A

Doubts dey kill person.

Whatever you do though, he should move to Abj.

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

Ha! I'm a man o! But marrying a jobless guy? Hmmm
Does he have any handwork or skill he uses to pay his bills?

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

Apply these points and you'll be fine.
God's grace.

Continue with your job and be patient, God would provide a Job for him ...

Two of you can't be idle at the same time

Advice like this is what makes one proud of NL forum members sometimes. This is spot on and needs no further subtraction or addition.

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

Abeg, Shey una dey whine us for this platform nii? Na so one talk say is 100k ok for a man to start a family? Another man’s food is another man’s poison, just choose your battle wisely. �

If you move to zaria, there will be pressures on the marriage, maintain your Abuja teaching job for now.

Hmm.

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

No more advice
U don talk am finish

Becareful, that guy is after what he can get from you.
I'm sure you'll have been sorting him out in little things he now feels comfortable that your money can sustain you all therefore no need to make any efforts to stand on his own before going into marriage.

The whole thing might not be clear to you now until you have entered. Remember you already have two children that are your responsibility.

A 35yr Old man with no tangible source of income rushing into marriage with a single mother has ulterior motives. Trust me. Not with the kind of lazy men we have around these days.

Am I the only one that read the part where she said her dowry has already been paid? Meaning say they are wedded traditionally...?

Madam, you don get husband... Which advise you come dey find again?

FriendsAndFans:
I need a woman, she should be 25 or above and be employed or engaged in something meaningful

I dont need you to be extraordinarily beautiful but be above basic. Currently work and resident in Ogun state

the one i have is lazy but good in bed. If you are ready

You already have kids and you admit he loves them...

I see a man with dreams and potentials who can become someone tomorrow.

Besides he already paid your dowry.

Some men wouldn't even want to have anything to do with single mothers

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

You spoke well, I am my husband save our alawee and got married immediately after NYSC, today the story is different.
If the man is a good person, let her.m move with him, from my experience, marriage brings favor o

No Job. He wants to go ahead with a marriage with not just you but additional responsibilities. Make una dey reason well for this life. Una just like to suffer for no reason

Why do you want to upheave your children for so much uncertainty?
How will you feed them in Zaria?
Even some men with good source of income don't want to look after another man's child, talkmore of a man who is still struggling to find his feet and even feed himself alone.
You want to add 3 more mouths to his situation?
What help do you want to give his business that he's not giving it already?
It's a different thing if the business really needs more hands because it's growing fast, but does he really need more hands for now?

Another suffering story

Why are nairalanders suffering nowadays? Are we living in perilous times?

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

Tak dis OP

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

God bless.
Follow this please

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

Your fear is not about his employment status. If it is, you won't let him close or allow him pay. It is just cold feet and fear of acceptance and moving on. As a single mom, life is always easier. You can LovePeddler around to meet your daily need but after marriage, you won't be comfortable doing that so your mind won't let you have that discomfort. No advice for a single mother is worth it because they will always have cold feet and unsatisfied with marriage, nagging and quarreling with their spouse and soon return to single motherhood. It is not a curse. It is how life has programed them to be.

But a single mother who deliberately and decisively chose to marry doesn't look back. She puts her best to make sure her man is comfortable with having her with her status as a single mother. She is always supportive and want her man to succeed. so she minimizes frivolities while maintaining a decent life. She doesn't use crocodile tears to bargain like this one here.

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

Don't do it, SIMPLE!!

I have many women who married jobless men and regretted it.

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

Pls follow d advice,n one more thing I will add to d advice giving to u,pls pray n seek more wisdom from God to lead u through.pls fast for three days with prayer.n read proverb chapter 2- chapter 8.at d third day,nvr ask anything from God,start giving thanks to God,with praise n worship,,I believe it will work well for u,u ll later give thanks to God for this nairaland to let pple give out their opinion, that's how God work.. everlasting father,merciful God


A plot of land for sale situated opposite owode estate near apata ibadan interested pple should message me on WhatsApp nos 08148316840

This is suicidal

If the guy was earning higher,he would have told you to move down to his location.
Your fears are clouding your sense of judgement,I believe you know the right thing to do but your current situation makes you want to compromise.

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

Quality piece of advice. Exactly my thoughts.

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

I thought you said there is no God except Allah and his prophet called Muhammed , according to you... Why can't you ask your Allah and your Muhammed, about what to do? You can or you may start by saying laila ilanla... You can give gala to your Allah, maybe he would tell you what to do...? You can wait till Sallah or Salah, for your Allah- maybe he would tell you what to do... You can as well ask Mohammed Salah... He could tell you what to do... Allah ko Sallah or Salah or Mohammed Salah ni... Allah ko Mallah or gala ni...

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

Nice one, but what kind of man even thinks of marriage when he has no means of survival?

No you're not doing the right thing cos who will take care of your kids.... so u want to leave your job, relocate and feed on what...abeg postpone am if the guy no gree relocate

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

My simple opinion is this.

In whatever you do consider the welfare of your kids. Now you have left your source of livelihood to follow a man who also has no appreciable source of income or livelihood..
How do you cater for your kids?

Don't consider yourself and feelings only. This love thing requires proper calculation and thinking otherwise it may go sour and even become bitter or tasteless. Frustration sets in.

Go back to your job for the sake of the kids.
You can still carry on with your love for him.
Paying your dowry doesn't mean anything. You are not yet indebted to ride or die with him. Worst case, dowry can be returned..

All I'm saying is that you should look well before you leap. Make sure that the other side you will land is at least safe for you to land. Otherwise, you will injure yourself and kids... All your decisions, good or bad, will affect them.

Make your late husband proud of your decisions and the care of the kids...