₦airaland Forum

KemeticPrince:
Hello guys!

I need an opinion on issues concerning my marriage.

I got married two years ago, although left to me i would never have gotten married but i had to as the only son of my parent.

I live separately from my wife(a house i built, while i live in a rented place) and although we live in the same state but i can't just seem to live or co-exist peacefully with any other person other than myself.

My wife has really been on my neck lately, she came to my house last week with our child and refused to go back after a week. I am tired and i just wish to be alone please.

I am not a deadbeat dad, i give her 100k every month for food and utilities.

I just want to be left alone, i don't hate her, infact i appreciate all she does but i just love doing things on my own. I'll love my family structure to be this way, i mean coming home to visit my kids(when i have more) and wife every two weeks.

Mentally, you are not ready for marriage

KemeticPrince:
Nothing triggered my aloness. In my early twenties i always wondered why i loved being alone until i saw my primary school report card where my teacher's remark was that i wasn't friendly. The only reason i try to act friendly now that i am grown is because of business deals.

Then you have a problem that can still be handled if you seek for help
But if you think or believe you don't have a problem, is a bigger problem

In my opinion.. you shouldn't have married. You could have simply pregnanted her and know u both just share/ have kid(s).
I believe you also failed to read, learn and understand the institution marriage..
You can still amend your ways and accept the nitigrity of the institution called marriage.
God show you more lead.

I dont know about other people but i actually fantasize this setting of marriage, there won't be unnecessary see finish and disrespect and invading of privacy that comes with living together at all times.
Also there will b time for u to miss each other and keep the love flame burning, as long as u are providing her emotional needs thru visits, calls and texts to show u care, sexual and financial needs,etc.
All these ppl that are judging u are doing so cus they are viewing it from their own comfortable point of view.
There are a 100 ways to do one thing.

KemeticPrince:
Hello guys!

I need an opinion on issues concerning my marriage.

I got married two years ago, although left to me i would never have gotten married but i had to as the only son of my parent.

I live separately from my wife(a house i built, while i live in a rented place) and although we live in the same state but i can't just seem to live or co-exist peacefully with any other person other than myself.

My wife has really been on my neck lately, she came to my house last week with our child and refused to go back after a week. I am tired and i just wish to be alone please.

I am not a deadbeat dad, i give her 100k every month for food and utilities.

I just want to be left alone, i don't hate her, infact i appreciate all she does but i just love doing things on my own. I'll love my family structure to be this way, i mean coming home to visit my kids(when i have more) and wife every two weeks.

Are u sure u are not gay....be sincere with yourself.
U should have worked on this things before getting married. Now u are suffering that lady

You are extremely selfish to have done what you did. You may end up finding a woman who you would want to truly be with later in life. You don't joke with marriage like that. It's very unfair for your wife

KemeticPrince:
Hello guys!

I need an opinion on issues concerning my marriage.

I got married two years ago, although left to me i would never have gotten married but i had to as the only son of my parent.

I live separately from my wife(a house i built, while i live in a rented place) and although we live in the same state but i can't just seem to live or co-exist peacefully with any other person other than myself.

My wife has really been on my neck lately, she came to my house last week with our child and refused to go back after a week. I am tired and i just wish to be alone please.

I am not a deadbeat dad, i give her 100k every month for food and utilities.

I just want to be left alone, i don't hate her, infact i appreciate all she does but i just love doing things on my own. I'll love my family structure to be this way, i mean coming home to visit my kids(when i have more) and wife every two weeks.

Bros you have to try and make adjustments in your life, especially now that you are married with children.
Learn to live in the same house with them.
If you don't, time shall come when you will need your family around you and you will not find them because they are used to living away from you.

Make the needed adjustments now.

anthonyuncle:
you should've remained single.
now your desire to be called a good boy by your parents led you to getting an innocent girl into your sadistic life.

you worsened the situation by bringing a very angelic soul (that should have remained in heaven singing hossana) in the form of a child, into your pathetic life.

will all your properties to your wife and child,
go on an unending sorjourn in the desert, where you and the legions of demons that inhabit you will have the luxury of time and space to yourselves, until the hour comes for you to return to your home in hell fire to continue your hobby of gnashing of teeth.


nonsense

JBriel:
It's your personality no doubt. But thinking patterns, behavioral patterns are parts and parcels of our " individuality " we must all drop en-route marriage

The institution of marriage solicits giving up physical identity for couple identity. So, you're denying your wife what is rightfully hers by every right. Your company, your presence, your attention, your time.

