₦airaland Forum

Demobbb:
We have come a long way from not having a cent , gave up my career to support his own career, raise our kids. Now he is a successful man . But i feel its now in vain.

Women. Lol

jus take baba to the oza room

CODED
I give up my career
MEANING
Once he is earning enough money, I'm never going to work again

Apologize and move on. I don't know how that is hard for you to do.
Then, you too stop behaving like a tout at home, show some decency and home training.
When your husband gets home, kneel down and beg him.

Demobbb:
Help me please. Me & my husband got into an argument. He said something that made me think he is putting a female friend’s feeling over mine

I guess i got so jeolosy & so angry withought thinking my immediate response was to raise my hand as it to throw something i was holding at him. I quickly realised what i was about to do & i stopped myself. I didnt hit him.

He was shocked too & he just said what kind of a wife is this. He also stated that action shows that i dont value him. I apologised yesterday but i woke up today feeling regret, and shame. Should i apologise again? But then the initial argurment i still feel like he was in the wrong?

***** Decided to add more Context***
A friend asked if my husband can provide a reference for a project shes doing.

my husband is normally busy & i gave her an excuse & said im not sure he will be able to do so.
I then mentioned this to my husband a few days later in passing and told him that she was asking for a reference but i had given an excuse.

The next day whilst at work he then texted me saying its ok she can bring the reference forms and he will sign them. Which i even replied are you sure please dont stress yourself. He then said her own family had provided us with references when needed so its ok he didnt mind but she should bring all necessary docs.

She then went to my hubbys office with her brother to get the forms signed. My husband signed them. She sent a message thanking me.

When my hubby came home he was unhappy because she didnt bring all required documents & there was a part he was unhappy with.

I then said why didnt you tell her if you where unhappy. Why did you sign. He then kept saying you brought this person to me its your fault.

I took my phone and texted her to edit the part that my husband was unhappy with. She responded saying fine she will edit.

But my husband was still not happy & was shouting at me that it was my fault. I then told him its ok let me just tell her not to use him as a reference anymore.

My husband then kept saying no dont send the message “YOU WANT ME TO LOOK BAD” & stopped me from sending the text. This is when withought thinking i raised my hand as if to throw the phone at him. Which i instantly regretted and still do. I apologised twice but now he wont talk to me & refused to eat .

My marriage means so much to me. We have come a long way from not having a cent , gave up my career to support his own career, raise our kids. Now he is a successful man . But i feel its now in vain

@bold:

Why do you feel everything (your sacrifice of 'giving up your career') is now in vain?

What does 'you have come a long way of not having a cent' mean?

If wishes were horses, where do you want your life to be right now?

bukatyne:
@bold:

Why do you feel everything (your sacrifice of 'giving up your career') is now in vain?

What does 'you have come a long way of not having a cent' mean?

If wishes were horses, where do you want your life to be right now?

We have both made sacrifices. He is a good husband. I have apologised again & i pray to God to never do this again. God forbid i destroy my narriage with my own hands.

Demobbb:
We have both made sacrifices. He is a good husband. I have apologised again & i pray to God to never do this again. God forbid i destroy my narriage with my own hands.

You have not answered any of my questions.

I haven't said either of you are bad. Of I understand the OP well, your husband stretched himself to attend to your friends because:
a. He is a people pleaser
b. He wants you to look good/influential to your friend

However, you need to address the root (which are your feelings).

So I would appreciate answers to my questions (if you don't mind).

Acidosis:
Women. Lol

Wondering why she needed to add that part....

Make God help person...

temi4fash:
Wondering why she needed to add that part....

Make God help person...

My brother. It is well.

Demobbb:
Help me please. Me & my husband got into an argument. He said something that made me think he is putting a female friend’s feeling over mine

I guess i got so jeolosy & so angry withought thinking my immediate response was to raise my hand as it to throw something i was holding at him. I quickly realised what i was about to do & i stopped myself. I didnt hit him.

He was shocked too & he just said what kind of a wife is this. He also stated that action shows that i dont value him. I apologised yesterday but i woke up today feeling regret, and shame. Should i apologise again? But then the initial argurment i still feel like he was in the wrong?

***** Decided to add more Context***
A friend asked if my husband can provide a reference for a project shes doing.

my husband is normally busy & i gave her an excuse & said im not sure he will be able to do so.
I then mentioned this to my husband a few days later in passing and told him that she was asking for a reference but i had given an excuse.

The next day whilst at work he then texted me saying its ok she can bring the reference forms and he will sign them. Which i even replied are you sure please dont stress yourself. He then said her own family had provided us with references when needed so its ok he didnt mind but she should bring all necessary docs.

