₦airaland Forum

Blessedmercy8:
Hmm... Must be coming from a place of painful experience, I guess.

Not really

emmanuelbrown26:
Not really

Ok.

I have a question to ask you, did the two of you date or court before talking of marriage? I am sure if you dated or courted her, you would have seen this things which you are complaining of here. I will state categorically that you had very good restraints (shock absorber) as a man and did not hit her since. No body born of a woman will sit idly and listen to someone rubbish or talk about their parents during quarells with anyone. You struck her for including your mother in the issue that concerns the both of you and not because she talks to you anyhow or shouts on you which is also a disgrace in public. The deed has been done and you need to calm yourself down. You said you are tired of the marriage, if she too is feeling same, it is best for the two of you to separate so as to avoid bloodshed.

simpsimp...

Blessedmercy8:
See, this advice is good. As in very good but one downside of it is that with such women, this can't work because that is when they'll see you as a weak man and the next thing they'll come hit you first.

Ive witnessed this kind of scenario before that's why I'm sounding this way.

A woman in my former compound, because the man is always avoiding hitting her, she now grew from verbally abusing and insulting the man to hitting him first. Still the man was like, 'I don't want to kill this woman" until people in the compound started insulting this man that you that can't handle your wife want to talk to me. The day this man jack her up by the neck and smashed her against the wall that everybody thought she had crashed, that was the day she started respecting the man; Since after 15yrs of marriage.

Before I left that compound, if the man is talking, she'll just be walking far.

..this story made my day

The verbally, emotionally and yet physically abusive gender still mouthing trash. When the useless sadistic rats verbally and emotionally abuse a woman, unprovoked, they should be whipped mercilessly. Arrogantly abusive dolts.

Troubledman:
So this night. I did a horrible thing. I stuck my wife thrice on her back. Yes, I know it's horrible and I should be burnt at the stake. And I am truly sorry for it but... There's always s back story.

I went through university without ever getting into a fight. I swore of physical violence since 2005. I havent raised my hands at anyone ever. Not to defend myself. Not to fight. In those years. I don't even let people fight aroujd me. I am known everywhere as the peace keeper. Which is why I feel very horrible about my action tonight.

Since we got married. I have noticed this trait of aggression in the person I married. Always quick to anger and insults everytime. In the last couple of days. We've had course to stay with my mum.

Earlier in the day. We were arguing about something (not so important to be honest) and my mum remarked that we should do better that were a new couple and we shouldn't be arguing like this all the time. She even joked that she was going to buy a cane for both of us.

Barely 2 mins later another discussion came up and this lady started raising her voice again. This time in full view of my mum. I just kept telling her please take it easy, take it easy. I even mentioned to her that this was what mummy was just telling us about. She would not bulge. Eventually my mum chipped in and said to me to keep quiet. So I did. When she finished shouting she stood up and left for the room.

After a while , my mother went into the room to talk to her. Even asked her not to be annoyed. Invited her to eat. She brought the food to me but I was too annoyed to eat. How is my wife shouting at me in front of my mum ? So I walked away, went out for a stroll. When I came back. She was in the room, she I stayed back in the living room. She came to me, started telling me that I should not let her be angry at me, changing the story that I was shouting at her earlier and she didn't say a word, I was livid but this didn't tip me. I just told her off and went back to do my work. She came back again started off another tirade in the middle of the night btw and ended it with saying "your mother is responsible for this"

Now, that's what made me mad. From the start I have warned my family not to interfere in mine. Not my dad or my mum have ever told me or directed me on how to do in my marriage to her. I imagine that because her display was in public today that's why my mum commented. Even on Wednesday she was talking to me harshly in the car and my mum was there and she never talked.

So anyway I stood up from where I was went to meet her and struck her about 3 times in the back warning her never to involve My mother in our talk again.

Then she shouted screaming at 2 am. Cursing me. Mt mum came out to even try to calm her down. She turned to my mum as well. Saying she knows what she'll say. That she supports me etc. Even when the poor woman didnt say anything. She's gone off now. Milking it. Saying I beat her. Should I add that she came back slapped me square on the face, hit my chest. Even dragged my mother to the floor

But everyone is on me. I'm the woman beater. Domestic violence.

