₦airaland Forum

Op wan monopolise the pussy cat.

Single men out there learn from this one oooo baba dey bang on a steady why the girl dey build her relationship with a suitor.

She's 30+ and soon to get the ring, lord help that brother man.

Wetin man no go see for this life

This life sha

NLElder:
Surely! Thanks

Let her go my brother, let her go. That experience was part of life. I'm glad you both had a good time while it lasted. Time to move on.

[quote author=NLElder post=113204471]I'm written a book about new age polygamy. I'll give you a copy when it's out, you should read it. We are already practicing polygamy but we are not ready to discuss it. You made a mistake not marrying that lady officially, God will bring another woman to your life. This life is too short. You can marry another wife , tell your current wife about it and set good plan on how to manage this without issue. The world is still coming back to embrace polygamy but your own time must have passed but you can do yourself a favor by living in the future

Your selfishness as a man is showing. Your wife has fgm and doesn't get to enjoy one of life's primal pleasures but somehow, in your mind, it is the man that's worse off for it. Not the poor woman who needs extra care to partake in something that most takes for granted. But you, the man.
Something is seriously wrong with you. On a very fundamental level. I'm sure if your wife came to you with a story like yours, you'll demand her head to appease you. Mind you, she can enjoy sex too with the right person who understands female anatomy and knows his way around it. Heck, even the right woman could rock her world if she's lucky to meet one.
That secret you're carrying will soon wreck your health. What the mind stores, the body keeps score of. Watch as your mental health deteriorates and your body in tandem.

Tell your wife the truth. I hope she divorces you and get time to heal. If she decides to stick it out, I hope you two go for counseling and then you in particular go for sexual counseling too. Get to learn about how to make love the right way. The right way varies for different people because each person is unique. Most importantly, you two just must make compromises. I hate long distance marriages, even more than long distance relationships. The ones that work are the exceptions. Too often, something goes wrong.

As for that homely lady, let's hope she mends her ways too because if she could do all that with you knowing you were married, it's only a matter of time. The hypocrisy of the replies here were too glaring. A woman would have been crucified here for far less. Start by telling your wife the truth. Take whatever comes. But I'm really hoping she divorces you and gets herself a good g- spot vibrator. That seems to be better than a treacherous sniveling cheat swine of a husband.

Divide the number of years you dated her by two, that's how long Psychology says it would take to get over her. Please, I beg you, that lady is over 30! I commend her for not roping you with pregnancy....she seems to have a good heart; let her go! In the equation, you're the most selfish. It is time to prove you have a heart....let it go!

NLElder:
I have moved on too. I only want tbe obsession with her to end too. It's now like punishment. And I have my wife, yes, but how many percent of the te do I have her?

who said u cant marry two wives,al u need do is persuade your wife. U r now fellin bad for leavin somtn so dear to u. I tink d islamic religion on mariage is more sensible

You need to forget everything bout her and move on with your life, embrace your wife and family.

I hate that word, "simp" but you are the perfect definition of the word. A so called alphamale who cheats on his wife will know that love is not part of the deal but you simps, just two or three back thrust and you have fallen in love yakata with your side chic.

You saying she was a well brought up girl that had values shows you are not very smart in the ways of the world. Well brought up Kee you there. Well brought that moved in with a married man for two years and is engaged but collecting dciks from a married man.. Values indeed. Your gullibility is on steroids. No wonder you are falling in love with your side chic.

The girl was poor and even though she was 30 and knew the relationship wouldn't lead to marriage, she nonetheless didn't give a flip cos she NEEDED you to take care of her financial needs. She knew what she was doing ALL ALONG when she offered to come and cook and clean and sleep in the house of a married man.

She was NOT in love with you, don't be silly. You were just a means to an end. She needed you to SURVIVE. The monthly stipends and the roof over her head and the other financial help including her mum's hospital bill were very vital at that point in her life. You think say she for send your papa yansh if you weren't doing all that?

A woman that is in love mostly becomes TOTALLY FOOLISH cos they are emotional. She would have stupidly stayed with you and be disgusted with the touch of another man. That's how women are wired. That's why some side chic never marry cos they fell in love with thier Aristo. Women don't easily move on if they are TRULY in love even if the man panel beats them with plenty beating twice a week, they will still blindly stay and make excuses for him. She left your ass cos she was done using you and needed to upgrade her life. You are still busy taking your own life backwards..

