₦airaland Forum

Skyview01:
Your dad na Delta man?. Just asking?.

i wanted to ask dis same question bcus nah delta men get dis yeye character,dat's y my mum sworn none of her daughter will marry a delta man....

ebijimi7:
Good day guys, I've been on this forum for a while now and I've learnt a lot from you guys via threads here on nairaland.
To cut the story short and not bore you, I'm a 28 year old guy and will be 29 by October knowing that I've finally grown to be an adult is really getting me frustrated and depressed because of a lot of responsibilities that comes with it,
Although I've been a hustler from a very tender age (16) I had an irresponsible father who doesn't care about me and my sibling instead of him to take care of us with the money he made he would rather spend that money on woman. Leaving my sibling and mum to starve.
My dad had only one chance to turn my life around when I needed him most, he refuse to help me, because I went for a scholarship exam when I was in school and I was among the lucky 10 that was picked and I was offered to come and learn networking for a token fee of #50,000 naira then instead of the normal 450k but my dad refuse to pay telling me he doesn't have money, I cried and begged him to please help me my dad kept saying he doesn't have money and this happened immediately after I finished my ssce exam then, now my dad said he doesn't have money but that year he abandoned me and my mum and sibling at my grand mother's house because my grandma built her own house, for years we didn't hear from him or get to see him.
My mum would call and beg him for money for food he would curse her , later we found out he was living with another woman and he got another apartment for 300k and this same man said ge doesn't have money to sponsor me for a tech skill I wanted to acquire. So when my dad was not ready to help I had to seek for a job to take care of my mum and sibling because my mum business went down and we were not having anything to eat, so I got a factory job I would work from 7am to 7pm even with that machine almost chopped off my index finger I still had to go to work just for my family to eat my mum kept crying and calling my dad, he ignored us and for God so good he opened a way for me and got a better job offer, I gain admission in yabatech I wanted to pay 75k for school fee I had 50k my mum begged my dad to borrow me 25k that I would refund it, my dad shouted at my mum that he doesn't have anything to give to me if he doesn't pay his rent first[b](omo I regretted coming to earth through that man)[/b].
To cut the long story short, I am getting depressed because I'm still staying in my granny's house and I want to leave but I'm currently building for my mum and I want to build mine too and get married but the pressure is much because I feel I'm running out of time and my girlfriend is on my neck that we should get married (although she has been very supportive) but I felt I don't have time on my side again because now I need to rent an apartment and also finish the house I'm building for my mum but I'm not earning much and all these on a mere salary of 60k I'm really frustrated and if I should get an apartment while building its going to slow down the progress of the building and I really want to gift this to my mum for her 60th birthday which is in 3 years time (that woman deserve to be happy I love her so much) and I also needed to get married and start having my children adult hood is not easy
Please I need you guys advice as I'm getting really frustrated.

Take it easy with yourself. You want to do so many things at a time. Don't judge your achievement with age.

Some people didn't even have land until they are 40-50yrs

Some people didn't get married until the got into their 40s

Burna boy was into music for over a decade but he didn't blow until 2-3yrs ago


Stop putting yourself under unnecessary pressure, take it , one project at a time and be focus and dedicated

fattprince:
Actually 4. But seems I'm still the youngest. My uncle said something about not being on my own by 30 if not for ASUU shey I for don commot go serve stay there at least to prove him wrong that I left home before 30. I still believe Sha that anything can happen before I clock 30.

We'll be around the same age then... Cuz I'm approaching 29 soonest... Bdw, no mind ya h'unku jere.. he think say hin days be like ours wey things dan tough yamayama now... I'm unemployed and I still dey chow my mama food steady and under her roof sef .. no womanfriend and I'm not even bothered.. just taking life one step at a time.. Broski, las las, we go soft inshallah.

