₦airaland Forum

Jovialjune1:
Some women don't value themselves, living with a man when he hasn't done the needful, and having kids in the process

Shame.

Abuja marriage.
Very silly women.Some has given birth UpTo 4 times already.

He will be financing your wife too and penising her too.

If he can't decide what to do on this simple issue, no wonder he is clueless.

EcoLaw:
Good evening Nairalanders, a friend of mine came to me for an advise.

My friend is in his late 30s, he has been in a relationship with his woman, they have been together for a period of 8 years, and they have 2 kids together.

This my friend has a younger brother, the younger brother told him that they should go and collect traditional marriage list from his woman family, so that traditional marriage can take place by December.

My friend worry is that, one, he is not financially capable to do traditional marriage rite as of now and secondly, he doesn't have a good paying job now.

Another of his worry is that, he feels it shameful for his younger brother to sponsor his wedding, he is afraid won't he be insulted in the future by people, that he can't not pay his wife bride price, that it was somebody that married his wife for him. His brother told him not to worry about the financial responsibilities, that God will take control.

My advice for him was that he should tell his brother to give him the money to go start
a business, maybe when the business balances, he can go and do the marriage rite. But his brother told him that the lady has tired for waiting for 8 years, that they should do the traditional marriage first, every other thing shall fall in place. This his brother has been supportive to him.

Nairalanders please what's you take on this?

let him do that would come later ok

I repeat never ever go through a sponsored wedding. I repeat of u can't do a small wedding u have no biz been a family man. What about when kids start coming in. Ur brother would still help u train them. Maybe Ur brother wants to marry and he feels u have to first open d way for him oo. Don't be an infidel later oo. Dem go laugh u tire oo.

E be something.
Hope you're marrying a virgin?
Don't go and train someone else's child o.

Jovialjune1:
Some women don't value themselves, living with a man when he hasn't done the needful, and having kids in the process

Shame.

When I show penis now you will be all wet and humble and after servicing you, you will pack your load uninvited and join me and you will forget you ever said all these

Na your type I d like make my baby mama

And so what?

May be it's because he has not paid her bride price that's why he's suffering and poor. The best to do now is to go and pay her bride price no matter where the money is coming from, from your post you said his younger brother has been supportive so what stop him from collecting money from him and pay his woman's bride price... Mumu everywhere. He should continue fornicating until he die without paying the woman's bride price.... Odee

GardenGreen:
Even if he starts a business with it and uses money from the business to do the marriage rites, it's from his brother. He can't wish it away.

A brother is trying to help. The one that needs the help is trying to spin it with all sorts of negative narratives. Tufiakwa. Poor people have terrible mindsets. From the epistle, it is clear the elder brother isn't just stvpid. He has mental problem, unstable, create scenarios that do not exist in his head and at the same time would hold people responsible for his misfortunes


If we humans can humbly give, i don't see why we can't humble receive

If he considers his younger brother such an enemy, he should go it all out without him in his life completely.

Nonsense

He didn't help his brother stay financially stable ... Na marriage he wan spend on top.... E dey somehow to me sha ...

EcoLaw:
Good evening Nairalanders, a friend of mine came to me for an advise.

My friend is in his late 30s, he has been in a relationship with his woman, they have been together for a period of 8 years, and they have 2 kids together.

This my friend has a younger brother, the younger brother told him that they should go and collect traditional marriage list from his woman family, so that traditional marriage can take place by December.

My friend worry is that, one, he is not financially capable to do traditional marriage rite as of now and secondly, he doesn't have a good paying job now.

Another of his worry is that, he feels it shameful for his younger brother to sponsor his wedding, he is afraid won't he be insulted in the future by people, that he can't not pay his wife bride price, that it was somebody that married his wife for him. His brother told him not to worry about the financial responsibilities, that God will take control.

My advice for him was that he should tell his brother to give him the money to go start
a business, maybe when the business balances, he can go and do the marriage rite. But his brother told him that the lady has tired for waiting for 8 years, that they should do the traditional marriage first, every other thing shall fall in place. This his brother has been supportive to him.

Nairalanders please what's you take on this?

No job , no money but he is fvcking pvssy?
Your friend ( YOU) is stupid.

EcoLaw:
Good evening Nairalanders, a friend of mine came to me for an advise.

My friend is in his late 30s, he has been in a relationship with his woman, they have been together for a period of 8 years, and they have 2 kids together.

This my friend has a younger brother, the younger brother told him that they should go and collect traditional marriage list from his woman family, so that traditional marriage can take place by December.

My friend worry is that, one, he is not financially capable to do traditional marriage rite as of now and secondly, he doesn't have a good paying job now.

Another of his worry is that, he feels it shameful for his younger brother to sponsor his wedding, he is afraid won't he be insulted in the future by people, that he can't not pay his wife bride price, that it was somebody that married his wife for him. His brother told him not to worry about the financial responsibilities, that God will take control.