You better wake up from your foolishness and move on before you do something that will ruin your life. If not, you will continue seeing her take pictures with her husband and kids while you would have lost your own family.

Men do not cheat with emotions indeed…

I wanted to blame you but who knows what your wife has been doing too in her place of work.
Secondly,allow the single lady to go her own way and don't try and bring marriage into this, didn't you enjoy it while it lasted?

If you should Mary such a lady,it's 100% sure that she will give her body freely to one of her Ex's without remorse just like she is giving her body to you back to back while still engaged with that guy.

Thirdly, you're not wise for having hatred towards a guy who didn't even know you guys are dating.
It will be your greatest undoing if you should enter the lady when you know she's with someone else.

How will you feel when you know that someone somewhere is doing same to your wife?

NLElder:
First of all don't be quick to judge me. I am just here for matured help/advice cos I am fast loosing it. I am sure if it's abroad I will to told to go meet a therapist.

I am a young man in my early 40s and married for 9 years now with 2 kids. My nature of work is such that I am living on another town 5hours away from my family. This has been the case 6years out of the 9 years I am married. I have never really enjoyed my marriage as a young man cos I am always driving up and down every weekend to meet my family and when I got a promotion with more responsibility I reduced it to every 2 weeks, and as the stress of work and driving became more stressful, I now go every month. I have tried all my best even till date to see if I can get another work in the same state my wife and kids reside to no avail and my wife can't leave her work in the state join me as she is in a federal government establishment that has no branch in the state I live and work. The scenario so far shows you that I am not enjoying a healthy sex life with my wife, but being someone brought up to respect the marriage institution, I have resigned to my fate and taken life as I have seen it. To make matters worse, with due respect to my wife, she suffered female genital mutilation and you know it affects women's sex life and their man is always worse off for it. In summary we lead a routine boring sex life in the few occasions we even get to have it. However, the 6 years I have lived and worked in another state, I have never cheated or thought of cheating on her despite all the cold lonely nights I have to spend alone. I am a kind of introvert and never hide it from people that I am married. Some will be like "u no get side chick"? I will say no. The problem started 4 years earlier out of the 6years in the city I live and work. Since I am always lonely and bored in my crib, I mostly do video calls with my wife and kids daily or chat online with friends to keep my mind busy and avoid unnecessary tensions that will remind me of the lonely boring life I was living. This also keeps me away from sexual urges if I feel any as a fool-blooded young man I was. It was in one of these online chats that I got close to one young lady of about 30. We really got close through chatting and graduated to exchanging numbers. I always make it known that I was married to everyone I meet and she was no exception. We became best friends online and kept our limits as married man and a single lady would. We became curious and excited to meet each other live when we found out we were in same city.

We arranged a harmless date in a restaurant in town were we really got to know more about each other. I found out that she was a struggling young girl teaching in a private school with NCE and was unable to proceed to degree level due to lack of funds. Her salary wasn't even up to 18k and she was squatting with one lady in very uncomfortable circumstances. After that 1st live meeting, a very good friendship ensued but entirely platonic .

All these past 4 years before I met her, I cook for myself and go to market by myself. One Friday she called and I did not immediately pick cos I was in the kitchen. I called her back later and told her I was cooking and she jokingly asked if she could help. As at then she was yet to come to my place, so I told her if she really wanted to help then I would come and pick her up and that was how for the first time in 4 years, a lady visited me in that town. It felt awkward. It did not take long for me to find out how homely she was...washed plates, tidied everywhere, and finished up the cooking. I really felt at peace and started getting worried at the same time. We spent time chatting but kept our distance and nothing happened between us and I dropped her off later where she was squatting.

After that, our friendship went to another level and the visits became more frequent but still nothing happened between us. I got to know she was a well brought up lady that still had values and I also confirmed she had no man as at the time she met me. She said she had always wished to be married before now and never believed she would reach 30 and still be single.