Bros abeg no go do pass urslf ooh to avoid i thy knw...
60k per month no cum board at all...

ebijimi7:
Good day guys, I've been on this forum for a while now and I've learnt a lot from you guys via threads here on nairaland.
To cut the story short and not bore you, I'm a 28 year old guy and will be 29 by October knowing that I've finally grown to be an adult is really getting me frustrated and depressed because of a lot of responsibilities that comes with it,
Although I've been a hustler from a very tender age (16) I had an irresponsible father who doesn't care about me and my sibling instead of him to take care of us with the money he made he would rather spend that money on woman. Leaving my sibling and mum to starve.
My dad had only one chance to turn my life around when I needed him most, he refuse to help me, because I went for a scholarship exam when I was in school and I was among the lucky 10 that was picked and I was offered to come and learn networking for a token fee of #50,000 naira then instead of the normal 450k but my dad refuse to pay telling me he doesn't have money, I cried and begged him to please help me my dad kept saying he doesn't have money and this happened immediately after I finished my ssce exam then, now my dad said he doesn't have money but that year he abandoned me and my mum and sibling at my grand mother's house because my grandma built her own house, for years we didn't hear from him or get to see him.
My mum would call and beg him for money for food he would curse her , later we found out he was living with another woman and he got another apartment for 300k and this same man said ge doesn't have money to sponsor me for a tech skill I wanted to acquire. So when my dad was not ready to help I had to seek for a job to take care of my mum and sibling because my mum business went down and we were not having anything to eat, so I got a factory job I would work from 7am to 7pm even with that machine almost chopped off my index finger I still had to go to work just for my family to eat my mum kept crying and calling my dad, he ignored us and for God so good he opened a way for me and got a better job offer, I gain admission in yabatech I wanted to pay 75k for school fee I had 50k my mum begged my dad to borrow me 25k that I would refund it, my dad shouted at my mum that he doesn't have anything to give to me if he doesn't pay his rent first[b](omo I regretted coming to earth through that man)[/b].
To cut the long story short, I am getting depressed because I'm still staying in my granny's house and I want to leave but I'm currently building for my mum and I want to build mine too and get married but the pressure is much because I feel I'm running out of time and my girlfriend is on my neck that we should get married (although she has been very supportive) but I felt I don't have time on my side again because now I need to rent an apartment and also finish the house I'm building for my mum but I'm not earning much and all these on a mere salary of 60k I'm really frustrated and if I should get an apartment while building its going to slow down the progress of the building and I really want to gift this to my mum for her 60th birthday which is in 3 years time (that woman deserve to be happy I love her so much) and I also needed to get married and start having my children adult hood is not easy
Please I need you guys advice as I'm getting really frustrated.

Are you okay atall?
You are getting old at 29? shey you dey okay sha? Are you hearing yourself?
Reading from the beginning I was pitying you o, wanted to comfort you and give you some motivation but then you mentioned marriage. And I ask again are you okay?
You are yet to find your feet, you are yet to build your self up, do you have a job to start up a family? You think marriage is just sleep in the house with wife and fvck? When the kids come,and you need to pay for rent and also sort out household stuffs how will you do it? Are you thinking at all? Don't you know with marriage you would be more pressured? Your wife, her family, yourself, your family or do you think of abandoning your mum and siblings? So that your dad would have the last laugh. Instead make you hustle and show your pop that he fvcked up when you have made enough money, you're busy having girlfriend and even thinking of marriage. Mtcheeeew

I don't think you are normal sha . Imagine talk, age is not on my side ( for a guy o), girlfriend is giving you pressure.... rubbish

Ferkaholic:
We'll be around the same age then... Cuz I'm approaching 29 soonest... Bdw, no mind ya h'unku jere.. he think say hin days be like ours wey things dan tough yamayama now... I'm unemployed and I still dey chow my mama food steady and under her roof sef .. no womanfriend and I'm not even bothered.. just taking life one step at a time.. Broski, las las, we go soft inshallah.

Ah! You the youngest then, I turned 29 in April. Don't even mind him. Even as is days were better economically and then he rented his first house at 28/29 (room and parlor)and even then he still receives money from his dad while my dad died when I was just 11. I still eat my mama food too though I don't want to be comfortable with it and I don't have a girl friend too even though people are always asking as if I'm keeping the girl a secret and from how they ask I deduce is not about having a girlfriend but they ask because they want to see how pretty my girlfriend will be because (according to people) I'm fine, can you imagine.
But I know as you have said he go soft for us by God's grace. For the Op the advice I had for him was for him to say "fvck it" and live life one day at a time. Mental health is important very important. It good to be in control but sometimes you just have to let go and let things go on, on their own.

