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Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! - Jobs/Vacancies (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by ibechris(m): 10:52am On Aug 25, 2022
This is not love...how can u take this foolish risk.

There is a an adage that says,eyes dey eat before mouth.

This isn't love madam. At least u have been married before use your common sense.

If u follow this man blindly without a job,who will feed your children? he loves your kids,how just imagine!

Advice:
Pls,leave marriage and let that man go fix himself up,how can a jobless man marry u?

Are u going forward or u are going backward?

What tribe would allow this,a man who has nothing doing to marry u...I wonder how u guys foist poverty and hopelessness upon yourselves.

Your salary isn't enough and now u want to abandoned your job for marriage without an income.

Pls,use your tongue to count your teeth.

1 Like

Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by TheGift: 10:52am On Aug 25, 2022
XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise smiley
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ? cry

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double cry

He needs to get His act together first.

You don't have any of the irrational reasons society gives to women to hurry. You have married . You have had kids.

He should go to His place, take six months to one year and sort His business out. Then come back when He is ready to take care of Himself and a family.
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by OblorOblor: 10:57am On Aug 25, 2022
spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.
This is the kind of advice to get from someone who grew up with grandma; very witty and wise.
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by Karleb(m): 10:59am On Aug 25, 2022
Richy4:
Recipe for a disaster...
So after the marriage, one of the kids falls ill and the doctors says 160K or no attention would be given to the kid in the hospital, Considering the fact he has no source of income, what will you guys do?..

This was exactly my thoughts about a guy earning 100k who has decided to use napkins rather than pampers and he and his wives were being hailed for being prudent.

What if during the course of delivery, there were complications and the doctors demand he pays 300k upfront for surgery?

Nigerians sha will never learn.

1 Like

Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by Surfacebaba: 11:00am On Aug 25, 2022
Focuse on your kids o,hw many children u want to have?,i beg no go oo
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by quentin06: 11:00am On Aug 25, 2022
Hope this is a joke? You have 3 kids living in a place like Abj, earning a paltry 50k and want to hook up with a liability.?

Woman !! angry You need to think very well, I think you should focus more on raising your kids first, who will bankroll the wedding, you?

Marrying a jobless man is not the way to go, as you should know by now, it takes more than I love you to keep a marriage.

2 Likes

Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by ismhab(m): 11:01am On Aug 25, 2022
spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

This is the best advice, but don't you think for the husband to be, to move to Abuja na one wahala? because living in Abuja no be easy, life very expensive, from shelter, food, utilities e.t.c
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by XullySwt(f): 11:04am On Aug 25, 2022
Exactly he doesn't need to be rich.
I appreciate your comment will hold onto it.
Shoodboi:
He is in his mid 30's and wants to get married despite having no tangible source of income. It appears that he's only interested in getting married because he's getting older.

Don't throw your children into a meat grinder for "love". You'll be responsible for fending for your kids and not him. Hold onto your job (and even the marriage) until things get a bit better. He doesn't need to be rich. But he does need to be stable. And the fact that you are coming in with two kids makes that super important.
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by Richy4(m): 11:10am On Aug 25, 2022
Karleb:


This was exactly my thoughts about a guy earning 100k who has decided to use napkins rather than pampers and he and his wives were being hailed for being prudent.

What if during the course of delivery, there were complications and the doctors demand he pays 300k upfront for surgery?

Nigerians sha will never learn.
When you remind them of what lies ahead, they will tell you that God is in control, that he shall provide... Making people who decides to plan before venturing into it look like they don't believe in God smiley
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by XullySwt(f): 11:11am On Aug 25, 2022
Yes he does but is in Zaria
Though his planning on moving it down here to Abuja, but when he came last month to my area the rent alone is scary
lomprico:


Ha! I'm a man o! But marrying a jobless guy? Hmmm
Does he have any handwork or skill he uses to pay his bills?
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by XullySwt(f): 11:13am On Aug 25, 2022
Alright tank you sir
TheGift:


He needs to get His act together first.

You don't have any of the irrational reasons society gives to women to hurry. You have married . You have had kids.

