₦airaland Forum

Yemialade:
Hello nairalanders, am searching for a job,am yet to see one as i want to be financially stable.my mom came and ask me this question about my suitors,am like marriage is the last thing on my mind now.what do you guys think.

Searching for a job won't stop you from getting a suitor if you are searching too, but am quite sure that you want to get a job before settling down

So you can tell her that you want to get something doing before going into marriage, even if your future spouse may not want you to be working

You need some experiences that will shape your financial reasoning

I believe she will understand that

Acidosis:
There is no link whatsoever between your need for a job and your desire for marriage. Is there any law that says you can't get a job once you're married?

Stop putting the two needs (if at all you need both) on the same scale. Job will always come and go. A job is nothing but a means to an end and not an end in itself.

And what is this thing you guys call "financial stability" sef? Do you know what is means to be financially stable? Having a job (or job security) is not the same as being financially stable. How many Nigerians can survive a year without their salary? That's how to know those who are financially stable and those who aren't.

So ask yourself; are you willing to go through the process of financial stability before you consider the need for a spouse?

Is this even realistic? In this day and age, 2022 to be precise. A woman should have something doing before she gets married, she should not be walking into any marriage with only Womb and fine face. The economy is crazy right now and people need inflow of cash in whatever form of work they can lay their hands on.

She should get a job before settling down, have some savings, help her siblings, husband no dey run away.

Yemialade:
Hello nairalanders, am searching for a job,am yet to see one as i want to be financially stable.my mom came and ask me this question about my suitors,am like marriage is the last thing on my mind now.what do you guys think.

You better don't let any parent push you into any marriage before having a job, if you don't marry you won't die. Get yourself a source of income, have savings, help your siblings if you have one. The husband you will marry will still abuse you that you're useless if you don't have any life goals, or any source of income at all.

Use your head oh, don't be totally dependent. Husband no dey finish for market.

A word is enough for the wise.

truthsayer009:
Is this even realistic? In this day and age, 2022 to be precise. A woman should have something doing before she gets married, she should not be walking into any marriage with only Womb and fine face. The economy is crazy right now and people need inflow of cash in whatever form of work they can lay their hands on.

She should get a job before settling down, have some savings, help her siblings, husband no dey run away.

Which is easier to find: money or a good partner? I don't think it's reasonable for a woman to delay marriage with a good partner just because she needs to save money and help her family.

Both are NOT mutually exclusive. One does not prevent the other.

Acidosis:
Which is easier to find: money or a good partner?

Money. But when you marry a partner without standing on a solid ground yourself, you're a liability to them & they will use it against you in the future.

truthsayer009:
Money. But when you marry a partner without standing on a solid ground yourself, you're a liability to them & they will use it against you in the future.

I think there's more to look out for than a woman's current employment status to be honest. What if she has a job but only waiting for marriage to quit? What if she loses the job as a married woman and unwilling to get another?

If the current unemployment issues in Nigeria is the reason she's jobless (not skill gap, illiteracy, or laziness), I don't think it's right to use such against any woman.

Acidosis:
I think there's more to look out for than a woman's current employment status to be honest. What if she has a job but only waiting for marriage to quit? What if she loses the job as a married woman and unwilling to get another?

If the current unemployment issues in Nigeria is the reason she's jobless (not skill gap, illiteracy, or laziness), I don't think it's right to use such against any woman.

This same argument can be used against a man as well. What if a man marries and loses his job just like every other scenarios you mentioned here. At the end of the day, I think we just have different opinions on this. For me, I look at the economy & i can clearly see why a family with only one person with the income inflow cannot survive unless the husband is earning good money. The issue is that a lot of people are not earning such.

truthsayer009:
This same argument can be used against a man as well. What if a man marries and loses his job just like every other scenarios you mentioned here. At the end of the day, I think we just have different opinions on this. For me, I look at the economy & i can clearly see why a family with only one person with the income inflow cannot survive unless the husband is earning good money. The issue is that a lot of people are not earning such.

Okay. I understand your view.

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