Blunttruth:
Or Bini. Terrible, useless men full here. Maybe it's delta men living in Benin sha.

I'm neither Delta or Bini but Please stop stereotyping. There are good and bad people everywhere period!

Take it easy... Calm down
Where are you rushing to?
Bruh no do pass urself... If u never get money for apartment stay in ur granny place no allow one girl to pressure u
You're 28 you're still young and still av a lot to achieve. Put girl and marriage matter aside focus more on your self.
On 60k u want to get marry, build and rent house... Be calming down na, stop putting pressure on yourself.
You think getting marry and raising kids na joke? If u marry now b4 u know a little over a year ur wife will start pressuring u again for kids, abeg rest... No go kill urself
If she can't wait leave her... If she is supportive of you she will understand.

squash47:
ask him if he is an urhobo man.

precisely

Harrykn:
Your Girlfriend is on your Neck.
Money no even dey to pay rent, you dey keep girlfriend dey blame your papa for chasing women. Now she wants marriage, the pressure don high and if you’re not careful you’ll start neglecting your family to satisfy her. That is what withdrew your father’s attention from the family.
You need settle yourself before you settle another person because who no get chair siddon no fit lap person.

the bolded is spot on

fattprince:
Actually 4. But seems I'm still the youngest. My uncle said something about not being on my own by 30 if not for ASUU shey I for don commot go serve stay there at least to prove him wrong that I left home before 30. I still believe Sha that anything can happen before I clock 30.

you don dey near the 30?
me I don hit 31 and the ASUU strike don deny me chance to go for nysc

Bluezy13:
And my neighbor somewhere is 31 years old, an only son, without a girlfriend, managing life gradually and he is not bothered because he doesn't care about what others think about him.

That man needs to read your story.

Why should he care ? Just asking .. brr life no be war everybody dey try abeg even Jesus was still single at the of 33 living in his father's house

TechBIogger:
you don dey near the 30?
me I don hit 31 and the ASUU strike don deny me chance to go for nysc

Yes oh. I will be 30 in April 2023. I heard you can still serve if you are still 30. I hope it's true Sha.

ebijimi7:
Thanks bro currently taking a cyber security course on udemy

how did you pay ? . I got declined anytime I want to pay

Wow!

ebijimi7:
Good day guys, I've been on this forum for a while now and I've learnt a lot from you guys via threads here on nairaland.
To cut the story short and not bore you, I'm a 28 year old guy and will be 29 by October knowing that I've finally grown to be an adult is really getting me frustrated and depressed because of a lot of responsibilities that comes with it,
Although I've been a hustler from a very tender age (16) I had an irresponsible father who doesn't care about me and my sibling instead of him to take care of us with the money he made he would rather spend that money on woman. Leaving my sibling and mum to starve.
My dad had only one chance to turn my life around when I needed him most, he refuse to help me, because I went for a scholarship exam when I was in school and I was among the lucky 10 that was picked and I was offered to come and learn networking for a token fee of #50,000 naira then instead of the normal 450k but my dad refuse to pay telling me he doesn't have money, I cried and begged him to please help me my dad kept saying he doesn't have money and this happened immediately after I finished my ssce exam then, now my dad said he doesn't have money but that year he abandoned me and my mum and sibling at my grand mother's house because my grandma built her own house, for years we didn't hear from him or get to see him.
My mum would call and beg him for money for food he would curse her , later we found out he was living with another woman and he got another apartment for 300k and this same man said ge doesn't have money to sponsor me for a tech skill I wanted to acquire. So when my dad was not ready to help I had to seek for a job to take care of my mum and sibling because my mum business went down and we were not having anything to eat, so I got a factory job I would work from 7am to 7pm even with that machine almost chopped off my index finger I still had to go to work just for my family to eat my mum kept crying and calling my dad, he ignored us and for God so good he opened a way for me and got a better job offer, I gain admission in yabatech I wanted to pay 75k for school fee I had 50k my mum begged my dad to borrow me 25k that I would refund it, my dad shouted at my mum that he doesn't have anything to give to me if he doesn't pay his rent first[b](omo I regretted coming to earth through that man)[/b].
To cut the long story short, I am getting depressed because I'm still staying in my granny's house and I want to leave but I'm currently building for my mum and I want to build mine too and get married but the pressure is much because I feel I'm running out of time and my girlfriend is on my neck that we should get married (although she has been very supportive) but I felt I don't have time on my side again because now I need to rent an apartment and also finish the house I'm building for my mum but I'm not earning much and all these on a mere salary of 60k I'm really frustrated and if I should get an apartment while building its going to slow down the progress of the building and I really want to gift this to my mum for her 60th birthday which is in 3 years time (that woman deserve to be happy I love her so much) and I also needed to get married and start having my children adult hood is not easy
Please I need you guys advice as I'm getting really frustrated.