I know my story is getting rather long, so let me try to wrap up. In summary, she started having issues with the family she was squatting with and didn't have enough money to rent a place of her own. I didn't have enough to rent for her either as I was already carrying a lot of financial responsibilities for her by then...monthly stipend of ₦10k to add to her salary, tolletries, making hairs and even helping out with her sick mum hospital bills. So without a 2nd thought, both of us decided she move into my place. Inside me I knew it was somehow but I think by then we were already in love with each but maybe living in denial.

So she moved in and that was it. Yes, we started having sex, uncomfortably at 1st but later became 2 sex maniacs. It was as if she was sent to compensate me for my horrible marriage sex experience I have endured all these years. We couldn't have enough of each other. In fact when I want to travel and see my family, she breaks down crying. I knew it was more than a side chick matter. In fact this lady gave me a fulfilled sex life that I swear if it's in the olden days I wouldn't mind taking her as a 2nd wife. Months grew into years and our passion for each other grew to the point that we got jealous of the opposite sex calling us. She even starts frowning when my wife calls or tears will start running down her eyes. People, I became so confused. We both knew we have gone too far and yet were not ready to end it. I even because part of her own family cos I go with her to see her sick mum and played a prominent role when she died. I don't know her older siblings knew if I was married or not , but I think she confided in her older sister who seemed to like me so much and only warned her to be "careful."

After 2 years, she started agitating about marriage so much that she said she needed to move out of my place. That as long as she is with me, she might not get married since it's obvious I wasn't going to marry her no matter how much both of us pretended about it. Deep inside me I knew she was right and I couldn't be selfish to keep her from meeting single suitors but I felt an inexplicable pain in my heart as if a part of me was about to be cut off. However, I forced myself to assist her to get a place and yet she on her own kept coming to my place every weekend until she moved in again leaving her place wasting for over 2 months., only going there once in a while to pick things..

All the 2 years we were together she was open and truthful to me about relationships she was now trying to build with single guys she hoped would marry her. I was already feeling bad inside me that she was about to leave my life, but she kept assuring me that she was with me and truly told me everything happeneing in the new relationship she was building.

She later moved out completely from my place after 2years on a new year day. She said needed to start the year on a good and clean note and had gotten serious with the guy that said he wants to marry her. I began to feel extreme jealous I couldn't explain. I knew it was not right but I couldn't stop myself. I tried my best and stopped calling or chatting with her but I still didn't find peace. One evening a month after when it was now clear that she has decided to get serious with the guy she said was coming for marriage, she visited me and and you can't believe it, we made hot passionate love. And when we were lying side by side, her new man called and she quickly ran into the toilet to answer him. I felt it was time I ended this whole thing, it wasn't looking right again. So I confronted her why she was still leading me on when she is now in a marriage -bound relationship and she said because she still loves me and doesn't know how to let go of me. We cried together that it wiould be tough as we would soon separate from each other for life and she left. I cried like a baby as we made love again and she consoling me to try and teach my wife the things she does to me despite her FGM predicament.

The period she was with me, she was uncomfortable answering calls from her man and I got fed up and decided to investigate. So I went to the street where she showed me the guy lives(she was truly open to me and I give her that) and waited to see if she has started visiting him as she mostly denies and lo and behold, I saw her entering the guy's house. I felt a sharp pang of jealousy which I couldn't control. I picked up my phone after some minutes and started calling her, but her phone rang severally and she didn't pick. I was almost half-dead with jealousy. I cried iny heart and drove away. I sent her a text that because she was "enjoying" herself with her man she was now avoiding my calls. That maybe tbe guy was so good at it. She called about 2 hours later and really took offence that because she visited him and did not pick my call was simply because she doesn't want him to start asking questions and not necessarily that they were doing anything. We quarrelled like never before and said hurtful things to each other and I asked her to return my key at my office the next day cos by then she no longer visited my house as she has really gotten serious with the guy. She returned the key and for over 2 months we stopped communicating and became strangers.

