₦airaland Forum

Amya:
Sheggs strikes me as a narcissist. I'll delve on why i think he is later. I'm seeing a whole lot of red flags that only people who been with narcissists can see.

Eeghe:
I cringe in so many languages

shawnmendes:
Bella is condescending AF. She’s okay if her MAN disrespects anyone but her because in her mind she’s the special one but gets in her feelings when he redirects his bad attitude to her.
They deserve each other.

MissAnneboleyn:
Threebear is a Guesstimator.

A guesstimator may make an educated guess at something for which no better information will become available.

MamBi:
Phyna - I didn’t know Groovy was liking me

PimpasParadise:
To me, Phyna already has her 100million in a groovy pattern, I mean she's bubbling lol

Geezeem:
I will be waiting for it.... until then, I am discarding your assertion

safarigirl:
Exactly.

Na since I don sabi say the guy na manipulator.

He has serious abusive tendencies. Anybody that argues this is either not watching this show, or is unfamiliar with how abusers operate.

thatigboman1:
Groovy doesn't like her one bit. She's just deluded.

eleshin:
I just hope level 2 hms wins HOH on Monday or they go back to the normal nomination process.

jamesbridget13:
I think she is okay with Groovy. 100M can get out

kUNLEMYBARBECUE:
He is not that smart if not he for cooperate with pharmacist to defeat Kunle for that HoH that is sending him home

Geezeem:
E pain you say he no gree for your geh... she beg tire, he refused

Eeghe:
Please read snippets on the thread …that’s exactly the short exchange that happened and to which we we were reacting

But for some more context- she asked him to either accept her for who she is while she works on herself (her words ) to go easy with the insults on him, or to stop talking to her if he can’t accept her…
…Deji chose the latter and she acted like she did not hear that… and continued stuff like keeping her feet under his body (for warmth- he told her stop and to get socks, she has red socks on now), acting sexy and all and it was not good

He told her she fights everybody, including Dotun her person, she narrowed the fights down to 3 people, and from which one has apologized to her.
He told her “if you fight so much with people maybe you are the problem”.

The guy also, on her prompt, told her the person he may be attracted to is Chichi, her face fell and it looked as if she. would borrow sense, but after some milli-seconds, she plunged on

I think she bought the “troublesome tag” he labeled her with, cos she is now telling Ally her interpersonal history

She also tried to see if he was jealous he saw her gisting with Bryann, apparently they had a talking session at the party, it turned out he wasn’t/isn’t jealous
He also wasn’t jealous of Cyph
I hated the bored and contempt- filled way he was talking to her, but she brought it upon herself full time

thatigboman1:
leave my doyin for me.
Incase u don't know, all the housemates are pure actors hustling for 100M. Dont take anything any of them says or does serious, except that disqualified mad housemate beauty.

safarigirl:
Parading themselves for Deji, fawning over him. A pathetic pair, no wonder they are such great friends.

Geezeem:
I am arguing it

Sheggz started taking drags from the very first night

Before he even approached Bella

People started with his shirt that night (I was among) to the way he walks....to his body and his football career....

They questioned everything. People had to dig out his club picture to kill that fake footballer rumour.... then another one surfaced, he is woman beater yet no one has come forth since to accuse him

Sheggz was just an easy target

Beorn:
The height of the gossip was Allyson telling Doyin there is "something there between her and Hermes but she doesn't know what it is". Even Doyin was shocked.

Thunder will fire Kunle if he ever accepts that disloyal girl back.

Amya:
Exactly!

I spent most of today pondering on Sheggs personality. A whole lot of what people are awwing at is only the beginning phase of a typical narcissistic abusive relationship. This might be the first narcissistic ship in BBN till date.

Zudd:
Last night..

Bella - 'Don't ever call me 'babe' again. I'm not your baby'

This morning...

Sheggz - Babe

Bella - Hmmm

Geezeem:
How grand of you!
So sheggz is not hustling for 100m?
Your man eater fave should be cut a slack but not Sheggz?

indeed

thatigboman1:
footballer footballer, that's what I have been hearing since launch show.
Which football club does he play for exactly? With that otondo body.