Honestly, I'm just tired of this marriage. I married for peace this woman gives me trouble everyday. I chose to stay in the living room for peace tonight. She brought her madness to meet me.

I agree I messed up. I perhaps shouldn't have hit her. I regret it. It's going to go with me. But I was too pushed. She continues to do this knowing I wouldn't talk and st the time I believed that's the only thing she'd respond too. I know this could probably get me a lot of hate but I'm also hoping someone could see reason in what's happening

Im sorry it's so long. I didn't think about it. I just created this account and started writing. Apologies for likely typos too

TroubledMan

Divorce her bro.

Any woman that can't give you peace needs to leave. Don't tolerate nonsense cause
Of love or society. They're many many good women out there.

drmikeadams:
..this story made my day

Women deserves some slaps to reset their brain cell, without it, a man is doomed for life

Troubledman:
So this night. I did a horrible thing. I stuck my wife thrice on her back. Yes, I know it's horrible and I should be burnt at the stake. And I am truly sorry for it but... There's always s back story.

I went through university without ever getting into a fight. I swore of physical violence since 2005. I havent raised my hands at anyone ever. Not to defend myself. Not to fight. In those years. I don't even let people fight aroujd me. I am known everywhere as the peace keeper. Which is why I feel very horrible about my action tonight.

Since we got married. I have noticed this trait of aggression in the person I married. Always quick to anger and insults everytime. In the last couple of days. We've had course to stay with my mum.

Earlier in the day. We were arguing about something (not so important to be honest) and my mum remarked that we should do better that were a new couple and we shouldn't be arguing like this all the time. She even joked that she was going to buy a cane for both of us.

Barely 2 mins later another discussion came up and this lady started raising her voice again. This time in full view of my mum. I just kept telling her please take it easy, take it easy. I even mentioned to her that this was what mummy was just telling us about. She would not bulge. Eventually my mum chipped in and said to me to keep quiet. So I did. When she finished shouting she stood up and left for the room.

After a while , my mother went into the room to talk to her. Even asked her not to be annoyed. Invited her to eat. She brought the food to me but I was too annoyed to eat. How is my wife shouting at me in front of my mum ? So I walked away, went out for a stroll. When I came back. She was in the room, she I stayed back in the living room. She came to me, started telling me that I should not let her be angry at me, changing the story that I was shouting at her earlier and she didn't say a word, I was livid but this didn't tip me. I just told her off and went back to do my work. She came back again started off another tirade in the middle of the night btw and ended it with saying "your mother is responsible for this"

Now, that's what made me mad. From the start I have warned my family not to interfere in mine. Not my dad or my mum have ever told me or directed me on how to do in my marriage to her. I imagine that because her display was in public today that's why my mum commented. Even on Wednesday she was talking to me harshly in the car and my mum was there and she never talked.

So anyway I stood up from where I was went to meet her and struck her about 3 times in the back warning her never to involve My mother in our talk again.

Then she shouted screaming at 2 am. Cursing me. Mt mum came out to even try to calm her down. She turned to my mum as well. Saying she knows what she'll say. That she supports me etc. Even when the poor woman didnt say anything. She's gone off now. Milking it. Saying I beat her. Should I add that she came back slapped me square on the face, hit my chest. Even dragged my mother to the floor

But everyone is on me. I'm the woman beater. Domestic violence.

Honestly, I'm just tired of this marriage. I married for peace this woman gives me trouble everyday. I chose to stay in the living room for peace tonight. She brought her madness to meet me.