Instead of pushing her out my mind, I felt a daily torture looking through her Facebook pics, WhatsApp status, and other social media. I will go to her guy's street and painfully watch her enter his house from afar. I was fast losing my mind. I knew it was over for good and don't want her back but the obsession is yet to leave me till date. Everyday, I check her pictures and feels pangs of pain and jealousy as I see her lovely smiles. My people it's punishment and torture for me. I keep obsessing every second of my life about her. Who can help me? Something is definitely wrong. In one of her recent status, I saw her flaunt her hands with an engagement ring and I felt a sharp pang of sadness instead of happiness. People help me I am loosing it. Even though she has apologized to me and I too have apologized for the hurtful things we said in the course of our quarrel, my mind is still not at peace. Even now presently she is engaged she still calls me and tries to engage me in friendly conversations but I will just be answering without interest. She even sent me a pic recently at a wedding she went to and I told her she should stop sending me her pics but should be sending to her man. She apologized and said she has taken note. Yet, I will feel bad inside me if I don't see her friendly chats which my attitude has made her reduce. Yet in all these, first thing in the morning I will quickly rush to check her pics, if she has made new posts, etc etc. I need help, I really do. Sorry my people for the long post but I really needed to empty myself to see the help I can get if any cos I want my normal sane life back. I have also prayed to God and asked for forgiveness for cheating on my wife ....I have no excuses for doing so but from the long story you can see it was never my intention.

Damn. I finally made it but are you sure you have work at all?

You are a fool! Infact you deserved to be slapped. Nothing but pure lost and adultery

Yes, that's good
Tell her to stop sending u her picture even if she send it don't check it, that won't help you at all n limit the time u guys chat... Normal greeting will do, focus more of ur attention on work... With time everything is going to go back to normal.... And yeah, keep a distance even if she said she want to come n visit u tell her u aint around.
Be happy don't let one stupid emotions weight u down .

NLElder:
Thanks for not being judgemental. I have tried out your advice of putting some dirt on her by telling her she was just using me to hold on and get what she wants(which I knew wasn't true). This was part of what led to our big misunderstanding and quarrel which finally ended the whole thing officially. I later sent her voice notes of apology and wished her well in her upcoming marriage and totally stopped communicating with her. She too apologized and went an extra mile to start chatting and calling occasionally and sending me pics and other things which I told her should be limited now that is over between us. She just doesn't seem to make me an enemy on her journey of life. We have moved on truly, but what I need to stop is this obsession and strange jealousy of her fast approaching marriage.


quote author=Sweetvie post=113205970]Wow

M speechless
You av to move on, she already did
Everything is just infatuation, obsession, and lust and maybe love... Am confuse sef
I think you missed avin ur wife wit you...
You need to put some dirt on her in your mind, forget abt her good part mayb you can move on...
And your marriage, i think ur wife need to give up on her job to move in with you... Help her find a job in that state. She need to remember you're married you can't live like a single guy.

To take ur mind off her only time will tell

this Op is the @RealYorubaDemon

Delete all her memories from your phone, block her on every areas. Block all her numbers and social media handles and take up a new hobby. Just get yourself distracted for now
You will be fine and alright

Sorry this 8s touching

My own is imagine your wife doing all this rubbish you are doing right now. How would you feel?? The pain you will feel seeing your wife throwing herself at another man as you are doing right now with the lady, should be enough for you to kill whatever feeling you have for the other lady. Atleast you have explored and enjoyed yourself with her. So if you are not a devil and selfish being, allow her to go

I hope your children turn out to not be yours. Maybe then you'll understand the level of wickedness you've portrayed in this story you just shared.

Haba, but why are some men this heartless? I can imagine the kind of comments I would have been reading here if this was coming from a woman. People are telling you to move on, move on to your karma.

This is painful

NLElder:
Get her pregnant? We are not visiting each other again. I have let her be It's just my obsessing about her left and which is what I need help about.

Honestly op,I think it's better that you ended it.
People up there criticizing and insulting you, didn't put themselves in your shoes .That's is how humans behave ,always quick to criticize others despite having their own flaws.

I think the break is a blessing in disguise ,try use this opportunity to get closer to your wife and kids.
They will help you in getting your mind off her,break every communication with her ,at least for now untill you are sure you have gotten over her.
It's going to be hard ,but trust me the pain you will feel if you loss your wife and kids over this would be devastating compared to losing her.

I don't know if I am the only one who thinks women move on easily because they do not give commitments like men do in relationships.

Besides, OP you never realized you were her tool when you were busy taking up her responsibilities when you knew the future of the relationship was bleak.