He should go to His place, take six months to one year and sort His business out. Then come back when He is ready to take care of Himself and a family.
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by Xedmark: 11:15am On Aug 25, 2022
Hmmm...what bothers me is why you want to get married to man who still fall to the category of "I'm looking for a job" in his mid 30s. He has a business in Zaria, can he cater for both of you and the kids, provide shelter, pay the school fees, rent, emergency health issues and so on?? Follow him to Zaria if only he can provide and don't follow his words until you see proves and glaring evidences that the business is enough to provide for you.

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Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by XullySwt(f): 11:15am On Aug 25, 2022
Is not my fault dear
Am from the north and still young, my parents wont allow me to stay long without marriage, almost 3 years now after since i lost my hubby.
But then am not in a rush within my self just that they wont understand this.
Thanks for ur comment.
ibechris:
This is not love...how can u take this foolish risk.

There is a an adage that says,eyes dey eat before mouth.

This isn't love madam. At least u have been married before use your common sense.

If u follow this man blindly without a job,who will feed your children? he loves your kids,how just imagine!

Advice:
Pls,leave marriage and let that man go fix himself up,how can a jobless man marry u?

Are u going forward or u are going backward?

What tribe would allow this,a man who has nothing doing to marry u...I wonder how u guys foist poverty and hopelessness upon yourselves.

Your salary isn't enough and now u want to abandoned your job for marriage without an income.

Pls,use your tongue to count your teeth.

Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by iHart(m): 11:17am On Aug 25, 2022
XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise smiley
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ? cry

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double cry
He has a business and you said he is jobless, what do you mean?
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by mukthar2000(m): 11:17am On Aug 25, 2022
Sister never made a mistake that would lead to future regret for u pls, my own advice is that stay in ur location with ur present job, convince him to come to ABUJA if truly the love u and ur two kids, instead of u going to met him in Zaria with two kids, ABUJA is more industrious and well paid than Kaduna zaria.
But always have this at the back of ur mind that if the single guy get a better job , by then his eyes might open that single mother are not for his level, I believed by then u might have quite ur ABUJA job, sister be wise pls, ur kids and ur job are ur husband presently, any man should just be additional for u pls. BY WISE
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by XullySwt(f): 11:18am On Aug 25, 2022
I don't pray for such cry
But i know i have to consider that too. Well my late husband left an investment for my kids, after marriage that is what i want to use for their up keep by Gods grace. The problem is just the job issue.
I will look into ur comment also, i appreciate smiley smiley
Xedmark:
Hmmm...what bothers me is why you want to get married to man who still fall to the category of "I'm looking for a job" in his mid 30s. He has a business in Zaria, can he cater for both of you and the kids, provide shelter, pay the school fees, rent, emergency health issues and so on?? Follow him to Zaria if only he can provide and don't follow his words until you see proves and glaring evidences that the business is enough to provide for you.
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by Savedday: 11:18am On Aug 25, 2022
What am trying to understand is, what kind of a man will marry a woman, that has 2 kinds, when he has no income?

That man is not in his right senses, you have use juju for the man. That is why he want to marry an overused woman with two kinds.

What a shame!

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Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by Emeka71(m): 11:20am On Aug 25, 2022
Let him get work.
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by XullySwt(f): 11:20am On Aug 25, 2022
His managing a little business.
What i mean but jobless like no monthly salary to keep the business going normal.
Sorry for not expanciating. Thanks for ur comment smiley
iHart:
He has a business and you said he is jobless, what do you mean?
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by Emyogalanya: 11:20am On Aug 25, 2022
But why you no include the "he is good in bed° part of his qualities na. ? Or you think we don't know ?
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by XullySwt(f): 11:21am On Aug 25, 2022
OMG shocked
See comment, things we see in this country.
Nevertheless thanks for ur comment smiley smiley
Savedday:
What am trying to understand is, what kind of a man will marry a woman, that has 2 kinds, when he has no income?

That man is not in his right senses, you have use juju for the man. That is why he want to marry an overused woman with two kinds.

What a shame!
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by bennyflipy(m): 11:23am On Aug 25, 2022
People get mind sha, catering for 3 people plus yourself without a good source of income in this economy no be play o.