I agree I messed up. I perhaps shouldn't have hit her. I regret it. It's going to go with me. But I was too pushed. She continues to do this knowing I wouldn't talk and st the time I believed that's the only thing she'd respond too. I know this could probably get me a lot of hate but I'm also hoping someone could see reason in what's happening

Im sorry it's so long. I didn't think about it. I just created this account and started writing. Apologies for likely typos too

TroubledMan

Please can you stop begging her and her parents? If that woman has not seen anything wrong with her actions, begging her will only boost her ego. Which kin begging up and down? You have not made that woman understand that you are a man. I know very hot tempered women who became very calm when they got married. Their husbands are very quiet o but how they were able to prove to their wives that they wont rake nonsense is applaudable. Oga, any day she walks back to the house sit her down and tell her you wont tolerate nonsense anymore. Life is too complex to live it with a difficult spouse. Don't be miserly with words, tell her how you feel. When she raises her voice, raise your own voice and tell her to shut the hell up! No be everything them dey beg up and down fa. The parents spoilt her and she carried her madness to your house.

Stop being servile under any guise. In fact, you are the cause of your problem, citing the fact that you believe that even your just retaliatory action - however unpalatable it sounds - against her intentional and unjust abuse towards you and your mother is bad. Maybe, you have not told the truth about who the main instigator of the rift between the two of you is.

Meanwhile, there is nothing mature and manly about a man, and vice versa, walking out of the house just to avoid/stop an altercation with a woman who is foolish enough not to allow principle to take precedence over expediency/her pettiness. Most of you have poor concepts of respect/maturity and strong person, which is while you lots have always resorted to using servility to sustain peace and still called it respect - if servile; or using unjust cruelty to command obedience - if domineering - and mistaking it for having a diligent/submissive wife.

Servility is as bad as unjust cruelty; say no to both of them.

Troubledman:
I never wanted to involve parents or friends. But she brought them in, in a spate of anger in December last year. When I saw some incriminating things on her phone and left the house. She called all my family, my friends, her family. Reporting me for leaving the house.

When my family tried to get involved then, I told them to stay out of it as it was my family issue. So my own family has never been involved. They're involvement now is because we've been paying a visit here for about a week now and she decided to act up in the presence of my mum.

Other times she waits to get into the room before shouting, but yesterday was really a shock to me. Shouting at me in the presence of my mum.

Ironically, she's going about telling people that I was the one shouting at her, which is a big fat lie, I swear on it. I respect my mother too much to shout in front of her. Heck even in the middle of the night. My mother still told me to apologize to her and I did. She made me apologize thrice.

So sorry about that
Just do what will bring back peace to your home.
Atimes we just need to forget about somethings , just to make sure we are at peace with ourselves.

Lexusgs430:
Both of you need professional counselling.........

For hitting your wife, that is a complete NO NO ...... Rather than strike a woman, simply walkaway, count 1-200 and don't say a word ........ Your wife needs to lodge a complaint at the police station .........

Ur wife can drag ur mother to the ground in front of u abi??

Weyrey

My take is that you should acknowledge that you are as much the problem as your wife. Your own contribution to your family challenges just manifests differently from hers. Why do I say so?

1. You allowed a series of concerns with your wife's actions to simmer overtime until it got out of hand and you felt so helpless that you resorted to beating her.

2. You called her father to apologize and you also reported her to her best friend. You are not married to her father and her best friend is not in a party relationship with both of you.

This marriage is a relationship between you and your wife and no one else. I think this is an opportunity for you two to sit down and do what you obviously failed to do before you got married.

Have a sit down with your wife. Apologize for raising your hands against her and let her know it is wrong, as no man should ever do that under any circumstance. When a man resorts to violence at home, it is evidence that he has failed to resolve a problem in the right way. There is no problem that cannot be resolved in a relationship. Tell your wife your expectations of her as a wife. Respect, loyalty, no recourse to anger and dirty words, etc. You need to think deeply about this and be clear. Also let her know your own responsibility towards her :Respect, taking her thought and feelings into consideration, not bringing others into your relationship, paying serious attention to her thoughts and views before you make decisions. Then give her an opportunity to set down her expectations of you as her husband and also set her own responsibilities towards you.