Just one word
*Since you have no plans to take her as a second wife, Direct your focus to your wife and kids and leave the lady alone man!!!

Nothing stops you from wifing her or is there any religion that frowns at polygamy? With the way you are going, you both will commit adultery even after her marriage, she’s not over you yet else she won’t continue sending you her pictures.

Bros u aren't serious,i pity ur wife and even the guy that wants 2 marry this babe but sha nobody is perfect...just move on.

I just dont know what to say

NLElder:
First of all don't be quick to judge me. I am just here for matured help/advice cos I am fast loosing it. I am sure if it's abroad I will to told to go meet a therapist.

I am a young man in my early 40s and married for 9 years now with 2 kids. My nature of work is such that I am living on another town 5hours away from my family. This has been the case 6years out of the 9 years I am married. I have never really enjoyed my marriage as a young man cos I am always driving up and down every weekend to meet my family and when I got a promotion with more responsibility I reduced it to every 2 weeks, and as the stress of work and driving became more stressful, I now go every month. I have tried all my best even till date to see if I can get another work in the same state my wife and kids reside to no avail and my wife can't leave her work in the state join me as she is in a federal government establishment that has no branch in the state I live and work. The scenario so far shows you that I am not enjoying a healthy sex life with my wife, but being someone brought up to respect the marriage institution, I have resigned to my fate and taken life as I have seen it. To make matters worse, with due respect to my wife, she suffered female genital mutilation and you know it affects women's sex life and their man is always worse off for it. In summary we lead a routine boring sex life in the few occasions we even get to have it. However, the 6 years I have lived and worked in another state, I have never cheated or thought of cheating on her despite all the cold lonely nights I have to spend alone. I am a kind of introvert and never hide it from people that I am married. Some will be like "u no get side chick"? I will say no. The problem started 4 years earlier out of the 6years in the city I live and work. Since I am always lonely and bored in my crib, I mostly do video calls with my wife and kids daily or chat online with friends to keep my mind busy and avoid unnecessary tensions that will remind me of the lonely boring life I was living. This also keeps me away from sexual urges if I feel any as a fool-blooded young man I was. It was in one of these online chats that I got close to one young lady of about 30. We really got close through chatting and graduated to exchanging numbers. I always make it known that I was married to everyone I meet and she was no exception. We became best friends online and kept our limits as married man and a single lady would. We became curious and excited to meet each other live when we found out we were in same city.

We arranged a harmless date in a restaurant in town were we really got to know more about each other. I found out that she was a struggling young girl teaching in a private school with NCE and was unable to proceed to degree level due to lack of funds. Her salary wasn't even up to 18k and she was squatting with one lady in very uncomfortable circumstances. After that 1st live meeting, a very good friendship ensued but entirely platonic .

All these past 4 years before I met her, I cook for myself and go to market by myself. One Friday she called and I did not immediately pick cos I was in the kitchen. I called her back later and told her I was cooking and she jokingly asked if she could help. As at then she was yet to come to my place, so I told her if she really wanted to help then I would come and pick her up and that was how for the first time in 4 years, a lady visited me in that town. It felt awkward. It did not take long for me to find out how homely she was...washed plates, tidied everywhere, and finished up the cooking. I really felt at peace and started getting worried at the same time. We spent time chatting but kept our distance and nothing happened between us and I dropped her off later where she was squatting.

After that, our friendship went to another level and the visits became more frequent but still nothing happened between us. I got to know she was a well brought up lady that still had values and I also confirmed she had no man as at the time she met me. She said she had always wished to be married before now and never believed she would reach 30 and still be single.

I know my story is getting rather long, so let me try to wrap up. In summary, she started having issues with the family she was squatting with and didn't have enough money to rent a place of her own. I didn't have enough to rent for her either as I was already carrying a lot of financial responsibilities for her by then...monthly stipend of ₦10k to add to her salary, tolletries, making hairs and even helping out with her sick mum hospital bills. So without a 2nd thought, both of us decided she move into my place. Inside me I knew it was somehow but I think by then we were already in love with each but maybe living in denial.