My advice for him was that he should tell his brother to give him the money to go start
a business, maybe when the business balances, he can go and do the marriage rite. But his brother told him that the lady has tired for waiting for 8 years, that they should do the traditional marriage first, every other thing shall fall in place. This his brother has been supportive to him.

Nairalanders please what's you take on this?

Your friend is not financially stable, neither does he have a good paying job and yet he already has 2 kids with a woman? Lol
How exactly have they been fairing financially? Some people are really the cause of their problems

Tell him to desist frm accepting the offer because it will definitly bring future embarrasement. I'll advice he ask his younger to support and not to sponsor the whole thing.

GardenGreen:
Even if he starts a business with it and uses money from the business to do the marriage rites, it's from his brother. He can't wish it away.

A brother is trying to help. The one that needs the help is trying to spin it with all sorts of negative narratives. Tufiakwa. Poor people have terrible mindsets. From the epistle, it is clear the elder brother isn't just stvpid. He has mental problem, unstable, create scenarios that do not exist in his head and at the same time would hold people responsible for his misfortunes


If we humans can humbly give, i don't see why we can't humble receive

If he considers his younger brother such an enemy, he should go it all out without him in his life completely.

Nonsense

Is This how you rush to conclusions?

Wow. Are you rich?

When Nigerians denigrate the poor as a group I laugh. Besides a few, most Nigerians are a sickness away from Poverty.

Righteousness2:
Your Friend has been Fornicating for 8yrs and has 2 kids. His brother wants to deliver him from the Bondage of Fornication. Yet your Friend is forming big boy.
Tell your Friend to repair the altar of his life. Tell your Friend to humble himself and do the right thing which is to go marry that lady legally.
Op , If you are the Friend, humble yourself and repair your altar.

Me thinks this submission is straight to the point and OP's friend should cut through the chase..

ur friend dey enjoy free wife na y ......imagine 8 years and 2 kids that woman deserve award even if na school she go don bag like 1phd 2 msc



when u already leaving with him doing wife duties even giving him kids he wont see the need to finally marry u

Righteousness2:
Your Friend has been Fornicating for 8yrs and has 2 kids. His brother wants to deliver him from the Bondage of Fornication. Yet your Friend is forming big boy.
Tell your Friend to repair the altar of his life. Tell your Friend to humble himself and do the right thing which is to go marry that lady legally.
Op , If you are the Friend, humble yourself and repair your altar.

true and funny.

EcoLaw:
Good evening Nairalanders, a friend of mine came to me for an advise.

My friend is in his late 30s, he has been in a relationship with his woman, they have been together for a period of 8 years, and they have 2 kids together.

This my friend has a younger brother, the younger brother told him that they should go and collect traditional marriage list from his woman family, so that traditional marriage can take place by December.

My friend worry is that, one, he is not financially capable to do traditional marriage rite as of now and secondly, he doesn't have a good paying job now.

Another of his worry is that, he feels it shameful for his younger brother to sponsor his wedding, he is afraid won't he be insulted in the future by people, that he can't not pay his wife bride price, that it was somebody that married his wife for him. His brother told him not to worry about the financial responsibilities, that God will take control.

My advice for him was that he should tell his brother to give him the money to go start
a business, maybe when the business balances, he can go and do the marriage rite. But his brother told him that the lady has tired for waiting for 8 years, that they should do the traditional marriage first, every other thing shall fall in place. This his brother has been supportive to him.

Nairalanders please what's you take on this?

No gree o, ur wife to be no go regard u o, she go see u like paper wey breeze carry and she go dey eye ur, truth be told she go Bleep ur junior broda

eazzzy1:
They are married, they are in a common law union. They have a family, what are the benefits of collecting list? how would collecting list benefit their union?

There are people who collected list and bought heaven and earth whose marriage didn’t last one year. If two people agree they want to be together, what’s the hullabaloo about doing a rite? they should collect the money and use it for productive ventures.

I tell you ... Marriage help ke, make them give the money start something abeg

Funny mentality

If the said brother reside in Canada earning thousands of dollars... Tell me the senior bro will reject his assistance?

SimplePlan34:
I repeat never ever go through a sponsored wedding. I repeat of u can't do a small wedding u have no biz been a family man. What about when kids start coming in. Ur brother would still help u train them. Maybe Ur brother wants to marry and he feels u have to first open d way for him oo. Don't be an infidel later oo. Dem go laugh u tire oo.

there are 2 children already

Jovialjune1:
Some women don't value themselves, living with a man when he hasn't done the needful, and having kids in the process

Shame.

Sit-down der atleast she don secure her own space no way any woman can just come up anywhere to chance d guy from him except say d man is curse
But u still dey search and wait for made man wan Monopus is closing on you

To me, his brother is right. Truth be told. 8 years isn't 8 days and when the op talk about opening a business instead, the man have been feeding his family plus 2 kids. Yes he may not have a well paying job but since it's not coming from his pocket, I have once opened a business with over 4 million and just 4 months in, thief's came by night and swept everything clean leaving a completely empty shop for me. adding that it's a task that must be performed, I advice he embrace the opportunity and get it done. Let go of pride.