This conversation, which should be mutually very respectful, will help both of you determine if you should stay married. It may be that you are two individuals unsuitable for each other who simply jumped into marriage for whatever reason. You are fortunate that you have not yet brought a child into this toxic environment that you both created. It may be that one or both of you have serious anger management issues that require professional intervention. But you will both know what you are doing together. You should both be courageous enough to also discuss if it is time you pack it up. How on earth can an arrangement that was made to make each of you to be happier together than you will be if you stay single, lead to such an adversarial relationship?

Get your act together. Don't wait until you are so provoked that you kill or harm your wife before you come to regrets. One or both of you deciding to walk away from the relationship is an option to resolving your problem. But you've got to first explore the alternative of setting out your expectations and hopes for the relationship.

Troubledman:
Hmmm. I read all the comments. I deserve all the bashing and more. I do not excuse hitting her, I just called her father now to apologize and confess for hitting her but I told the whole story. Everyone is aware of her aggressive nature. Everytjme he talks to her, its always to tell her to take it easy. I'm also vindicated in the fact that I called her close friend about 3 days to report her. I'm not proud of it but this lady makes my life hell.

Ironically. She doesn't have big boobs or breasts. I decided to marry her because I heard her story and like me she'd been through a lot. I thought that would make use both mature, understand how life works and know how to manage situations but that hasn't been the case.

I walked away, I left. I stayed elsewhere. I gave her space. She came to meet me where I was repeatedly. It was the middle of the night. I couldn't leave the house. I gave as much space as I can. She kept pushing. But that's no excuse. I Bleep up I know.

She left rhis morning. Continued insulting us.

Some women sef. They can bring out the beast in their partners.

As she has collected hot abara tawai tawai, let's hope she will calm down and stop disrespecting her husband (although I have a strong feeling that's a tall order)

Op, you sef you no try. You have been tolerating nonsense for a long time without addressing it, which is why it degenerated to this shameful extent.

The two of you need counseling so you can both get sense

Troubledman:
Hmmm. I read all the comments. I deserve all the bashing and more. I do not excuse hitting her, I just called her father now to apologize and confess for hitting her but I told the whole story. Everyone is aware of her aggressive nature. Everytjme he talks to her, its always to tell her to take it easy. I'm also vindicated in the fact that I called her close friend about 3 days to report her. I'm not proud of it but this lady makes my life hell.

Ironically. She doesn't have big boobs or breasts. I decided to marry her because I heard her story and like me she'd been through a lot. I thought that would make use both mature, understand how life works and know how to manage situations but that hasn't been the case.

I walked away, I left. I stayed elsewhere. I gave her space. She came to meet me where I was repeatedly. It was the middle of the night. I couldn't leave the house. I gave as much space as I can. She kept pushing. But that's no excuse. I Bleep up I know.

She left rhis morning. Continued insulting us.

E be like sey she get baba nla spirit husband. Na dem dey get this kain useless anger.

tonicyril:
Ur wife can drag ur mother to the ground in front of u abi??

Weyrey

If it was your sister or mother, that was been domestically abused nkor .........

Weyrey......

NemoDatQuod:
Have a sit down with your wife.

This was August 11.

It's a funny story. After trying to calm her down the whole night as evidenced in the chat.

The next morning while we lay in bed, they brought the light. So I jumped off the bed to do laundry, ps: I always do the laundry in the house. While I was picking the clothes she mentioned that I should do the laundry later but I replied that I needed to do it now because the electricity wasn't stable.

By the time I left the bedroom, finished loading the clothes into the machine, she had sent me those messages.

Lexusgs430:
If it was your sister or mother, that was been domestically abused nkor .........

Weyrey......

weyrey

If my sister drag her MIL to the ground and disrespect her den she most to collect. If her husband no give her 2 lashes of usb cord den he must be a bastard.


I hate it wen elders are bn disrespected, especially wen it's uncalled for.

Wetin be her age??

U cant disregard my mum, and i wil never disregard ur parent, never cus i take them as my parents

I was even discussing this with my madam yesterday.