So she moved in and that was it. Yes, we started having sex, uncomfortably at 1st but later became 2 sex maniacs. It was as if she was sent to compensate me for my horrible marriage sex experience I have endured all these years. We couldn't have enough of each other. In fact when I want to travel and see my family, she breaks down crying. I knew it was more than a side chick matter. In fact this lady gave me a fulfilled sex life that I swear if it's in the olden days I wouldn't mind taking her as a 2nd wife. Months grew into years and our passion for each other grew to the point that we got jealous of the opposite sex calling us. She even starts frowning when my wife calls or tears will start running down her eyes. People, I became so confused. We both knew we have gone too far and yet were not ready to end it. I even because part of her own family cos I go with her to see her sick mum and played a prominent role when she died. I don't know her older siblings knew if I was married or not , but I think she confided in her older sister who seemed to like me so much and only warned her to be "careful."

After 2 years, she started agitating about marriage so much that she said she needed to move out of my place. That as long as she is with me, she might not get married since it's obvious I wasn't going to marry her no matter how much both of us pretended about it. Deep inside me I knew she was right and I couldn't be selfish to keep her from meeting single suitors but I felt an inexplicable pain in my heart as if a part of me was about to be cut off. However, I forced myself to assist her to get a place and yet she on her own kept coming to my place every weekend until she moved in again leaving her place wasting for over 2 months., only going there once in a while to pick things..

All the 2 years we were together she was open and truthful to me about relationships she was now trying to build with single guys she hoped would marry her. I was already feeling bad inside me that she was about to leave my life, but she kept assuring me that she was with me and truly told me everything happeneing in the new relationship she was building.

She later moved out completely from my place after 2years on a new year day. She said needed to start the year on a good and clean note and had gotten serious with the guy that said he wants to marry her. I began to feel extreme jealous I couldn't explain. I knew it was not right but I couldn't stop myself. I tried my best and stopped calling or chatting with her but I still didn't find peace. One evening a month after when it was now clear that she has decided to get serious with the guy she said was coming for marriage, she visited me and and you can't believe it, we made hot passionate love. And when we were lying side by side, her new man called and she quickly ran into the toilet to answer him. I felt it was time I ended this whole thing, it wasn't looking right again. So I confronted her why she was still leading me on when she is now in a marriage -bound relationship and she said because she still loves me and doesn't know how to let go of me. We cried together that it wiould be tough as we would soon separate from each other for life and she left. I cried like a baby as we made love again and she consoling me to try and teach my wife the things she does to me despite her FGM predicament.

The period she was with me, she was uncomfortable answering calls from her man and I got fed up and decided to investigate. So I went to the street where she showed me the guy lives(she was truly open to me and I give her that) and waited to see if she has started visiting him as she mostly denies and lo and behold, I saw her entering the guy's house. I felt a sharp pang of jealousy which I couldn't control. I picked up my phone after some minutes and started calling her, but her phone rang severally and she didn't pick. I was almost half-dead with jealousy. I cried iny heart and drove away. I sent her a text that because she was "enjoying" herself with her man she was now avoiding my calls. That maybe tbe guy was so good at it. She called about 2 hours later and really took offence that because she visited him and did not pick my call was simply because she doesn't want him to start asking questions and not necessarily that they were doing anything. We quarrelled like never before and said hurtful things to each other and I asked her to return my key at my office the next day cos by then she no longer visited my house as she has really gotten serious with the guy. She returned the key and for over 2 months we stopped communicating and became strangers.

Instead of pushing her out my mind, I felt a daily torture looking through her Facebook pics, WhatsApp status, and other social media. I will go to her guy's street and painfully watch her enter his house from afar. I was fast losing my mind. I knew it was over for good and don't want her back but the obsession is yet to leave me till date. Everyday, I check her pictures and feels pangs of pain and jealousy as I see her lovely smiles. My people it's punishment and torture for me. I keep obsessing every second of my life about her. Who can help me? Something is definitely wrong. In one of her recent status, I saw her flaunt her hands with an engagement ring and I felt a sharp pang of sadness instead of happiness. People help me I am loosing it. Even though she has apologized to me and I too have apologized for the hurtful things we said in the course of our quarrel, my mind is still not at peace. Even now presently she is engaged she still calls me and tries to engage me in friendly conversations but I will just be answering without interest. She even sent me a pic recently at a wedding she went to and I told her she should stop sending me her pics but should be sending to her man. She apologized and said she has taken note. Yet, I will feel bad inside me if I don't see her friendly chats which my attitude has made her reduce. Yet in all these, first thing in the morning I will quickly rush to check her pics, if she has made new posts, etc etc. I need help, I really do. Sorry my people for the long post but I really needed to empty myself to see the help I can get if any cos I want my normal sane life back. I have also prayed to God and asked for forgiveness for cheating on my wife ....I have no excuses for doing so but from the long story you can see it was never my intention.