Remove the time frame you have set for yourself for marriage and watch how pressure/burden will be taken away from you automatically...The pressure coming from your GF alone can make you to loose focus and if you don't achieve your set plans before marriage, children will start coming and that means more financial responsibilities and that is the foundation of poverty...

And you need to diversify your source of income because I'm wondering which type of house is been built on 60K monthly earnings...God is your strength bro

Wotoporiously speaking

This your story I fit relate, I believe say people above wey drop you comment don do some justice to your issue and I understand the pressure that comes with growing up and trying to meet up with expectations, about that marriage level abeg no let any body pressure you into marrying when he never align with your plans, I go advice you make you try ease your mind and take things jejely.

Everything go dey okay.

Man make plans, God laughs....

No mind the mugu, saying he's old at 29, maybe we need to do something to give the society orientation, I'm sure this same competitive mindset killed that lekki woman because all are supposed friends are married with kids. It is only when you aren't sure of yourself or future you start getting unnecessary paranoia, and anxiety. Hahaha mf said he's old at 29, then he will probably think he's a grandfather at 40, a great grand father at 50 and an ancestor at 60. Fcking jackasss

ukaface:
Are you okay atall?
You are getting old at 29? shey you dey okay sha? Are you hearing yourself?
Reading from the beginning I was pitying you o, wanted to comfort you and give you some motivation but then you mentioned marriage. And I ask again are you okay?
You are yet to find your feet, you are yet to build your self up, do you have a job to start up a family? You think marriage is just sleep in the house with wife and fvck? When the kids come,and you need to pay for rent and also sort out household stuffs how will you do it? Are you thinking at all? Don't you know with marriage you would be more pressured? Your wife, her family, yourself, your family or do you think of abandoning your mum and siblings? So that your dad would have the last laugh. Instead make you hustle and show your pop that he fvcked up when you have made enough money, you're busy having girlfriend and even thinking of marriage. Mtcheeeew

I don't think you are normal sha . Imagine talk, age is not on my side ( for a guy o), girlfriend is giving you pressure.... rubbish

Blunttruth:
I smile when nairaland guys are always insulting women with comments like outside sex what can you offer a man, when there are millions of women singlehandedly carrying their families.. This is the story of the life of many families around me. The karma that is going to befall your dad is doing press up. (No insut intended) later he will come and beg, mark my words.
Please don't be frustrated. You are doing well, How many 28 year olds that are legit can boast of a land, talkless of building. Calm down and take it easy. If your girlfriend is supportive talk to her, if you guys can stay in your grandmother' s place. But ask your self if the place is condusive enough. You know how some families start treating wives and how some wives too behave. You know both parties so only you can decide if they can cohabit without ending in enimity.
Left to me ,if you know your girlfriend is the one, you can get married to her. Get a house of moderate irent,if possible a one room self contained or single room, that is if your grandmother's place isn't
conducive. You can decide to wait a little before trying for kids, or have just one right away. You should have built for yourself first . Channel your resources into one place,then yt can live there and house your mum. Then later you and your siblings could join hands to build for her. Make sure all your siblings are as hardworking as you are. Then you all can join hands to build for your mum. Don't put yourself under unecesarry pressure please. Continue in your way of life, avoid a sinful life and keep praying. God will bless you. When the money starts coming do not start womanizing and making the mistakes your father did.

you are well experienced man or woman..I respect your advice.. thanks so much.

henryligit:
You can still pick up as a man but first you have to conquer yourself
I was feeling depressed earlier this year
Just like you..but all thanks to qnet

