Couples Not Staying Together - Family (3)

Couples Not Staying Together - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Couples Not Staying Together by bigtt76(f): 5:32pm On Jul 06, 2022

See a psychologist please you could be heading into depression without knowing it or it seeming obvious to you.

KemeticPrince:
Hello guys!

I need an opinion on issues concerning my marriage.

I got married two years ago, although left to me i would never have gotten married but i had to as the only son of my parent.

I live separately from my wife(a house i built, while i live in a rented place) and although we live in the same state but i can't just seem to live or co-exist peacefully with any other person other than myself.

My wife has really been on my neck lately, she came to my house last week with our child and refused to go back after a week. I am tired and i just wish to be alone please.

I am not a deadbeat dad, i give her 100k every month for food and utilities.

I just want to be left alone, i don't hate her, infact i appreciate all she does but i just love doing things on my own. I'll love my family structure to be this way, i mean coming home to visit my kids(when i have more) and wife every two weeks.

3 Likes

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by Bignuell(m): 5:33pm On Jul 06, 2022

JBriel:
When will you answer your higher calling and be more spiritually active in kingdom affairs ?

Now your comment gat me hooked. You said scientist earlier, now you're saying higher calling, spiritual active, how do they correlate, do you mind explaining??

2 Likes

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by smile11s(m): 5:34pm On Jul 06, 2022

KemeticPrince:
Hello guys!

I need an opinion on issues concerning my marriage.

I got married two years ago, although left to me i would never have gotten married but i had to as the only son of my parent.

I live separately from my wife(a house i built, while i live in a rented place) and although we live in the same state but i can't just seem to live or co-exist peacefully with any other person other than myself.

My wife has really been on my neck lately, she came to my house last week with our child and refused to go back after a week. I am tired and i just wish to be alone please.

I am not a deadbeat dad, i give her 100k every month for food and utilities.

I just want to be left alone, i don't hate her, infact i appreciate all she does but i just love doing things on my own. I'll love my family structure to be this way, i mean coming home to visit my kids(when i have more) and wife every two weeks.

stay strong and be positive.

https://gist.am/question/my-wife-and-i-cant-just-seem-to-live-or-co-exist-peacefully-we-do-not-live-toge

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by descartes400: 5:35pm On Jul 06, 2022

KemeticPrince:
Hello guys!

I need an opinion on issues concerning my marriage.

I got married two years ago, although left to me i would never have gotten married but i had to as the only son of my parent.

I live separately from my wife(a house i built, while i live in a rented place) and although we live in the same state but i can't just seem to live or co-exist peacefully with any other person other than myself.

My wife has really been on my neck lately, she came to my house last week with our child and refused to go back after a week. I am tired and i just wish to be alone please.

I am not a deadbeat dad, i give her 100k every month for food and utilities.

I just want to be left alone, i don't hate her, infact i appreciate all she does but i just love doing things on my own. I'll love my family structure to be this way, i mean coming home to visit my kids(when i have more) and wife every two weeks.

My kind o person!
As an introvert, my personal space is not negotiable...l'm a lone wolf! There's this inner peace you have within your sphere of personal space,any intrusion from other persons tends to cause tumoil and great discomfort....should we change our intrinsic nature..the how we are wired to fit the narrative..the institution of marriage? undecided

1 Like

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by JBriel: 5:35pm On Jul 06, 2022

Bignuell:
Now your comment gat me hooked. You said scientist earlier, now you're saying higher calling, spiritual active, how do they correlate, do you mind explaining??

Can a scientist not be a Christian. Can a Christian not be a scientist?

2 Likes

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by litaninja(m): 5:36pm On Jul 06, 2022

You missed the way from the start.

You allowed society pressure you into marriage when that's clearly not what you want. Simply retrace your steps. You know what to do.

KemeticPrince:
Hello guys!

I need an opinion on issues concerning my marriage.

I got married two years ago, although left to me i would never have gotten married but i had to as the only son of my parent.

I live separately from my wife(a house i built, while i live in a rented place) and although we live in the same state but i can't just seem to live or co-exist peacefully with any other person other than myself.

My wife has really been on my neck lately, she came to my house last week with our child and refused to go back after a week. I am tired and i just wish to be alone please.

I am not a deadbeat dad, i give her 100k every month for food and utilities.

