Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

What kind of man goes ahead with marriage without having a source of income? Even if it covers only feeding and expenses.

Tell him to dump zaria fast and come to Abuja.
He will get a driving job @ least. He should start from there.
He Must have a source of income at least

Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

Don't listen to any comments again. Just follow what the poster above me said. Peace be unto u

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

Dear OP please follow the words of this sage.

His working hard towards it

Alright dear, this is noted

northbird:
What kind of man goes ahead with marriage without having a source of income? Even if it covers only feeding and expenses.

He should have a source of income at least

Wow
Thanks alot for your time and contribution.
This comment will do alot in my future decisions. Good continue blessing your family.

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

Alright sir

aylive02:




Don't listen to any comments again. Just follow what the poster above me said. Peace be unto u

Yes dear
I believe so

MyVILLAGEpeople:



Dear OP please follow the words of this sage.

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

Op follow this comment, he's talking out of experience, he's a wise man

He is in his mid 30's and wants to get married despite having no tangible source of income. It appears that he's only interested in getting married because he's getting older.

Don't throw your children into a meat grinder for "love". You'll be responsible for fending for your kids and not him. Hold onto your job (and even the marriage) until things get a bit better. He doesn't need to be rich. But he does need to be stable. And the fact that you are coming in with two kids makes that super important.

First you said he is not employed
Yes in the same breath you said he has a small business he is managing.

Well, let me start by saying, "love no dey sweet without money". Go and verify

Once you leave your current job, do you have another job waiting for you in the guys city? What men hate most is taking care of another man's child had for thwir lover or concubine (either the father is dead or alive)

I admire the fact that you are willing to grow with him sha. Seems you have faith in him .

4h

Very wise
Thanks i appreciate

Sucre6:


Op follow this comment, he's talking out of experience, he's a wise man

Alright dear
Thanks alot for your input.
Am already having a second and better thought, pray God see us tru

Shoodboi:
He is in his mid 30's and wants to get married despite having no tangible source of income. It appears that he's only interested in getting married because he's getting older.

Don't throw your children into a meat grinder for "love". You'll be responsible for fending for your kids and not him. Hold onto your job (and even the marriage) until things get a bit better. He doesn't need to be rich. But he does need to be stable. And the fact that you are coming in with two kids makes that super important.

Oh dear
I wish you all the best in ur search

FriendsAndFans:
I need a woman, she should be 25 or above and be employed or engaged in something meaningful

I dont need you to be extraordinarily beautiful but be above basic. Currently work and resident in Ogun state

If you really bout that life then nigga show em you bout your business





Don’t be screaming on a hunnid, nigga run up you a $milli

Follow your heart desires, in life they must be a mistake, even a professor is not a perfect coach for advice.

Pray God first,
Sit together and discuss
then seek your parents talk.

As for me am yet to marry because a happy home is MONEY.

Life has no sure way to everything. You may follow him to his city, and things get better. You can also stay back, and things get better. All na experiment. I will advice you to try any option. There is no wrong choice here.

See faith

I advise you to suspend wedding plans for now until there's a job
May the love and trust that's doing you now not turn to something else when you become jobless and the bills and children expenses wink at you

I disapprove.

Hmmmm

Follow the advice of that married man up there

Don't leave your job the economy is not smiling o

lol. people just like suffer for this already hellish nigeria

There is a sane person up there that has given you a piece of advice, just follow that

Hq

Hmm, it's really a tough decision to make on your own part, he probably is under pressure to get married. So many outcome to think of on his part, but in all that you do make sure you hold on to your job not because of him but because of your children, he could change when the financial pressure takes a toll on him with the excuse that the children are not his.

After seeing your people and bride price paid, what exactly is the wedding party for considering there is no money for such expenses. He should focus on how to improve the business, and if the wedding is still on you both mind do it after some years when you can afford to waste funds and still have more than enough to live well.

Mmmm. You already have 2 kids to cater for. Before taking any decision, spare a thought for them. If you relocate, can whatever your man is earning provide for the needs of everyone? I'll advise you stay in Abuja while he stays in Zaria for the main time. If he insists he wants you all to be together, then let him relocate to Abuja. There are more opportunities in Abj than Zaria. Love is important but it doesn't pay bills. Las Las Sha, do what YOU want and place your happiness and comfort above some other considerations.

lol the rate at which u people are focusing on marriage if you focus on poverty like that u go make am....


You no get job u dey think of marriage is that not poverty Pro Max u dey try to enta so

It is well

Plan a tiny wedding.
Leave the crowd out of it.

Or postpone the wedding till when things gets better.
May God bless the works of the both of you.

S