Nozino:



All your children will be still births. Tears will never finish from your home.

I prayed for only 3boys and God has given them to me sound and handsome boys. Your course will only fall back to you. Just because I told you simple truth, you must have cursed someone who results back to sender, this is surely another one. And you will not miss it

Yeyeoldman:
It breaks my heart when I see people being fooled into believing they are loved unconditionally. People will conviniently walk away from you when the going gets tough.

I see everyone encouraging her to leave but no one is asking her the very important question; what would you have done if the child was yours? Why is nobody interested in the answer to that question? I have an idea, she will walk away. Stop excusing certain things in life.

Are you mad or just plain stupid? She has answered this question several times. Yes, she will take care of her child which is why she wants to exit the stage for the PARENTS of the child to do right by her. OP doesn’t know the child, she shouldn’t love her and she’s definitely not obligated to care for her .

H0711:


Unfortunately he can't afford to take the child anywhere. his younger sister has refused to come and help and I can't do it too. Being a single mother is not a death sentence I rather leave than carrying a burden which I didn't agreed for.first of all he didn't tell me anything about the child and her condition and why would I have to stay and suffer taking care of her including my own baby who will be born in 2 months time. If another woman would be happy to come and take care of the child is not my problem I wish her all the best.

It's clear that your mind is made up and I understand, but my only advice is: take a break and wait for him to figure out a way but don't you quit your marriage. That is not and will never be the solution, it will only compound things in the future.

Sterope:
It is real interesting that you guys don't stop talking about love. Lmao. Who knew Nigerians can love like this?

Cerebral palsy is no joke. That is your whole life gone. For someone else's child with no monetary support and a father that would leave her to it, let her make a decision that is best for her and the child.

Don't mind them.
They are staying on code.
Using all forms of manipulative tactics.

H0711:


Am 24

Oh!!!

You are still very young

HRHQueenPhil:


I can't imagine what u are going through
This is very wicked of the man
I wld advise u don't leave ur marriage
Every marriage has test and this is one of it
Two solutions
-get a good maid that can assist with looking after the child
- u can start a business that helps u support ur man and leave d house so u won't constantly be in pain
Remember to lift the child up in prayers and fasting so it shall be well with u as well

WHAT IS SHE GOING THROUGH PLEASE

H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.

get a live in minder or househelp to manage the sick child. This option will cost much less

H0711:


He is the same one the one who lost his wife. He has remarried

oh I see..
I feel ur pains..Even me too I can't take care of abnormal child let alone living with them..when I gave birth to my first issue, I quickly advice my wife to go for Scan, check the baby well, to know if he's heathy or otherwise..
Today I have two strong boys..
Those days in my school departmental class, we had a romantic argument that if a parent discovered that their offspring is abnormal, what should be the reaction of the parents, they thrown two options, should the parents keep the child and suffered the same reasons you wanted to leave ur marriage or terminate the child.. A brother in my class said if he discovered immediately that the offspring is slowpoke, he would terminate the offspring cos he can't face the stress that follows it..

How old is the girl now? Could it be the reason why ur husband didn't settled down with his girlfriend..
Why will ur husband kept this away from u..that's bad..
U said ur husband earned 15k as salary, how's he coping in an expensive state like abuja ..
My sis, it's with u..
Don't give up, u have a good heart from ur explanation of living with ur husband despite not having much money but u belief things will definitely change..
I still pray ur husband finds solution to whatever is making you to be inconvenience in your marriage cos I know you still love him..

It's well with u again..
Life no balance.. Even me wey dey reply u get so many things to yan..

iammarvellux:

I always tell people no matter how you sugar coat a lie, one day the coat will fall away thereby leaving the truth bare.
Truth can't be hidden.. now you seen the truth and your option is to share the grace and leave the marriage with another unborn child belonging to both of you..
Don't you think the neglect you have shown to this child with special needs will hunt you later in life..of cos the unborn child now has a step sister.

No man can run away from his shadows.

But op if I may ask you, how old is this Child with special need?

The mother that abandon her didn’t neglect her, the father that leaves her daily knowing fully well she can’t do anything for herself didn’t neglect her, it is OP that neglected her. You will run mad!