Amya:
Exactly!

I spent most of today pondering on Sheggs personality. A whole lot of what people are awwing at is only the beginning phase of a typical narcissistic abusive relationship. This might be the first narcissistic ship in BBN till date.

Geezeem:
I can't help you if you haven't been following his story about his football career and what happened to him

thatigboman1:
very funny. Seems u are watching big brother timbuktu. The mad failed footballer is the one begging and ass sniffing.

Amya:
I'd earlier said i was going to expatiate more on the narcissistic traits i see in Sheggs and maybe educate someone too in the process. Who knows, i might even save a life today.

Narcissists have a particular image they want to project. They would do anything to be seen in the light they want to be seen in. They want to be seen as the perfect person, the perfect spouse, the perfect parent etc. The fabric of their very own existence is created by others view of them. They're empty inside and need a lot of external validation, adulation and attention. If anything gets in the way of the perfect picture they want to project, then the blame goes to anybody but them. They would throw anyone under the bus, start the most ridiculous smear campaign, do any and everything to ensure their white remain unstained. It's not them, it's you. lol.

Narcissists have three Phase they're universally known with. The Love-bombing Phase, The Devaluation Phase and Finally, the Discard Phase. The Phases are sometimes one off, or go around in vicious cycles.

In the Love-bombing Phase, It just feels too good to be true. The target is loaded with over the top amount of affection. flattery, praise, very early in the relationship in other to win over the target. But most important of all, even the above listed is that they say exactly what their target wants to hear.

Sheggs came into the house and set his sights on Bella. I would think that she made the perfect target for him because her stoic personality made her a challenge and narcissists love a good challenge. I remember him saying she didn't look at him twice when he came in and that's why he set his sights on her.
The supply narcissist get from cracking the hardest rock is quite exhilarating. Sheggs went further to love-bomb Bella. He keyed into her deepest desires and brought them forth with his words. In the first few days of their meeting, he's already talking marriage, kids and the beautiful perfect life they'd have together. He talked about how perfect they are together and how everyone envies their love. Slowly Bella's stoic self begins to break and she fell yakata. We see it in the way she gazes into his eyes, the lingering touches and the blooming intimacy.

Now that he knows he has her in the palm of his hands, her moves for phase 1 round 2 ALIENATION. Narcissist will never be successful in being narcissists if they're unable to completely alienate their prey. He's not so comfortable with her creating deep bonds with others, He doesn't want her to dance with the guys etc. As a Narcissists succeeds with the alienating their prey, they proceed further.

They invalidate your feeling. I've seen this play out with Sheggs and Bella. When she tells him about something he did that she did not like, he blames her for feeling that way or causing it. Narcissist are self consumed individuals. Their needs come first. They like to have power and control over you and make you subservient to their needs. It's always all about them. Your emotions and priorities are something they don't care about. They will make you feel less then any chance they get. They will say you're naïve and that there's something wrong with you. They would keep trying to push and shape you into what they think their perfect mate should be like. You dare not be yourself. They keep on pushing your boundaries and if you keep adjusting just because you hate wahala and love peace, thinking they'll leave you alone. For wia! They'll never stop pushing and pushing and pushing. They slowly chip away at your self esteem and sense of self, till you lose yourself.

Unfortunately, there a lot of people who have found themselves in that vicious narcissistic cycle and can't get away. They begin to truly believe they're the ones with the actual problem because they've been gaslit to the moon. They keep thinking maybe if they do more or become better their spouse will change, but no, they simple don't change. The Narcissist will call it a day when they no longer have a need for you and brutally kick you to the curb.



Two months and two weeks is a short time to witness the full scale of a narcissistic abuse in the BBN house ,but as we've been seeing with Sheggs some of this character flaws as i wrote above still peeks through. For Bella's sake, i hope she somehow does not get sucked into a life of pain with this guy, if not, last night's tears is only the beginning of her woes.


Run Bella, Run!