You see, this love thing can be cruel atimes.
We don't choose love , it claims each man as it will.
Its sad you both were victims of circumstance and I felt ur pain while reading through but this is ur reality my bro and you've got to move on.

Like she said , take every sexual fantasy you enjoyed with her and ignite them in ur wife, that will be a good start to moving on.

I read everything because I was hoping to read where you finally got sense but I saw non.

I can't believe a 40 years old man can't control his emotions. You'll destroy yourself and your family if you don't grow up.

Extreme love can turn into extreme hate. Be careful.

DKM123:
I hate that word, "simp" but you are the perfect definition of the word. A so called alphamale who cheats on his wife will know that love is not part of the deal but you simps, just two or three back thrust and you have fallen in love yakata with your side chic.

You saying she was a well brought up girl that had values shows you are not very smart in the ways of the world. Well brought up Kee you there. Well brought that moved in with a married man for two years and is engaged but collecting dciks from a married man.. Values indeed. Your gullibility is on steroids. No wonder you are falling in love with your side chic.

The girl was poor and didn't give a flip that you are a married man cos she NEEDED that you to take care of her financial needs. She knew what she was doing ALL ALONG when she offered to come and cook and clean and sleep in the house of a married man.

She was NOT in love with you, don't be silly. You were just a means to an end. She needed you to SURVIVE. The monthly stipends and the roof over her head and the other financial help including her mum's hospital bill were very vital at that point in her life. You think say she go for send your papa yansh if you weren't doing all that?

A woman that is in love mostly becomes TOTALLY FOOLISH cos they are emotional. She would have stupidly stayed with you and be disgusted with the touch of another man. That's how women are wired. That's why some side chic never marry cos they fell in love with thier Aristo. Women don't easily move on if they are TRULY in love even if the man panel beats them with plenty beating twice a week, they will still blindly stay and make excuses for him. She left your ass cos she was done using you and needed to upgrade her life. You are still busy taking your own life backwards..

You better wake up from your foolishness and move on before you do something that will ruin your life. You will continue seeing her take pictures with her husband and kids while you would have lost your own family. Ode.

I couldn't agree less...you've said it all. Guard your heart with all diligence. When you fall in "love", you are gone!

NLElder:
I never proud of what happened and look I tell u it could happen to anyone especially if circumstances keep u away from wife 80% of the time. Don't be quick to judge buddy

You accused me. I did not judge you.
I only pointed out a supposed scenerio in which your legally married partner was the one in your shoes.

Now for accusing me, if you are looking for a means of buying my emotions to reason with you sentimentally by appealing to your conscience and acceptance of your wrong doing, it will not work.
Simply put; you fvcked up, you are fvcking up, stop fvcking up and turn to your wife, period.

Occupy yourself with something else. You both knew from the start that it's a relationship destined for the rocks. Let her go and move on.
Time heals but help time to heal faster by occupying your mind with plenty good things.
Life is still beautiful, don't waste it. Be careful

Honestly I’m hoping those children are not his. Two wrongs do not make a right but those who do not hear must feel. At 40 you should be thinking about expanding investments, generational wealth and hustling so you can retire on time and enjoy your old age with your wife. This one is crying over a public toilet and spending his measly salary on the shameless thing. Shame on you. A fool at 40 is a fool for what?? Deyy dere.

CandiceJay:
I hope your children turn out to not be yours. Maybe then you'll understand the level of wickedness you've portrayed in this story you just shared.

Haba, but why are some men this heartless? I can imagine the kind of comments I would have been reading here if this was coming from a woman. People are telling you to move on, move on to your karma.

This is painful