She then went to my hubbys office with her brother to get the forms signed. My husband signed them. She sent a message thanking me.

When my hubby came home he was unhappy because she didnt bring all required documents & there was a part he was unhappy with.

I then said why didnt you tell her if you where unhappy. Why did you sign. He then kept saying you brought this person to me its your fault.

I took my phone and texted her to edit the part that my husband was unhappy with. She responded saying fine she will edit.

But my husband was still not happy & was shouting at me that it was my fault. I then told him its ok let me just tell her not to use him as a reference anymore.

My husband then kept saying no dont send the message “YOU WANT ME TO LOOK BAD” & stopped me from sending the text. This is when withought thinking i raised my hand as if to throw the phone at him. Which i instantly regretted and still do. I apologised twice but now he wont talk to me & refused to eat .

My marriage means so much to me. We have come a long way from not having a cent , gave up my career to support his own career, raise our kids. Now he is a successful man . But i feel its now in vain.

Too much over thinking issues. Can only happen in an African setting where something as inconsequential as this is regarded as something. Go and speak with him. After all you wrote "my husband" over a million times in that your write up. The man is not our husband so we can't do that for u

money121:
If your marriage means so much to you, Just apologies again
But so sure he av forgive you
And next tym try to control your temper it help alot
Your Union will not scatter oo

If her union scatters just cos of that issue. The. It was never a union in the first place. These are very little issues.

ahnie:
Apologize again as the oga above me said.








Pls note....ignore anybody that would tell you not to apologize again.

Communication is the key. She can apologize a million times with no effect. She should take it out with the man in question

WatchYourSix:
Ordinary apology....u have to come and ask strangers...why apologies dey hard women??

You Women are too emotional..
there's no time i would offend my girlfriend that she will not use emotions to scatter everything and end up being the bigger offender...
say simple sorry..she will not gree...she will now start posting dodo and catfish on her whatsapp status to bribe me to come to her place....

And you will jejely fall for the trap. lol

ahnie:
Apologize again as the oga above me said.








Pls note....ignore anybody that would tell you not to apologize again.

You are so right... Op should apologize.... It cost notin

Demobbb:
Help me please. Me & my husband got into an argument. He said something that made me think he is putting a female friend’s feeling over mine

I guess i got so jeolosy & so angry withought thinking my immediate response was to raise my hand as it to throw something i was holding at him. I quickly realised what i was about to do & i stopped myself. I didnt hit him.

He was shocked too & he just said what kind of a wife is this. He also stated that action shows that i dont value him. I apologised yesterday but i woke up today feeling regret, and shame. Should i apologise again? But then the initial argurment i still feel like he was in the wrong?

***** Decided to add more Context***
A friend asked if my husband can provide a reference for a project shes doing.

my husband is normally busy & i gave her an excuse & said im not sure he will be able to do so.
I then mentioned this to my husband a few days later in passing and told him that she was asking for a reference but i had given an excuse.

The next day whilst at work he then texted me saying its ok she can bring the reference forms and he will sign them. Which i even replied are you sure please dont stress yourself. He then said her own family had provided us with references when needed so its ok he didnt mind but she should bring all necessary docs.

She then went to my hubbys office with her brother to get the forms signed. My husband signed them. She sent a message thanking me.

When my hubby came home he was unhappy because she didnt bring all required documents & there was a part he was unhappy with.

I then said why didnt you tell her if you where unhappy. Why did you sign. He then kept saying you brought this person to me its your fault.

I took my phone and texted her to edit the part that my husband was unhappy with. She responded saying fine she will edit.

But my husband was still not happy & was shouting at me that it was my fault. I then told him its ok let me just tell her not to use him as a reference anymore.

My husband then kept saying no dont send the message “YOU WANT ME TO LOOK BAD” & stopped me from sending the text. This is when withought thinking i raised my hand as if to throw the phone at him. Which i instantly regretted and still do. I apologised twice but now he wont talk to me & refused to eat .

My marriage means so much to me. We have come a long way from not having a cent , gave up my career to support his own career, raise our kids. Now he is a successful man . But i feel its now in vain.

Stop over thinking...
He go calm down.. I'm sure he will be fine..

Just find time and discuss with him

Be doing anything you can to make sure you marriage is moving smoothly.Apology costs nothing.
Always make Him to be proud of you.
Don't do something that will make Him start regretting the marriage.
If a marriage enters into a breaking point to rescue it is often very difficult,so don't allow anything that may shake your marriage.
Additional information is in this video


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxwBBEciZEA