem now, I need mentorship.

mrdino:
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Steve Covey

Eat that Frog by Brian Tracy

Make sure these two books are among the books you read, they will help shape your future.