I just want to be left alone, i don't hate her, infact i appreciate all she does but i just love doing things on my own. I'll love my family structure to be this way, i mean coming home to visit my kids(when i have more) and wife every two weeks.

3 Likes

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by DrBrainstorm(m): 5:37pm On Jul 06, 2022

KemeticPrince:
What's this

I was born on the 28th of september.

Are you serious man? WTF!
SH*T! How could this be, reading your story, l felt a connection and now you have the same birth date with me. What are the chances?

1 Like

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by cavreek: 5:38pm On Jul 06, 2022

There should be balance to most things in life, don't be self centered u might regret ur action as u advance in age

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by Mystery9(m): 5:38pm On Jul 06, 2022

Inside life cool

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by DrBrainstorm(m): 5:39pm On Jul 06, 2022

JBriel:
You're supposed to be a scientist. A medical or research scientist. This is the origin of the aloneness

Your hatred for chaos has seen you created a fortress for yourself so you can process things and life, keeping things at an arm's length. So you can control everything around and in your existence and you are never caught off guard

There are deeper things about your personality and this forms your behaviors and habits. I'm sure no one has told you these things this deeply. If I begin..hmmm... I'll stop here.

You must find a way to live with chaos and stop hating it with so much hatred.

At the bolded, please can you shed some light? I share similar traits with OP and also the same birth date.

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by Nobody: 5:41pm On Jul 06, 2022

[quote author=KemeticPrince post=114459050][/quote] grin

Just get her pregnant again so she can return home ...Runaway Husband ..only Military personnel do what you are doing and their own case is understandable.

3 Likes

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by stopthecycle: 5:42pm On Jul 06, 2022

KemeticPrince:
Hello guys!

I need an opinion on issues concerning my marriage.

I got married two years ago, although left to me i would never have gotten married but i had to as the only son of my parent.

I live separately from my wife(a house i built, while i live in a rented place) and although we live in the same state but i can't just seem to live or co-exist peacefully with any other person other than myself.

My wife has really been on my neck lately, she came to my house last week with our child and refused to go back after a week. I am tired and i just wish to be alone please.

I am not a deadbeat dad, i give her 100k every month for food and utilities.

I just want to be left alone, i don't hate her, infact i appreciate all she does but i just love doing things on my own. I'll love my family structure to be this way, i mean coming home to visit my kids(when i have more) and wife every two weeks.

Be honest...Are you gay?

2 Likes

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by descartes400: 5:45pm On Jul 06, 2022

JBriel:
Let me guess.

You were a good science student. Infact an exceptional one

Your birth month is around September

Your soul is wrapped up and you need to unwrap. Yes, it may not be trauma induced and it may be how you're created. One must give room for this ideology.

One thing is certain like I said above, every human behavior can be unlearned. New habits can be developed. With this mindset, who and what is stopping you?

Damm! I was born in September too!

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by descartes400: 5:47pm On Jul 06, 2022

JBriel:
You're supposed to be a scientist. A medical or research scientist. This is the origin of the aloneness

Your hatred for chaos has seen you created a fortress for yourself so you can process things and life, keeping things at an arm's length. So you can control everything around and in your existence and you are never caught off guard

There are deeper things about your personality and this forms your behaviors and habits. I'm sure no one has told you these things this deeply. If I begin..hmmm... I'll stop here.

You must find a way to live with chaos and stop hating it with so much hatred.

The bolded is so me!

1 Like

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by Kajaard: 5:47pm On Jul 06, 2022

anthonyuncle:
you should've remained single.
now your desire to be called a good boy by your parents led you to getting an innocent girl into your sadistic life.

you worsened the situation by bringing a very angelic soul (that should have remained in heaven singing hossana) in the form of a child, into your pathetic life.

will all your properties to your wife and child,
go on an unending sorjourn in the desert, where you and the legions of demons that inhabit you will have the luxury of time and space to yourselves, until the hour comes for you to return to your home in hell fire to continue your hobby of gnashing of teeth.

nonsense

Lol

It's posts like this that makes me still stay back on this forum cheesy

God knows I would have left long ago with all the tribal hate speeches, male chauvinism/ toxic redpillism, toxic feminism et al undecided

2 Likes

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by sisisioge: 5:47pm On Jul 06, 2022

Wahala wear cover shoes fa grin

Long distance marriage inside the same state! Chai!

