₦airaland Forum

Acidosis:
Your elder brother is 34? It's not too late to take some risks. Relocation is a good option but the choice of words (divorce and abortion) for a newbie migrant is a big red flag already. But then, this woman is pregnant; her choice of words may have been influenced by her condition and frustration. Your brother should know better.

For me, his age is the ultimate factor. If he was anything close to 40-45 under the same scenario, then it would be very f00lish of him to abandon a thriving law career/firm.

honestly the risk isn't Worth it...even the age issue you raised,its not like if its immediately he gets there that he will find his feet,it can take years too...
and he may be under the mercy of the wife during those periods as she Will certainly be earning more than him.....
me sha no fit take such risk exchanging certainty for the uncertain untop marriage

Acidosis:
Your elder brother is 34? It's not too late to take some risks. Relocation is a good option but the choice of words (divorce and abortion) for a newbie migrant is a big red flag already. But then, this woman is pregnant; her choice of words may have been influenced by her condition and frustration. Your brother should know better.

For me, his age is the ultimate factor. If he was anything close to 40-45 under the same scenario, then it would be very f00lish of him to abandon a thriving law career/firm.

To be honest some of his friends who are abroad advised him to take the risk but none of these friends also have the legal career he has had...and none has also been able to give him any cogent answer whenever he ask them of what job is available that will replace his career back here....infact when he asked these friends what they themselves are doing to survive there they are usually non forthcoming...all they just tell him is to come and he will find something to do.
One of those friends even advised him to consider going back for a nursing degree..lol
At least one told him there are menial jobs for the mean time for him..
The reality on ground is that It’s hard and even almost impossible as a Nigerian lawyer to practice the profession outside even in UK and US...
And the age factor too, how many years will he take him before he can find his feet,if he ever does at all...
There so many uncertainties he is wary of.

sapoyoro:
honestly the risk isn't Worth it...even the age issue you raised,its not like if its immediately he gets there that he will find his feet,it can take years too...
and he may be under the mercy of the wife during those periods as she Will certainly be earning more than him.....
me sha no fit take such risk exchanging certainty for the uncertain untop marriage

Thank you

Brother told her to do her worst already. So what do you want us to say again?

Anyways, don't let a woman direct you. They're created to advice not to instruct.
Once a woman begin to give you conditions, send her outta your life else, you will fall to the ground. This was what killed Samson (that bible character).

If you are very successful in NIGERIA there is no need traveling abroad

jeromestarks:
Brother told her to do her worst already. So what do you want us to say again?

Anyways, don't let a woman direct you. They're created to advice not to instruct.
Once a woman begin to give you conditions, send her outta your life else, you will fall to the ground. This was what killed Samson (that bible character).

Thank you.

[quote author=sokeril post=116384709][/quote]Those friends and family advising your brother to relocate, especially the males among them have no self dignity. I'm afraid your brother's wife is taboo.

Relocating abroad away from your marriage when finance is fairly OK points to greed as the driving factor. First sign of a bad spouse. No self respecting man follows his wife around. It's the other way round. But a situation where he has a life going on for him and the spouse is suggesting he throws it all away and engage in a wild goose chase is devilish.

A wife from hell!

McDuncan:
Those friends and family advising your brother to relocate, especially the males among them have no self dignity. I'm afraid your brother's wife is taboo.

Relocating abroad away from your marriage when finance is fairly OK points to greed as the driving factor. First sign of a bad spouse. No self respecting man follows his wife around. It's the other way round. But a situation where he has a life going on for him and the spouse is suggesting he throws it all away and engage in a wild goose chase is devilish.

A wife from hell!

Thank you...those friends are telling him to come,but whenever he asked them what they themselves are doing in the UK non of them have been really forthcoming..maybe they are not that proud of what they are doing there.

Two major issues here.

1.Her threats of divorce / abortion, the matter no reach that level

2. His profession law, will he go through law school again over there? Its not like he's an accountant or something.

His legal profession is an issue a very big issue, the man knows it even the wife knows so why the threats.

Not everybody is freaked with relocation, some are content where they are, I am also not a fan of couples living continents apart, especially young marriages like this but there should be ways around this.

She knew this was a possibility that they might end up living apart when she decided to travel especially when the husband was not in total support so why the threats, Since he's not the one pressuring her to come home, she should just calm down and have her baby, and the hubby comes to visit once a while, she too comes visit once a while. They are blessed with two children already, it has happened already she should make the most of it.

The reality is abroad is (or might be) good for her as a nurse but might not be the best for her husband with a nigerian law degree until he can practice abroad.


I once had an older cousin who had a friend whose husband lived in the UK, he used to come home every now and then to see his wife, she was a top banker then( that was when Nigeria was very good anyway)as young as I was I always wondered how they cope.

Lots of families are being separated by the relocation frenzy going up and down.

NoToPile:
Two major issues here.

1.Her threats of divorce / abortion, the matter no reach that level

2. His profession law, will he go through law school again over there? Its not like he's an accountant or something.

His legal profession is an issue a very big issue, the man knows it even the wife knows so why the threats.

Not everybody is freaked with relocation, some are content where they are, I am also not a fan of couples living continents apart, especially young marriages like this but there should be ways around this.

She knew this was a possibility that they might end up living apart when she decided to travel especially when the husband was not in total support so why the threats, Since he's not the one pressuring her to come home, she should just calm down and have her baby, and the hubby comes to visit once a while, she too comes visit once a while. They are blessed with two children already, it has happened already she should make the most of it.

The reality is abroad is (or might be) good for her as a nurse but might not be the best for her husband with a nigerian law degree until he can practice abroad.


I once had an older cousin who had a friend whose husband lived in the UK, he used to come home every now and then to see his wife, she was a top banker then( that was when Nigeria was very good anyway)as young as I was I always wondered how they cope.

Lots of families are being separated by the relocation frenzy going up and down.

That’s exactly what the husband is proposing, for him to come and visit in a while and for her to come over too during her leave.
But madam is saying no,he must relocate permanently

sokeril:
That’s exactly what the husband is proposing, for him to come and visit in a while and for her to come over too during her leave.
But madam is saying no,he must relocate permanently

And since Oga doesn't want to relocate permanently God will help them nigbayen.

NoToPile:
And since Oga doesn't want to relocate permanently God will help them nigbayen.

The problem is not even about relocating but more about what will he even be doing when he gets abroad?
Even his wife has no sufficient answer on that,she just believes when he get there he will get something to do,always citing her friends husband who has also relocate as examples.

sokeril

Pleeeeeease...
Advice your brother not to go abroad just yet...

The fact that his wife is already threatening him whilst in Nigeria goes to show the extent at which she is willing to go to get what she wants...

If now that your brother isn't dependent on her, she is acting like this, how do you think she will act when he is now dependent on her?

Personally I hate being threatened and i cannot be bullied into taking any action I'm against... If I was in your brother's shoes, I will just ignore her, let her do her worse...

That's because someone that can threaten you with your unborn child cannot be reasoned with, their mind is already made up, so there's no point trying...

If however your brother decides to go, let him write all the professional exams to enable him kick start his career immediately he goes there, if not ehhhhhhh, I pity him ....

Jamesbiodun:
She is already saying she want divorce, to hell with her and her divorce...
Since the husband is doing fine in Nigeria I don't think he should stress himself, if she really want the marriage she can come to Nigeria anytime she want or the husband to go visit once in a while...
Don't let any woman control you

Ur papa born u well, u are true and real son of d soil not some bastards that would succumb to d manipulation of the wife

sokeril:
Although I don’t think the woman is a bad person o and personally our relationship is very good...but her threat is already a huge red flag.

My dear, u are still new to women affairs, na we wey dun see dem finish go tell u d story about women. So u never see an angelic woman that would just wake up one morning and start carrying face for d husband?

Fahvvy:
sokeril

Pleeeeeease...
Advice your brother not to go abroad just yet...

The fact that his wife is already threatening him whilst in Nigeria goes to show the extent at which she is willing to go to get what she wants...

If now that your brother isn't dependent on her, she is acting like this, how do you think she will act when he is now dependent on her?

Personally I hate being threatened and i cannot be bullied into taking any action I'm against... If I was in your brother's shoes, I will just ignore her, let her do her worse...

That's because someone that can threaten you with your unborn child cannot be reasoned with, their mind is already made up, so there's no point trying...

If however your brother decides to go, let him write all the professional exams to enable him kick start his career immediately he goes there, if not ehhhhhhh, I pity him ....

Thank you.
So many scary and red flags already..it’s scary to me that a woman is willing to let her husband sacrifice his career with the future potential of what he can still achieved,to give all all these up for her selfish interest

emmanuelbrown26:
My dear, u are still new to women affairs, na we wey dun see dem finish go tell u d story about women. So u never see an angelic woman that would just wake up one morning and start carrying face for d husband?

Thank you sir.one of our brothers raise the same point.

UK to Nigeria is a 6-hour flight and they are in the same time zone most of the year. Your brother should employ capable hands for his law firm and he will provide oversight from the UK when needed.

seyenko:
UK to Nigeria is a 6-hour flight and they are in the same time zone most of the year. Your brother should employ capable hands for his law firm and he will provide oversight from the UK when needed.

The wife also raised this option...but how practicable is this in the long run?
And what will he be doing in the UK

ha ha ... e still come give am another belle?

If I was your uncle ,I would have invited her to my next wedding for threatening me with divorce….tell your uncle not to fall for her schemes unless he wants to become a house man to the woman…

He can apply for a visa and go see his family for few months and come back home to face his career…

The joke is on your brother for expecting a contentious wife (greedy/self-absorbing and conceited/sententious woman) he married with his eyes wide open to be behaving like a submissive wife (selfless and humble woman), especially now that she's outside the shores of Nigeria, worse still when he's neither an established aristocrat nor she has an altruistic interest in him.

Anyway, since he literally hasn't always seen anything wrong in being submissive to her from the inception of their relationship, his probable denial of the obvious notwithstanding, he can still jettison his fledgling law career in Nigeria for now, her crassness through a threat to abort notwithstanding, and relocate to meet her as she pleases without closing down his chamber outright.

On whether he will find something dignifing doing in the UK or U.S. within and outside the legal profession, before becoming qualified to practice especially in the latter country if he so wishes to, definitely he'll, depending on the depth of his versatility, perseverance, resilience.

The wife being a contentious woman doesn't automatically make her an evil person per se. So, he could still have both a successful marriage and career with her in his life outside Nigeria since he doesn't mind being a submissive man; the worst it'll get if she metamorphosed to a termagant will be for him to become subjugable, in addition to being all-around buoyant and resourceful, to maintain peace.

..

The wife has been threatening fire and brimstone that she will abort her current pregnancy and fill for divorce.. my brother has told her to do her worst.

Your brother is a real nigga...

He must call her bluff since she has chosen to communicate like an animal.

crackhaus:
Your brother is a real nigga...

He must call her bluff since she has chosen to communicate like an animal.

She is use to always using force to achieve what she want because brother is a really soft and easy going man.

RightToReject:
The joke is on your brother for expecting a contentious wife (greedy/self-absorbing and conceited/sententious woman) he married with his eyes wide open to be behaving like a submissive wife (selfless and humble woman), especially now that she's outside the shores of Nigeria, worse still when he's neither an established aristocrat nor she has an altruistic interest in him.

Anyway, since he literally hasn't always seen anything wrong in being submissive to her from the inception of their relationship, his probable denial of the obvious notwithstanding, he can still jettison his fledgling law career in Nigeria for now, her crassness through a threat to abort notwithstanding, and relocate to meet her as she pleases without closing down his chamber outright.

On whether he will find something dignifing doing in the UK or U.S. within and outside the legal profession, before becoming qualified to practice especially in the latter country if he so wishes to, definitely he'll, depending on the depth of his versatility, perseverance, resilience.

The wife being a contentious woman doesn't automatically make her an evil person per se. So, he could still have both a successful marriage and career with her in his life outside Nigeria since he doesn't mind being a submissive man; the worst it'll get if she metamorphosed to a termagant will be for him to become subjugable, in addition to being all-around buoyant and resourceful, to maintain peace.

You’re right he is a bit submissive...never seen a man so scared of his wife

sokeril:
She is use to always using force to achieve what she want because brother is a really soft and easy going man.

Ahh, I see... No wonder she could have such guts to be making threats.

I just hope your brother will be able to resist her this time.

Kobojunkie:
What naivety? What do you mean by that?

This is real life... there are no manuals for these things.

Lol.... You are just a weird fellow.. Are you male or female?

sharpwriter:
Lol.... You are just a weird fellow.. Are you male or female?

Weird because I follow no scripts where life is concerned?

sharpwriter:
Lol.... You are just a weird fellow.. Are you male or female?

says rubbish most of the time

Kobojunkie:
Weird because I follow no scripts where life is concerned?

No! But because you are neither here nor there in most of your answers, not just on this thread alone.

Kobojunkie:
Weird because I follow no scripts where life is concerned?

you overate yourself sha