AfroKnight:
I think you should report the stoopid mother who dumped her own child with you. Then leave the marriage. A man who can hide a while child from you until after marriage is hiding other things. This is a dishonest man. Run.

This is a man who ran away from raising his child with special needs. You should come to terms with the fact that you will be a single mother. Life is not always fair.

Report kwa? She returned the child to the father after single handedly caring for her for 7years. The father should continue. Nr be Toto them take dy care for pikin

Lovelydaisies:
OP, are you leaving because he lied or because of the child who's been dropped with you or both? Do you still love each other?

The OP has made up her mind. I pity the man and the daughter who's caught up in this difficult situation.

Let God intervene because words will be flying here and there but what's the best decision?

OP, a separation, not divorce, would be best for now until oga shows remorse/apologizes and a working solution has been reached. You don't want to raise your soon-to-be born child outside wedlock. Please, reconsider.

Maybe search for agencies that handle such issues. God bless you.

Stop using God's name to try to emotionally blackmail the OP into accepting your nonsensical advice there.

How can a child born to a married women be said to be born out of wedlock? You high on wall paint abi wetin?

A working solution to what exactly? Her marriage or your delusions of what is her marriage?

H0711:
I got married two months ago. I am 7 months pregnant my husband didn't tell me he had a child from his previous relationship and the child has a disability celebral palsy. Her mother came to dropped her off in my house saying she has done enough and she's tired it is now hubby turn to take care of her.

The child can't do anything for herself she can't sit, talk, walk and she does toilet in her clothes. I can't do it anymore I love children because I have taken care of my own nieces and nephews before I would have taken care of her if she was normal but taking care of a child in this question is hard and if her own mother has had enough she abandoned her and why would I kill myself taking care of her in my condition.

I want to divorce and go back to my village I have told him i am leaving next month. He is pleading with me not to leave him that he will take the child somewhere else but the place is not free he has to be paying like 200k monthly for them to take care of the child and he doesn't even have that amount of money because he is not financial stable.

I will stick to my decision but I want to know what will other people do in my situation.

Nnem I won’t blame you ooh. Do what you must do. If the mother can abandon the child, how much more you?

Yeyeoldman:
It breaks my heart when I see people being fooled into believing they are loved unconditionally. People will conviniently walk away from you when the going gets tough.

I see everyone encouraging her to leave but no one is asking her the very important question; what would you have done if the child was yours? Why is nobody interested in the answer to that question? I have an idea, she will walk away. Stop excusing certain things in life.

Oga, the birth mother of the child 'abandoned' the child. The OP herself has said if it were her child, she herself would take care of it. Abi you didn't see it? You didn't blame the birth mother, or the child's father for deceit but come around to blame the lady for wanting to leave?

ALLNIGERIANSMAD:
I prayed for only 3boys and God has given them to me sound and handsome boys. Your course will only fall back to you. Just because I told you simple truth, you must have cursed someone who results back to sender, this is surely another one. And you will not miss it

What you wished and implied on OPs baby will happen to your 3boys.

It is also not unusual for a family to lose all their children in one day. Shey you want to be demonic?

TheFacelessMan:


The Nozino guy is jobless. Written more than 10 comments on the issue. Probably has siblings cursed with cerebral palsy. See his obvious lack of hometraining.

na childishness de worry am

Nozino:



What you wished and implied on OPs baby will happen to your 3boys.

It is also not unusual for a family to lose all their children in one day. Shey you want to be demonic?

you be witch abi, Ogun kill you. It's too late, you can't do my boys anything. They are now stronger than you think

MediMedi:
poor girl, you're leaving cause you have seen the said man broke and can't cartel for your expenses.
bad wife

Thank you for describing your mother.

H0711:


Yes I have made up my mind because it has not been easy for me because i take care of her everyday from morning until hubby get home at 7-8pm . It's been a week only and my head want to explode and my body want to give up. I am tired and the level of stress is too much for me in this my condition I need rest not all of this burden . I can't do it anymore. I am not leaving him because of his poor condition it is because I can't take care of his special need child , his financial state hasn't been a problem to me because no condition is permanent I know one day everything will be fine but i can't take care of his special need child in this my condition.

difficult, but it is not bad for u to rest.