So if you can work here in Lagos
Heat me on 07066198170
Or if you Know any of your friend that is working in quest international company you can still call that person for help

bro I need work abeg.. I'm wasting away here..

winterwind:
No mind the mugu, saying he's old at 29, maybe we need to do something to give the society orientation, I'm sure this same competitive mindset killed that lekki woman because all are supposed friends are married with kids. It is only when you aren't sure of yourself or future you start getting unnecessary paranoia, and anxiety. Hahaha mf said he's old at 29, then he will probably think he's a grandfather at 40, a great grand father at 50 and an ancestor at 60. Fcking jackasss

lmao
It's your age classification for me..
People rushing into marriage and birthing of children like it's some kind of competition. You haven't saved yourself, you want to save another being that you will birth. Stupidity.

Take it easy OP, besides na Man you be. I recommend you for the job well done.

well everybody get his problem to solve but let me say mine, am 31 a graduate doing a security job of 30k, I have zero pressure on me cos my only problem in life is to beg for food, once I can be able to get that done, am fine, my advice to u young man is that history is about to repeat itself with u, your parents are unable to take care of u and u are about to get married and believe me u won't be able to take care of them, and your children too will call u names, exact thing u are complaining about your dad, young man and every young man reading my message, if u have not fully conquer poverty as a bachelor do not do the mistake of getting married for any reason. worrying won't solve anything, just try your best and God will later bless u at his own time, Jesus Christ started his life ministry at 30, who are u mortal man to complain about life when u are not the one that programmed your life the way its going, leave the creator to do his work, shallom

man if you dont really care how to make money illegal (learn spamming; carding;cracking) thank me later

ebijimi7:
Good day guys, I've been on this forum for a while now and I've learnt a lot from you guys via threads here on nairaland.
To cut the story short and not bore you, I'm a 28 year old guy and will be 29 by October knowing that I've finally grown to be an adult is really getting me frustrated and depressed because of a lot of responsibilities that comes with it,
Although I've been a hustler from a very tender age (16) I had an irresponsible father who doesn't care about me and my sibling instead of him to take care of us with the money he made he would rather spend that money on woman. Leaving my sibling and mum to starve.
My dad had only one chance to turn my life around when I needed him most, he refuse to help me, because I went for a scholarship exam when I was in school and I was among the lucky 10 that was picked and I was offered to come and learn networking for a token fee of #50,000 naira then instead of the normal 450k but my dad refuse to pay telling me he doesn't have money, I cried and begged him to please help me my dad kept saying he doesn't have money and this happened immediately after I finished my ssce exam then, now my dad said he doesn't have money but that year he abandoned me and my mum and sibling at my grand mother's house because my grandma built her own house, for years we didn't hear from him or get to see him.
My mum would call and beg him for money for food he would curse her , later we found out he was living with another woman and he got another apartment for 300k and this same man said ge doesn't have money to sponsor me for a tech skill I wanted to acquire. So when my dad was not ready to help I had to seek for a job to take care of my mum and sibling because my mum business went down and we were not having anything to eat, so I got a factory job I would work from 7am to 7pm even with that machine almost chopped off my index finger I still had to go to work just for my family to eat my mum kept crying and calling my dad, he ignored us and for God so good he opened a way for me and got a better job offer, I gain admission in yabatech I wanted to pay 75k for school fee I had 50k my mum begged my dad to borrow me 25k that I would refund it, my dad shouted at my mum that he doesn't have anything to give to me if he doesn't pay his rent first[b](omo I regretted coming to earth through that man)[/b].
To cut the long story short, I am getting depressed because I'm still staying in my granny's house and I want to leave but I'm currently building for my mum and I want to build mine too and get married but the pressure is much because I feel I'm running out of time and my girlfriend is on my neck that we should get married (although she has been very supportive) but I felt I don't have time on my side again because now I need to rent an apartment and also finish the house I'm building for my mum but I'm not earning much and all these on a mere salary of 60k I'm really frustrated and if I should get an apartment while building its going to slow down the progress of the building and I really want to gift this to my mum for her 60th birthday which is in 3 years time (that woman deserve to be happy I love her so much) and I also needed to get married and start having my children adult hood is not easy
Please I need you guys advice as I'm getting really frustrated.

oga, rest in Jesus name

Lol, see man pikin putting unnecessary pressure on himself

fattprince:
Yes oh. I will be 30 in April 2023. I heard you can still serve if you are still 30. I hope it's true Sha.