Zaria of all places sef, let him move to Abuja jare, within 1 month he must get something doing.
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by XullySwt(f): 11:24am On Aug 25, 2022
Exactly his plan, coming down to Abuja, but the way time is running so fast his still yet to settle.
I will shine my eye and be wise dear.
Thank you smiley smiley
mukthar2000:
Sister never made a mistake that would lead to future regret for u pls, my own advice is that stay in ur location with ur present job, convince him to come to ABUJA if truly the love u and ur two kids, instead of u going to met him in Zaria with two kids, ABUJA is more industrious and well paid than Kaduna zaria.
But always have this at the back of ur mind that if the single guy get a better job , by then his eyes might open that single mother are not for his level, I believed by then u might have quite ur ABUJA job, sister be wise pls, ur kids and ur job are ur husband presently, any man should just be additional for u pls. BY WISE


Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by XullySwt(f): 11:25am On Aug 25, 2022
My dear thank you for this ur comment. 2 kids dear
bennyflipy:
People get mind sha, catering for 3 people plus yourself without a good source of income in this economy no be play o.

Zaria of all places sef, let him move to Abuja jare, within 1 month he must get something doing.
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by XullySwt(f): 11:26am On Aug 25, 2022
XullySwt:
My dear thank you for this ur comment.
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by Powersurge: 11:26am On Aug 25, 2022
XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise smiley
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ? cry

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double cry

1. What business is he doing?
2. How was he able to live for two years when he has no job? Does he have other sources of income?
3. What skills does he have?


People get mind sha. I am in my mid 30s I am currently earning around 200k yet I won't dare marriage unless my wife is earning something as well (at least 50k).

I perceived you guys are from the north. Things could be different over there (cheaper things, food might not be a problem etc). If not, person no get source of income won marry a woman with kids. Hian!

My advice. Study the business. Is it yielding something? If you guys put more effort can it sustain you? How are other people doing the same business performing? If you even forget your career and marry him are u sure after growing the business he wouldn't bring other people that will be benefiting from your labor? Do you see him as ambitious person? How badly do you need the marriage? Do you think your children need a father figure? Sit down and sincerely answer these questions. Then make your decision.
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by Mryacks(m): 11:28am On Aug 25, 2022
Look when it comes to matters of emotions and finance only the people involved actually know their journey...

You guys should sit, talk and decide properly on how best to approach this matter.

The most important thing is you guys seem to be very intentional about getting married (I believe love youselves too) so just work out a strategy that best fits your plans.

It is possible!
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by Eziokwubundu1: 11:30am On Aug 25, 2022
Are you not tired of suffering? He's loving and caring like he was meant to be otherwise by the way, how did a jobless man pay your dowry? Guess you borrowed him some money or the money was loaned?
Better calm down and stay back in Abuja and mind your business there until he gets something tangible then you both can plan the next step.
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by Mryacks(m): 11:32am On Aug 25, 2022
Powersurge:


1. What business is he doing?
2. How was he able to live for two years when he has no job? Does he have other sources of income?
3. What skills does he have?


People get mind sha. I am in my mid 30s I am currently earning around 200k yet I won't dare marriage unless my wife is earning something as well (at least 50k).

I perceived you guys are from the north. Things could be different over there (cheaper things, food might not be a problem etc). If not, person no get source of income won marry a woman with kids. Hian!

My advice. Study the business. Is it yielding something? If you guys put more effort can it sustain you? How are other people doing the same business performing? If you even forget your career and marry him are u sure after growing the business he wouldn't bring other people that will be benefiting from your labor? Do you see him as ambitious person? How badly do you need the marriage? Do you think your children need a father figure? Sit down and sincerely answer these questions. Then make your decision.

Some valid points. 20's oh, 30's ooh, 40's oh ....I don't know why some people just put pressure on themselves cos of age about this marriage thing even when they are not finnacially capable..
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by LocalMan2(m): 11:33am On Aug 25, 2022
I'm sure I will not say better than this, the best advice here so far.
Take this for granted, you will be on your own. �


spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by treatise: 11:34am On Aug 25, 2022
XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise smiley
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ? cry

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double cry
You'd have asked this question before bride price was paid.
Re: Wedding Preparations Without A Job!! by bennyflipy(m): 11:35am On Aug 25, 2022
XullySwt:
My dear thank you for this ur comment. 2 kids dear
Is he not going to cater for you and your children?
Don't allow marriage pressure get to you, just because you're young, because the way you're going na express you dey go.

Allah Baku saaha.

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