I see nothing wrong here - who will go about telling other people that your friend's brother sponsored his wedding? What people don't hear or know will not be used against them.

Why do people think everything is all about starting business? Let him marry and solidify his relationship with his baby mama first. You will be shocked that everything else would fall into place thereafter. There's blessing in getting married the correct way.

EcoLaw:
Good evening Nairalanders, a friend of mine came to me for an advise.

My friend is in his late 30s, he has been in a relationship with his woman, they have been together for a period of 8 years, and they have 2 kids together.

This my friend has a younger brother, the younger brother told him that they should go and collect traditional marriage list from his woman family, so that traditional marriage can take place by December.

My friend worry is that, one, he is not financially capable to do traditional marriage rite as of now and secondly, he doesn't have a good paying job now.

Another of his worry is that, he feels it shameful for his younger brother to sponsor his wedding, he is afraid won't he be insulted in the future by people, that he can't not pay his wife bride price, that it was somebody that married his wife for him. His brother told him not to worry about the financial responsibilities, that God will take control.

My advice for him was that he should tell his brother to give him the money to go start
a business, maybe when the business balances, he can go and do the marriage rite. But his brother told him that the lady has tired for waiting for 8 years, that they should do the traditional marriage first, every other thing shall fall in place. This his brother has been supportive to him.

Nairalanders please what's you take on this?

Righteousness2:
Your Friend has been Fornicating for 8yrs and has 2 kids. His brother wants to deliver him from the Bondage of Fornication. Yet your Friend is forming big boy.
Tell your Friend to repair the altar of his life. Tell your Friend to humble himself and do the right thing which is to go marry that lady legally.
Op , If you are the Friend, humble yourself and repair your altar

He is the friend, I suspect.

Your friend's brother wants to waste his money on an irresponsible couple.
Why don't he invest it in something better that will yield interest?
Poor people and ego.

Righteousness2:
Your Friend has been Fornicating for 8yrs and has 2 kids. His brother wants to deliver him from the Bondage of Fornication. Yet your Friend is forming big boy.
Tell your Friend to repair the altar of his life. Tell your Friend to humble himself and do the right thing which is to go marry that lady legally.
Op , If you are the Friend, humble yourself and repair your altar.

NICE, PRIDE NA SHIT.. WHAT MAKES THE GUY THINK HE WONT BE THE ONE TO HELP HIS YOUNGER BROTHER IN THE NEAR FUTURE. WELL MAKE E GO MARRY JARE, IF NA E DAUGHTER ONE GUY MAN POSITION FOR 8 YEARS WITHOUT MARRYING HER, HOW E GO FEEL?

eazzzy1:
They are married, they are in a common law union. They have a family, what are the benefits of collecting list? how would collecting list benefit their union?

There are people who collected list and bought heaven and earth whose marriage didn’t last one year. If two people agree they want to be together, what’s the hullabaloo about doing a rite? they should collect the money and use it for productive ventures.

this one u are speaking is grammar. Common law ke?
In my hometown, any child born out of wedlock belongs to the woman's family. Even if u come and marry her properly later, the children given birth to after the marriage will belong to the couple but the prior own belongs to the woman's family.
That's our tradition. We don't have any business with DNA. U don't marry our daughter, any child she has as a single parent belongs to us.

EcoLaw:
Good evening Nairalanders, a friend of mine came to me for an advise.

My friend is in his late 30s, he has been in a relationship with his woman, they have been together for a period of 8 years, and they have 2 kids together.

This my friend has a younger brother, the younger brother told him that they should go and collect traditional marriage list from his woman family, so that traditional marriage can take place by December.

My friend worry is that, one, he is not financially capable to do traditional marriage rite as of now and secondly, he doesn't have a good paying job now.

Another of his worry is that, he feels it shameful for his younger brother to sponsor his wedding, he is afraid won't he be insulted in the future by people, that he can't not pay his wife bride price, that it was somebody that married his wife for him. His brother told him not to worry about the financial responsibilities, that God will take control.

My advice for him was that he should tell his brother to give him the money to go start
a business, maybe when the business balances, he can go and do the marriage rite. But his brother told him that the lady has tired for waiting for 8 years, that they should do the traditional marriage first, every other thing shall fall in place. This his brother has been supportive to him.

Nairalanders please what's you take on this?

Bros, thanks for looking out for your friend but I am not in support of giving him money to start a business. People fail in business because they are not good in it. Your friend's brother knows his brother more than you do and he may have made that conclusion.

Depending on his tribe and values, I see nothing wrong in a brother assisting his brother in his marriage rites as long as he keeps it private and don't tell whoever cares to listen about it.