The date on your certificate is what matters, if you're above 30 by that age you can't serve

Emmanuelcann:
I'm neither Delta or Bini but Please stop stereotyping. There are good and bad people everywhere period!

Yes I agree, but it way to common where I stay. I can't count .

Blunttruth:
Or Bini. Terrible, useless men full here. Maybe it's delta men living in Benin sha.

something about Bini men sha

YoungBlackRico:
something about Bini men sha

Especially first sons aladt Born's with older siblings abroad. Very useless beings.

ebijimi7:
Good day guys, I've been on this forum for a while now and I've learnt a lot from you guys via threads here on nairaland.
To cut the story short and not bore you, I'm a 28 year old guy and will be 29 by October knowing that I've finally grown to be an adult is really getting me frustrated and depressed because of a lot of responsibilities that comes with it,
Although I've been a hustler from a very tender age (16) I had an irresponsible father who doesn't care about me and my sibling instead of him to take care of us with the money he made he would rather spend that money on woman. Leaving my sibling and mum to starve.
My dad had only one chance to turn my life around when I needed him most, he refuse to help me, because I went for a scholarship exam when I was in school and I was among the lucky 10 that was picked and I was offered to come and learn networking for a token fee of #50,000 naira then instead of the normal 450k but my dad refuse to pay telling me he doesn't have money, I cried and begged him to please help me my dad kept saying he doesn't have money and this happened immediately after I finished my ssce exam then, now my dad said he doesn't have money but that year he abandoned me and my mum and sibling at my grand mother's house because my grandma built her own house, for years we didn't hear from him or get to see him.
My mum would call and beg him for money for food he would curse her , later we found out he was living with another woman and he got another apartment for 300k and this same man said ge doesn't have money to sponsor me for a tech skill I wanted to acquire. So when my dad was not ready to help I had to seek for a job to take care of my mum and sibling because my mum business went down and we were not having anything to eat, so I got a factory job I would work from 7am to 7pm even with that machine almost chopped off my index finger I still had to go to work just for my family to eat my mum kept crying and calling my dad, he ignored us and for God so good he opened a way for me and got a better job offer, I gain admission in yabatech I wanted to pay 75k for school fee I had 50k my mum begged my dad to borrow me 25k that I would refund it, my dad shouted at my mum that he doesn't have anything to give to me if he doesn't pay his rent first[b](omo I regretted coming to earth through that man)[/b].
To cut the long story short, I am getting depressed because I'm still staying in my granny's house and I want to leave but I'm currently building for my mum and I want to build mine too and get married but the pressure is much because I feel I'm running out of time and my girlfriend is on my neck that we should get married (although she has been very supportive) but I felt I don't have time on my side again because now I need to rent an apartment and also finish the house I'm building for my mum but I'm not earning much and all these on a mere salary of 60k I'm really frustrated and if I should get an apartment while building its going to slow down the progress of the building and I really want to gift this to my mum for her 60th birthday which is in 3 years time (that woman deserve to be happy I love her so much) and I also needed to get married and start having my children adult hood is not easy
Please I need you guys advice as I'm getting really frustrated.

In as much as I appreciate your efforts in your family after your dad bleeped up, you have to keep the light burning

The only thing putting you into frustration and depression is uoir babe and marriage wahala

Try and settle your mum and give her a roof

If your babe wants to be pregnant and start having children pls free her and get her pregnant once that is done, go ams see her parents and let them know that you are the one in her life

You must not allow anything to disturb your mother and your wife to be by giving your woman more care and attention and dropping your mum

It will remind her of what your dad did to her

Take your time and plan well, marriage comes with bigger responsibilities so clear the one you can clear

If your babe can't wait for you, she is free to move on

You are the Head of uoir father family, plan yourself before settling down

As for your dad, a time is coming when you will pay him back one Naira to one Kobo

If you don't do that nature will help you do that

But he must surely reap from unripe fruit

Because he spoilt so many chances for you and your sibblings

Just bring me better local us aza and I go turn your 3yrs plan to one night plan