Awon omo oshi

NemoDatQuod:
My take is that you should acknowledge that you are as much the problem as your wife. Your own contribution to your family challenges just manifests differently from hers. Why do I say so?

1. You allowed a series of concerns with your wife's actions to simmer overtime until it got out of hand and you felt so helpless that you resorted to beating her.

2. You called her father to apologize and you also reported her to her best friend. You are not married to her father and her best friend is not in a party relationship with both of you.

This marriage is a relationship between you and your wife and no one else. I think this is an opportunity for you two to sit down and do what you obviously failed to do before you got married.

Have a sit down with your wife. Apologize for raising your hands against her and let her know it is wrong, as no man should ever do that under any circumstance. When a man resorts to violence at home, it is evidence that he has failed to resolve a problem in the right way. There is no problem that cannot be resolved in a relationship. Tell your wife your expectations of her as a wife. Respect, loyalty, no recourse to anger and dirty words, etc. You need to think deeply about this and be clear. Also let her know your own responsibility towards her :Respect, taking her thought and feelings into consideration, not bringing others into your relationship, paying serious attention to her thoughts and views before you make decisions. Then give her an opportunity to set down her expectations of you as her husband and also set her own responsibilities towards you.

This conversation, which should be mutually very respectful, will help both of you determine if you should stay married. It may be that you are two individuals unsuitable for each other who simply jumped into marriage for whatever reason. You are fortunate that you have not yet brought a child into this toxic environment that you both created. It may be that one or both of you have serious anger management issues that require professional intervention. But you will both know what you are doing together. You should both be courageous enough to also discuss if it is time you pack it up. How on earth can an arrangement that was made to make each of you to be happier together than you will be if you stay single, lead to such an adversarial relationship?

Get your act together. Don't wait until you are so provoked that you kill or harm your wife before you come to regrets. One or both of you deciding to walk away from the relationship is an option to resolving your problem. But you've got to first explore the alternative of setting out your expectations and hopes for the relationship.

Most sensible comment here.
Troubledman this comment right here is what you should stick to

Fake story.

Blessedmercy8:
Hmm... It's not all women that are like that though.

Like me, I've never had any cause to incure as little as a smack from my ex.

Once there's an argument, I'll just seal up my mouth because I don't like violence or unecessary shoutings and they respect me for that.

this one is desperately looking for a husband, it's not by attacking all married women that you'll get what you desire o Aunty don old, she dey form tactics to look for man. I've been following all your comments. Shame on you, you are even in support of domestic violence just because you are looking for a man

tonicyril:
weyrey

If my sister drag her MIL to the ground and disrespect her den she most to collect. If her husband no give her 2 lashes of usb cord den he must be a bastard.


I hate it wen elders are bn disrespected, especially wen it's uncalled for.

Wetin be her age??

U cant disregard my mum, and i wil never disregard ur parent, never cus i take them as my parents

I was even discussing this with my madam yesterday.

Awon omo oshi

Weyrey....



If it gets to the point where parents are been insulted...... Both of you getting married, was a weyrey*2 move ......

Lexusgs430:
Weyrey....



If it gets to the point where parents are been insulted...... Both of you getting married, was a weyrey*2 move ......

weyrey!!!

A no get wetin u type

Na Mbaise woman?

Kobojunkie:
If you were here in the States, your neighbours would probably have called the cops on you, and you would have spent the night in jail. Your story about your wife provoking you would not have mattered because you raised your hand in violence against her, and her retaliation would easily.... The law and society is too lapse as far as violence is concerned in Nigeria.

Anyways, the deed has been done and you both cannot continue as you are. Provided your wife has no intentions of seeing you charged for violating her right as a human being, you both should probably engage a professional marriage counselor asap. Whatever it is that has been eating at you both, you should talk about, and maybe decide from there whether your union is worth keeping or not.

Your mum should also probably leave the environment, so husband and wife can have time alone to marinade on what has finally happened to their marriage as well.

I would also like to add that you can both benefit individually from some mental health counselling if there are anger issues apparent. You make your wife sound like she has anger issues she is dealing with, but since she isn't the one speaking, there isn't a way of really telling. However, for you, don't hesitate to get some anger management counseling for future.

