₦airaland Forum

This conversation...

A lot of tough realities in here that we've just sucked up as normal.

Last slides...

How are these exactly any surprising? Nigeria is an undeveloped economy with little hope of advancing into the class of developing economies any soon. That’s the reality. So, why should the consequences be any surprising? What exactly was moral initially on the landscape? Was it when Nigerians were heavily involved in the drug trade in the 80’s? Or was it when politicians started looting the nation’s resources in the 70’s? New economic realities just created new moral codes for the 2000’s. Nothing surprising. It’s just nostalgia at play here. Let everybody grow up. By the 2020’s we’ll see a new set of economic consequences.

Maybe I should also add that there is no amount of conversations that will change these new realities.

Lol. I read somewhere that a girl refused to breakup with her abusive bf because he has washing machine and Midea AC.

Omo, e get as sapa go knack you, you go begin reason the devil you know.

I don’t even know if it would get better. I only hope we are all fine out there.

My generation is fxxked up... everything is transactional these days

This is actually the painful Nigerian reality we all have to face, sadly most people are willing to go above and beyond to get what they want simply for survival,

Nigeria today is eat or be eaten.

Klass99:
Hmmm, the part about aged parents going into debt for 20, 30 and 40 year old children doesn't sit well with me. It is just all shades of wrong and no sensible child should be allowing that to happen.

If you want to japa, have a plan, be patient and work your plan. Don't look for short cuts either and most importantly don't let aged parents get into debt because of you. Are your hands broken or is your brain malfunctioning, to a point where you cannot work out your relocation plan? That's all I've got to say! Prima it's been a while, how are you?

Modified to add: Except parents are willingly taking loans and going into debt for their adult children........I cannot deal ooo.

Remember we once had this conversation about parents taking responsibility for their adults children getting married even when the children are not capable financially just because they want to be called grandparents, same thing applied here, just that in this case they want the children to try a new environment as Nigeria is not favouring them... Sacrifices some parents out there make,talking from experience.

Lots of facts in that post mahn....it's crazy times!

Klass99:
Hmmm, the part about aged parents going into debt for 20, 30 and 40 year old children doesn't sit well with me. It is just all shades of wrong and no sensible child should be allowing that to happen.

If you want to japa, have a plan, be patient and work your plan. Don't look for short cuts either and most importantly don't let aged parents get into debt because of you. Are your hands broken or is your brain malfunctioning, to a point where you cannot work out your relocation plan? That's all I've got to say! Prima it's been a while, how are you?

Modified to add: Except parents are willingly taking loans and going into debt for their adult children........I cannot deal ooo.

As in your modified: I think some parents are now willingly ready to loan money for that ...all in an attempt to 'play their last card' at giving their chilldren the chance for a "better life"

This is very true. In corporate dating scenes, people are looking for partners with japa potentials. Doctors, Nurses, Tech workers. I dont blame anybody. Nigeria is completely finished.

Klass99:
Hmmm, the part about aged parents going into debt for 20, 30 and 40 year old children doesn't sit well with me. It is just all shades of wrong and no sensible child should be allowing that to happen.

If you want to japa, have a plan, be patient and work your plan. Don't look for short cuts either and most importantly don't let aged parents get into debt because of you. Are your hands broken or is your brain malfunctioning, to a point where you cannot work out your relocation plan? That's all I've got to say! Prima it's been a while, how are you?

Modified to add: Except parents are willingly taking loans and going into debt for their adult children........I cannot deal ooo.

I guess You have lived abroad for a while and now you're back in Nigeria , living a good life..... So please allow parents who want to take loans to send their kids abroad ( legally ) to do it! They have their reasons... Moreover such loans are paid back withing a short time.... My uncle took loans and moved to the US , he's paid back and he's living his best life. And this was someone who was working as a security guard in Nigeria.

Secondly I still look forward to more of your Comments on Nairaland , they are quiet educative...

I agree with many of the points raised but I also don't think that what we see today is completely different from what we saw or read about the past.

The rate at which people leave Nigeria is actually low when compared with other least developed or developing countries like India, China, Brazil, or Bangladesh.

Nigeria cannot match the rate at which Indians or the Chinese leave their countries yet, based on current stats, only about 5% of Indians have international passport.

The rate at which people leave is not entirely the issue but the approach of our people, which is deeply rooted in corruption. The dating pool is obviously corrupt, like other segments of the Nigerian society.

If Nigeria becomes a better society economically, more people will leave, however the approach would be different.