2 Likes

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by MrLankeeee(m): 5:48pm On Jul 06, 2022

JBriel:
Let me guess.

You were a good science student. Infact an exceptional one

Your birth month is around September

Your soul is wrapped up and you need to unwrap. Yes, it may not be trauma induced and it may be how you're created. One must give room for this ideology.

One thing is certain like I said above, every human behavior can be unlearned. New habits can be developed. With this mindset, who and what is stopping you?

Sir, pls I need more light on this. I have the same issue as OP. I’m not married though. But deep down within me I know I have same issue and I was born September 29.

2 Likes

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by Nobody: 5:49pm On Jul 06, 2022

No man that's a good man stays alone, all by himself.

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by dapotemi: 5:50pm On Jul 06, 2022

KemeticPrince:
Hello guys!

I need an opinion on issues concerning my marriage.

I got married two years ago, although left to me i would never have gotten married but i had to as the only son of my parent.

I live separately from my wife(a house i built, while i live in a rented place) and although we live in the same state but i can't just seem to live or co-exist peacefully with any other person other than myself.

My wife has really been on my neck lately, she came to my house last week with our child and refused to go back after a week. I am tired and i just wish to be alone please.

I am not a deadbeat dad, i give her 100k every month for food and utilities.

I just want to be left alone, i don't hate her, infact i appreciate all she does but i just love doing things on my own. I'll love my family structure to be this way, i mean coming home to visit my kids(when i have more) and wife every two weeks.

Hmmn you have a situation that needs to be dealt with and only you can do that!

During my undergraduate days, i have a friend in sch and we usually go to his mother's house together in ilorin, a very popular and big family in ilorin...One day, he said he will take me to visit his dad and that he has asked for approval and he's hopeful he will get it..Small me was asking, approval ke, from where to where? Approval came and we went visiting, same ilorin and the Dad, one big alhaji, very jovial, funny and outspoken, he loves his kid dearly, atleast that is what i notice. He told me a story and i won't forget. Alhaji had 4 wives (being a devoted muslim/wealthy), built 4 duplex in ilorin for each of the Alhajas, while Alhaji built another mansion for himself alone, living with cook, security men, gardener, a male P.A in B/Q etc...Alhaji said my son, referring to me, women are not the kinda of human someone should live with, their wahala is too much, i had to put them in different mansion, if i need anyone of them, i put a call,they come, and when we are done, they will leave....Everyone trains her child and get rewarded handsomely.....He believes just in giving money, just like you! I will not tell you how my friend turn out, not impressive though! i do not subscribe to this type of "life"...
When you get married, you MUST make it work for all its worth, this include "letting go" of some personality, making sacrifice..When you have a child, you MUST be ready to even make MORE SACRIFICE...As parent, whatever we do, look at your child and ask yourself if your decision is in his/her BEST interest...

5 Likes

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by rickleye: 5:50pm On Jul 06, 2022*

KemeticPrince:
Hello guys!

I need an opinion on issues concerning my marriage.

I got married two years ago, although left to me i would never have gotten married but i had to as the only son of my parent.

I live separately from my wife(a house i built, while i live in a rented place) and although we live in the same state but i can't just seem to live or co-exist peacefully with any other person other than myself.

My wife has really been on my neck lately, she came to my house last week with our child and refused to go back after a week. I am tired and i just wish to be alone please.

I am not a deadbeat dad, i give her 100k every month for food and utilities.

I just want to be left alone, i don't hate her, infact i appreciate all she does but i just love doing things on my own. I'll love my family structure to be this way, i mean coming home to visit my kids(when i have more) and wife every two weeks.

Now this is very interesting and as someone mentioned - Its about your personality. I will call it - The Clash of Personalities.
I myself had this Issue.
I don't wear jewelry as I find it suffocating and so engagement ring, school ring , whatever ring - I no wear !, It doesn't mean I don't love you, It just irks me and irritates me. No Pastor can change that feeling .

Now regarding your marriage - I recall when I decided to live in with my partner. It was going to be fun i said we can have sex anytime, I dont have to spend much money on restaurants etc ...... Yeah right !!!
My things were moved and shifted and rearranged. I said O ti o.
My pens , pencil , books and clothes were removed and replaced .. I said wait .. hold on....
I was told put on the black tie instead of the red... I said WT Hell !!!
My well arranged house simple living lifestyle just changed .. I said baby .... this ain't working for me. You are suffocating me. I don't see myself anymore in this your redecoration, relationship . I want out. And so we stayed our separate ways until I came across a book called " The act of marriage " .