You this JUNKIE
you have never ever made sense with any of your posts, not even once!
I recommend therapeutic sessions for you(it should be easier, since you claim to be in the U.S), you obviously have a misandrist disorder...

Klass99:
This shit really works .

A friend's friend (Zac) has done it to his wife. During a heated argument that was going no where Zac bounced for a night out with his guys. On getting back home his wife and mother in law started to give him lip. Zac just packed a bag of clothes and vamoosed for 3 whole days.

Wifey and mother in law were the ones calling, texting and pleading with him to come home. Since then everybody around Zac arranges themselves well. Nothing speaks louder than actions, abeg .

Every time I hear communication is key, sit her down and talk to her, or have a heart to heart talk with him, I smile and shake my head. Non-verbal communication can be just as effective as verbal communication, if not more powerful sef.

Your post and signature has me thinking you are a jackass but a likeable jackass.

The expectation from angry men to walk away from provocative situations is burdensome.

Every woman and man should be emotionally intelligent enough to keep their mouths shut when the other partner is angry or accept the resulting slaps/blows as causalities of the fracas.

The scenario above is different from a man/woman abusing their spouse.

Troubledman:
So this night. I did a horrible thing. I stuck my wife thrice on her back. Yes, I know it's horrible and I should be burnt at the stake. And I am truly sorry for it but... There's always s back story.

I went through university without ever getting into a fight. I swore of physical violence since 2005. I havent raised my hands at anyone ever. Not to defend myself. Not to fight. In those years. I don't even let people fight aroujd me. I am known everywhere as the peace keeper. Which is why I feel very horrible about my action tonight.

Since we got married. I have noticed this trait of aggression in the person I married. Always quick to anger and insults everytime. In the last couple of days. We've had course to stay with my mum.

Earlier in the day. We were arguing about something (not so important to be honest) and my mum remarked that we should do better that were a new couple and we shouldn't be arguing like this all the time. She even joked that she was going to buy a cane for both of us.

Barely 2 mins later another discussion came up and this lady started raising her voice again. This time in full view of my mum. I just kept telling her please take it easy, take it easy. I even mentioned to her that this was what mummy was just telling us about. She would not bulge. Eventually my mum chipped in and said to me to keep quiet. So I did. When she finished shouting she stood up and left for the room.

After a while , my mother went into the room to talk to her. Even asked her not to be annoyed. Invited her to eat. She brought the food to me but I was too annoyed to eat. How is my wife shouting at me in front of my mum ? So I walked away, went out for a stroll. When I came back. She was in the room, she I stayed back in the living room. She came to me, started telling me that I should not let her be angry at me, changing the story that I was shouting at her earlier and she didn't say a word, I was livid but this didn't tip me. I just told her off and went back to do my work. She came back again started off another tirade in the middle of the night btw and ended it with saying "your mother is responsible for this"

Now, that's what made me mad. From the start I have warned my family not to interfere in mine. Not my dad or my mum have ever told me or directed me on how to do in my marriage to her. I imagine that because her display was in public today that's why my mum commented. Even on Wednesday she was talking to me harshly in the car and my mum was there and she never talked.

So anyway I stood up from where I was went to meet her and struck her about 3 times in the back warning her never to involve My mother in our talk again.

Then she shouted screaming at 2 am. Cursing me. Mt mum came out to even try to calm her down. She turned to my mum as well. Saying she knows what she'll say. That she supports me etc. Even when the poor woman didnt say anything. She's gone off now. Milking it. Saying I beat her. Should I add that she came back slapped me square on the face, hit my chest. Even dragged my mother to the floor

But everyone is on me. I'm the woman beater. Domestic violence.

Honestly, I'm just tired of this marriage. I married for peace this woman gives me trouble everyday. I chose to stay in the living room for peace tonight. She brought her madness to meet me.

