₦airaland Forum

mukthar2000:
is better u shine it sisterpls and pls don't be too despite of having partner, Allah no best plans for everyone of us, loving u for 2 or 10 years doesn't mean the be ur real partner, just be very carefully and be prayerful for Allah to choose the best for u inshAllah

spice123:
Let me give you a candid advice as a married man:
1. Maintain your teaching job. You are a mother with two lovely kids. Don't let those children suffer for your careless mistake.

2. Talk to him to move to Abuja with you. You are already settled with a job and stable so he too needs to support you by joining you to start looking for job opportunities at Abuja.

3. If he insists in staying in his comfort zone (Zaria) without making effort to get a job, please leave him and go back to Abuja and continue your job.

4. A man cannot be talking of marriage when he does not have a stable income. I was a teacher earning 30k in the east when I met my wife in Lagos. My wife was earning twice my salary. I had move down to Lagos because we wanted to get married. We postponed our wedding by 3 months until I got another job that was paying 45k. That was 8 years ago. No matter how little the salary is, let your man have something doing.

My one piece advice.

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

XullySwt:
Oh dear, am happy this comment is coming from a female like me.
My dear we aren't planning for any big wedding, i do much appreciate ur advice i like it. Thanks for ur compliments.

2buffagain:
He sounds like an unwise man.

You don't tell your woman to leave what she is doing and come and meet you until you have prepared a place for her.
One thing before the other.

XullySwt:
Is the other way round dear. He prefer relocating down here but the issue am looking at is the cost of living in Abuja, Zaria is much better thus my idea of moving dr

ifihearam:
Your story is incoherent..he has no job yet he has a business? you have two kids and dated a jobless guy for two years? he paid your dowry and planning wedding for november on what budget? Please clarify.

No mater what you do, do not leave your job..your kids come first..beside that will still cause issues in nearest future because you wont want to fall pregnant anytime soon and when you eventually do,he will not treat the three kids as equal trust me.

P>S...From the stories I read recently on nairaland,I cant say for a fact who is more desperate to get maried between Nigerian men and woman lately.

ifihearam:
Your story is incoherent..he has no job yet he has a business? you have two kids and dated a jobless guy for two years? he paid your dowry and planning wedding for november on what budget? Please clarify.

No mater what you do, do not leave your job..your kids come first..beside that will still cause issues in nearest future because you wont want to fall pregnant anytime soon and when you eventually do,he will not treat the three kids as equal trust me.

P>S...From the stories I read recently on nairaland,I cant say for a fact who is more desperate to get maried between Nigerian men and woman lately.

Savedday:
What am trying to understand is, what kind of a man will marry a woman, that has 2 kinds, when he has no income?

That man is not in his right senses, you have use juju for the man. That is why he want to marry an overused woman with two kinds.

What a shame!

XullySwt:
Oh my dear, not everyone think alike. I still wonder why he wants to marry an overused woman But then some overused unique women are rare and hard to come by maybe that's why he stick to me

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double

Powersurge:
1. What business is he doing?
2. How was he able to live for two years when he has no job? Does he have other sources of income?
3. What skills does he have?


People get mind sha. I am in my mid 30s I am currently earning around 200k yet I won't dare marriage unless my wife is earning something as well (at least 50k).

I perceived you guys are from the north. Things could be different over there (cheaper things, food might not be a problem etc). If not, person no get source of income won marry a woman with kids. Hian!

My advice. Study the business. Is it yielding something? If you guys put more effort can it sustain you? How are other people doing the same business performing? If you even forget your career and marry him are u sure after growing the business he wouldn't bring other people that will be benefiting from your labor? Do you see him as ambitious person? How badly do you need the marriage? Do you think your children need a father figure? Sit down and sincerely answer these questions. Then make your decision.

XullySwt:
This comment caught me sha
I will do as you said, i appreciate the way you took out ur time to write this in details, God bless

Newyorkitis:
Plan a tiny wedding.
Leave the crowd out of it.

Or postpone the wedding till when things gets better.
May God bless the works of the both of you.

ashewoboy:
How old are you@op?

XullySwt:
Good evening everyone, thank God for life coz that alone is indeed a great blessing.

I will be brief with my post here i promise
Indeed i have seen life at its worst....

After mourning my husband i decided to leave my city Kaduna to begin a new life with my kids,yeah a boy and a girl.

I started from the scratch here in Abuja, from lesson that paid not upto #6000 to a school that pays #20,000 and presently am working in a school that pays not less than #50,000 all these boils down to my hardwork and perseverance and above all God.

Alright this the main ishhh, i met this single, understanding and loving guy that have already paid for my dowry and wedding is coming up November this year

Now my fear..... We love each other, he loves my kids so dearly we have been together for almost 2 years now that's why he decided to move the relationship further.

Ohh yes, i said my fear, his currently a job hunter ?

we thought things would get better before the wedding but Nigeria got no chill sincerely so now i have to leave my job and follow him to his city where he base so as to help him with his little business hoping things would get better.

So now my question, Am i doing the right thing by moving to his city or i should continue with my job and wait till he gets a better job??

Adding that his in his mid 30's and willing to settle down.

Please my people advice me. Or if you can help him pass through this stage of life, blessings will follow you.....

He is a graduate and lives in Zaria. God bless you all.

Between sorry for any blunders or typo error, am just seeing double