Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,165,829 members, 7,862,729 topics. Date: Monday, 17 June 2024 at 02:46 AM

New Realities. - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / New Realities. (3449 Views)

These Adulthood Realities Give Us Nostalgia About Our Childhood Privileges / Please Advise My Friend Who Feels Missing Out On The Harsh Realities Of Life / What Are Your Stay At Home Realities During This Lockdown? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: New Realities. by cooooooks(m): 2:24am On Jun 09, 2022
One of the funniest stories was a girl who got pregnant by a man she thought was an Uber driver.

She didn't know that he was somebody's driver, driving his oga's car to chike (and f*CK) her.

So many similar stories arise.

Or how about those who borrow for (our stupidly exploitative market-like) marriage. When Aunty has married, that's when she finds out that food no dey.

Even in japa. Some men borrow money, come back and marry. When the wife gets there, she realises that no money dey. Or when older men marry nurses or midwifes to come to the abroad and work for them.

My people perish for lack of knowledge.
truthsayer009:


You are very right, we are extremely poor.

This is why I worry when I see Igbo Men seeking long-term partner approaching ladies with "I can take care you", "I have this & that", "I have this properties & cars, businesses etc" as a means of wooing women.

Nigeria is too poor of a country to woo people with the good life, because majority will jump at it. A lot of women end up getting married to men who claim they work in Chevron as Full-staff, until realising that they aren't even close to being a staff, they just had a short contract that is even expired years back. I know real people offline claiming they work somewhere only to be exposed after marriage.

The Japa thing too is a problem, people are ready to leave their spouse for another person who is sure of Japaing, and they don't even bother about compatibility.
Re: New Realities. by cooooooks(m): 2:38am On Jun 09, 2022
Those who were born in the 60s and 70s, and were educated, disagree.

Both my parents earned good money. Back then, everybody earned well and to roughly equally.

A shell employee was not over out earning a civil servant.

Those who moved abroad before the 2000s were more scared of military coups than economic downfall.

JejelifeNG:
Let's talk about the what, the when, the why and the solution

Nigeria has never been good enough to keep everyone in. Before now, travelling out was not a "Plan A" for the average university grad. It was a possible plan C for majority. Now, it has become a necessary plan A for most people and in many cases, the only plan!!!

The reason it became so bad is closely tied to our government. It became this bad after the 2015 democratic coup.

Nigeria has never been good. Nigeria has always been like a kettle on a stove where the temperature increases by 5 degrees every year. Unfortunately, since 2015, the temperature has been increasing by 30 degrees every year. The rate of destruction of some things that had previously never been visibly touched by bad governance is terrible now hence the urgent need to relocate

The solution is....
Re: New Realities. by cooooooks(m): 2:39am On Jun 09, 2022
Nothing stops you from being the catalyst for japa.

Go to travel subsection, you'll see the different modes of japa.

Good luck.
Hafizah:
Me sef want to japa oo.. May God bring that man into my life who will lead me out of this country. I promise to be the most supportive. loving and hardworking spouse you can think of.. Just give me a chance to meet and know you smiley smiley
Re: New Realities. by Hafizah(f): 9:25am On Jun 09, 2022
Cutehector:
u go gree change to christianity? cheesy
No. I cant change my belief for any reason. I cant raise confuse kids
Re: New Realities. by Hafizah(f): 9:27am On Jun 09, 2022
cooooooks:
Nothing stops you from being the catalyst for japa.

Go to travel subsection, you'll see the different modes of japa.

Good luck.
Thanks Cooooks, will certainly keep on trying.. U can help though smiley smiley
Re: New Realities. by cooooooks(m): 9:40am On Jun 09, 2022
If you've got questions, they have probably already been asked on NL. If you can't find an answer, holler and I'll respond.
Hafizah:
Thanks Cooooks, will certainly keep on trying.. U can help though smiley smiley
Re: New Realities. by Hafizah(f): 12:07pm On Jun 09, 2022
cooooooks:
If you've got questions, they have probably already been asked on NL. If you can't find an answer, holler and I'll respond.
first question is, where exactly in the world are you?
Re: New Realities. by cooooooks(m): 3:43pm On Jun 09, 2022
Currently in Canada.
Hafizah:
first question is, where exactly in the world are you?
Re: New Realities. by Hafizah(f): 6:01pm On Jun 09, 2022
cooooooks:
Currently in Canada.
Sounds great. What possible ways can get me to Canada lest scholarship
Re: New Realities. by cooooooks(m): 7:23pm On Jun 09, 2022
https://www.canadavisa.com/
Do a free assessment at that site side.

See what your baseline is.
Hafizah:
Sounds great. What possible ways can get me to Canada lest scholarship
Re: New Realities. by Hafizah(f): 8:53pm On Jun 09, 2022
cooooooks:

https://www.canadavisa.com/
Do a free assessment at that site side.

See what your baseline is.
But I dont fall into any category.. Isnt it easier when you have a dependent already there.
Re: New Realities. by Hafizah(f): 9:01pm On Jun 09, 2022
cooooooks:

https://www.canadavisa.com/
Do a free assessment at that site side.