I agree I messed up. I perhaps shouldn't have hit her. I regret it. It's going to go with me. But I was too pushed. She continues to do this knowing I wouldn't talk and st the time I believed that's the only thing she'd respond too. I know this could probably get me a lot of hate but I'm also hoping someone could see reason in what's happening

Im sorry it's so long. I didn't think about it. I just created this account and started writing. Apologies for likely typos too

TroubledMan

You let this issue fester for so long that you need to do a lot to correct the issue.

Since you have apologized to her parents, apologize once for hitting her and let it go.

Also address her uncouthness and disrespect/disregard for your family/mother.

If the issue reoccurs, report her to her family and follow the age long advise of leaving the house. Just make it a week. Hopefully, she would have sense.

You can also explore therapy to understand and resolve any underlying issue (if any).

you are just promoting unaccountability in women. Why must the man leave the house before the woman comes to her senses?

Klass99:
This shit really works .

A friend's friend (Zac) has done it to his wife. During a heated argument that was going no where Zac bounced for a night out with his guys. On getting back home his wife and mother in law started to give him lip. Zac just packed a bag of clothes and vamoosed for 3 whole days.

Wifey and mother in law were the ones calling, texting and pleading with him to come home. Since then everybody around Zac arranges themselves well. Nothing speaks louder than actions, abeg .

Every time I hear communication is key, sit her down and talk to her, or have a heart to heart talk with him, I smile and shake my head. Non-verbal communication can be just as effective as verbal communication, if not more powerful sef.

Your post and signature has me thinking you are a jackass but a likeable jackass.

..

.

This shit really works .

That is your quote I was referring to. Rather than advising or encouraging women not to allow the situation to get to such a point you rather bask in the presumed belief that it works. That is how you are promoting a lack of accountability in women.
FYI it does not always work. Some men would rather drive the woman out of the house.

Klass99:
Can you people please read and try to understand before quoting me unnecessarily? How did I promote lack of accountabilty in women?

Sucre6 shared his experience which resonated with me and I shared someone else's experience, to say on my part that, that method of non-verbal communication seems to really work and it has an effect on cantankerous women and curbing their excesses.

What you are doing is the sort of arm-chair diagnosis, negative interpretation of people's comments and speculations about what was not written or said, that I don't like. I don't have time or energy for negative vibes this morning and I won't do this gender dance with you.

EOD for me.

RightToReject:
Stop being servile under any guise. In fact, you are the cause of your problem, citing the fact that you believe that even your just retaliatory action - however unpalatable it sounds - against her intentional and unjust abuse towards you and your mother is bad. Maybe, you have not told the truth about who the main instigator of the rift between the two of you is.

Meanwhile, there is nothing mature and manly about a man, and vice versa, walking out of the house just to avoid/stop an altercation with a woman who is foolish enough not to allow principle to take precedence over expediency/her pettiness. Most of you have poor concepts of respect/maturity and strong person, which is while you lots have always resorted to using servility to sustain peace and still called it respect - if servile; or using unjust cruelty to command obedience - if domineering - and mistaking it for having a diligent/submissive wife.

Servility is as bad as unjust cruelty; say no to both of them.

May Everything about you be blessed today and forever..... Troubledman(OP) is a very stupid man (i am not sorry to say it one bit) , if your animalistic wife can drag your mother on the floor in your presence in her house ooh, just because the old woman is trying to pet animalistic wife and you are here begging and crying like an 'egbere' , wife that you are supposed to send back to her parents house on a 6 month sabbatical leave, for her parents to retrain her...See ehn, if i were to be your younger sister, i will make sure to remove 2 or 3 three from your wife mouth and if you say anything while am it, i will slap the living daylights outta your brain.... Even the holybook acknowledges that there are some situation you correct by violence so you can have peace....
IF YOU LIKE DON'T PUT YOUR WIFE TO HER PLACE, BE THINKING CRYING AND BEGGING HER WILL MAKE YOU COLLECT HUSBAND OF THE YEAR AWARD, THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM...
But remove your mother from that disrespectful equation, she can continue feeding you the disrespect since you crave it.... Mscheew...