I've never believed that poverty is the main reason people leave the country. The japa thing is a mentality, an ideology that will only increase with a better economy.

tensazangetsu20:
This is very true. In corporate dating scenes, people are looking for partners with japa potentials. Doctors, Nurses, Tech workers. I dont blame anybody. Nigeria is completely finished.

I'm not moved by all these tales.

We keep complaining but avoid those uncomfortable discussions that'll make this country better.

Thank God say I never born; it's just me, myself and I.

Worst case scenario, I go soak garri with salt drink.

Raalsalghul:
I'm not moved by all these tales.

We keep complaining but avoid those uncomfortable discussions that'll make this country better.

Thank God say I never born; it's just me, myself and I.

Worst case scenario, I go soak garri with salt drink.

Nigeria can never be better. Orji uzor kalu was boasting on Facebook the other day that all his children are American citizens. A whole senator.

Klass99:
Wetin japa dey cause ehn!

These are wonderful parents who should be forever cherished, because I can't imagine myself taking a loan or going into debt for grown children in their 30s & 40s. I may consider it for the ones in their early 20s but........that is a serious may.

That is how one of my childhood friends (Lydia) was bamboozled by a visiting diasporan with sweet talk and promises of a new life in the United States. Only to be left high and dry with a second child out of wedlock.

We lost touch for a long time but reconnected in 2018 or 2019. In catching up with each other via calls and chats, she mentioned she was now married with a second child and had plans to relocate with her hubby and two boys. I was genuinely happy for her because she was a single mother of one when she met diasporan, so my gladness came from the fact that the guy wasn't bothered about that.

However there was something about her update which rang false to me. I thought to myself there's no way Lydia will marry and I wouldn't have heard anything about it from our childhood circle.Moreover Lydia is the type to announce and publicize her affairs, because she likes pepper dem tinz.

Tessy (another childhood friend) and I were chatting one day, when I asked her are you aware Lydia got married, were you in attendance? Tessy responded with - what marriage, where and when? In explaining my conversation with Lydia, Tessy began to laugh, saying, is there no limit to the tales this chic will spin?

Tessy went on to explain that diasporan never married Lydia, he basically took advantage of her. Lydia was housing and feeding him during his long visit to Naija/Abuja, while bamboozling her with marriage and life in the US where he is based. They co-habited throughout his stay until she took in and gave birth to her second child. Afterwards diasporan japa-ed back to his base and that was the end of their relationship.

Lydia on her own has always wanted to japa, she grew up in Aussie, but briefly, before her parents returned to Naija. I guess like the post/slides say, she thought diasporan would be her ticket out of Naija.

Eyahh!!

pocohantas:
Lol. I read somewhere that a girl refused to breakup with her abusive bf because he has washing machine and Midea AC.

Omo, e get as sapa go knack you, you go begin reason the devil you know.

I don’t even know if it would get better. I only hope we are all fine out there.

How is this different from an employee who refused to quit their underpaid and abusive job?

It's even worse sef.

Raalsalghul:
I'm not moved by all these tales.

We keep complaining but avoid those uncomfortable discussions that'll make this country better.

Thank God say I never born; it's just me, myself and I.

Worst case scenario, I go soak garri with salt drink.

Add a little groundnut to the mix, I had it for lunch today .

It's the sad reality, people just want to survive and those who are surviving wants to thrive better.
Maslow's theory of needs comes to mind.

This shit hole of a country makes everything harder to achieve so "japaing" seems like the best solution.

Klass99:
Lol . At the bolded I haven't ooo. I was born and bred in Naija, my international trips have only been to other African countries not obodo. The modified part of my post indicates that I don't have a problem if parents are willingly taking out loans. It shouldn't be that children who are desperate to japa, are the ones directly or indirectly pressuring parents into loans and debt.

Your uncle took loans NOT his parents, right? I like that and the fact that he paid back. I struggle with parents taking loans for japa purposes (for adult children) because how many of our parents in the age group mentioned, are well off or doing well enough to afford such loan obligations? Are we (adult children) not the ones mostly looking after them in old age? Sending monthly allowances, paying medical bills when they arise and doing other stuff for them? How many of them receive their pension as and when due, or even have pension?

We should be caring for aged parents and not burdening them, with our desires as adults. They gave birth to us, does not mean they must quench on top of our matter or be unduly stressed because they are parents. I also have problems with adult children who give birth anyhow or outside their marriages, only to dump these children on their parents. As much as they want grandchildren, I am sure they also want to kick back their feet and relax more in retirement and old age.