See what your baseline is.
Coooks you could be of more help pls.
Re: New Realities. by cooooooks(m): 5:00am On Jun 10, 2022
Have you done it?

It's just to get a baseline. So you know where you're starting from.

It's tough to make suggestions without:
- age
- education
- language level
- willingness to learn another language (french)
- willingness to improve current language (English)
- willingness to change career
- money available
- willingness to move to a remote area

A lot is involved my sister.

Hafizah:
Coooks you could be of more help pls.
Re: New Realities. by Hafizah(f): 5:44am On Jun 10, 2022
cooooooks:
Have you done it?

It's just to get a baseline. So you know where you're starting from.

It's tough to make suggestions without:
- age
- education
- language level
- willingness to learn another language (french)
- willingness to improve current language (English)
- willingness to change career
- money available
- willingness to move to a remote area

A lot is involved my sister.

Thanks buddy.. A difficult one indeed..

1 Like

Re: New Realities. by NuCypher: 3:02pm On Jun 11, 2022
Hafizah:
Me sef want to japa oo.. May God bring that man into my life who will lead me out of this country. I promise to be the most supportive. loving and hardworking spouse you can think of.. Just give me a chance to meet and know you smiley smiley
Go and get a job, madam
Re: New Realities. by pansophist(m): 8:11pm On Jun 18, 2022
Hafizah:
Me sef want to japa oo.. May God bring that man into my life who will lead me out of this country. I promise to be the most supportive. loving and hardworking spouse you can think of.. Just give me a chance to meet and know you smiley smiley

So the conditions for a man to privatise you is japa compatibility. Not his character, virtue and compatibility with you. Just, Japa.

"In Mr Sabinus voice" ~ make God no let them make them kill you.

5 Likes

Re: New Realities. by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 9:13pm On Jun 18, 2022
Hafizah:
Me sef want to japa oo.. May God bring that man into my life who will lead me out of this country. I promise to be the most supportive. loving and hardworking spouse you can think of.. Just give me a chance to meet and know you smiley smiley

You don't need a man to "japa". If you are willing and press on enough, you can go by yourself.

Eschew this mindset. Everything you think a man can do, you can do way more and better.

1 Like

Re: New Realities. by Nobody: 10:30pm On Jun 18, 2022
@pansophist and @UyaiIncomparabl

You pipu should allow this lady find her Japa husband in peace nau, ahn ahn!

Besides Uyi, weren't you exactly like this with all your former threads before?, even though we knew it was cruise. She could also be cruising as well. Character, virtue and compatibility hasn't been what women use to decide who they end up with so far, It has always been finance, religion and physical spec. Not that I am supporting bad behaviour but I am just saying it based on what I see daily, also not every woman is like that.

I am just saying oh cheesy

3 Likes

Re: New Realities. by Hafizah(f): 7:52am On Jun 19, 2022
UyaiIncomparabl:


You don't need a man to "japa". If you are willing and press on enough, you can go by yourself.

Eschew this mindset. Everything you think a man can do, you can do way more and better.




Thanks.. Working on it.. Was only joking about the post. Thanks fr the advice
Re: New Realities. by Hafizah(f): 7:54am On Jun 19, 2022
truthsayer009:
@pansophist and @UyaiIncomparabl

You pipu should allow this lady find her Japa husband in peace nau, ahn ahn!

Besides Uyi, weren't you exactly like this with all your former threads before?, even though we knew it was cruise. She could also be cruising as well. Character, virtue and compatibility hasn't been what women use to decide who they end up with so far, It has always been finance, religion and physical spec. Not that I am supporting bad behaviour but I am just saying it based on what I see daily, also not every woman is like that.

I am just saying oh cheesy
It was just a joke. Such miracles are rare. What I expect a man to do for me, I can do for myself.
Re: New Realities. by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 3:59pm On Jun 19, 2022
truthsayer009:
@pans.ophist and @UyaiInc.omparabl

You pipu should allow this lady find her Japa husband in peace nau, ahn ahn!

Besides Uyi, weren't you exactly like this with all your former threads before?, even though we knew it was cruise. She could also be cruising as well. Character, virtue and compatibility hasn't been what women use to decide who they end up with so far, It has always been finance, religion and physical spec. Not that I am supporting bad behaviour but I am just saying it based on what I see daily, also not every woman is like that.

I am just saying oh cheesy

My dear, my posts are mainly for content and to garner traffic/comments. So, if anyone on here decides to judge me through my posts, their headache.

In as much as I support men taking care of their women and being responsible, I sincerely do not think that a man can give me 100% luxury except he's Ned Nwoko or an Otedola. So, why should I place my enjoyment on a man? If you have the ability, please move. The better sef.