ALLNIGERIANSMAD:
you be witch abi, Ogun kill you. It's too late, you can't do my boys anything. They are now stronger than you think

Ok oooo

MediMedi:
poor girl, you're leaving cause you have seen the said man broke and can't cartel for your expenses.
bad wife

Thank you, she's leaving next month on the 4th

By next year you will start sending sos messages for help beginning with zero eight zero ..,......

Blessedmercy8:


You know @ the bold is not possible na. .

Oh.. you think accepting him in his poor state is doing him a big fav, right?
I'm very sure if pregnancy didn't happen you wouldn't have married him. So not like you married him in his poor state with your clear mind or your whole heart and the more reason you're not willing to accept his totality. This boils down to not thinking before you act like you're about doing now again.

You want to pack up a marriage under two months. Are you even thinking at all? Hian!

What's your point?? You're trying so hard to put her into a corner?? In as much as you are giving her advice, but your choice of words are totally uncalled for. You started with accusing her of being in the rship cos of sex...if she insults u now, it will be that she's rude, but u started it. U think that u can really find out everything about someone? Atimes ppl allow u see the only thing they want u to see. From all indication, the man hid the existence of the child, yes she might have probed, but that doesn't mean she would discover. Taking care of a child in that condition, coupled with her condition, she MUST need help, emphasis on must. Because, maintaining the hygiene might even predispose her on baby to infection. Stuffs like this is not what you barge someone into doing, I completely understand her situation. At this point she needs to be pampered being her first preg

H0711:


You are trying to manipulate me it will not work in Jesus name. If you care enough come and join him so you can help him to take care of the child. I bet you will not even stay for 10 mins you will run and go back to where you came from

who is this wan sef, you brought your ass to public domain and asked for opinions which I'm giving you, moreover, did I ask you to take care of the child? I kept hammering that u tell him to take the child elsewhere while u stay with your man cos I'm not in support of divorce except when it involves domestic violence, I don't even blame you, he was never your husband, you were only cohabitating that's why you were seven months gone after 2months of marriage. I'm tryna help you and you're here talking nonsense. U can leave him and jump to another man and get pregnant, this time around what you'll discover about him after you're 8½ months pregnant would be worse. Mtcheeeew

H0711:




Thank you . Right now he can't afford that 200k monthly , his younger sister has refused to come and help taking care of the child. Me too I can't kill myself in my condition and I will leave next month.

Pls follow ur heart and japa. There is no nobility in suffering. He concealed such info from you. Run and go take care of your own kid

Why not get a nanny that will take 20-30k per month and the girl will be with you people instead of taking her somewhere for 200k

All I can say is that, this thread just shows that they are a lot of mad people in Nigeria. One was even blaming the woman for not finding out on time, are you MAD?

Madam, please leave. You can't throw your life away for a wicked man. The fact that he could allow the mother take care of the child for 7 long years without doing anything shows that he's wicked. There's nothing to be gained from staying in such a union.

afadi2410:
Your husband can't throw away his child and believe me,it will be difficult to take care of that child even if you are the mum.The girls mum did not do well by giving up on her child because she is the only one equipped enough to take care of her own child.

Why isn’t anyone asking the father to take care of his child? The mother took care of her for 7years without any financial support. Why can’t the man take care of her? Why ?

luluosas:
You must be stupid for considering divorce. Are you really married to him or he just impregnated you and you ended up calling your boyfriend your husband?

You're the stupid fool here, carry your sister or mother and dash the man let them take care of the physically challenged child themselves. Morons everywhere

wowcatty:
If that child was her own, she won't take care of him or her? It's called selfless service and it's incovenient but rewarding. Have you thought about maybe she is carrying one just like that and God wants to see how she would accept this one and then use that to change it for good in her favor?

Simply donate your own sister to go and take care of the physically challenged child. It's that simple

Le2money:
U lack knowledge and sense bro. Because the child has one illness now and she wants to go, does it means the child in her womb is purely free? Do to others what u want others to do for you in ur presence and absence. The only thing they are do here is to have the guy's mother to come live with them for her to be assisting. Face your problems and never run away from it ...that's always my blv

Donate your sister to the man, simple

Nozino:



All your sisters and daughters will experience such marriages. So they too can persevere.

I don't join issue with psychiatric patient