You see, I had to work on myself .... I had stayed the playboy, single lifestyle for a long time and so my stuff were exactly where i wanted it to be and where i could remember . With her, I had to shout .. where are my socks or where are the keys ...... Oh hun they are there and there . I was furious as things It appeared my life was upside down as i now had to ask . Plus special areas that were mine alone , now became our area, our stuff and now that you have a kid - his area and his stuff.
In addition putting the Toilet seat up or down discussion ... Yikes !!!

I had to change my personality bit by bit to conform to the new reality. Couples.
And she had to gradually effect her change. I still have an area called the " Man cave " where my stuff is as it is and which gives my liberty.

So there are questions you have to ask yourself

- Do you want to continue the single lifestyle or change to a matured person.
- Being in a marriage or live in partner requires change in one's personality unless you want a baby mama syndrome.
- What you have described above is a baby mama syndrome. If so , then sit her down and let her know and her people know. It is very wicked of you if you do not do so.
- Talk with her - For me, at a point we slept in different rooms till i became comfortable sleeping in the same bed with someone .
- It seems you want the benefit of marriage without the responsibilities that come with it. I ain't knocking you bro , just saying the truth.

If you arent ready mentally for the change then let her go ..... But it seems to me your letting a good woman go for something you can work out and make work. My 2 cents.

7 Likes

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by Ktosin753: 5:55pm On Jul 06, 2022

JBriel:
Can a scientist not be a Christian. Can a Christian not be a scientist?

This guy is a confirmed scammer
https://www.nairaland.com/7201069/how-recoup-payment-someone-whom#114234590

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by frozen70(f): 6:01pm On Jul 06, 2022

KemeticPrince:
Hello guys!

I need an opinion on issues concerning my marriage.

I got married two years ago, although left to me i would never have gotten married but i had to as the only son of my parent.

I live separately from my wife(a house i built, while i live in a rented place) and although we live in the same state but i can't just seem to live or co-exist peacefully with any other person other than myself.

My wife has really been on my neck lately, she came to my house last week with our child and refused to go back after a week. I am tired and i just wish to be alone please.

I am not a deadbeat dad, i give her 100k every month for food and utilities.

I just want to be left alone, i don't hate her, infact i appreciate all she does but i just love doing things on my own. I'll love my family structure to be this way, i mean coming home to visit my kids(when i have more) and wife every two weeks.

What a life style

Have you ever discussed this with her or you just want her to understand your style of living

I think you should tell her exactly what you want so that she will understand that aspect

But don't complain if you find out that she has started having an extra affair

Every woman needs a man's touch

1 Like

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by maxiart2(m): 6:18pm On Jul 06, 2022

tayo60:
Married but single

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by iomoge2(f): 6:18pm On Jul 06, 2022

Staying in the same city makes it awkward.

Get a job far away and move.

I am a july born and feel this way too.

But then I am female and my kids are drawn to me and they are female.

I must keep them under my watch.

I know if I was a man. I would have preferred solitude.

Nothing is wrong with you.

For me I just hate the chaos and noise and scattering of the house and leaving your things around or touching things I keep.

I hate someone touching me when I sleep too. I could sleep at the edge of the bed.

Motherhood made me warm up to kids touching me.

2 Likes

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by ekitimanalways(m): 6:34pm On Jul 06, 2022

KemeticPrince:
Hello guys!

I need an opinion on issues concerning my marriage.

I got married two years ago, although left to me i would never have gotten married but i had to as the only son of my parent.

I live separately from my wife(a house i built, while i live in a rented place) and although we live in the same state but i can't just seem to live or co-exist peacefully with any other person other than myself.

My wife has really been on my neck lately, she came to my house last week with our child and refused to go back after a week. I am tired and i just wish to be alone please.

I am not a deadbeat dad, i give her 100k every month for food and utilities.

I just want to be left alone, i don't hate her, infact i appreciate all she does but i just love doing things on my own. I'll love my family structure to be this way, i mean coming home to visit my kids(when i have more) and wife every two weeks.

I guess you are an introvert.

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by kwasoly(m): 6:46pm On Jul 06, 2022

KemeticPrince:
Hello guys!