You have a good head on your shoulders. I gbadun your posts too there are educative.

Klass99:
Hmmm, the part about aged parents going into debt for 20, 30 and 40 year old children doesn't sit well with me. It is just all shades of wrong and no sensible child should be allowing that to happen.

If you want to japa, have a plan, be patient and work your plan. Don't look for short cuts either and most importantly don't let aged parents get into debt because of you. Are your hands broken or is your brain malfunctioning, to a point where you cannot work out your relocation plan? That's all I've got to say! Prima it's been a while, how are you?

Modified to add: Except parents are willingly taking loans and going into debt for their adult children........I cannot deal ooo.

My dear...


You see the challenge is that, they expect to go abroad, make it big, and pay off the accrued debts in a sweep.

But reality sets in... and they find out that they'd also need to get by themselves before they have enough to pay off the debts.

*****
How have I been? My weekdays are just stressful

pocohantas:
Lol. I read somewhere that a girl refused to breakup with her abusive bf because he has washing machine and Midea AC.

Omo, e get as sapa go knack you, you go begin reason the devil you know.

I don’t even know if it would get better. I only hope we are all fine out there.

This is great humour!!!


You say wahhhhh? ? ?

Mryacks:
As in your modified: I think some parents are now willingly ready to loan money for that ...all in an attempt to 'play their last card' at giving their chilldren the chance for a "better life"

That's the problem.

When will they rest?

Well past retirement and they're still the ones trying to give their adult children a future.

An anomaly.

tensazangetsu20:
This is very true. In corporate dating scenes, people are looking for partners with japa potentials. Doctors, Nurses, Tech workers. I dont blame anybody. Nigeria is completely finished.

May Nigeria not be finished!

Acidosis:
I agree with many of the points raised but I also don't think that what we see today is completely different from what we saw or read about the past.

The rate at which people leave Nigeria is actually low when compared with other least developed or developing countries like India, China, Brazil, or Bangladesh.

Nigeria cannot match the rate at which Indians or the Chinese leave their countries yet, based on current stats, only about 5% of Indians have international passport.

The rate at which people leave is not entirely the issue but the approach of our people, which is deeply rooted in corruption. The dating pool is obviously corrupt, like other segments of the Nigerian society.

If Nigeria becomes a better society economically, more people will leave, however the approach would be different.

I've never believed that poverty is the main reason people leave the country. The japa thing is a mentality, an ideology that will only increase with a better economy.

In these times, the reasons people are leaving go beyond poverty, true.


But it accounts for the highest percentage of migrants.


Many people know that there's not much here for them by way of a decent living, today, and tomorrow....


For many others... sanity, yes...

Exposure...

Security...

Or sheer commendable ambition.


Nigeria has never been perfect.

I mean, I've been around for a while to be able to know that there's a stark difference between the yesteryears and now.

I never saw a time when Nigeria had it this bad...let alone worse.

Raalsalghul:
I'm not moved by all these tales.

We keep complaining but avoid those uncomfortable discussions that'll make this country better.

Thank God say I never born; it's just me, myself and I.

Worst case scenario, I go soak garri with salt drink.

Nigerians have a confused sense of resilience.

Pointless suffering and smiling.

Klass99:
Lol . At the bolded I haven't ooo. I was born and bred in Naija, my international trips have only been to other African countries not obodo. The modified part of my post indicates that I don't have a problem if parents are willingly taking out loans. It shouldn't be that children who are desperate to japa, are the ones directly or indirectly pressuring parents into loans and debt.

Your uncle took loans NOT his parents, right? I like that and the fact that he paid back. I struggle with parents taking loans for japa purposes (for adult children) because how many of our parents in the age group mentioned, are well off or doing well enough to afford such loan obligations? Are we (adult children) not the ones mostly looking after them in old age? Sending monthly allowances, paying medical bills when they arise and doing other stuff for them? How many of them receive their pension as and when due, or even have pension?

We should be caring for aged parents and not burdening them, with our desires as adults. They gave birth to us, does not mean they must quench on top of our matter or be unduly stressed because they are parents. I also have problems with adult children who give birth anyhow or outside their marriages, only to dump these children on their parents. As much as they want grandchildren, I am sure they also want to kick back their feet and relax more in retirement and old age.

I need to like this post a million times!!!

Karleb:
How is this different from an employee who refused to quit their underpaid and abusive job?

It's even worse sef.

Hmmmm.

Kinda different though.

One is honourably trying to survive...demonstrating resilience.


The other's taken leave of her senses.