Furthermore, waiting for a man to come and rescue you from Nigeria to the diaspora is like waiting in a fool's paradise. I love my man to be very responsible for me, but I certainly do not have a liability mindset. Well, she already said she was joking. So, I take it as so.
Re: New Realities. by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 4:02pm On Jun 19, 2022
Hafizah:
Thanks.. Working on it.. Was only joking about the post. Thanks fr the advice

It's fine, dear.
Re: New Realities. by emmaodet: 4:31pm On Jul 11, 2022
Hafizah:
Me sef want to japa oo.. May God bring that man into my life who will lead me out of this country. I promise to be the most supportive. loving and hardworking spouse you can think of.. Just give me a chance to meet and know you smiley smiley


grin grin grin grin grin

What poverty can not do, does not exist.
See how poverty don humble my sister.
Re: New Realities. by emmaodet: 4:41pm On Jul 11, 2022
Persephone1:
"Nigeria have cast"

The bolded reminds me of a guy's words to me few weeks ago. He said "if your daddy has a land or a house, sell it and Japa because Nigeria has cast" .
Another male friend offered to add me to his two friends to Japa to Dubai, when I get there I will get a job, and pay back all immigration costs and all. Lol this is someone who is romantically attracted to me, being trying his luck for years but I do not feel anything for. I knew that's just a death trap...
Definitely I won't sell my dad's house none any of his properties to Japa neither will I be in an entanglement because I want greener pastures. Aside these two ridiculous offers, a lot more were suggested that I had to ask myself how I got to this point and what I'm doing with this guys? ( I guess that's the lesson you get for having only males as friends! cheesy ) Some are really crazy I must say.

Moving on, I decided to go online to search for what I can do. And I saw it! While many are busy running from pillar to post trying to survive at a loss or two, wealth is right there steering at us abundance. We are just too short sighted to see it. We use phones to fight tribal wars, gender wars, to chase clout, for social media etc but we don't know we can actually make wealth from it.

Thing is Most Nigerians are myopic in nature, they are narrow-minded people who walk in one way. Not innovative in any way,They don't think to invent or improve.All they are good at is copy and paste. Once a way is through for one, others rush in until they overfill and overuse the opportunity.

Nigerians are educated but are hardly exposed. They believe you can't make it without hard labour or fraud. That way you either see them Japa to do the hard labour which the indigenes of the countries don't do or they engage in fraud or rituals.

Nigerian believe for one to make it, someone else must be at loss. A very absurd thinking that reflects in their dealings, one of the reasons most times a successful one will hardly show others the way because he or she knows it can come back to bite.

Untill Nigerian youth can seat to think and make ways out of their problem without thinking of easy route, they will continue to sacrifice so much to survive in places they aren't wanted!

As for parents who send children in their 30s and 40s abroad on loans, well I don't have anything against them. However any responsible being would try to avoid his or her parent going through such hurdle.

There are many reasons why people travel out but the one i don't subscribe much to is for greener pastures.
Nigeria is a 3rd world country. What does that mean? It means it is a country in process or not established and in this kind of economy, the illiterates are kind of the richest. It is an economy for hustlers and not white collar job seekers or employees. It is an economy of employers, entrepreneurs etc
I have seen far more rich illiterates or people who didn't go to school than graduates in nigeria.
The average educated graduate just want to finish school and then key into a working plan/sector/economy. They are not trained to see opportunities from little things reason why if you ask the average graduate what can they do or start with 1m? Most don't know. They will rather look for means to add to the money to japa or buy a car or rent an apartment and furnish it etc or an expensive phone etc.

1 Like

Re: New Realities. by PrimadonnaO(f): 9:25pm On Feb 15, 2023
@zicoraads, are you still in Nigeria?
Re: New Realities. by zicoraads: 5:47am On Feb 16, 2023
PrimadonnaO:
@zicoraads, are you still in Nigeria?
Hey Cupcake, of course, still very much am. cheesy
Re: New Realities. by PrimadonnaO(f): 8:00am On Feb 16, 2023
zicoraads:

Hey Cupcake, of course, still very much am. cheesy

Who are you voting for?

Certainly you're over the turn of events at the primaries.
Re: New Realities. by zicoraads: 8:54am On Feb 16, 2023
PrimadonnaO:


Who are you voting for?

Certainly you're over the turn of events at the primaries.
I am not voting on election day.

I am over it, but not interested in whatever outcome of next week's vote. None of the candidates resonate with me.
Re: New Realities. by PrimadonnaO(f): 9:20am On Feb 16, 2023
zicoraads:

I am not voting on election day.

I am over it, but not interested in whatever outcome of next week's vote. None of the candidates resonate with me.

Ahhhhh

You're a stubborn man, Zic.

Very stubborn.

I'll put you in prayers henceforth.
Re: New Realities. by zicoraads: 9:57am On Feb 16, 2023
PrimadonnaO:


Ahhhhh

You're a stubborn man, Zic.

Very stubborn.


I'll put you in prayers henceforth.
I know. cheesy

(1) (2) (3) (Reply)

Is It Still Important Teach Your Kids Your Tribal Language? / The Cloud Over My Life And My Marriage / Can You Make Love To Your Husband/wife Without Kissing

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 50
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.