Trust me I've seen many of how our intrinsic thinking patterns defrauds us to assume we can't do better, change, improve, do things differently but the truth is behaviors can be learnt. We can adjust and evolve.

You diagnosed the problems you have even in your words. " You just like to be alone " It is what forms after you've created a character around flawed ideologies and beliefs.

You need therapy before you even connect with her. The ideas that forms this behavior must first be entangled so it stops isolating you and you learn new habits that shows you how to live, yes, how to truly live. How to be vulnerable, how to be open. How to love. How to feel again. How to feel worthy

If your feelings of unworthiness isn't resolved, even friendships would remain moribound and those thoughts have made you built a castle to imprison you in your thoughts, habits, behavioral patterns assuming the world is all evil that you need to shiled yourself from the world. Your thought patterns has imprisoned you

You need to be whole to love. You need to be whole to live. I recommend you find a long term behavioral coach to speak with. To take you by the hand and walk you into new pathways you can explore in life

Back to the issue of marriage. Marriage isn't just sexing. Marriage is " conjoining ". A man would cleave to his wife... Without cleaving, you're violating the marital institution my dear

Let go off whatever pains, heart breaks, dissapoinments that triggered the fear and behaviors that wants you imprisoned and start a new walk into a new path in life my dear.

Life is life. Life isn't all evil. Life can be what you create it to be for you

Everyone has limits, before you turn that woman into what you would regret, please find yourself and put yourself together

JBriel, God bless you, keep you and multiply your wisdom 1billion folds!!! You'll not know sorrow and everything good will come your way! Lol. You literally spoke my mind, word for word. I too, unfortunately, have first hand experience with a loner.

OP, you should have sought a loner like yourself to marry, because you knew what you were like before letting that poor, innocent woman into your sad and lonely world. Not everyone is like you and can understand your position, it is un-natural but there are sadists just like you out there with hearts of stone that you require. Surely you cannot desire love that you're incapable of giving. However now that you have deceived this woman into marriage with you, please make amends as JBriel has suggested.

Yes you are not meant to get married because your wife has done nothing wrong from the story you just told. Guy, you need help. You are not alright. You need a shrink

opeyy:
JBriel, God bless you, keep you and multiply your wisdom 1billion folds!!! You'll not know sorrow and everything good will come your way! Lol. You literally spoke my mind, word for word. I too, unfortunately, have first hand experience with a loner.

OP, you should have sought a loner like yourself to marry, because you knew what you were like before letting that poor, innocent woman into your sad and lonely world. Not everyone is like you and can understand your position, it is un-natural but there are sadists just like you out there with hearts of stone that you require. Surely you cannot desire love that you're incapable of giving. However now that you have deceived this woman into marriage with you, please make amends as JBriel has suggested.

How do you know that the op lives a sad and lonely life? Nawa for you.

JBriel:
Let me guess.


You were a good science student. Infact an exceptional one


Your birth month is around September



Your soul is wrapped up and you need to unwrap. Yes, it may not be trauma induced and it may be how you're created. One must give room for this ideology.


One thing is certain like I said above, every human behavior can be unlearned. New habits can be developed. With this mindset, who and what is stopping you?

Zodiac is shiit

LagosInter:
Zodiac is shiit

Na. I didn't Zodiac anything. It has nothing to do with Horoscope

JBriel:
Smiles. Isolation = unworthiness bro. Pushing love away = unworthiness. Clinging to inviodualism = unworthiness bro

I don't agree to this. You guys need to realize they are a certain type of people like that. They love to be alone most of the time, they enjoy their space, they don't get bored. The world is filled with all kinds of people. Infact, it's a strength not a weakness.

The only thing I think OP should have done was to go for his type.

JBriel:
Na. I didn't Zodiac anything. It has nothing to do with Horoscope

You were talking about his birth month influencing his behaviors and you say it isn't horoscope?

LagosInter:
You were talking about his birth month influencing his behaviors and you say it isn't horoscope?

Smiles. My dear. Christianity is layers deep abeg. Please

faithfull18:
I don't agree to this. You guys need to realize they are a certain type of people like that. They love to be alone most of the time, they enjoy their space, they don't get bored. The world is filled with all kinds of people. Infact, it's a strength not a weakness.

The only thing I think OP should have done was to go for his type.

And you think I'm not exactly the archetype?

Any marital situation where one partner drags another in a direction without their acknowledgement is akin to fraud

MadarasBlade:
How do you know that the op lives a sad and lonely life? Nawa for you.

Sad and lonely world to the people around him, not him, because to him, that's his best life.