I need an opinion on issues concerning my marriage.

I got married two years ago, although left to me i would never have gotten married but i had to as the only son of my parent.

I live separately from my wife(a house i built, while i live in a rented place) and although we live in the same state but i can't just seem to live or co-exist peacefully with any other person other than myself.

My wife has really been on my neck lately, she came to my house last week with our child and refused to go back after a week. I am tired and i just wish to be alone please.

I am not a deadbeat dad, i give her 100k every month for food and utilities.

I just want to be left alone, i don't hate her, infact i appreciate all she does but i just love doing things on my own. I'll love my family structure to be this way, i mean coming home to visit my kids(when i have more) and wife every two weeks.

.

If your a gay tell us and stop all this nonsense of wanting to be alone.

2 Likes

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by judatech: 6:49pm On Jul 06, 2022

The most intelligent reply on NL

JBriel:
It's your personality no doubt. But thinking patterns, behavioral patterns are parts and parcels of our " individuality " we must all drop en-route marriage

The institution of marriage solicits giving up physical identity for couple identity. So, you're denying your wife what is rightfully hers by every right. Your company, your presence, your attention, your time.

Trust me I've seen many of how our intrinsic thinking patterns defrauds us to assume we can't do better, change, improve, do things differently but the truth is behaviors can be learnt. We can adjust and evolve.

You diagnosed the problems you have even in your words. " You just like to be alone " It is what forms after you've created a character around flawed ideologies and beliefs

You need therapy before you even connect with her. The ideas that forms this behavior must first be entangled so it stops isolating you and you learn new habits that shows you how to live, yes, how to truly live. How to be vulnerable, how to be open. How to love. How to feel again. How to feel worthy

If your feelings of unworthiness isn't resolved, even friendships would remain moribound and those thoughts have made you built a castle to imprison you in your thoughts, habits, behavioral patterns assuming the world is all evil that you need to shiled yourself from the world. Your thought patterns has imprisoned you

You need to be whole to love. You need to be whole to live. I recommend you find a long term behavioral coach to speak with. To take you by the hand and walk you into new pathways you can explore in life

Back to the issue of marriage. Marriage isn't just sexing. Marriage is " conjoining ". A man would cleave to his wife... Without cleaving, you're violating the marital institution my dear

Let go off whatever pains, heart breaks, dissapoinments that triggered the fear and behaviors that wants you imprisoned and start a new walk into a new path in life my dear.

Life is life. Life isn't all evil. Life can be what you create it to be for you

Everyone has limits, before you turn that woman into what you would regret, please find yourself and put yourself together

3 Likes

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by Hassanmaye(m): 6:50pm On Jul 06, 2022

KemeticPrince:
Hello guys!

I need an opinion on issues concerning my marriage.

I got married two years ago, although left to me i would never have gotten married but i had to as the only son of my parent.

I live separately from my wife(a house i built, while i live in a rented place) and although we live in the same state but i can't just seem to live or co-exist peacefully with any other person other than myself.

My wife has really been on my neck lately, she came to my house last week with our child and refused to go back after a week. I am tired and i just wish to be alone please.

I am not a deadbeat dad, i give her 100k every month for food and utilities.

I just want to be left alone, i don't hate her, infact i appreciate all she does but i just love doing things on my own. I'll love my family structure to be this way, i mean coming home to visit my kids(when i have more) and wife every two weeks.

You are exactly like me sir, I'm an introvert I love being on my own, it's only family pressure that's pushing to marry

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by pharmaking: 6:51pm On Jul 06, 2022

Nonsense story.

Comments self come be like say I dey read poem.

How can I say that my parents forced me to go to school, so I am going to attend classes but will never partake in CA and Exams.

Na so your matter be.

No worry, when your wife cannot withstand the loneliness again, she will find a compatible company, then u will wail back to this forum.

3 Likes

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by Hassanmaye(m): 6:52pm On Jul 06, 2022

KemeticPrince:
Nothing triggered my aloness. In my early twenties i always wondered why i loved being alone until i saw my primary school report card where my teacher's remark was that i wasn't friendly. The only reason i try to act friendly now that i am grown is because of business deals.

Hahahhahahaha

Re: Couples Not Staying Together by bigcee(m): 6:53pm On Jul 06, 2022

VeryWickedMan:
Give me her number lemme warn her

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